Alright, this is Bobbi's game (L,B'XXX for those fortunate enough not to know her in private life). She and her friend used to play this game on the phone, and I think it could translate well on the forum with a few tweaks and a few rules introduced. It will undoubtedly bring a lot of joy to the lives of you, the participants.

One of us (me, in this case) gives a series of instructions which you, the artist, must draw in MS Paint or whatever equivalent you prefer. When you draw your pic, save it as JPEG or PNG and upload it to ImageShack or TinyPic or somewhere off-site. Don't attach it to your post, otherwise it'll ruin the surprise of having them all revealed at once, and others won't be influenced by your attempt (and by that same token don't tell anyone what you think it is, you spoil sport FUCK!). When you upload the pic, PM the link to me, and I'll save 'em all up and post them when I get about 5 or 6 entries and choose a winner with my massive choosing gland.

The person who comes closest to the thing I'm thinking of will get to choose the next item, and the winning decision is purely at the discretion of the person who's "on" in that particular round. It's probably helpful to draw the thing you want to describe first, and to upload that along with the other results

An example, in case it's all too confusing:

Instructions:

1. Start near the top-left of the page and draw a straight line from top to bottom
2. Draw a straight line from the end point of the last line across to the right
3. Draw another line straight up from the end of the last point, making it the same height as the first line
4. Draw a straight line joining the first point of the drawing with the end of the last line you just drew

The end result should be a square, or a rectangle, or something similar haha. The vastly different interpretations of the instructions (which will be more intricate than this, of course) are the most fun part and it'll give the rest of us a fairly good insight into your deep psychopathy. Don't be afraid to use descriptive imagery if the item you're presenting is too intricate for a line-by-line set of instructions, like "a snowman-type shape" for "the number 8", or "a spunking midget wizard" for "ice cream cone". Just don't make it too fuckin' obvious!

I'm sure this will need tweaked and updated, but we'll work out the bugs as we go along.

OK, the first set of instructions are as follows:

Instructions:

1. Near the centre of the page draw a somewhat thick ellipse, the length of which should be horizontal, like a coin on its side with the far side of it raised a little (that is, the side furthest from you).

2. From the bottom-left of the ellipse draw a straight line which is sort of veering off to the left slightly, and draw another one just to the right of it, to give it thickness. Join the bottom ends of the two lines together with another short line.

3. Repeat step 2, but in reverse - that is, on the right, veering off to the right. The lines are the same length.

4. The last step is to repeat one of the last 2 steps, but in the centre, going straight down, but not the full length of the other two sets of lines.

Draw it, upload it and PM it to me. DRAW, I say!

should we color it?

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The drawing I've done isn't coloured, but it couldn't hurt to add a lil' splash (of colour) to your masterpieces if you want to!

You automatically get 1 bonus point for showing an interest.

If I`m drawing a cunt.....meh getz 100 bonus points?

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Paddy, on other similar comps the people have at least said in the thread that they're in to participate. Do you think that would be a good idea here, too? At least everyone would know how close to a finish the game is.

And if you make any money on this my friend and I want a cut of the dough or you'll be in trouble. She's always wanted to go to Ireland and we'll kick yer butt.

Gomli, no.

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Why?

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If you draw it with menstrual oozings you get 150 bonus points and a free wank.

Yeah, good idea! We'll probably find a lot of things that need tweaking as we progress haha. I was just planning on waiting until I either get 5-ish entries, or 2 days pass, or something like that. That way we won't be waiting too long between each round.

Dems is Paddy's turnips!

I've got 2 entries so far, they're both pretty much on the money, and one in particular brought a joyful tear to my eye and a stiffness to my trouser-cabbage

Alright, no one else seems be to having a go, so here are the results of Round 1!

Round 1's Item: http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/7865/stool.png

Chris: http://i39.tinypic.com/r21czn.jpg
Blitz: http://img245.imageshack.us/img245/7214/24703701.jpg

The winner has to be Blitz, but Chris, I'll cherish yours (the pic) always

So, Blitz is up next

I have a feeling this game is dead in the water haha.

Haha mine looks nothing like a stool Looks more like a shitty space craft or something.

I'll need some time to think of what I'm going to do Paddy, so don't rush me toss-pot!!

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I didn't participate in this one because I already knew what the first one was going to be.

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It was the closest to what I drew, so it's good enough!

Haha take your time chief

I wanna play.

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Holy shit mine was awesome. I drew a portrait of Paddy down on the bottom left hand corner, but I guess that wasn't good enough for him.

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It broke my heart to decide against you, it really did. But I gotta be fair, and as much as I wanted this to bring us closer it would have been based on a lie, and I respect you and our relationship more than that.

I fucking love you, big guy. There'll be plenty of time and other opportunities for us to share in/express that love.

Yours,
Patrick.

http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/9408/86793224.png

Still can't think of anything lol

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No, no, it's too late for all that noise. Have fun with BLITZ! YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER!

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Just look around the room you're in right now and draw the first thing you see; even one of your gay dads would do

Me and Blitz, it's not like that. He was there for me to pick up the pieces/chunks when my rectum spontaneously prolapsed whilst watching "My Three Sons". The guy thinks there's something more to it, but there isn't. He just won't fuck off! He's the turd that won't flush!

Blitz, tell him! You just fisted my dripping innards back up inside me that one time, and it was 100% medical. You even had that nurse's uniform on! What more proof do you need Chris? CHRIS?? AHHHHHHHH CHRIS!

Blitz, DRAW SOMETHING FOR JAYSES SAKE! I'm dyin' here, I'm fuckin' dyin'! Plus I'm great and definitely don't prod my sickly, spongy, Swiss-cheese pooh with my ring finger as it bobs around in the toilet.

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/3940/poohsandsuchu.png

^^Haha


Alright, alright... here's the next one.

Instructions:

1. In the very middle of the page draw a triangle pointing up (or an upside-down V... whatever). The bottom of this triangle is NOT connected.
2. On the bottom right part of this upside-down V, draw a very short line that goes up towards the top right corner of the page.
3. At the top point of this upside-down V, draw a line that is the same length as the one you drew in step 2, except this one will go slightly towards the top left corner of the page.
4. At the top of the last line you drew in step 3, draw another line that is half the size of the last one you just did, going directly to the left.


Same rules as stated above by Paddy: upload the picture, PM the link to me, and I'll decide who the winner is after I get a few entries.

EDIT : I forgot to mention that the bottom of this triangle is NOT connected. So it's basically just an upside down V. Please excuse my foolishness... I'm very low on sleep, and at the moment my body is only running on black tea and enough nicotine to kill an elephant

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COOOOOOOOOOL!

PM sent like a biatch mofo bat outta hell

Haha I haven't had any other entries yet. What do we do in the case that yours is the only one?

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I think people are just too afraid to go head-to head with me, especially now that I have cock-rot.

I don't think this game has taken off the way I thought it would haha, maybe after this one we should just call it a day.

I's been an amazing 4 days Blitz, we'll always have that.

Haha, yes... I'll never forget this thread
Have you ever considered getting some of your midget friends to join this forum? It would be a much more interesting place, that's for sure

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I tried drawing what you'd described yesterday twice and it came out the same way both times and was just a random shape. Is there any step that might have been assumed without being stated?

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Well, it's meant to be sort of a logo type thing. It isn't an object.

Some people here probably won't know what it is, but I couldn't think of anything better to do

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I think random/obscure shapes make the game more interesting, because if you're half-way through drawing a commonly seen object you might catch on to what it is and then draw it with the object in mind. When it's a random set of shapes and lines the different interpretations of the instructions will be probably produce vastly different results for each player, because all they'll have to go on is how well they can follow the instructions, as opposed to how well they can draw an apple or the like.

It's all academic anyway, because no one wants to play with us Although us three might be enough to keep it going! <--- I turned my frown upside-down!

Yes what you said about basic shapes being figured out too easily is true. I looked around the room when I was trying to give myself ideas and the first things I saw were a small table, my bass on a guitar stand, and a window... all of which would have been pointless to use in this competition. So I looked around the room a little harder and came up with that "thing" that I decided to use

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Oh okay. Makes a little more sense now.

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Feel free to submit the drawing to me whenever you like. There's no hurry... it's not like this is an extremely lively competition or anything haha

You should have made a better competition thread Paddy Like who has the biggest/heaviest ballsack. Or who has the pinkest nipples. Or who can projectile vomit the farthest

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Uhh yeahhh!
Looks strange but.....uh yeah

KOOL AID BITCH!

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You better not be talking to me! Jim Jones Kool Aid.

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Well I think I've recieved all the entries that I'm going to get, so I guess it's time to post the results.

My drawing.
It was actually the Half-Life Lambda
Anyone here familliar with Greek writing will also know that a lambda is also the 11'th letter of the Greek alphabet, and is also the Roman cursive equivalent of a lower-case 'a'.

Here are the entries (in the order they were recieved)

Paddy
L,B'XXX
Gomli

I declare Gomli the winner as his looks more like the original drawing than any of the others. Sorry Paddy, I hope you're not mad at me

Go for it Gomli! You're next.

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I'll be darned. I don't give myself enough credit. Good work Gomli! Fire one up for us! Paddy, you snoozer.

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Ahhhhhh I knew I recognised that symbol from somewhere. I actually started replaying the Half-Life games recently, too haha.

Ohh yeah!!!!
I`m trying to make something cool...wait for it!

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Haha, screw your head back on duffer!

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I don`t have much time now.
Just let another User make for me...L,B`XXX was better than Paddys

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Just draw something that you see very often. Like a drawing of Paddy getting head from an Irish Wolfhound

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I didn't make one! I just told Paddy how we used to do it and he came up with the first couple and the directions. I was the brains behind the idea and he just rote 'structions.
Just look at anything and make a stick figure design. As you're drawing it yourself make notes along the way of how you're doing it. You'll kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

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Yeah that's exactly what I did when I knew what I was going to draw. It didn't take very long to write the instructions at all.

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I can`t think of something.
And for me it`s hard to describe this geometical figures

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"You can do it, Louie!" Okay, that's so old that I don't even remember details other than Louie was a dog.

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OK here we go. This will be hard for me so please be gently with me
Draw this with keeping your finger on the left mouse button.

1. Draw a V

2. Than you have to make a short line from the right top of the V a little bit into the middle

3. From the ending of the short-line you gotta draw a line straight through the middle of the right "arm" of the V.

4. Make a line straight over to the other side. (180°)

5.Draw a line to the end of the shortline (they mustn`t touch each other)

6.Than connect with the left upper horn of the V
(now let off the mousebutton)

7. In the middle you draw a circle.

Hope this will be something you can draw!
In Love,
♥ Gömlî ♥

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PM sent! Mine's is AWESOME!

I had an idea of what it was going to be, but then when I got to the end it sort of became something else haha.

Shut up Paddy! Yours is not.

I'm still working at it. Okay. Done.

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3 pictures now.
Anyone else want to send me his/her masterpiece?

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If the three you've gotten so far are from me, L,B'XXX and Blitz you can probably go ahead and choose a winner, I don't think anyone else is playing

You muthafuckas don't know what you're missing! PLAY WITH US YOU CUNTS!

FAEN! only 3 entries, whatever.
The original was the sign of the MLO (Misanthropic Luciferian Order). Anyone who knews Jon NØdtveidt knows he was into his own cult an that`s it.

MLO BREEEE

And .....
1.THE WINNER (Doctor)!! Congrats Dude

2.Paddy

3.-->L,B`XXX<-- You failed a bit

Go for it doc

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Mine was looking from a different perspective. :P

Go, Doc, Go!

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Ahhh I'm not pissed about losing to The Doc, 'cause it means at least one other person is taking part!

...you CUNT

hahaha paddys and docs were the funniest.. i'm laughing so hard right now my stomach hurts.time for me to go sleep it off

nuclear rectum bread

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I just haven`t chosen the pic of you Paddy, cause I don`t like penises and midgets on one picture.
Sorry

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So you won't want to be seeing my holiday snaps then?

Nope.
Only when the landscape`s nice

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Okay, next one I'm adding frivolousity to.

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If I had drawn pussies instead would that have improved my chances of winning?

That's not a real word! I CAUGHT YOU! Tryin' to confuse an Irishman with made-up words is against the law! See the "Flibberbobber Precedent" for more details.

Did I spell it? Did I type it? Do you know what it means? It's a word now, sweetcakes!

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In that case, so is Bobbis'a'twat. It's an archaic Hawaiian word which is seldom used today, meaning "Bobbi is a TWAT TWAT TWAT plus Paddy's great and not fat at all."

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM.

For real? You`d have won the next 20 drawings of me and a photo of my boner

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Fuck, now I feel like an ass

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There's no shame in havin' a little nuclear rectum bread. We've all done it. Indeed, was it not Jesus himself who said "let he who has not had some nuclear rectum bread be a cunt about it, otherwise everyone shut the fuck up and get back to making sandles for my sweatshop"?

Haha I have no idea what that means. I suppose it made sense last night after eight bottles of Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout though (10% alcohol)

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Shit, I thought you were just referring to our new, joint-venture comic book hero!

http://i42.tinypic.com/2cmx43r.png

Super Powers:

1. His nuclear aura can cause fatal tumours.
2. He can harness the awesome power of the nut & corn matrix via his host's rectal cavity.
3. Oh yeah, he can move from ass to ass when he needs to, finding new "hosts" at will, and he assumes control of their bodies/minds/digestive systems when he does.
4. His lovely bread smell can help you sell your house if you let him hang around it for a day or two.

Weaknesses:

1. Cannot survive for long when not placed gently upon an adequately moist anus.
2. His nuclear aura makes it difficult for him to sustain relationships with non-nukes (as he calls them) for more than 6 months.
3. Toasters, and indeed any directed heat source, are his Kryptonite.
4. Tastes faintly of shit.

Enemies:

Spunk-Laden Bagel
Electric Fire Man

Friends:

Miss Marmalade
Ass Radar McGee
Mama Loaf

When are we gonna get this fuckin' comic book started Blitz? I've got a tonne of bread-centred scenarios we could write about!

If you haven't already done it make a starter thread for your comic. Quit loafin' around here and rise to the occasion before it falls flat.

Doh!

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The Doc sucks.
Where`s the picture man!?

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C'mon Doc, throw us a bone!

Paddy want's Doc's bone lololol

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Don't get jealous, you're still first in line for a reaming when I figure out a way of getting through customs with my bionic strap-on.

I think we should get the person who came second in the last round (i.e. ME) to do the next one, 'cause it doesn't look like there's a doctor in the house!

...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!

Don`t fuckin talk just do it bitch!

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Whoa! I'm definitely seeing who's the alpha bitch in that relationship!

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DRAW DIS HERE:

1. Near the top of the screen, starting from the right-hand side, draw a straight line from right to left - the left extremity of this line should arc downwards slightly towards the end.

2. About 2/3 of the way across to the right of this line, draw a vertical line coming down from the first line, and the end of the line should arc anti-clockwise, as if the line is making a U-turn and is starting to go back up again. Only make the "return" journey of the line an inch or so in length.

3. About 2/3 of the way across to the left of the first line draw another vertical line coming down, parallel with the second line. This third line should have a very slight clockwise arc protruding out to the left - not as pronounced as the arc of the second line. It looks more like the bottom-tip of the line is slightly bent outwards.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Haha, bionic strap-on

I'm sure you own quite a few peculiar sex toys Paddy.

Probably a few of these.
And maybe one of these.

If you do come here, bring the dog one with you

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I wonder if there's kids in sweat shops making those.


My drawing is submitted.

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C'mon people, let's hustle! Send in your drawings!

FUCK SAKE!

Somehow, I`m to stupid to draw it

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A clue: the instructions I gave are for a very well-known symbol, so don't give up!

Let`s bring this one back.
I`m bored as fuck

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rofl @ the dog one. I think I would die laughing if I tried to fuck that

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It's strange. I remember a time when clicking a link on metaltabs at the very least would elicit a WTF.

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Hahaha I don't think this particular game can be resurrected, given that it was practically dead from the beginning, but maybe we can think of a new one. Preferably still involving childish MS Paint drawings of cocks and such.

Haha I've seen quite a few of these things around, including inflatable sheep and the like, but how fucking desperate and pathetic does one have to be to not have access to real life sheep and dogs? Pet stores are like legal brothels for guys like that (I'd imagine) so why settle for rubber and silicone? A rubber dog won't lick raspberry jam off your ballsack, nor will it push itself onto your cock when you light a fire in front of it.

If you fuck a puppy is that considered paedophilia? Discuss!

Desensitisation has its upsides. For instance, you can now watch Reality TV without shitting clots of bloodied mince.

Actually, I still can't watch reality TV. At all. It's right up there with going upstream against the second law of thermodynamics.

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once I watched an episode of jersey shore on hulu and it was dumb. so am I for watching the episode

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I can't do reality tv. Reality internet is different though. This place is about as real as it gets.

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