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View Poll Results: A Scanner Blackly: Race by Democratic Decision
Black with an insatiable thirst for other people's bikes 5 0.00%
Pasty and ginger with rotten teeth and a penchant for the quivering pink anuses of young boys 500 0.00%
Lynch him and let God™ decide! 7 0.00%
Regardless of race, his sexiness is divine 0 0%
Fuck Dyldo, PSJew, Mansley, and Paddington 23948734984 100.00%
"Chris Rezendes" is an anagram of "sucks much cock in alleyways" 69 0.00%
P.S. I love you, Chris 1 0.00%
Is this a pimple or a boil? 0 0%
If you can read this you're a cunt 0 0%
Honk if you love Chris! 0 0%
Polls are fucking pointless; 72% of all people know that 0 0%
Vote for this one to win a prize - a dedicated MS Paint drawing from Paddy! FUCK YEAH! 0 0%
I have cancer 0 0%
Voters: 23948735566. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
Old 2010-06-26, 11:53
Paddy
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Toasted on One Side

Make up your fuckin' mind already, Chris. You can't have it both ways any longer. You're either with us or you're with the terrorists. So decide! Are you a half-baked dark knight or an overcooked Irish stallion? Can't choose? Well, let's see what the regs have to say about it. POLL ME! POLL ME 'TIL I BLEED!

Oh yeah, and happy birthday you sexy fucking sexalicious sexer from the planet Sexmong. Fuck, I just realised you're younger than me by about 6 months. Well, guess which one of us is gonna die first, ya hypertension-havin' motherfucker ya!

 
Old 2010-06-26, 12:18
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Amadeus
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Once again, Pads says it all. Have a good one.

Oh, and I'm not entirely sure what I just voted for, but it had lots of words and was written by an Irishman. It's the right way to the future.
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Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
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"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein

Last edited by Amadeus : 2010-06-26 at 12:20.
 
Old 2010-06-26, 12:35
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Gomli
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Happy Barfday man! !
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2010-06-26, 12:54
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
Oh, and I'm not entirely sure what I just voted for, but it had lots of words and was written by an Irishman. It's the right way to the future.
Ahhh, I see you've read the Mick Manifesto! I was particularly proud of the section which outlined my plans for the gradual reintroduction of slavery over the course of 220 years, so by the time it was in full swing no one would notice, not even the slaves themselves! A similar plan was drawn up which would see in the cultural and social acceptance of paedophilia, but I thought it would be a waste of time given the fact that 220 years from now all of the world's paedos would probably be bricked up inside the Vatican.

Incidentally, you voted for Chris to become a fully fledged Irishman, complete with his own freckled ballsack and beaten wife. You made the right choice, because Christ knows the world needs more Irish people. Which is precisely why I voted for option 2 as well. Join us, Chris! JOIN US!

Gooble gobble, gooble gobble, one of us, one of us!
Gooble gobble, gooble gobble, one of us, one of us!
 
Old 2010-06-26, 20:53
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Nothing like a Paddy for making any thread - any type of thread you could possibly think of - end up being about something about monkeys. Monkeys in hats. If I could, I'd teach you to write Swedish and post when given a special, appropriate key word (such as "Attack!" "Charge!" or "KILL!!!"), chain you to a computer in dank, dark and mysteriously smelly cellar beneath my server and have you post at irregular intervals at my forum. The political debate could use a jolt or twenty around here.
__________________
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
 
Old 2010-06-26, 22:49
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JoeYngVai
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Happy Birthday, with a side of Paddy's wit!

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE: CHRIS.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2010-06-27, 02:09
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Happy Birthday our big sexy Blaxican.
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Bitches, Hoes And Corn Rows.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moe_blunts
you done told me lots of thangs bout beer n shit and canada. have a grand ol cunt of a good time.


RIP moe.
 
Old 2010-06-27, 03:16
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Why would anybody ever vote against lynching? I'm going to go in and change everybody's vote to pro-lynching. I'm not sure I can do that, but I'll goddamn well get it done, you can rely on that.

You know, most of your beloved snakes and lizards don't live past 26*. Must be a pretty good time to just curl up and die. Just sayin'.





*I realize that many do, but suck my dick with your herpetology. And your mouth. Mostly your mouth.
 
Old 2010-06-27, 06:54
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Amadeus
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I never voted against lynching, I never voted against lynching. Just for that he should be an Irishman. You know, make the whole one-dollar-per-blood-drawing-bullet-business more socially acceptable in 2010.
__________________
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
 
Old 2010-06-27, 17:06
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Chris Rezendes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE: CHRIS.

But there should be so many more! For everyone's sake!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
You know, most of your beloved snakes and lizards don't live past 26*. Must be a pretty good time to just curl up and die. Just sayin'.

This is true, but my longer tenured prisoner has only served an 8 year sentence so far. Granted, she was already an adult when I got her, but not an impressively large one, so she probably has a good 5 years left in her. I actually have no fucking idea what I'm going to do with all these animals when, eventually, I'll have to move away for grad school. Since I hate dealing with problems, I pretend it isn't one, and it won't be until I actually have to deal with it. Isn't that a brilliant system?

I voted lynch because nigars are niggardly and nobody wants to be Irish, ESPECIALLY the Irish.
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Old 2010-06-27, 17:09
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Dyldo
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Congratulations for involuntarily being born. This truly is a remarkable arbitrary milestone. I just can't stop celebrating.








JUST KIDDING CUTIEPANTS! HAPPY BURFDAY!
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i'm so bonery
 
Old 2010-06-27, 23:57
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Chris Rezendes
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[teenager]It's not my fault! I didn't ASK to be born![/teenager]
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Trust in god, he'll give you shoes!
 
Old 2010-06-28, 23:26
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L,B'XXX
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Chris, you're one of the sanest people on here. Work on that would, you? Or was that Woodhue. At least that smelled nice.

Paddy, are you reciting lines from your movie again?
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2010-06-29, 02:42
Requiem
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Have a good one Chris. Even though I don't believe you're black.

 
Old 2010-06-29, 08:22
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Def
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Lynch the black man!

Best birthday present you can give him
 
Old 2010-06-29, 13:24
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
Nothing like a Paddy...
It's amazing how that single-letter word can transform an innocuous sentence into something dripping with racial and stereotypical overtones. You almost make this thread seem less objectionable by comparison. Almost.



Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Paddy, are you reciting lines from your movie again?
The Irishing is still in preproduction, so I'd rather not discuss it publicly just yet, but rest assured there will be midgets riding monkeys in hats.

Well Chris, the votes are in. Looks like you're Irish from here on. I'm so very, seriously, massively, uncontrollably, monumentally, epically, biblically sorry. On the plus side the great people of Massachusetts no longer have to hire private security for their watermelon patches. That said, watermelons going missing in the night seems insignificant compared to what you'll be doing to my neighbour's kids when you move here. Oh yeah, pack some Speedos and a balaclava.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who participated and especially Dielbold, the company who provided our vote-counting machines. Without these fine machines our efforts to ensure the smooth running of this totally democratic poll which wasn't fixed at all would have been in vain.

Chris, brother, there has been a Chris-shaped hole in my heart for years which has now been filled. With Chrisness. Merry Chrisness one and all!
 
Old 2010-06-29, 14:20
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Gomli
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I`d still go for the lynching
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2010-06-29, 15:49
Amadeus's Avatar
Amadeus
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Only "almost"? Damn, I got some work left, then.
__________________
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
 
Old 2010-06-29, 20:13
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
I`d still go for the lynching
The traditional method of killin' an Irishman isn't lynching; you gotta infect his potaties with Taytie Sickness™. Here's a quick run-down of how to effectively destroy each of the world's main races:

Irish: Taytie Sickness
Whites in General: Other races who're jealous of our obvious superiority
Asian: SARS
African: Lynching, or necklacing if you're in a festive mood
Arabs: Beheading
Ruskies: Beheading by Chechens
Chechens: School bombs and air-strikes
Aliens: Will Smith
Whatever Vin Diesel is: Michael Jackson

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
Only "almost"? Damn, I got some work left, then.
Yeah, you didn't even mention child rape, potatoes, alcoholism, terrorism, stupidity, superstitiousness, male chauvinism or indeed sex offenderism! My friend, we have much to discuss...
 
Old 2010-06-29, 21:01
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L,B'XXX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
The Irishing is still in preproduction, so I'd rather not discuss it publicly just yet, but rest assured there will be midgets riding monkeys in hats.

No, no, no. Pay attention, gooble gobble. I meant Freaks.

I never thought I'd see Speedos and baklava in the same sentence. *sigh*
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2010-06-29, 23:03
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Ahaha, okay, please PM with how you changed the poll results.
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i'm so bonery
 
Old 2010-06-30, 00:28
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
No, no, no. Pay attention, gooble gobble. I meant Freaks.

I never thought I'd see Speedos and baklava in the same sentence. *sigh*
Oh, you mean that 1930s documentary about your family? OH SHIT I WENT THERE, then came back here because it was all weird and freakish with little pinheaded men in skirts and a human pillow rolling a cigarette and such.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyldo
Ahaha, okay, please PM with how you changed the poll results.
I don't know what you're talking about.

PM sent.
 
Old 2010-06-30, 21:15
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I lol'ed at the 500 vote count.
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Bitches, Hoes And Corn Rows.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moe_blunts
you done told me lots of thangs bout beer n shit and canada. have a grand ol cunt of a good time.


RIP moe.
 
Old 2010-06-30, 21:26
Amadeus's Avatar
Amadeus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Yeah, you didn't even mention child rape, potatoes, alcoholism, terrorism, stupidity, superstitiousness, male chauvinism or indeed sex offenderism! My friend, we have much to discuss...


And... and... and... just yesterday I... I... cuddled a kitty cat. A real, purry, white kitty cat. The meowing, pink nosed kind of kitty cat. It's still out there. I didn't even nail it to a church door. It's haunting me.

When I get polls, I'll set up votes on members' race and rig the result too.
__________________
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
 
Old 2010-07-01, 09:21
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I voted "Fuck Dyldo" - it's what he would have wanted.

Birthday greetings, snakeboy
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Red Sparowes - At the Soundless Dawn
 
Old 2010-07-01, 16:05
Gomli's Avatar
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honk
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2010-07-01, 22:27
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
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honk

I was gonna pick the MS paint one but I already have Padartwork. The woman with the raccoon gittin' stick and a hairy cuke one.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2010-07-01, 23:06
Dyldo's Avatar
Dyldo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnmansley
I voted "Fuck Dyldo" - it's what he would have wanted.

Birthday greetings, snakeboy


Eternal love.
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so bonery
 
Old 2010-07-02, 18:03
Paddy
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HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK

I gotta go stock up on mature cheddar; my honking gland is all dried up.

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