What are some of the most embarrassing things that have ever happened to you? Like at work,shows,school or anywhere.

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pfft, probably caught beating off

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This does disappoint, i thought it was going to be about massive stinky floaters when you've got a hot chick at the flat.

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Well that has happened to some people i imagine. The worst for me is prolly very obvious boners......


PS:Should i care that people laugh at the fact i have boners?

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Better to get too many boners than none at all

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Most embarrasing shit ever?
Fucking a chick on uppers and her having to tell you that you're not hard anymore... and you can't figure out why!

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Yeah, being too fucked up to get a hard-on has to be the most embarrasing thing i've experienced.

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My friend once dropped a 40oz in front of a cop, but he got away with it. Still embarrassing.

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That shits never embarrased me. It should be completely understandable if you're too wasted to keep your junk up. Here's something:

A few years back a friend and I were hanging out and his girlfriend was over. He was being nutty and kept putting his ass in her face and what not and he went to the bathroom and came out with a mangina (his dick tucked back, Buffalo Bill style) and I snapped a picture of it for kicks. Well, turns out I forgot to delete it off of the camera and, get this: it was my mother's camera.

So a few weeks later, having completely forgotten about the experience I was out for the night and I get a call from home and on the other end was my mother screaming like a banshee on meth. It went something like this:

Moms: "WHAT IS THIS?!"

Me: "Huh? Whats wrong?"

Moms: "Why the hell is there a naked chick on my camera!"

Me: "What are you talking about?"

Moms: "There's a picture of a women's privates on my camera! Are you shooting porn in my house?! NOT EXCEPTABLE! THIS IS DISGUSTING! BLA BLA BLA!!".

Me: (Oh, fuck me)

She literally thought it was a GIRL on the camera (his head wasn't showing)! I then had to make the crucial choice: do I tell her that it was a girl and take the heat or do I tell her it was simply Jon fucking around and look like a flamer (and which would be worse in the long run?). By the way she was acting I knew she'd be pretty outraged that I'd "shoot porn" in her home (as she kept putting it) so I told her it was Jon fucking around (and had to explain how it was done referencing Silence of the Lambs) and she goes: "..well it better be because I would not tolerate that in my house! Its still disgusting you would think this is funny". After a few days she was pretty relaxed about it and joked about it openly with all her friends whenever I was around. Jon refused to come over for about six months. Genious.

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LOL thats awesome

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Or being at a party, and getting so fucked up you fall asleep drunk or pass out when you're on the hunt for cunt and the night was looking promising

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haha yeah, that usually happens when i have the mentality of 'if i get buzzed up good, i'll be smoother with the ladies' and i keep thinking 'just a little more, just a little more' and before I know it, i'm waaay too drunk..mission failed.

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haha, yes that is embarrassing..happened to me a few times. Especially once at 6am while consuming lord knows how much beer and tequila.

My ex-girlfriend shit her pants one time while we were waiting for her mom to pick her up outside my dad's apartment a few years ago. haha, she had to sit in it for a 20-minute drive home.

LOL@ Darko's story.

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You say 'ex'-girlfriend. Is this why? Cause I can tell you a number like that is enough for me to give a bitch the boot. (I'm assuming you meant to include that alcohol was to blame.)

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You just took the title of this thread to a new level

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Got beat up while dressed up in drag,was completely wasted.

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i got piss drunk, blacked out and danced the lambada with my friend's mom, and i also did various other jigs, like the robot, the egpytian dance and the twist. about a dozen people got pictures, and video. i havent shown my face at my friends house ever since.

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I was dogpiled, stripped naked and shoved out a window by an insane gaggle of about 20 assorted Asian women. As you might expect, I was a lot younger and monumentally drunk.

I was highly embarrassed about it at the time, but since them I have come to consider it a wasted opportunity.

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you guys are fags, i never loose any boners while i was drunk....

I lost a boner once; my ex bited me while we were having sex....but she bited me very hard and i had a trace of teeth

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Ouch dude. Which reminds me, never let a girl with braces ever give you a blowjob.
When I'm loaded with alcohol I can get up easy, but any uppers and forget about it, can't fuck worth a shit. DRUGZ R BAD

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you just...cant wanna get sex when you are on uppers....well for me. pot and alcool makes me horny too

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Ladies and gentlemen, we now know what turns Bob on.

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yeash alcool turn me on even if you are a total queer covered of shit with a t-shirt of the face of the singer from twisted sisters

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haha, alcohol was not to blame...she wouldn't want to use my bathroom in my small apartment in case my dad could hear/smell it...so she held it in.

My current girlfriend shit herself not long ago too, but after a heavy night of drinking. She was on the computer with her legs up on the desk and something on teh netz made her laugh..

I sure know how to pick 'em.

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Some weird-ass fetish right there...
My ex-girlfriend had braces and blew me. ><

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LOL@mardraum did your pubs jammed in her braces?

Bassbehemoth loves scat, you know, thinking that she shit her pants makes her loose charm points!

Another embarassing things: I was fucking my girlfriend on the couch in the living room, this living room is in the ground floor, and her parents came, one minute later and they would cought us in action...

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You haven't drank enough under the proper circumstances perhaps.

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Ah, here's one:

So my ex-girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie after we had played hide the sausage an hour or so earlier in another room. We had just gotten a new puppy (GIZMO!) and as he could hear Mother coming home (I think most of my stories happen to involve my Moms) he ran to the door to greet her.

Moms: "Hey Dylan.. Oh Hi Ashley!"
Us: "Hey^2"
Moms (talking to the dog): "Hey Gizmo! No jump! No jump!" Siiiit.."
Moms: "Hey.. what's this in Gizmo's mouth?!"
Me: "What?"
Moms: "Dylan?! Is this a condom in GIZMO'S MOUTH?!"

Turns out Gizmo had rummaged through my room and found the used condom I had neglected to throw away. While it wasn't so much about my mom knowing I'm fucking Ashley it was more about my mother being confronted with a semen drenched condom and Ashley being there to witness it. There was then the hilarious scene of trying to get Gizmo to actually drop the condom without touching it. She told me I have a real problem cleaning up after myself.

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Darko man, you take the cake on this thread.


For god sakes, man...........that's terrible.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA
I am dying of laughter over these stories.

I don't know about you guys but what's pretty damn embarrassing to me is when you're arguing with your chick and you call her another name than her own.

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haha some of these stories are funny as fuck...

OFF TOPIC: Has anyone ever encountered someone at school or work who is the definition of a fuck? Like goes out of their way to hit you or insult you? I dont know what brought this up....

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had something similar

I remember years ago, when saying the name of my then girlfriend's sister, actually saying the name of an immediate ex-girlfriend who the current one didn't like too much.......they had very similar names........brooding silence there, weirdness thereafter.

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I think I might take the trophy by trying to fake back pain and get vicodin today... it didn't work.

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Where do you work and why do they have vicodin for employees?

I remember once while traveling on a completely packed train I stood up to get something from my backpack in the over head and, forgetting that the seats flipped up with out any pressure on them (like those in a movie theater), I sat down only to fall hard and flat on my ass. Half of the train car exploded into laughter and the others tried not to make it look like they noticed. It was pretty fucking funny and I felt like the biggest goober.

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I don't really find anything i do drunk embarrassing, because i fully encourage crazy drunk antics. Like this one time a couple of us were playing Circle of Death (aka Ring of Fire, Kings, waterfall, whatever you call it), and someone came up with the rule 'everytime you drink, you have to take off an article of clothing'... well for some reason, everyone seemed to have like 3 shirts on and layers and whatnot. I then realized all i had was a pair of shorts and a t shirt. So needless to say, about 5 minutes later i was sitting there on the floor completely naked. Then for some reaosn i had to give this girl a lapdance, while completely naked. yeah, that was somethin. Also, apparently a few weeks ago, i got blackout drunk and just started stripping at this party with prob a good 100 people there. I wouldnt have known if it wasn't for the pictures. Good times.

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This reminds me of an embarrassing moment my friend went through, where he met this random chick on a night out..

she was giving him a blowjob in the toilets and she had braces, and after a few minutes of her noshing him off, his foreskin got caught in her braces, and was there for a good minute before he ripped it out, he was bleeding and all, and now he has a fear of blowjobs, even from girls with non-braces..

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A story about someone i know:

Actually heard this today, 2 of my cousins had a party at one of there houses. Well, one of them keeps a porn mag and a bottle of lotion on the other side of his bed. One of the guys at the party knew about this and decided to joke with him about it while the ladies were around. Well when reaching back there he picks up a spongebob doll with the asshole cut out in front of everyone, with the lotion and porn mag. Priceless.....


Also, me and my girlfriend were having good times in the back room one day, and afterwords i felt like going out to get some food. We left and came back and i pretty much forgot about leaving a condom box and a used condom packed down inside of it. While sitting down and eating my food i thought about it, went to the back room to throw them away and what do you know they were gone. So comming back to the table i tell my ex girlfriend what happen, she turned like peer white knowing my mother had gotten them up and wanted to leave. So we went back to her place, arriving back home i was greeted with the birds and the bee's talk, and a congratualtions for using condoms. Not too embarrassing for me but the look on my ex's face when i told her was on a laughable level.

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I went down on my girlfriend and sneezed. Yup that pretty much tops it for me.

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HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHA

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Awww fuck! Not cool!

These stories are great. I'll try to think of some more that have happened to myself or my friends..

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Well, I'm clumsy and not very wise, so I have experienced countless embarrassing moments throughout my entire life... but the worst would probably have to be when I was at my gf's place and her sister walked in on us going at it like monkeys on crack... we thought nobody was home I still haven't been able to look her in the eye since, and that was in the summer.

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When I go to my girlfriends house we usually sleep on a second bed in her moms room. well, one night... Her mom wasn't in there, so my girlfriend and I were messing around. We decided to do some anal, and we went at that for a while..... after that I went to the restroom to go pee and clean my unit off. upon entering the restroom I was astonished by the cleanliness of my myself. When I went back into the room I layed beside my girlfriend and said "you have a really clean butt" Just out of a joke. What I didn't know is that her mother came in while i was in the restroom and was laying on the other side of the room when I commented on my girlfriends asshole.







Thankfully her mother was asleep.....I hope.

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hahahahaha... who the fuck sleeps in the same room as somebodys mother? Jesus Christ

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At least I can sleep over at her house. we used to sleep in her room but they don't want us doing that anymore....

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when i was with my kid's mom, i once screwed her in the same room as her older brother, little brother and sister, her mom and her mom's bf. they were all asleep though. i felt like a hick

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never had that one happen, but we've done it in my grandma's house. My mom and grandma left with my brother to gamestop. they asked me and my girlfriend if we wanted to go, we said no. They left us alone their for about an hour. I can never feel the same at my grannies'. We did it everywhere. That was the day of my first gig. After the gig I went home with her....

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Is her mom hot 7-string?

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Voting for bush.

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ouch... that takes the cake!

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LOL!!!

I voted Kerry in 04, which is just as bad.

That was strictly a lose-lose situation there, man.

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Wow... Reading all these posts has made me realize that I don't really have any embarrassing moments, except ripping ass on the bench press which is more funny anyway.

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One crazy guy at my school has also developed a fear of blowjobs. One time a girl bit down a little bit on him... yeah, that pretty much did the trick.

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Jesus Christ... poor guy

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First time I met my ex's parents. It was new years. Her mom made a really really spicy chilie. Which led to me taking a dump. Which led to me clogging the can. Which led to me having to ask her dad where the plunger was. He was NOT happy.

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Oh and as far as school goes. I went to an art school and we had to do this avant gaurd painting that represents rawness. So I did a HUGE painting of the cover of Type O Negative's Slow, Deep and Hard album.

When the art show happend we were each asked to unveil our painting and answer everyone's questions. So I take it down and everyone says
"wow it's so raw, the simplicity, the monotone, everything about it is so primal."

I was happy and was about to revieve an award when there was one more question "How did you come up with the idea of a vast landscape in monotone."

I said "Well actually it's a really really really close up shot of a penis entering a vagina I mean what's more raw than seeing that close up. It's direct to the point and primal. Hence why I added pubic hair instead of the clean look just to give it a more animalistic magnitude. I chose to do it in green because of two reasons. 1.) Because I didn't want to be biased about skin colour and have it be two white people, or two black people. It's just two people. Period and 2.) Because it gives the impression at least to me of a security camera filming the shot. It's like a really raw sex tape from a married couple instead of a flashy light as we see in the porn industry. "


Silence filled the room. And the award was handed to another person. The painting was taken down and I actually never saw or heard of it again. I came back and it was gone. That was my last year and I never got it back. I always wondered what happend to it. Oh well it was the size of a wall so I could never fit it in my door anyway.

I wouldn't really call it embarassing just confusing. You see it's an art school, we have nude models and nudity in the halls. So I was like "Where's my damn award!"

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That shit would seem to fly at an art school tho, just from knowing alot of RISD students here in providence........sexuality/nudity and art isn't really taboo at all.

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Last night my girlfriend was laying on my couch and I was eating her out. I was kneeling ass-naked on the floor and I scratched my bare asshole. She opened her eyes after she heard my fingernails upset my coarse 'hole hair' and she burst out laughing. haha, she was cool with it though. Some girls would probably have been completely disgusted.

Hell, it's getting dry with all of this -15C shit(plus windchill), what's a white man supposed to do.

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This made me spit out my damn Diet Coke

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