What kind of guitar tricks impress the ladies the most? My gf is into metal and i havent played for her yet.

__________________

ask her what her favorite song is, learn it, then whip it out one day.

__________________

well thatd be tough since her favorite shit isnt learnable instantly lol.

__________________

Write her one.....its like the awesomest thing you can possibly do. Say its for her....but then play it to your next bitch too, and say she was the inspirations...and so on. If you can't do that, learn somethin real smooth like John Mayer's "Your Body Is A Wonderland" or Clapton's "Change the World". Enjoy the sex.

just learn the 4 chords to sexual healing........that will get her and all the songs warnerve mentioned

enjoy the sex

__________________

Those same four chords are used in Strongbad's smash hit "The Cheat Is Not Dead".

fuck that, learn how to play Marvin Gaye - Lets get it on.

My old jazzy/hip hop/bluesy (all mixed into one, instrumentals only cause we didn't have a singer) played that one time we had a gig for a dance. We got a mic for it, and we all sang (me and the bass player, with drummer singing sometimes) and the whole place broke out in slow dance and all the girls were wanting a peice afterwards.

Marvin Gaye - sweetness, for you, and for the women.

__________________

play really brutal and fast

__________________

Invite her on a picnic and make penis shaped sandwhiches.

__________________

playsome massive fucking solo or somecheap love balled...i dont know!


haha...penis shaped sandwitches..ahh ew.

start growling, bust out in some fucked up crazy shit, then smack your
face into your knees, then cry to mummy. that'll turn her on...

__________________

Play some lead shit and do dick taps. Don't know what one is? Pop up your little friend and play the last solo on One (metallica). Instead of tapping with your pick, use your dick for that first lick. Wow, TAKE THAT DR. SUESS!

__________________

haha dick taps i always thought about doing those.

__________________

yeah, hahahaha.....haha......ha...........ha.................ha................................. ...ha.................

__________________

yeah, but not everyone has a 5 inch curved penis like you metal=life.

__________________

The guitar trick that impresses most is when you can lift one up... without using your hands.

__________________

yeah, that's not impossible

do that.

__________________

<----HAHAHA!!


this is kinda funny since he wants help and were giving him perverse replys lol.

Its pretty pathetic when you can't even impress your own girlfriend and you expect people from all over the world to tell you how. No one knows you or your girlfriend so how can we possibly help?

__________________

Anal Cunt - "Picnic of Love"

Learn the song "I Didnt have any money to buy you a gift so I wrote you this song" claim it as your own. Chances are she never has or will hear of Anal Cunt.

That's not my kind of girl. Hasn't heard of Anal Cunt, bollocks! Where are all the girls that listen to Bezerker and eat broken glass?

(metal=life is right. You suck.)

__________________

dude metal=life was just looking for ideas, i dont even care, i already wrote her a song awhile ago havent showed her it yet. But dick tapping thats a good idea.

__________________

yeah, when it gets time to lay her, you should ask us what positions are good, and to demonstrate them for you. that'll be the next thread right?

__________________

Ok, obviously this is what you want to do. You want to hump this chicks brains out but you don't want to jump into it. You want to be smooth. Cause I guess shes cool and you really like her and yadda yadda. Play her a song on guitar ONLY if she thinks its a good idea. If she hardly even likes music you might want to make a move on her during a movie. But lets say she digs your playing. Say something along the lines of how much music means to you and how its cool to meet someone who feels the same way bah blah blah. Then...ask her if she wants to watch a movie. A movie at your house. Nothin gorey...but like a good suspenseful movie. With the lights out. Keep the room kinda cool (tempeture wise) and later on ask her if shes cold. I gaurantee you she'll say yes so go and get a big blanket. This is your time to make the first move. Put the blanket over you and her and put your arm around her as you're doin this. Then just chill there for awhile and make some small talk. Talk quietly so you don't ruin the mood. Then your balls will tell you when its time for the kiss. Make sure it is a short non-tounge preppy kiss at first then get into it. That night you might only get a good make out but a couple days later you'll be scorin like crazy.

__________________

(Rolls eyes) Oh brother. This place ain't changed a bit.

Are you doing "How-to" books now metal=life ? Or just fantasies?

And for dick tapping, does it matter if your circumsized or not? Not that it matters to me but someone else may be too shy to ask.
Yeah, right.

__________________

i don't know how you wouldn't eventually cut yourself trying that. well maybe if you used protection. it'll still be sharpfully painful

__________________

Hmm, maybe invent a condom with a pick on the end instead of a reservoir?? We could make a mint !!!

__________________

AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Do mint condoms exist? I have "assorsted colors" one and the gay old man ones that are white ond overlubed.

__________________

i dont know if its just me whose lost or didnt lbxx mean mint by creating our own type of condoms not actually condoms with mints in dem, if im wrong say so cause looks like metal=life got a bit lost


dont even make her a song, just play an existing popular song and that should do the trick, its the thought that counts


GRAVE

__________________

I'm surrounded by maroons. No wonder Walpurgis stayed here so much. You guys are fun to play with and make ME look smart.
"Making a mint" was referring to m-o-n-e-y. Not mint-flavored condoms!! I meant putting a guitar pick on the end so you wouldn't 'wound your wazzoo' . (I hope I don't have ta explain that.) His brother said there are flavored condoms to prevent spread of disease orally which actually makes sense. I guess hookers use them a lot. His old g/f used to work in an Adult Bookstore type thing.

Hmm, maybe if you used flat wound strings instead or round wound it wouldn't be so painful. But did you ever find a little burr on a string and cut the hell outta your finger? Imagine what it would do to Mr.Happy !! And what about bass players? That's some strong stuff !

Heehee , man, I dunno. Wally's dad was standing behind me reading my initial comment and asked me what the hell I was talking about. He looked a bit bewildered when I told him . I don't know why.

__________________

All bass-players have big dicks. It's a condition to be a bassist.
So it isn't that hard to pull the strings.

finally! somebody understands............

__________________

Ooooooooooooooooo the B string feels goooooooood

__________________

ya can also try drums

__________________

tsk tsk tsk, just smash it with a hammer and sing like a goddess.

__________________

Just play sum Slow BLS stuff. Like "Bridge To Cross" or "Lost Heaven".

__________________

it has been scientifically proven that bass players have small dicks, so i beg to differ with wat u r saying

__________________

hehe

__________________

Then guitarreros have to have dicks longer than 25 cm.

OK I GOT IT!!

1) dick tapping would hurt...Alot. It would hurt to get pleasure from her (RIBed FOR YOUR PLEASURE!)
2) learn that damn guns n roses song...uhh what is that called uhhh november something.
3)If you are trying to impress your girlfriend to the sack play gay bar from electric six LOL!!!!
4) "Now tell me do you have anymoney? I want to spend all your money...AT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR!!" dodododdede do dede do. Ok LOL
5) NOVEMBER RAIN! thats it so learn that and sing along like axel rose to it lol

good luck and dont cum so daMN early this time lol jk

no, play nothing else matters!!

__________________

That will work thats an easy and its supost to be a romantic song acording to James.