Not really, but now that I have your attention --

There is a minor issue that needs resolved due to the fact that some people refuse to share what they have willingly, and need to be horsewhipped and hogtied in order to make them do it. Thusly goes it when trying to pry birthday cake from Paddy McStingy. For all these years he's refused to give any of us anything but a hard time and that was only a very limp hard time. This year I think that if he wants any birthday wishes I think he should quit being such a dolt and cough up the cake. On second thought, if cake was anywhere near Paddy's hands who knows what else it was near and I think I'll opt out of the cake. I'll just wish you a happy birthday, Paddy. Maybe that fitj will make it to you for Christmas if the tater man doesn't steal it. Thanks for all the entertainment, ya gaelic miscreant.

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Geez oh pete, Paddy!!! Just read the darn thing tomorrow and blame it on my senility!!!!
I'm going to cry in a corner now.

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You're a day early! Granted, "arriving" sooner than expected is kinda my modus operandi, but I'm not that fuckin' bad.

On the plus side this means that I'll have my own thread this year instead of having to share one with that insufferable limey bastard John "I Secretly Masturbate Over Pictures of Wayne Rooney and Don't Know My Times Tables" Mansley.

And let's be honest here, I'm a fucking big shot; I deserve at LEAST one full day of birthday preamble. This thread is like the soup of the day and tomorrow will be the main course of beans and sausage sammiches.

Haha I like the subtle PST mention in the thread title, despite the fact that I specifically requested that no Jews attend my sweet birthday shebang.

Oh alright, you can come, just don't shift your shape or try to steal pocketfuls of nibbles from the buffet. And yes Chris, there will be watermelon smoothies as requested. And no Dylan, you're not invited. Everyone else is. Especially Dystopia. He's kewl.

Fanx Bobbers

How can a ginger have a 'birth'-day when everybody knows they're the product of spores given off randomly during periods of high stress by other gingers that develop into gingers with the appearance of a creepy 11 year-old kid? It's like having a birthday for a mushroom, except creepier.

This, by the way, is why you should murder gingers in their sleep. That way they won't spore and give us more of the bastards.

The bad weather speaks for itself. It just has to be a ginger-birthday otherwise I couldn`t explain the apocalyptic weather out there.

I love you.

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Cheers to Paddy, my main argument since many years as to why opening European borders is a spectacularly bad idea!

Edit - by the way, considering the timing, I think this is your birthday song.
http://www.box.net/shared/kvd7f8nfh3

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umm

happy birthday dawg?

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Man, that would be great cranked with headphones. Mesmerizing.

Paddy, didn't you know it's not just a birthday party, it's a bris? We have to have a token there at least.

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We don't use that potato man anymore. His potatoes were of inferior quality.

I don't think I talked about him on the forum before, so for those who are wondering: there's a guy who delivers potatoes to my house in a big blue van. He doesn't deliver anything else. He's the potato man. I sometimes wonder why people are so opposed to stereotyping because I've yet to hear one about the Irish which doesn't ring true.

I've never met a ginger who didn't have a bellybutton, unless of course they have one stamped into their gut during childhood as a means of ingratiating themselves into human society, which is of course ridiculous and racist and precisely the kind of bigoted rhetoric the typical shape-shifting Jew is renowned for, so your spore theory doesn't seem to be supported by empirical evidence plus your mama's a fatty fat fat.

Even if it were true killing these spore-ridden gingers safely wouldn't be nearly as complicated as "waiting for them to sleep"; you simply have to use your Jew laser eyes and encase them in a Han Solo-style carbonite block.

The biblical weather isn't because of my birthday, it's because the sexual congress between me and PST's fat-legged mama last night was foretold by Nostradamus in his little known book, MICKRENOMICON!

You think border laws will stop us? That's like making a law which states that it's illegal for my farts to enter the nostrils of anyone who happens to be within the fallout region; it's physically impossible. We'd just ooze through your border fences like that liquid metal guy from Terminator 2.

I felt kinda bad laughing at this, because I was certain it was a joke until the guy replied to me in the other thread!

My main man with the plan D&Q! I've been tallying up all of the civil replies in my birthday threads over the years, and you're currently top of the list of non-cunts. When I die I'm leaving my collection of bottled farts to you. Enjoy them sparingly, unless you wanna prematurely join me purgatory as I await Bobbi's 5,000 prayers to bump me up to "first class".

Fuck, that's only a Catholic thing...well, even though I'm an atheist I'd still say Catholicism is the best option. Free sex, booze and biscuits, can't go wrong.

The only woman who'll ever get anywhere near my cock and balls with an edged weapon is that Asian lassie from the movie Audition. That bitch can do whatever the fuck she likes to my meat produce.

Happy Birthday, Cunt

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Ironically "cunt" is the one gift I won't be getting. Well, I'll be fucking your Wesley Snipes-looking sister as I do every Wednesday, but in terms of getting pussy that's actually less legitimate than if I just stay at home and rub one out to the sound of my own weeping.

Cheers mucker

Ya senile ole punk, you explain the tater man and now they all know that we converse elsewhere, but did you explain the fitj? NOOOOO!!!

I babysat a little boy with no belly button about 25+ years ago. He was not ginger. (He had a hernia as a baby and surgery sewed it up.) But he's about the same age as you, Paddy. No accent, but he wasn't quite potty trained so that could very well have been....... nah, not a chance.

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I will scream your name tonight as I ejaculate into the roof of Richard's mouth. Sure I might get punched in the stomach for it, but my mom taught her children how to take a good hit in case the condom breaks.

Happy mushroom ginger day!

I love (parts) of you!

And fuck you, Amadeus. Once I figured out what the fuck LBX was blabbering about my first thought was to give him that song as his birthday present.

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Oh alright:

Fitj is "fuck in the jar". Bobbi promised that she'd send me a jar packed with chopped liver for my birthday. At first I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with it, because I'm an innocent wee fella, but the dirty bitch informed me that I'm supposed to gently heat in the microwave for about 10 seconds with the lid still on so as to preserve the juices, and then I was supposed to take it out and...well, I can't even say it because it's too disgusting. You're a sick woman, Bobberina.

That argument didn't work for Josef Fritzl and it certainly ain't gonna work for you.

Interestingly I'll be screaming "Jumanji!" when I cum over the grave of my murdered son on the anniversary of his death which is coincidently the same day as my birthday. Perhaps coincidence isn't the right word to use when I was the one who smothered him with my ballsack in a horrendous snuff movie-grade tea-bagging.

You're not a bad lad, Dylderson. Not a bad lad at all. You may come to birthday party, but you can only stay for 15 minutes.

OMG, Paddy, can't you remember anything? It's "fart in a jar." What you said is physically impossible, but you're welcome to try if you want to.

Dyl'? Blabbering? I'm so hurt.

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Dude, Paddy, olives. Not liver, that's the poor man's food-fifi. Olives.

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Olives?? If I wanna fuck something that feels like a collection of stewed eyeballs I'll go over to Iraq and stick my dick in a school.

/satire.

Holy fuckmonkey, I got a birthday email from MT just now. That's never happened in the 6 or so years I've been a member here.

AMAZING!

Wait, wha? You got the e-mail and you're still... I mean... OK. Who the fuck was responsible for uploading the complete package before sending? If everyone had just been doing their frikkin job it should have an expert forensic team a week just dig out the "Enter" key he obviously used in the above post. For shame!

And great minds think alike, Dyldo. This is, in other words, a most disturbing coincidence.

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i luv u

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Day late, but many cunts I wish to you

Funny how much attention you've paid to the belly-buttons of a group of people you claim to despise, and totally not be a member of. Unfortunately, by that level of proof most Barbie dolls would also be birthed, rather than manufactured, by dint of their having belly-buttons. Is Bart Simpson also born, rather than drawn, since he has a belly button? Or is it not only possible, but dead simple, to imagine a set of circumstances under which an object designed to resemble a human being without actually being one might include non-functional QWERTY-style remnants of the genuine article?

It's funny that Dyldo's pretending he doesn't scream out 'PADDY' every time he cums. His mother told me so, in gratitude that I demonstrably do not have the same ejaculatory tic.

The thing about Barbie and Bart Simpson is that they're not living organisms. Their having bellybuttons does, however, prove my point even further; even when creating fictional characters/toys the artists tend to give their creations fake bellybuttons because it makes them more relatable as humans which, traditionally, have bellybuttons.

I don't despise gingers, but even if I did that wouldn't preclude me from knowing anything about their anatomy. I despise women and blacks, yet I know they all have pussies and willies and anuses, mainly from watching pornographic basketball tournaments and fisting mama PST in the gut-mouth.

I rest my case upon your face.

There's nothing disturbing about two cunts having similar cunt-faced ideas.

Ya pair o' cunt-faced pissanuses. COMMUNISTS!

This is more like it!

I love you too, Moe B. Moe B dick in my mouth.



Haha you're actually right on time, the thread was started a day early!

Cheers man

Sorry, tots. I'm the secretary of the local section of a liberal-conservative party. FAIL on you.

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So is this Paddy's birthday thread or have a just stepped into a Freudian bombsite?

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True enough, but there are only about 70 billion examples of camouflage (i.e. an organism taking on the primary characteristics of another organism in order to imitate it for some advantage) the likes of which I described in my post occurring in nature. It only makes sense that something that imitates a human being would take the time to imitate all of its characteristics, and nature has always proved a more perfect artist than dollmakers and cartoonists.


Well, no. That was my point. I said it just above your post. I also said it right before this second quote.

No no, it's pronounced "dirty commy bastard party".

You would know, what with you being a shape-shifting reptilian from outer space. Also, your uncanny impression of a heterosexual despite all evidence to the contrary adds further weight to your position, as do your fat legs. However, to accord such ingenious genetics to a fleet of bog-trotting gingers by way of dehumanising them is the equivalent of asserting that Iraqis are allergic to oil so it's actually beneficial for all involved parties that we take it from them; it's a straw man argument and doesn't stand up to scrutiny when I use my Scrutinator 5000, £39.99 in all good spy shops.

Even the species-mimicking monster from the documentary The Thing was detectable as a monster by administering a simple blood test; you think gingers are capable of outfoxing hundreds of years of medical tradition? I put it to you that gingers are human and necessarily have to have been born and necessarily have to have belly-buttons I thank you.

Your point was that according to my logic Bart Simpson must be considered human because he has a belly-button. My point was that although he's not human the fact that he has a belly-button shows how inherently human we consider the possession of a belly-button to be. Art imitating life, in other words. These artists recognise, perhaps unconsciously, that a bare-bellied character which is intended to resemble a human would be a bit weird. All of this was in aid of my main argument which is that if gingers have belly-buttons they are definitely human because it's an inescapable and inherently human trait. Beyond cosmetic tinkering or fanciful fantasies of fantastical genetic mimicry there's not much chance of a ginger's belly-button being anything but the result of its 9 months spent in the womb of a ginger woman or a non-ginger woman who was fucked by a ginger man or both.

Aha! How do you explain that? You say gingers can mutate and take on the characteristics of other species, yet we know that gingers can fuck non-gingers and successfully impregnate them! If you can provide an example from nature or indeed the movies which shows that a species mimicker can actually inseminate another species (as opposed to turning their bodies into hosts, a la Wiggly Scott's Alien) then I'll accept that all gingers are non-human and that I am a fat ginger with balls like orange candy floss even though I'm definitely not because you are and by reading this sentence to the end you are agreeing that you regularly molest disabled Downs syndrome children.

Happy real birthday, Paddy.

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Dude, P, that thing in your mouth... Dyldo hasn't been feeling very well lately, has he?

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Fanx maw. I got your jar of liver today. I didn't have the heart to put my willy into it, so I've just been using it to moisten shut envelopes to save on saliva.

Ha! Dylan wishes he was as well hung as a party whistle, although his cock does curl up into a scroll formation when it's not fully engorged. Now, if I had a picture of a birthday cake with a candle on it that would be a different story.

Obviously seeing as how it's MY birthday it wouldn't be a normal candle and would instead be a 14" signal flare, but you get my point (you wish you'd get my point).

Desperation.

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Hey if you cheapasses are sharing birthdays I'm sharing posts.

UNLESS YOU ARE RELIGIOUS,
OR SOMEONE PATRIOTIC,
ALL THOSE OTHER HOLIDAYS ARE PRETTY IDIOTIC
SO I CELEBRATE MY BIRTH,
AND WHEN I CAME TO EARTH
EVEN THOUGH I HATE MY LIFE I CELEBRATE MY BIIIIRTH


DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
BIRTHDAYS ARE AWESOME
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
BIRTHDAYS ARE AWESOME
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
BIRTHDAYS ARE AWESOME
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
BIRTHDAYS ARE AWESOME

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Wolfie, you rawk.

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You always know just how to make my dick hard.

Once again, my point was that an imitation of humanity needs to include a belly button to be believable, and therefore pointing out that something has a belly button is a specious proof of its humanity, as any good imitation - or even as shitty a one as Bart Simpson, who has skin the color of lemonade and four fingers on each hand - would of necessity include a belly button. You are parroting this point back to me as an objection. You continue to reiterate my point as though you're making a different one without even understanding it, and in the process are just showing how much you agree with me.

So cut that out you fucking navel-gazing ginger. I hope your birthday was AIDS.

In this context art imitates life, not the other way around. A cartoon drawing doesn't carry any proofs of our biology, except that it's drawn to replicate our biology just enough that it resembles us and can be identified and related to as such. In other words, Bart Simpson having four fingers or massive white eyes with black dots on them doesn't cast into doubt the conceptions we have about what a human looks like; it's a caricature of a human which has certain key human features to make the the image work (a naval being one of them). The implication of your point is that we should consider Bart Simpson - a non-organic effigy - as much a genetic mimicker as what gingers allegedly are, and if not then you haven't really made any point at all. For Bart's loose approximation of humanness to in some way prove that gingers aren't necessarily human is just as unsound as to say that a curtain temporarily assumes or mimics human genetics because it sometimes looks like it has a face when it moves a certain way in a certain light, or that human faces aren't proof of being human because that particular feature is "mimicked" by clouds thus robbing it of its inherent humaniness.

Organic creatures/bacteria is another matter, but that's what we're debating. Well, it's what I'm debating, I don't know it is you think you're doing.

I challenge you again with my massive challenging gland: if gingers are mimickers, why is it that they can impregnate non-gingers? And what other established mimickers have that same facility?

My birthday was lovely and wasn't AIDS at all. If anything it was handjobs.