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2009-03-22, 01:40
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
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The Official MetalTabs Sex Offenders Register
Happy birthday BASSBEHEMOTH!!!!!!
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2009-03-22, 02:15
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Death to all but metal!
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Highway to the Danger Zone
Posts: 6,026
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xD
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
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2009-03-22, 02:50
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The Mountie From Hell
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Halifax N.S. Canada
Posts: 3,017
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICK!!!
wub u
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Originally Posted by Timedragon
i clicked on time... cause im timedragon
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2009-03-22, 02:56
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: terra firma
Posts: 6,940
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I came in this thread hoping for a congregation of common interest. Have a good one Nick!
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2009-03-22, 03:16
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MotörCat
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 昔昔
Posts: 7,547
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at least he'll be getting wasted on excellent beer
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POW MIA NEVER FORGOTTEN
no one can tell you to turn down your amp unless they're of higher skill or in your band
Why not make shit up as we go-fox
Ok. You're literate, intelligent and funny-FBS
"Calm down, Edgar back in your cage"-far beyond sane
"you suck the cat-avatar-guy doesnt"-The Doc
Now My Legacy Shall Live Forever!!
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2009-03-22, 03:38
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Requiem
I came in this thread hoping for a congregation of common interest. Have a good one Nick!
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It's never too late! What's your favourite kind of sex offence? I personally quite enjoy secretly watching midgets discover the packages I've left for them on their doorstep, which tend to be filled either with an assortment of my bodily squeezings, scrapings and peelings, or a selection of dirty pictures of other midgets in the nude and riding tricycles, so that I can gauge their reaction from my vantage point in the bushes and masturbate accordingly.
I also like to see how many unusual locations I can employ the "Glory Hole" method of catching a free blowjob in. For instance, I once made a hole in the fence which separates the play school from the nunnery, and I tried it from both sides. Unfortunately for me the nuns were harvesting their prize winning meat-coloured cucumbers that day, but I still managed to fire off a gob of jellied-milk - beautifully marbled with dark red blood - just before the paramedics/cops arrived.
I once paid a hooker to use a dildo, which I then took with me to the town. I'd approach people and yell "catch!" and gently toss the dildo towards them, and their immediate instincts would cause them to try to catch it without really thinking about it. The idea was to crack one off before the person became violent. An added bonus was to begin a lovely orgasm just as the person starts to sniff their fingers inquisitively.
I'm not on a register just yet, because being from a Catholic background offences of the penis aren't actually offences at all, but are instead Vatican-sanctioned sacraments of the Holy Church of Cock and Pale Young Boys, but I'm moving to Vietnam next year, so fingers crossed! |
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2009-03-22, 04:06
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Drugged Unholy
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Philadelphia Area
Posts: 2,458
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hahah paddy, man you are somethin else
anyway, happy birthday BB, ya fuckin lush
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Originally Posted by MetalThrashingMad
I don't know about you, but I deadlift because I strive to be the first human tree stump pulling machine  |
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Originally Posted by viewer_from_nihil
the song serial cocksucker changed my life
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Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
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2009-03-22, 04:54
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Okay.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,137
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
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2009-03-22, 04:58
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Noob lud
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Upstate New Yaawwk
Posts: 3,499
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Happy Birthday Dudde!
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9/23
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
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2009-03-22, 07:26
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Vaginal Warts
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: I live in a giant bucket.
Posts: 2,289
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Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'
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Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!
R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten. |
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2009-03-22, 09:24
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Antwerp
Posts: 1,472
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Paddy
I love you.
oh yeah happy birthday bassbehemoth
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So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar
Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs
Quote:
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Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
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2009-03-22, 10:36
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Schrodinger's Cat
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Liverpool, England
Posts: 5,975
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Happy birthday, Nick
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Album of the day:
Red Sparowes - At the Soundless Dawn
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2009-03-22, 10:59
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ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ger., North
Posts: 2,593
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Fuck yeah BB man!
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.
R.I.P moe
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2009-03-22, 13:38
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Die Young.
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Hellifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 8,633
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haha, good job Paddy on the thread topic.
Cheers guys! I didn't celebrate it this weekend, but more than likely next weekend will be a mess.
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Bitches, Hoes And Corn Rows.
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Originally Posted by moe_blunts
you done told me lots of thangs bout beer n shit and canada. have a grand ol cunt of a good time.
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RIP moe. |
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2009-03-22, 16:41
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Too _____, wouldn't fuck
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
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lol @ thread title. Have a good one.
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2009-03-22, 17:42
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Cafe Le Psyence
Posts: 1,023
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Hyvää syntymäpäivää.
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R.I.P. hide 1964 - 1998  <------- PRESS HERE! |
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2009-03-22, 22:11
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Metal As Fuck!
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: LR AR
Posts: 2,680
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Stay away from my niece you perv! 
Have a damn good one!
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R.I.P. Dimebag
My Music
BuildTheMusic.com is your #1 FREE online guitar resource center.
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2009-03-23, 04:25
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,924
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Cheers
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“Remember to live, eat, sleep and breathe music for the mind, play from your heart and never be swayed by the current trends.” ~Rusty Cooley
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2009-03-23, 04:56
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,865
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happy bday big nigga
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Sex is free if you don't mind spending most of your night in the bushes with both a balaclava and an overblown sense of entitlement.
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2009-03-23, 11:07
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Master Killer
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
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happy birthday bassbitch!
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2009-03-23, 12:14
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Die Young.
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Hellifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 8,633
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Bitches, Hoes And Corn Rows.
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Originally Posted by moe_blunts
you done told me lots of thangs bout beer n shit and canada. have a grand ol cunt of a good time.
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RIP moe. |
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2009-03-23, 13:35
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Okay.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,137
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
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Haha they still sell those? I always thought it would be fun to run a deaf persons television and lights through that, then clap when they aren't looking.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
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2009-03-23, 19:47
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Die Young.
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Hellifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 8,633
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haha. Yes they still sell them and my hands hurt like hell from testing it out.
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Bitches, Hoes And Corn Rows.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by moe_blunts
you done told me lots of thangs bout beer n shit and canada. have a grand ol cunt of a good time.
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RIP moe. |
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2009-03-23, 20:09
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
haha. Yes they still sell them and my hands hurt like hell from testing it out.
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LOL I always wanted one of those, so that I could create a kind of strobe effect as I bludgeoned my midget sex-prisoner with a giant rubber cock. |
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2009-03-24, 00:35
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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Maybe they'll let you have that in prison when you go. 
Happy birthday, BB. I hope you have a wonderful year. 
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2009-03-24, 01:04
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Manitoba Canada
Posts: 1,107
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happy birthday man
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fuck i love peaches!
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2009-03-25, 01:59
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Okay.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,137
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
LOL I always wanted one of those, so that I could create a kind of strobe effect as I bludgeoned my midget sex-prisoner with a giant rubber cock.
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HAHA! 
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
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