Seen this on another site, thought I'd share it. Pretty funny stuff!

Are rap and black metal alike?

Rap: Obsessed with "keeping it real", an arbitrary set of rules
Black metal: Obsessed with "staying true", an arbitrary set of rules

Rap: Band members with fake names
Black metal: Band members with fake names

Rap: Complaints about oppression from white Christians
Black metal: Complaints about oppression from white Christians

Rap: Overly concerned with making money
Black metal: Overly concerned with not making money

Rap: Cheesy synthesizers
Black metal: Cheesy synthesizers

Rap: Barely in English
Black metal: Barely in English

Rap: Strong feelings about God
Black metal: Strong feelings about God

Rap: Black skin
Black metal: Black leather

Rap: 100 guest appearances on every album
Black metal: 100 side projects by every band member

Rap: Musicians arrested for murder
Black metal: Musicians arrested for murder

Rap: Closed-minded fanbase
Black metal: Closed-minded fanbase

Rap: Very expensive tennis shoes
Black metal: Very expensive leather boots

Rap: Imagery containing dogs
Black metal: Imagery containing wolves

Rap: Negative portrayals of whites
Black metal: Negative portrayals of Jews

Rap: Rips off samples from pop music
Black metal: Rips off ideas from classical music

Rap: Videos with super-shiny floors and cars
Black metal: Videos with super-shiny swords

Rap: Imagery of the urban jungles
Black metal: Imagery of the bleak forests

Rap: Pride in geographic region
Black metal: Pride in geographic region

Rap: Pride in own race
Black metal: Pride in own race

Rap: Songs about hanging out
Black metal: Songs about hanging people

Rap: Overly concerned with appearance
Black metal: Overly concerned with appearance

Rap: High number of guys with either no hair or long hair
Black metal: High number of guys with either no hair or long hair

Rap: Vocal style masks lack of singing ability
Black metal: Vocal style masks lack of singing ability

Rap: Take pride in their (unintentionally) humorous lyrics
Black metal: Take pride in their (unintentionally) humorous lyrics

Rap: Musicians face accusations of selling out
Black metal: Musicians face accusations of selling out

Rap: Unusual interest in ancestry
Black metal: Unusual interest in ancestry

Rap: Videos with scantily-clad women
Black metal: Promo photos with scantily-clad women

Rap: Booty Calls are a common theme
Black metal: A Call To Arms is a common theme

Rap: Constantly drinking alcohol
Black metal: Constantly drinking alcohol

Rap: Axing people kweshuns
Black metal: Carrying battle axes

Rap: Bitching about being enslaved
Black metal: A bunch of bitches called Enslaved

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Except you'rr generalizing rap based on a few shit pop artists.
And you're not stereotyping black metal because they really are mostly all like that.

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I like rap better

Oh come on, now you're just not trying.

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Would that other forum happen to be UG?

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some of those relate to death metal as well...
Rap: Vocal style masks lack of singing ability
Black metal: Vocal style masks lack of singing ability

Black metal: Musicians face accusations of selling out
Black metal: Songs about hanging people


some of them make no sense:
Black metal: 100 side projects by every band member

Rap: Booty Calls are a common theme
Black metal: A Call To Arms is a common theme
(those two have nothing in common)

Black metal: Take pride in their (unintentionally) humorous lyrics
(i dont get this)

Black metal: Rips off ideas from classical music
(black metal? not really, if they are talking about instruments... god forbid anyone use a violin after the 1800s...)


other than that, its pretty lame over all.

The fuck isn't there to get? They act like hard-cunts with their music, and it's funny.

Who said anything about the instruments? talking more about the music, and creating a dark atmosphere. There are some violins, or synth-violins at least, if you take into account symphonic black metal I guess.


Indeed, lame.

i dont get it, because it says they take pride in it.

black metal does not usually take influence from classical, just sometimes. so does melodic death, and then there is neo-classical in its own. i really wasnt sure whether it meant instruments or style, but one minute this thing is talking about "true" black metal, then the next, symphonic or even neo-classical metal. there is often real violin, and yes more often synth. but believe me, if i could play a real violin, harp, horn, or cello, i would.

there is more to be said on this whole "ripping off classical music" issue. Children of Bodom do it a lot, but tons of people, including myself, dont call them black metal, and especially not anymore. there is also a difference in directly copying something, and taking influence. both of which are done, but not usually one more than the other. unless we are talking about yngwie malmsteen, who is not black metal.

dude, who actually cares, its a joke. just like nigger jokes. niggers dont take pride in stealing etc etc etc. like it or lump it.

i know. im not mad or anything, i just dont have much better to talk about on this forum, right now. you do a lot worse, so fuck it.

Yeah I do heaps worse man. Who cares? Osama has done worse than me still, but since he does alot worse than me, if I kill someone, I'm not killing heaps of peeps like he did, so it's valid, just because I don't have anything else or better to do! omg

haha, what the hell. we're talking about discussions on a forum, not killing people, c'mon. youre always going on about "doing whatever the fuck i want", well man, i happen to want to discuss this thread, so lighten up.

do we really need to discuss whether or not you think i should be talking about something on here? there i plenty of times i could complain about what you say, but i keep it to myself.

as far as im concerned, this topic is open for discussion. if you dont like that, or what i have to say about it, stop reading it, or stop reading my posts.

sorry dude ill lighten up cos your cool.

i doubt there will be any real discussing anyway, huh. considering it IS a "joke", after all. bleh.

LOL. TEH BICKERING IS WORZT THAN T3H JOK3S.

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Negative portrayals of Jews?

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Well both have one thing in common in my world they "Suck". Rap a little less than Blackmetal however

gold ol rap:

"(Uhhhhhh) wood grain with the
leather seats
Windows so dark you need a flashlight to see me
Smokin on
that doshia, four niggas in the back screaming No Limit
soldiers!
True to
the gizzame, stopped in the projects, sold a half an ounce of
cocaine"

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What is wrong with all of you saying rap is better than black metal?
How dare you call yourselves metal heads

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yeah man isn't it christians

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It's really just any Judeo-Christian religion now. A lot of them bitch about Jews because Nazis are automatically evil in today's world and we all know how much black metal turd-burglers want to be evil.

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bm bands will do anything to be considered "evil"

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Yeah. Like...what I said.

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i liked the 1st wave and early 2nd wave a lot better

Maybe you should look into the history of black metal, especially NSBM, before you start saying fucking retarded shit like that.

Yeah, there's definitely no history of black metal bands going out of their way to be as 'evil' as possible. That guy must have been thinking of dub.

Rap, black metal, and hardcore all have similar scene characteristics. One of them is that only a handful of bands in each genre are any good, but these are very, very good and almost make the existence of the rest of the crap worthwhile. Except for black metal.

haha I found It funny.

Black metal is what got me into every other type of metal somehow, I still like it quite a bit

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It got me into a lot of other metal too, but I don't really like it anymore.

i ment the early 90's bands

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Black Metal has no goods bands IMO and Rap has Public Enemy and KRS one so they are not similar at all.One genre is actually good.

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I want to be in a black metal band one day and go around saying shit like "HAILS" and "KVLT," not to forget "Tr00"

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KRS-One = r00lz

I like a few black metal bands, and I absolutely love one. I like more than a few rappers, on the other hand. I also happen to find that I hate at least 20 times as many rappers or black metal bands as the ones I do like.

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emperor and immortal are good enough for me
they have the classical elegance and the moonforest diabolical grimmness of the frostbitten winters of the impaled norseking of the impaled moonforest of grimmness

why would you need to be in a black metal, or any band, to say those words. if you meant to go around the public saying that, about 5% or less of the people would make a connection to black metal, and about 0% would care.

Your tongue won't let you form those words unless you're cult. You're really a dumb cunt.