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  #1  
Old 2006-12-21, 00:02
far_beyond_sane's Avatar
far_beyond_sane far_beyond_sane is offline
You gamma-minus fucktards
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2006 'Tabbies Announced!

Merry Fucking Christmas, metalfags one and all. In the season of Yuletide necrobollocks, I bring you the tabulated results of all your dire bullshit and the judgements you have seen fit to dispense. Cunts.

MOST IRRITATING MEMBER:

This is usually a competitive category, as some of you are JUST FUCKING GRATING. The Nokia phones spambot got a mention on 3 votes, Metal Monkey and Problematic had a half-decent showing with 4 each, and Skeletor of Steel managed a credible and emo-flavoured 6.

But it all came to nought. The absolute undisputed king of the mangled sentence and retarded fucking opinion, REQUIEM, managed more votes than everyone else put together with a monstrous 15.

LEAST IRRITATING N00B:

Moe got 3, Blood Red Bass and Mrs. M got 4 each, Xgraf garnered a mighty 8. It's official. We hate him the least.

FAVOURITE LITTLE BITCH:

NEWSFLASH: TRANSIENT, THE PERENNIAL BITCH, HAS FINALLY BEEN DETHRONED. His 10 votes only got him to the line, while Bob Ze EnglishMangler's 11 got him over it. (Even though he quit, Dissection still managed a credible 7. Only two other people managed to get a vote at all. It's pretty clear how our bitches break down.)

BIGGEST NAZI FUCKWIT MOD:

Deadset tied. On 10 votes each, myself and Mr. PST. Expect more hostility than usual for telling us how mean we are. Powers was the only other bastard who managed a showing, with a limp and floppy 3.

BEST AVATAR:

A clear win for the Bass Behemoth, with 7. Slayme, that fucking shitsucker, got 4. You made this one uncompetitive by all voting for yourselves. Stupid twats.

BEST SIGNATURE:


Spread all over the place like your mum, this category was. But Brains For Brekkers managed 4, which still makes him first. Fittingly, his signature says:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
When im someones signature quote it always reminds me how dumb i realy am.


WHERE ARE THEY NOW?:

No-one ever realises this is from a Saxon song, and answers "The broken heroes?" Shame on you. Anyway, Metal=Life & Def got 4 up and Trendkill 420 got 3. In other words, Def did very well for a guy that's still around.

FLAMAGE OF THE YEARAGE:

These are often hard to remember. Many of you voted for Foxguitar for such luminary episodes as this one. You failed to remember that was in fact 2005. Douchepigs. Of the votes that were real... this excresence from Skeletor of Faggotry got lit up like a 4-vote Christmas tree. Likewise, Dissection's Goodbye thread got the big 4-vote finger.

(Transient also got 3 votes for being alive, seeing as many of you just assume that at some point he was yelled at and it was funny.)

BIGGEST CUNT:

A fairly widespread field. Problematic, Zionist, Bia, XTRALBS and PST picked up 2 or 3 each (I was sick of counting accurately by this point in time).

However, you utter shitsacks, you'll never guess who won. Fucking ME. 8 votes (although 3 of you qualified by saying "in a nice way"). And after all the lovely things I've said and done, too.

***

AND NOW SOME FRESH MEAT:

We need two new award categories. Why? Because it's fucking fun, that's why. So here they are:

The "Keyballs" Award - For the Biggest Chasm Between e-Blather and Real Life.

This one goes to the person with the biggest online mouth, the biggest tough-talking e-thug... who's actually 115lbs of pouty-mouthed lily-white suburban fagflesh and couldn't stand up to a toddler with a plastic hammer without the intervention of a computer screen.

The Mutt Award - For the Deadset Ugliest Motherfucker on the Green Screen

You've seen the pic thread. Some of you are downright hideous. Let's find the ugliest fucker on here and TURN THE GODDAMN SCREWS ON THEIR UGLINESS.

CONGRATULATIONS, OR NOT, TO ALL OUR LUCKY, OR UNLUCKY, WINNERS. VOTE ON THE NEW ONES NOW, CUM SCULPTURES!
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  #2  
Old 2006-12-21, 00:19
Zionist Zionist is offline
My Ass, Your Face
 
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Biggest Keyball - Requiem, no question. This fucker is going to spend the rest of his natural born life entertaining us with is poor grammar skills and his ever decreasingly low IQ that would make a kid with down syndrome blush. Tip of the hat to you.

Biggest Mutt - Requiem again. The first time I saw his picture I thought I was looking at a female anime.
__________________
A little section of Requiem's "I finally got laid" posts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
Wore her out before I could finish(which im grateful for)


Funeral Mulch; My brutal death metal band from West Michigan.
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  #3  
Old 2006-12-21, 00:57
BassBehemoth's Avatar
BassBehemoth BassBehemoth is offline
Die Young.
 
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First, I'd like to thank Bia..for creating my avatar. Secondly, I would like to thank Canadian beer and beavers whom drink beer. I couldn't have done it without them.

Keyballs - Requiem...but I'm sure a lot of other people could take this nomination as well.

I'll have to think over the Mutt award.
__________________
Bitches, Hoes And Corn Rows.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moe_blunts
you done told me lots of thangs bout beer n shit and canada. have a grand ol cunt of a good time.


RIP moe.
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  #4  
Old 2006-12-21, 01:11
CompelledToLacerate's Avatar
CompelledToLacerate CompelledToLacerate is offline
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
 
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I vote for the keyballs thing 666petthylord666, even though he's gone. Really pussy-sounding dude.
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DETH TOLL!!!

Keep checking for new crap.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #5  
Old 2006-12-21, 01:22
problematic's Avatar
problematic problematic is offline
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FINALLY THE RESULTS!


Keyballs - Infinity

Mutt - I don't visit the Ugly Photobook thread much... but I'll say... bah, I find this too offensive. Beyond jokes or fun.
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  #6  
Old 2006-12-21, 01:45
Requiem Requiem is offline
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Keyballs - Transient
Mutt - CTL

I won the award I wanted.
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  #7  
Old 2006-12-21, 02:12
Dyldo's Avatar
Dyldo Dyldo is offline
Throbbing Member
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Keyball: Tranny (skeletor was runner up)
Mutt: CTL
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Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so ronrey
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  #8  
Old 2006-12-21, 02:17
Infinity's Avatar
Infinity Infinity is offline
Life is pain.
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Nice close up fuck face.

Keyball - Me, even though I talk the same amount of shit real life.

Mutt - Gotta be CTL I think, doesn't stop me from loving you though.

Sexiest metaltabber - Bones and Marino!
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  #9  
Old 2006-12-21, 02:40
YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD's Avatar
YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinity
Sexiest metaltabber - Bones and Marino!



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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Sex is free if you don't mind spending most of your night in the bushes with both a balaclava and an overblown sense of entitlement.
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  #10  
Old 2006-12-21, 02:43
Infinity's Avatar
Infinity Infinity is offline
Life is pain.
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Ok because you look like that dude you are sexy too.
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  #11  
Old 2006-12-21, 02:47
YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD's Avatar
YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Sex is free if you don't mind spending most of your night in the bushes with both a balaclava and an overblown sense of entitlement.
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  #12  
Old 2006-12-21, 04:28
johnmansley's Avatar
johnmansley johnmansley is offline
Schrodinger's Cat
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Keyballs - Probably Dissection with all his airsoft and army cadet bullshit.

Mutt - K13m. Sorry, man, it must be those cameras in Holland.
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Deadhead Roses - Zastruga
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  #13  
Old 2006-12-21, 06:17
brainsforbreakfast's Avatar
brainsforbreakfast brainsforbreakfast is offline
El Diablo sin pantalones
 
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Cool, I got the Best Signature Tabbie
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darko
Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
Why would you sig that?
Why not? Why would you sig me saying that I hate you? I was serious there, too.


I'm in despair! The internet has left me in despair!
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  #14  
Old 2006-12-21, 12:08
SARS's Avatar
SARS SARS is offline
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Thank christ I avoided this year.
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That snatch is like a glove fit for God.
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  #15  
Old 2006-12-21, 12:18
CompelledToLacerate's Avatar
CompelledToLacerate CompelledToLacerate is offline
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinity
Nice close up fuck face.

Keyball - Me, even though I talk the same amount of shit real life.

Mutt - Gotta be CTL I think, doesn't stop me from loving you though.

Sexiest metaltabber - Bones and Marino!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...cInBasement.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...ture2004-05.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...ocks/Someme.jpg

Yeah, I'm not pretty. The last one is a more recent picture, btw.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!

Keep checking for new crap.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #16  
Old 2006-12-21, 12:21
SARS's Avatar
SARS SARS is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane

The Mutt Award - For the Deadset Ugliest Motherfucker on the Green Screen


The guy above me.

[EDIT]

Wait a sec, I remember Bia - so, yeah, her.
__________________
That snatch is like a glove fit for God.

Last edited by SARS : 2006-12-21 at 12:24.
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  #17  
Old 2006-12-21, 14:15
Zionist Zionist is offline
My Ass, Your Face
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate

Sorry, Requiem. I'm going to remove your spot in my biggest mutt award slot.
__________________
A little section of Requiem's "I finally got laid" posts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
Wore her out before I could finish(which im grateful for)


Funeral Mulch; My brutal death metal band from West Michigan.
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  #18  
Old 2006-12-21, 14:26
SARS's Avatar
SARS SARS is offline
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If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.
If I can't be bothered to type out three letters, I don't deserve a vote.

[edit]
Very, very subtle.
__________________
That snatch is like a glove fit for God.

Last edited by SARS : 2006-12-21 at 19:26.
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  #19  
Old 2006-12-21, 14:27
Requiem Requiem is offline
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I really need a new picture so you fuckers can wank to it.
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  #20  
Old 2006-12-21, 15:43
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xgrafcorex xgrafcorex is offline
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awww you guys might not love me, but you don't hate me as much as other people??

i'll have to review the pic thread for the mutt and i'll keep my eyes open for shit talkers. kinda hard to pick someone for that since we don't know how much they talk shit in real life.
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