Stole some money from Dyldo too. Awesome.

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Boy, you best be kiddin'.

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lol.


i r.


goin to post office tomorrow

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**notes -remind hubby to contact post master general in Texas**

lol Are you mailing a cow paddy to him?

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Oh fuck me, is that how it is? When someone steals something it's now going to be referred to as "doing a Paddy"? Well, on the bright side it's marginally better than what the term means in my town...ahh Uncle Pat, why the fuck did you have to cum on so many pastries?

Or were you just gloating about the fact that you sucked off an Irishman at the swimming baths? It's not like you're the first to do so, am I right Bobbi?

BAM BAM!

Tis but a tease, a tease. I love you paddy.

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I want you to fill my bowels to overflowing with your salty sea-monkey brine. I want you to dust down my balls with hot ashes and press heated tacks into my nipples. I'd very much like it, moe, if you were to spit on your knuckles, slide yourself in elbow-deep and massage my internal pooh-glands until they weep enzymes which dissolve the shit-scum under your fingernails. I'd like it even more if you were to gently slide a glass rod down my urethra and then strangle the shaft of my cock viscously, shattering the glass within. Then I'd like the both of us, together, to retrieve each tiny sliver of splintered glass with a pair needle-nose pliers and a Krazy Straw™. When the retrieval is complete we slip the pliers down deep inside my stiff cock and violently spread its jaws open as wide as they'll go, allowing mushy, bloodied lumps of minced gristle to ooze out steadily in thick, gushing ropes which smell faintly of tuna.

I love you, moe_blunts, ya silly old fool.

ahahaha

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We all steal money from Dyldo at some point in our lives.

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"Theft" implies that we take without giving anything back to him. I consider the money I've stolen from him to be a tax on our friendship, a friendship I would characterise as a burden and a perpetual source of misery and limp erections. With that in mind, Dylan is the real thief; who in their right minds would consider "$30 here" and "$15 there" to be adequate payment for this 24/7 Retard Patrol? He's a hope sponge - wherever he goes he absorbs the life-force of those who occupy the same space, leaving them in a state of spiritual limbo in the Land of the Wailing Shadows, and I wish him several forms of cancer for it.

Die, Dylan. Die at the hands of an adept serial killer who owns a big vat of acid so that we never have to attend your funeral. Die, and do it quietly.

Yours, always and forever,
Chris Rezendes Ph.D.

+1

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Paddy, when you get to be 50 - if you live that long - and start getting colonoscopies I hope you remember back to your posts on here and banter while you're coming out of the anesthetic. I may be dead by then, but I may make a ghostly appearance just for the hilarity.

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Fuck, you're optimistic!

Of course, I am! I want to be old enough to be a problem to my kids!

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Oh wait....

Are you trying to take Dystopia's thunder?

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Aaaaaaaaaand scene!