Can't believe we don't have a rugby thread.

My fearless and most likely inaccurate quarter-final predictions:

Australia vs. England - Worst RWC defence EVAR. England will be shattered into bitch juice.

NZ vs. France - Sorry, France. NZ too strong, too creative, too Maori.

SA vs. Wales - Wales gets brutalised. Be fun to watch.

Argentina vs. Scotland - Scotland are my dark horse. But they lose here.

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rugby is a good sport.

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I see some Southern Hemisphere (i.e. the world's anus) bias here. My prediction is that the US doesn't care about rugby and Jonah Lomu would scare us in person.

I wouldn't really call it 'bias' as much as 'the Northern hemisphere currently being appallingly shit at rugby'.

Jonah Lomu is doesn't have kidneys. I find Jerry Collins scarier.

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England are laughable, even with "Man of Glass" candidate Wilkinson in the starting XV. No creativity, no guile, no possession in the opposition's half, no strategy and an early flight home to watch the semi-finals on TV.

If South Africa fire on all cylinders they're my outside bet, particularly if the opposition ignore the threat of Habana from deep, but I can't see beyond New Zealand. But will they bottle it again? That's the question...

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Manswhore, I can even see you clowns losing to Tonga on a truly bad day. Then you wouldn't make the fucking quarters... Ouch.

Cool pool matches to come: Ireland vs. France. Scotland vs. Italy. Fiji vs. Wales.

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That's because the Northern Hemisphere is, as it has always been, engaged in a true man's sport: wars of conquest. You ever noticed how the Southern Hemisphere hasn't conquered shit? It's because all its time is spent playing that pussy sport for 12 year-old prepubescent girls asking God if He's there.

And any large blackish man is enough to scare Americans in person.

Well, either that, or something to do with being recent colonies. Now imperial aggression is not so de rigeur except for your rotten lot, we have to take what symbolic victories we can get.

It has occurred to me that many of the people here might not have seen the girls at play! It's a curious world.

Pattycake session..
This one has pretty hair.
Cheeky little things.

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I can see this, too, unfortunately. We truly are abysmal.

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I don't think it's likely, though. Tonga play violent loony Islander rugby, running all over the place at all angles at the slightest provocation. They think the breakdown is something that happens to a car, and they treat turnovers as routine that bring the joy of tackling white people. All you'll need is a bit of discipline and it should happen.

Also, you've got the Amazingly Breakable Bootboy and Olly Barkley back. That's good... right?

(One thing I forgot though... You've got to play Samoa first. Samoa will be PISSED OFF they lost to Tonga, because they hate each other and play all the time, and usually they win. If Samoa beat you, Tonga will fancy themselves and play like mad cunts.)

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Oh, I've seen the sissy maries with their fancy shirts and their stylish hairdos throw their arms around one another and have a make out pile, nine to a side.

Reading this thread has got to be more fun than watching a game.

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Actually I find watching prepubescent girls make out much more fun than talking shit about any sport.

And I also wonder why the Canadian team isn't on your list, being recent colonies and all. What the hell symbolic victories do they get? None. They have to wake up every morning and deal with the fact that they're Canadian.

Tonga put the wind right up the Boks.

Roll on Tonga vs. England!

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Fuck you all.

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Now to destroy Australia *evil maniacal laugh*

Or maybe not...

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PROBABLY NOT, NO.

Fucking Tongans. Can't trust 'em.

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bring on NZ in the semi.

its wierd to think that the whole of england will be cheering for france this evening, but we will be pulverised by the All Blacks. again.

Fiji to beat S.Africa and Scotland to beat the Argies.

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HOW THE FUCK DID FRANCE AND ENGLAND WIN???

Heh, thats why I never tip these days...
Good first half for Australia, horrendous second.. Surprised to see the Kiwi's go down.

Hahaha, the colonies lose, even symbolically.

ENGLAND: AUSTRINE FOR TOTAL FUCKING RAPE

It's too bad you won the Ashes this past year, or this could be funnier.

I'm still recovering from the utter shock...

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Ugh. Well, that was a fucking disappointment, wasn't it?

(Also, fuck you all.)

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Jim's team got beat by ENGLISHMEN! Jim's team got beat by ENGLISHMEN! Nah nah nah nah! ENGLISHMEN! ENGLISHMEN!

At least it's not the French.

As a consolation, England V France should be a good match, should be plenty of English fans in France for the match I think.
I want England/RSA final...

I don't; South Africa have already nilled us in the tournament!

The World Cup is now South Africa's to lose, in my opinion.

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NZ or SA would be normal. The French would be OK. England is execrable. I don't expect you to understand, bearded creep.

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If I didn't understand, why would I be teasing you?

Because you'll exploit any opportunity, no matter how opaque, to hurt my feeling?

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But how much more fun is it if I know Australians have an irrational hatred of the English and take an inordinate amount of pride in beating them at sports they invented?

Also, I imagine I've spent more time watching and playing rugby than you have every American sport combined.

And if I really wanted to hurt your feelings at every chance I'd have to spend way more time in the fitness thread.

well i'm kinda definitely backing SA. but i was kinda impressed with the US team. thought they'd be all huk huk, blue42, beeep - forward pass. although they seem to mostly be imports (like from zimbabwe and shit).

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Overconsumption is an American sport. So, no. You imagine wrong.

Cure for rugby-related ennui: hours and hours of marking the same fucking report over and over again. It numbs the everything.

So, who's left in the competition? France, Argentina, SA, England?

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You're an American sport!

Overconsumption is more like basketball: invented by foreign devils, played at its highest level by Americans and on TV. If you think overconsumption is an American invention you'll be happy to know that many historians and economists would take the time out of the busiest of their days to laugh just at you.

And I still bet I've played more rugby than you've overconsumed.

BULLSHIT, crotchspume. I am a mealworm amongst humans. You could spend your life perpetually diving on a Gilbert and having your anus poked by Maoris, and you would still pale in comparison to my glorious chewtastic lexicon of consumable power.

(Even the Romans would have balked at the Thickburger.)

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Are you calling yourself fat?

Eng - RSA in the final then. RSA have had more convincing results this tournament than England, and it's not worth looking at what happened when they played previously.

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S.A. wins. Well, everyone saw that coming. Kind of. Whatever.

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I can't believe we were robbed of that try. Still, it may not have been enough anyway.

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Ill-discipline cost us.

I honestly don't care, it all pales into obscurity against the derby victory for Liverpool.

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Sorry, he went into touch. Don't expect sympathy from anyone who isn't English.

(Derby victory?)

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Everton 1-2 Liverpool

The second biggest game in the footballing calendar for Liverpool fans (behind the Man United game).

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Fucking Everton. They sound ridiculous.

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They are ridiculous

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