Is that not the best saying?

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If you like closed-ward prison and arse-raping, sure.

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hahahahaha

"You can be famous and never know what talent is" is a better saying I Reckon

yeah i finnaly got my p's lisence, yay for me

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Im going away for band camp today. 6 days of playing bass, eating, watching movies, and listening to music. Now dats what I call a band camp.

If they are old enough to crawl, they are in the right position.

Did you know the legal age of sexual consent in Canada is 14?

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any girls sticking flutes up their pussies?

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And this one time at Metaltabs...

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no but lets just say there is a guy that will stick a flute up his pussy

"let he who is without sin try to survive."

seven is one of my favorite movies!!

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Doctor?

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fuck kids.

--i was sitting here at my computer, putzing on guitar, listening to Van Halen,
when these two little kids walk by my window. they see me, and know i know
they're there. so what do they do, they "sneak" to my front door, ring the
bell, and then ran like hell across my yard. "oh jeeezus christ, i didn't know they were there, maybe i'll go answer the door..."
fuckin' idiots. they ended up doing it once more, but this time they must have
wanted something, because they knocked and waited like 5 minutes until
they must have realized that i didn't give a fuck.

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get a paintball gun and some marbles...

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Im going to put that in my signature....

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funny thing to say in this RTT

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http://www.outwar.com/page.php?x=1416331

Has anyone else played Outwar??? Click this link, dammit.

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die.

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hahaha, dumbasses wrote a letter in crayon about a car wash tomorrow.
it was stuck to my door.

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Im going on 5 days today...5 days! Im not constipated because I don't have to poop. But today if I dont shit by 10pm im overdosing on laxitives.

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I shit 5-7 times a day on average.

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I haven't gone more than about 3 days since i was 10 years old. 5 days isn't good....laxitives all the way bro!

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good luck Darko

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Ya, after 5 days I would be worried to.

Back to back episodes of the Simpsons are on in 10 minutes. Sometimes life just rules.

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Im not a doctor... but i'd say thats pretty fucking unhealthy...

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god damnit guys i really didnt want to know that

i mean if record how many times ya actually shit in a day you serious sad basterds.

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darko, fuck the laxatives, get an aenima, right now, quick.

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I asked my doctor a few years ago about it, and he said it was completely healthy. In fact, it lowers my chance of colon cancer latter in life. Yay!

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i'd be embarrassed to get an aenima. Especially if the doctor is a hot chick.

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bowel movement habits should be discussed in an open forum.
maybe these guys took that sentence too literally, but still.

and we're a big happy family here man. it's customary, no, your duty to tell us about your embarrassing health problems. another example besides Darko, is when Doctor "had a TREMENDOUS itch" at the bottom of his nutsack, and scratched too hard.

so yeah.

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GREEN INSECTS!!!!!!!!!!!
Eyerwhere, everywhere. Therse fucking little bastards.
Green fucking fast insects with red "antennas". God Dammit. Everywhere. I killed about 20 in the last 30 minutes.
In can say i'm a rpo in insect killing with my finger tips. They don't have a chance anymore, although they are really fast.
But the worst thing: They stop on my monitor. On the monitor i cleaned today. It was cleaner than any sterile instrument for surgeries. Yes, it was. There are everywhere small dots of insect-organs on my monitor.
I'm in the mood to kill every small organism mother earth produced to annoy me!!!!!!!!!!!


BTW I'm not on drugs.







Better?

hey poldi, decrease the amount of exclamation points in "green insects". it made the page all horizontally big, now we have to use the horizontal scroll bar, which sucks ass.

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Poldi, that post made me laugh.

One time I had this strane pain in my testicals and I went to go get it checked out and the doctor was a major M.I.L.F!! She had to put some wierd gel on my balls and scanned them with a odd looking device. I poped half a stock but some how managed to keep it thier. Oh man, I was just wishing she would jump on my cock..but it never happened. Of course I was only like 14.

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Thanks darko. You have officially killed my appetite. Good work.

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Haha, yeah that's pretty funny darko.

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if this is an open forum, .....i'd like to say that
i mastubate on a regular basis.

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am i the only one to realize that we as a group have a resemblance
to Married With Children?
we hate each others' guts, but when a outsider comes to spam, we
stick together and kick the dude's ass outta here.

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dibs being al bundy

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hahahaha.














Masterbation rules!

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i'm straight edge, so i don't do drugs or drink alchohol, but i will tell you, one of my addictions, is jacking it. But right now i'm trying to go a month without jacking it. So far, its not going to good. Being summer and all, everything on TV is super sexy and shit. And yes, i did just start it today.

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I don't think there's too many guys with a high tolerance for not masterbating.


Well actually, there's one reason why it could happen.....you've got a hot girlfriend who gives it to you whenever you want.

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You need to eat more fibre. You're probably living on cheese and beer, you Eurotrash surrender monkey.

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Masterbation has been medically proven to help you live a longer, healthier life. No matter what your situation is, man or woman, it is always good to take matters into your own hands every so often.

Trying to go a month without it is pointless. It will accomplish nothing.

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Sure it will. It'll make him pissed off, sexually frustrated and walk funny.

Hey, this is cute:

"Many Presidents have lied. Eisenhower lied about the U2; Kennedy lied about the Bay of Pigs; Johnson lied about a lot of things, including what he would do in Viet Nam if he were elected; Nixon lied about just about everything; Ford lied about his promise to pardon Nixon, (but it wasn't much of a lie since no one believed it); Reagan lied about the Iran Contra conspiracy; George I lied about broccoli (but then I come from broccoli country), Clinton lied about Monica, and now George II turns out to have lied about the reason we invaded Iraq. And everyone is surprised?"

Har.

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LMAO!

Yeah, I eat very badly. Truthfully I havent had a full fruit or vegstable in about a year and a half. My diet concists of cerial, fastfood, meat, chinese food, and dr. pepper. I'm American dammit!





What did George say was the reason for Iraq?

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i had a friend that went a year, no joke. He said when he finally touched it at 12 am the 1st of the year, he came immediatley.

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I've NEVER beaten off in my life. Really.

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yeah right....

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Shut the fuck up, cuntmunch.

And I shit once a day, or maybe every other day.

Good times.

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Hell yeah... all pork-pullers raise your fists and yell.

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i feel so much better after taking showers.

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Man I remember jacking off at a school dance this one time. I was about take a piss when this prick
came in the bathroom and started makin fun of me for no reason like he usually does. So I started jacking off to a brief sexual fantasy then I shoved my hand right in his face and ran like hell hahaha

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it's kids like you that i made fun of when i was in middle school.
haha.

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thats either made up or you are a sick fuck...

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Total lie, don't even try to defend that. All guys do it, there are NO exceptions (amputees aside).

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I know a guy that has crippeled/deformed hands and he still paints the cealing.

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i knew a guy who went to summer school, just last year this was, and he'd sit in the back of the room, behind the other kids, jack off to this hot teacher, then give her a hug, whiping it on her back everyday.

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couldnt she tell?

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no, she was outragelously stupid, and cum dry's clear, so she prolly jsut thought it was something the chair did.

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Thats bs.

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i agree... whats with all these fucked "stories" haha all bullshit

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What the hell are you cumming? It's white, looks like a deodarant mark.

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haven't you guys ever seen dryed cum? it doesn't matter how white it is, it'll dry clear, and just get sticky.

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Depends on what surfaces...but on dark linen or something it leaves a white residue.....not extremely white, but it's there.

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ya know, i think ya'll should stop talking about semen.
it's disgusting.

i can't wait till tomorrow for Kalmah's new cd!

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Sometimes I jack off while I'm eating...the cum really adds a lot of good flavor

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they are very fucking talented, cant wait

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You're such a lefty queer.

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going long periods of time without jacking it is bad. you can get a prostate infection 'cause of bacteria and stuff piling up all up in there. ejaculation cleans you out, so you oughtta do it at least once every two weeks. waiting a long ass time fucks up your prostate, that's why older dudes get prostate exams, they lose their sex drive, and stop jacking it, so their shit gets fucked.

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i didn't know that
wow.

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ain't that the truth

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6 days and no stool... My mom is buying laxatives today.




Sugar Ray takes it in the ass. How dare they put Eddy on thier bass drum!

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hopefully you wont explode before then....

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I think THC is like a laxative. Every time I smoke down I have mad shits.

*hits joint*

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darko, aenima, immediatley.

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i tried out 3 guitars yesterday: Ibanez Jem, Epiphone Zakk Wylde, and Ibanez K7.

Jem: Excellent guitar. very easy to play, great feel, nice action, i loved the tremolo, and it sounded great, you could get a nice blues tone and even a nice chunky metal tone too. But i can't judge the sound that well, i was playing through a Line 6 amp modeler (which emulates really good amps). D'oh! that really didn't give me a good idea of how it sounded ('cause one turn changed the sound drastically). i wanted to get a good opinion on the Evolution pickups, 'cause i'm gonna buy pickups for my RG570 that's coming soon. It played really sweet though, if i go to that store again, i'll play it again.

Zakk Wylde: This wasn't the real deal, it had the bulls-eye design, but it was black and beige, not black and white. it also had passive Emg-hz's instead of the active ones. (i'm not sure what the model was called). It sounded very nice, but it's neck was too fat for me, plus it lacked other features that i like: 24 frets, tremolo. it had nice tone, though. I also felt it lacked in the gain dept, maybe it was the pickups or the amp (this time i played it on a Marshall). One thing i noticed and liked though, is that when you strum, you can feel the strings "spring back" under your fingertips, it's kinda hard to describe.

K7: i wanted to try out a 7 string, and Sam Ash only had this, and another Ibanez Ax7. i decided to try it out, what the heck. i played it, and it was in Drop A for some reason...on top of that, out of tune. so i tuned it up to B, tried playing some stuff on it. it was kinda hard, not having the fret dot inlays to look at (there are no dots on the fretboard only an obnoxious K7 inlayed at the 12th fret). i had to look at the side of the fretboard, i'm not used to doing that. plus, this guitar only had 1 volume knob, you couldn't get much versatility out of it. I also couldn't get it to crunch in the lower register for some reason.
i tried doing some 7 string sweep arpeggios and chords, problem with that was i didn't know any shapes!
i forgot to try out the U-bar tremolo system on it, i wanted to see what that was like, but i forgot, woops.

and then i walked out of Sam Ash with a new Korg chromatic tuner and 6 pack of Dunlop Jazz III picks.

i went to Sam Ash after i went to Guitar Center. i walked out of that place in 5 minutes. You could not believe the suckiness of the people playing there. Mentally handicapped people in wheelchairs could sound better than them. Except for this one guy playing a Blue Jackson, he shredded, but it was sloppy. However, he kept showing off like he was gonna become the next Steve Satriani.
one dude was trying to play 3chord pop-punk on an expensive Epiphone. sounded terrible
2 dudes (probably in the same band) looked like metalheads (one had a shirt that said "JESUS IS A CUNT" in big letters on the back of his shirt), grabbed some "metal" guitars (b.c.rich, one with skull paintjob etc..), and played some garbage with that too. I mean, real garbage. one of them was trying to learn how to do a pinch harmonic, with the volume all the way up. seriously!!

plus, that store sucks, i was with my friend, he was looking for a Bass amp, no one asked us if we needed help, they just kinda stood there chatting. The "Bass" guy was nowhere to be found.


so the moral of the story is, Steve Vai rules, and that Guitar Center sucks.

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I like guitar center.

I just downed two laxatives. Theres no turning back....

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Go into Guitar Center, grab a Jackson and get on a Marshall Mode 4 and play sum 41 or nirvana with loads of gain, hah, the looks people give you...then rip

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Alright then, I see alot of people on and no one saying anything.


How is everyone today?

i like it too, it's just the one in that particular location that sucks ass.

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Fuck! Did anyone else get a view of Slayme's "tub girl" link before he changed it in that spammers thread? I will likely never be able to have an erection again. <------- Most appropriate use of this smiley. Ever!

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You've never seen tubgirl before? Geez, i think ive been tricked into going to it at least 5 times... that and goatse.

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Hehe, sorry Chad. I tried to take it down as soon as I saw that he had viewed it but I guess I was just a bit slow on it.

No worries man. At least that sad excuse for a sentient being clicked on it.

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im lovely

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Just keep telling yourself that.

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why do i have to keep telling myself im lovely, when i already knew that.

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Whats the "tub girl"? Tell me before I go searching google. The laxatives didn't kick in untill about 10 hours later (probably due to the big dinner I had). I was walking home and had to haul ass for half a block and took the biggest shit of my life. I feel good.

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it's about frickin time!

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Haha, finally. That's good to hear. Go Darko!

i can't sing.


whoa, i worked out my back, and damn it so sore, it like pops out.
i look so big.

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I'm trying to get in shape but its going slow. My workout today consisted of puking my lungs out 6 times this morning. (too much vodka last night). Good for your abs.

My puke looked so cool. I think I'm dying. I puked out stretchy strans of blood and some black colored intestines. I looked closely and they were all shredded up and looked mucusy and rubbery. And there were like red strans of blood wrapped around each shredded piece. Its hard to explain so I'll post up a pic tomorrow when I puke. Its gotta be that DXM shit. bad bad bad.

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two words: projectile diahrea (sp?)... or something similar. On a similar note, take it easy on the laxatives.

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heh, i ran for 2 hours today, and i don't feel a thing except fatigue.

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two words : dumb cunt. seriously now, stop taking that SHIT. if you want a buzz smoke a fatty.

I know...I haven't done it in a long time. And most stores around here took it off the self anyways. All I need are dank nugs and golden cap shrooms.

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or a golden cap of oil

words to the wise... dont get a tattoo on your hand... it fucking hurts... alot... ahhhh

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eh, i don't even like tattoos.


I GOT KALMAH, SWAMPSONG!!!!!ahhhhh, yes...

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how is it?

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