A man from sunny England who excels in mathematics and accounting... A man who also claims to reside in Northern Ireland and specializes in agitated midget studies.

For the ease of birthday celebration, John Mansley and Paddy have been combined into one person.... Manddysley. Regardless of how they feel about it, the decision is well thought out by the Official Metal Tabs Community and is final.


Happy 27th Birthday, Manddysley!

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Manddysley can use his mathematical, tactful mind to rape twice as many midgets now. Such efficiency in the rape world really is rare.

I commend you two fine gentlemen.

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This is fine with me. I'd like there to be fewer of everybody.

I hope one of you got drunk and the other had sex with somebody around 4'4. I don't care which.

Cheers, fellas I'm actually 28 but I'll happily take 27!

I shall be obtaining a state of inebriation tonight during the Liverpool-Debrecen game so I guess it's down to Paddy to molest a midget - preferably Shaun Wright-Phillips - in unspeakable ways. Have a good one with that, Paddy!

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Aaaaaaah, I see what you've done with the age! Very good

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Hahaha! Thanks man, and many happy returns to my favouritest neighbour, John

The Manddysley shall rise again!

I'm not sure what you look like John, which is why Bill Cosby has taken your place in this artist's impression of THE MANDDYSLEY!

Thank you kindly!

It's not the quantity but the quality of the midget that counts. Anyone can walk into a circus and fuck a midget when it gets fired at your cock from a cannon, but it's the Verne Troys of this world who are the true prize of the midget enthusiast.

For about 2 or 3 minutes Chris and I became one person, until he withdrew and sobbed for 35 minutes, as is his custom.

I didn't get drunk, and I didn't fuck a midget, but I did get high on gasoline fumes and finger a landmine victim. Close enough, I'd say.

Shaun hasn't been talking to me since I gave him chlamydia for his birthday, the ungrateful cunt that he is. I had to dip 8 Thai ladyboys to get that shit, and at £4 a pop, too!

Enjoy the game, chief!

Cheers guys!

Paddy I`m gonna rape you so hard

and Happy B-Day @ John BRING US PINTS OF BEER!

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My anus is burning! Not because of infection, but because it knows you're talking about it.

Cheers guys!

Mansley, enjoy the Liverpool game!! I hope Kuyt does well

happy bday guys

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Happy boobday!

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Thanks lads!!

He's in a bad run of form so he's due a goal or two!

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Ahahahaha

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Birthday blessings and tortures to both of you!! You can sort out who gets what.


Paddy, you're another year closer to 50 now! lol

The dog thing from Neverending Story was Falcor. I loved that movie!

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I was happily working my way towards old age until I met you - now I plan to commit seppuku with a meat cleaver on the eve of my 50th birthday.

The NeverEnding Story was my first real brush with the crushing disappointment which has been so prevalent throughout my 26 years, specifically as the credits began rolling and no one around me seemed to mind. I had a similar experience when I heard that Mission Impossible II was being made; it made me realise that the original mission wasn't quite as difficult as I had been led to believe. I have an idea for the title of the 4th film in the franchise - Mission Impossible IV: No, Seriously This Time.

Hollywood can fuck off.

DAYUM! What a day.

Have a good one guys.

I think I'll ask for a landmine victim to finger for my next bday.

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Happy Birthday fellas!

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Happy Birthday gentlemen!

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A good one to the both of ya!

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He is fucking wank. Even in our national squad. A joke like Babel....

I hope you won't have to go up against Ajax in the UEFA cup, or whatever it is called nowadays. Because Ajax would rip you a new asshole at this moment. They are on fire. I think it´s funny how Gerrard said that they just need to win the UEFA cup now.

On another note, I love English soccer but you guys have a serious problem when it comes to managing your own talent. Only Wenger seems to do it right at this moment? Please John, show your insights on this subject. (or better yet, join me for a beer in Utrecht for a CL game, I can provide a place to sleep/breakfast, no biggie)

You're such an ass.

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I think you'll find it's pronounced "sexalicious motherfucker".

Thanks for the shout-out, everyone

HOLY SHIT, you are old. Do you smell like bengay yet? I bet you can't remember where you put your keys if I put you on the spot, can you? Filthy codgers make me sick. The only thing worse than a fogey is a scouse fogey, I say. Well, except for Paddy. Paddy is definitely worse than any elderly thing, even if it IS Liverpool.

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Wenger gets a favourable press over here for the simple reason that he plays the "kids" in the Carling Cup. We played Arsenal in this year's Carling Cup and we fielded a lot of our youngsters and reserves, yet it was Arsenal's "kids" who dominated a "nearly full strength" Liverpool. Bullshit. We played them off the park for large portions of the game and it was only when we had to chase the game that they did anything of a fluid attacking nature. If all these "kids" are so marvelous why have they not won the Carling Cup in all the years that Wenger has been there?

The press will selectively call the likes of van Persie (yes, even 26 year old van Persie), Diaby, Song and Fabregas "kids" even though they're all over 21. Furthermore, they're all "a product of Arsenal's youth system", whereas the likes of Insua and Lucas for Liverpool are "bought in by Benitez to plug the gaps of a failing youth system". Manchester United also get favourable treatment in this regard despite not bringing any home-grown youngsters of real quality through since Beckham, Scholes, Giggs and the Nevilles.

Wenger also doesn't come under any pressure in the media. He last won a trophy in 2004 but no journalists will question his position. Benitez has won the Champions' League, reached another Champions' League final, won the FA Cup and finished above Arsenal for the last two years since then, yet it is Benitez who is put under the microscope by the media!

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I think they're still in my front door!

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Hahaha! That's fucking awesome!

I feel like a bastard for being late on this one I haven't been on here in a while.

Happy Birthday Paddy and John Hope you both had a great day

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