i just am gonna give a link to a funny website i found while looking for goth metal bands

http://www.i-mockery.com/Metal/

i found this to be particularly aamusing since i love to make fun of the D&D obsessed bands............

a lot of black metal insults here.......

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Perfect.

that page is fucking stupid ...an insult to all Metalheads...

oh yeah now I remember Gigantic Penis isn't one...

what claasifies being a "metalhead"??? i listen to metal music, but i dont prance around in a forest with a sword like those guys on that site. please do tell............

personally, i think the bands on that site (except for dream theater, that insult on them is fitting, but rather senseless) should be beaten. cmon, look at that cover for the Manowar Anthology, seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???? and those black metal bands with their swords and axes, its pathetic............

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well yeah the Manowar shit yeah... that's gay ... I don't like Manowar tho so I don't care...

and about the Black Metal bands with axes and swords pathetic for you not for Black Metallers...

everybody with their own... what they like... Black Metallers like Swords and that so let them be same as you say with D&D bands ...what the fuck do you care ? ... if you don't like them don't listen to them that's all

you still have not explained the "GP does not like metal" comment.......

my view on BM bands is that it is retarded, plain and simple. Dragons are not real. We dont need to arm ourselves with swords and axes and pretend we know magic for when Cocksuckus, the demonlord returns to enslave us. Remember that thread slayme made with the losers playing real life D&D? those guys are no different!!!! the prance around with weapons and pretend to cast spells...... its gay, bottom line. do any of those guys even know what a girl is???


mods, perhaps its off topic, but it is still an interesting discussion, so please keep it open...................

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naw dude it's not the same as that stupid video

Black Metallers don't go around claiming to know magic and shit...
when do you see them outside with swords and shit ? ... it's just for the album or promo pics dude...

and fuck for you BM bands are retarded not for me... everybody has different opinions and tastes...

or would you like evrybody to like the same shit?

That site insults all that's stupid about metal. Especially people like Malphas. Anyone who gives two shits about being True and all that other club mentality nonsense. Anyone who plays with swords in their twenties to make the music better. Playing in the forest will not make the music better. They prove it by recording black metal, and largely shitty, puerile black metal. And not listening to it is not enough. I dont listen to it, but I'm still aware of it because of dumbass cunts who hero-worship these mental midgets. I'm glad Varg's on there a few times. Holding a mace! Ooh, menacing. Like every other dumb fuck on there. Even if it's for press photos, it's retarded. It has a root in their music, too. And their fan base. And if their fan base is retarded, as they've proven to be by eating up this bullshit, the bands themselves are retarded by association. You, Malphas, are retarded. Thank you for proving it here. If you think it's impressive that people name themselves after characters from mythology or Lord of the Rings and pain themselves up and go in the woods and play with fake swords, even for a few minutes, then you're retarded. I'm sorry, but it's true. If you dig the music it's one thing. If you dig the lifestyle it's something else. I like a lot of bands I wouldnt go out and praise or emulate.

And nothing on that page insulted me. I guess I'm not a metalhead. Everyone has the right to make fun of someone who never grew past twelve mentally and hides behind being a metalhead as a defense. That's sad.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

NO-ONE IS CLOSING THIS THREAD ANY TIME SOON!

Oh my God - some gems! GEMS!

"Medical metal with an optional dental plan!"
"www.hamsterdance.com"

That is fantastic.

Metalheads we may be, but something more important to life is the ability to piss off anyone who takes themselves too seriously... and people who wear corpsepaint and call themselves "Grak" instead of "Steve Thompson" are definately in that category.

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Exactly.

I like Devin Townsend, but I don't appear naked on album covers.
I like Crowbar... do you see me eating a truckload of burgers?
I like Propaghandi but I AM NOT A FUCKING VEGETARIAN

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I think Malphas has a problem with the big picture, which that website is able to see. It points out all of the petty, stupid and ridiculous labeling that "real metalheads" have been so obsessed with since it's creation. Will addressing this do any good? Nope. "Metalheads" will continue to be bullheaded idiots, intent on dwelling in their own fabricated genres, eternally attempting to seperate themselves from the pack.

How DARE they poke fun at Immortal?!! Seriously, it wasn't even witty. Why would anyone who likes black metal be offended by it?

Because you're all stupid little sheep who take the shit seriously,Saint. Obviously people have been offended by it. Lord Malphas has showed us that. That you said "How DARE they poke fun at Immortal?" proves that you did too. That even the thought of someone making fun of a grown for wearing makeup and going out in the woods with swords is incomprehensible to you proves that your are exactly the type of person who SHOULD read that site. Is it stupid itself? Yes, but much less than what it makes fun of.

If you cant make a joke of people who take what you enjoy to too far an extreme then you're just a charicature yourself. If you cant realize that these people are a hopeless parody of the dark imagery of metal (and one that doesnt even realize it's a parody, no less!), then it just says that you're just as much of a joke and a distortion.

fucked up site

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fucked up thread

I'm guessing that was directed at me...

That site is pretty fucked up, sometimes it's funny, sometimes rather pathetic.

some shit on that site was kinda funny. but just the same can be done with any genra of music today. look at rap, punk, pop, country. all of them have stupid things they do to stay true to their roots. no one complains that every male country singer wares a 10 gallon hat. yet they seem to keep buggin BM bands about the corpse paint.

Quite a site...

well a pretty cool site, most of the things they say are actually true.

not all ofcourse and they do over-react a bit,
but that's why it's called MOCKERY

Why is it so hard for people to respect eachother´s music style?!

I listen to most sorts of metal, but I love BM. I don´t go whining to other guys like: `why are you listining to Death Metal? thats gay...´ and you know why?? Because we ALL listen to METAL! Thats the most important thing.... I don´t care if you feel like wearing corpse paint, or carry an axe.... we all love metal!

Why don´t you guys fight the real `enemies´ like Rap music or pop music, not your own kind!

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You're missing the point dude, read PST's first post in this thread. Read it until it sinks in.

that quote makes you what that site is insulting. Metalheads whose entire life revolves around metal, and who consider other genres to be enemies........

if people wanna play D&D and have interest in that stuff, fine.

however, there is a line that many people cross. a good example is the people who get in full costume to go see a premier of star wars. This is exactly the same with these gay BM bands. you may like the music, but the image for many BM bands has surpassed complete retardation.

on that site, did you see that picture of Byron from Bal-Sagoth holding the sword and giving a mean look? it had the caption "When comic book geek gets violent"
what is Byron thinking???? he may think he is keeping dragons and demons away with that sword, but the only thing he repels are girls and his chances of ever getting laid..........

and once again, WHAT THE HELL IS THE PROBLEM WITH MANOWAR????? even if you are obsessed with that stuff, why would you pose in loin cloths on an album cover???? the funny caption was right, it looks like a gay porno video cover......

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My guess is that Manowar were ego crazed maniacs... one of they're songs is called "Kings of Metal". They;re talking about themselves and how great they are. Also the reasoning of that cover was probably how the "Im too sexy for my clothes, Im too sexy for my book..etc" spawned.

Also I have nothing against them.

The pictures on the site with the captions were pretty good[well, most of them were]. I seriously laughed out loud on some of them...

That Iron Maiden guitarist staring at the giant robot guy's crotch was great...


I'm reading the hate mail...and I can almost guarantee that some of the people that have sent them hate mail have been here posting at one time or another

PST why the fuck am I retarded ?... just because I don't like what you like ?

oh yeah here you have to hate Black Metal to be "cool" but if you like Black Metal that labels you "retard and gay"

I don't understand why you guys think there's so much separation between the black metal and death metal people around here...you know, most of the time the only people that trash black metallers are PST and slayme, so why get all bent out of shape over it anyway?

I've always thought black metal and death metal were pretty close except the context of the lyrics. Like black talked mostly about fantasy, and death was more about satan, death, raping virgins[I was joking about the last one], and other things related to it.

Deeath metalea ruioles and blacvk metakel sucks, well ex pocetp for dimmuu borgirer

Damn drunk


I'm just posting this so people can see that tatter3d and I are on at the same time and on different computers, and that's not just me using his account or something, lol.

I actually like a lot of black metal music that I've heard, the only thing that I sometimes can't deal with is the vocalist, especially Dani Filth.

Yeahe dude yoruuit tota;l;yu onbm my accoint||!

try lord belial out

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From what I remember, none of my friends ever had a really really big plastic axe and a "come fuck me Daddy" scowl... Am I a bad person? I may well be "the wrong kind".

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the reason you seem like an idiot is cuz you are saying dumb things that the site makes fun of. You said I dont like metal, just because i can respect some numb-nuts wielding an ax and singing about fantasy adventures in the land of Nevergetlaid. You are upset because I look at bands like Immortal and see nothing but geeks and losers. Well, thats what they are!!! The only people that would think they are cool, are people like you, who respect them (a very small population indeed). You are retarded if you look and some BM singer named Lord Satanus Hethenus, who carries and ax, and sings about D&D battles in a forest and you say, "I respect him, he is cool" You are not retarded for being a fan of BM music. If you respect Byron as being a cool guy, you are a loser and a geek, bottom line.

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Guys, you're all focusing on a few genres, I was talking about the whole enchilada. The big picture, remember? Now, go back and re-read some of those earlier posts and really think about them, don't turn your brain off halfway through it.




GP - Dude, I was at a city park today and saw a huge clan of people in full D&D style battle gear. Shields, swords, the clothes, fucking everything. They were choreographing these lame, ridiculous battles, so naturally I had to take some pictures. When I get them developed I'll scan 'em for your amusement.

ah hahahahha, were they filming something or was it just for "fun"?

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dude Gigantic Penis I may seem like an idiot to you but not for other people that like the same things as I do.


and BTW I don't respect people just for their looks ...I respect them as musicians they are... music that I enjoy listening to ... you may not like it but I do so just stay with your stuff and shut the fuck up.

I don't make fun of the music you like so don't make fun of the music I like.

No, how about this, Malphas. Let them make fun of whatever the fuck they want, and you can grow a pair of plums and take it.

Don't wear some bullshit music label on your sleeve man.

i wish i was there, i would have gotten a megaphone and said "Attention geeks...(well I'm sure you know the rest). One time, a guy was at the premier of Lord of the Rings in full Frodo gear, and the security wouldnt let him in cuz he brought a sword. Do you ever watch the Conan O'Brian show? Did you see the episode when Triumph visited a movie theater on the opening day of Star Wars 2?

Malphas- You are rather hypocritical. you say to respect genres etc., but you seem to refer to my tastes in music as being "gay" all the time. Apparantly cuz I like metal with keyboards and goth/techno metal (Tristania, new Kovenant) and not music where a bunch of losers prance around in a fantasy land, that makes my music gay. I think your music is more gay though, my guess is that those bands haven't had a social conversation with a girl in years. Also, you say that you respect the fairy prancers with their axes and spells, but the only people that respect them are each other. the rest of the world, especially in the U.S., looks at them as being geeks.

Malphas, no offense, but what you are saying leads me to ask this, have you ever dressed up in D&D gear and went to a movie premier?



So if Manowar made good music, you would respect them??? i dont care if Manowar was better than Nightwish and After Forever combined, I can never respect those cock jockeys that have album covers that look like gay porn videos. The need a group session like an alchoholic gets when his friends want him to become sober. Manowar needs D&D detox. or the can just be beaten, i'd be happy with either.

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thats quite true

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I love Conan, but unfortunately I missed the Episode 2/Triumph segment.


As for Malphas, just re-read my above post. I'm done with this thread for now.

maybe I should rephrase it to everyone who is in touch with reality......

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Heh, no, just let it ride. Ignorance is tough to beat down.

what's wrong with dressing in armour?
yes, i agree that its gay to prance around slaying invisible
enimies, but wearing the shit i think would be cool for halloween
or something. maybe even getting dressed up just so someone can
take a picture of you. i find it hard to believe that there are people
out there who dress up in armour just to fight evil spirits. i think
they do it just to look cool, just how black metallers wear corpse paint
to look evil. let them be. i think i'm going to prance around with my
sword pointed out, just to piss you guys off.

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you should read the earlier posts, cuz you are missing the point. There jackasses in the bands, are guys that like D&D, so they incorporate it into their music to the extent of being retarded and showcasing a lack of talent. They like to reinact D&D scenes. They are the guys you see stading in line to see Lord of the Rings in full costume. They live in a fantasy world where they are cool and strong, and bullies and girls dont exist.

want to know whats wrong with dressing in armor? look at a picture of Oscar Dronjak, you will see..........

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Galder from old man's child looks cool in the one picture of him with armour
on. he's not a D&D man, but i agree with you about the dudes that totally deck themselves out on it.

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aahhhhh, hahahaha, i didn't think of that. i've never seen someone sooo gay
looking, if any of you want to see the bio/pic of him, here's the link, hahaha

http://www.hammerfall.net/band/oscar_dronjak/

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Yup, sometimes though - the hatemail part of the site is underestimated. Haha.

===============================
Comments/Questions:
ardvarks have no place in death metal.
===============================
You mean aardvarks? I suppose you're right. Maybe that's why we haven't seen any fronting a metal band lately. But you should be worried, for the prophecies say, "thou shalt fear the day thy metal becomes defined by a rap/rock hybrid... for the aardvarks shall rain down upon thee with the fires of hell!" Pretty scary stuff huh? Looks like we're all fucked. Damned aardvarks...

hahahaha, oscar's hilarious

but i agree, to put it simply, black metallers write about satan and stuff like that because they like it, power metallers write about D&D and fantasy because they like that. and the armour and stuff? its just as bad as corpse paint

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GP I have a question:
-Whats wrong with D&D, armors and medieval things??

Malphas like that, good for him, I also like that. DO I CARE FOR WHAT YOU THINK OF ME ?? no, seriously i dont give a fuck. I play D&D sometimes, its funny, and i like it. I dont go to show in armor(i'm not obsesed by that) But if bands wants to show they like D&D and running in woods etc, they can

WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE OTHERS?? I think techno and rap is gay. thats me. people will still like that

btw, dont throw shit at Lord Malphas dude, he's a nice person. maybe he dont like what you like.

Some things are funny in this site, BUT lots of things are very pathethic IMO

LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!

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There's so much rubbish in this thread.

If it makes another 10 posts I'm posting my full opinion.

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I call your music tastes gay because you always call mines the same...

and no...it's not the keyboards...I like keyboards ... I even play keyboards

and no I haven't dress with that shit you say... I don't even like D&D I just don't make fun of it as you do.

and dude stop saying that Black Metallers are gay and shit and never have sex with chicks ...what do you think there are no girls into BM ?...well there are and I know some...so don't say shit.

and one more thing ...name me at least 5 BM bands that lyrics are about D&D...

Alright, only 1 picture came out and it's a tad far off in view, but you can clearly see...

Attached Images

costumedcockknockers.jpg (77.6 KB, 56 views)

You do realize that it's kinda pointless, you being all irritated about something like this, and I bet half the reason that they put up the site is to be an antagonist...

Lighten up man, it's not that big of a deal. Not like anyone here can affect what you listen to, so who gives a shit?

yeah ... from now on I don't give a fuck what others say/think

I told you the same fucking shit, Malphas and it took you how many pages to realize?

Maybe it just took a Nazi to make him see the right side of things...

shit I didn't get it ...damn english

Varg?


Oh, you.

Malphas: When I called you, or anyone else, retarded, it had nothing to do with what music you choose to listen to. I could give two shits if you like black metal. It's out there. Someone has to like it. That someone happens to be you. Fine. It's that you think that liking black metal inherently makes you cool. And you dont see a problem when people take something (in this case, the dark imagery inherent in metal) to a ridiculous length. That you cant see that it's a parody of things mentioned in the music. If someone cant separate fantasy from reality, then like the Lighting Bolters, they should be laughed at. Sure it's just for a picture, but the live D&D cunts only do it rarely and for short intervals. It doesnt make it any less laughable. If Chris Barnes went around getting pictures of himself fucking corpses, he would be ridiculed. First arrested, then ridiculed. If Trey Azagthoth bit his wrists until they bled so he would get inspiration from the Sumerian gods he writes about... oh shit, he did that. And I'll make fun of him for it. I have every right to make fun of anyone taking anything too far. And if you cant see that people becoming a parody of an idea is humorous, if you take that seriously, if you cant take a step back and laugh at yourself: then you're retarded. Sorry. There's a MASSIVE step between liking the music and not seeing when it's taken too far. If you cant see that, it's a problem.

To whomever said we should direct our mockery against our 'enemies': The fact that you call it enemies pisses me off. Enemies? It's music, you cunts. It's recreational. The only 'enemies' I may have are cunty idealogues who think that there's some struggle between music genres. Metal is NOT struggling against rap. It's not like people are sitting there, thinking "You know, if I didnt listen to Nas, I would DEFINITELY listen to Immortal." Do you think that's how it is? I hope you dont. So how could they POSSIBLY be competing? They're not. What music you like is underground by definition. sane said it, and it's true. That you take it seriously enough to consider unrelated musicians 'enemies' in ANY sense of the word is a problem.

For those of you who only focus on the insults, read this: My point is that you should not take your shit so seriously. If you do, you get made fun of, and deservedly. It's that simple. If you're so uptight you cant laugh at yourself: dont worry about it. We can laugh at you. I'm willing to do this, free of charge.

Oh, and I've made myself clear. I'm not talking anymore on this subject. If you want me to: go fuck yourself. And when Penis uses the term "D&D," he's talking about ridiculous fantasy lyrics, cunt. It's just a convenient title for a more general thing.

dude you talk to much.

Same here.

why the fuck do you guys get all up tight because of a guy that made up a site to mock metal? I don't give a shit. I don't feel insulted by anything on that page.

ok, for my respone

1. PST is right about me. i say "D&D" rather than say "fantasy entrenched obsessed etc etc etc." its easier. it has nothing to do with the D&D game itself, just the theme.

2. Name 5 BM bands that uses D&D lyrics?? only one come to mind, Bal Sagoth. However, that website has BM bands prancing around in armor with D&D stuff. That is enough for me to insult right there. I make fun of the image some (thats right SOME) BM bands AND poewer metal bands take, not the music.

3. Here are things I dont have a problem with: playing D&D or any other fantasy game. Although, i believe those games should be played at home, when I am at the mall and I see some people that have set up a D&D game in the corner of the food court, thats dumb.

Here are things I have a problem with: dressing up, using weapons, or doing any shit like cover a dictionary with an old rag and calling it a book of magic spells. ANYONE who goes to a park to reinact or play "live D&D" should be sympathetically arrested by police and retured to the privacy of their parents home.

4. ITS A STEREOTYPE!! that may be bad, but thats how it is. If I see a 35 year old guy reinacting D&D, the first things that come to mind are that he still lives at home with his parents, that he has never kissed a girl, and that he is a wuss.

you will never see the day when someone like that is looked at as being cool. never.

One more thing, to the guy with the "fight the real enemies like rap" comment, what the hell are you talking about? Do we need to unite all the metal fans, and then the power metal and BM bands can give us weapons armor and magic spells? After that, we all assault the Def Jam record building, kill P. Diddy, and kidnap Eminem and try to have the highest BM wizards convert him. Then, all the rap fans will turn to metal!!!!(note the sarcasm)

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hahaha, this thread is hilarious, never close it.
let's keep it going.



lloooks like, someone's livin' in the past....contemporizzzze, man. hehehe
the last time i ever watched simpsons was about a week ago.

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hahahhahahahahhaha


and dudes, its music, its METAL, who cares if they dress up? its not like you see them when you LISTEN to the music.

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Hilarious.

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if everyone pictured Oscar when they listened, D&D would be dead gone.

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huh?


on live shows you see the bands and also in an album insert, which is enough to make them complete losers. HammerFall needs to stop putting pics of Oscar in their cd inserts. Oscar looks like he weighs about 95 pounds.....

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it was a joke, and i guess you didn't get it.
it was the part in the simpsons where the hippie is paying skinner for the
load of newspapers he just recycled. and the hippie says"......"
i said that because Oscar is "livin' in the past."....ya...D&D...... whatever.

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hahahaha, if i pictured him, i'd start cracking up. hahahahahaha

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Um...who's Oscar?

.

Attached Images

oscar.jpg (3.1 KB, 43 views)

Haha, Oh I see...

Oscar Dronjak is the guitarist of HammerFall. The armour he wears probably weighs more than him cuz he is very skinny................VERY skinny.........

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I just tuned into this thread. I looked over the site and was not offended at all. Even though some of the bands I listen too (no not Manowar!) were attacked. I think that there are times when those stupid ass "true metalheads" need to drop the act and turn on their sense of humor. Basically, that site was funny as hell.

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you guys need to loosen up and have some hot cocoa

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[QUOTE]Originally posted by far_beyond_sane


Metalheads we may be, but something more important to life is the ability to piss off anyone who takes themselves too seriously... and people who wear corpsepaint and call themselves "Grak" instead of "Steve Thompson" are definately in that category.


HEHEH THAT'S GREAT

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Slayme have you ever seen Cephalic Carnage live? I think you would really enjoy them, while playing black metal sabbath they put on masks that have corspe paint, but the mouths have extreamly big grins, also heres a funny clip about there music and there funny satire on black metal that i think everyone should view. - http://lametaltv.com/index2.html its episode number 106 at 17:30 seconds.(local 30 mins metal show that airs late night), i think what they are saying is really summing up this hole thread, some people take shit just too seriously, where have everyones sence of humor gone? I think that really takes away from the music. Its one thing to feel for music, its another it be and ignorant, self-obsorbed, ego satistic fuck about it.

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