a little guilty pleasure topic, hopefully it can go the distance.

i want to know your secrets, little things you did to get ahead, not pay for service, cheat on a test. in this thread you will brag about these sort of unspoken, not worth mentioning to anyone in real life type of things. it doesnt have to be the end all be all heists, just something clever and worth sharing, not the fact you stabbed some guy in an alley for no reason or burned a church down. a one time score or a regular gig. heres an example.

you humble narrator does not shoplift, finds it morally rehensible. will gaze on in disgust at any who are nabbed in his presence. the common refrain from my lips "there is no such thing as a free lunch"

but however, given the nature of this second rate ghetto supermarket i go to the place doesnt have any shelving anywhere, basically all products are arranged on pallets like a series of walls composed of boxes from which you can take a whole unit or just one item or whatever, kinda like wholesale outlets. a thing i do is take a cardboard box thats about 8-10 inches deep and cram as much small items inside. i take the box to the register and usually on a busy day the 16 year old supergenius cash register warrior will miss ringing in a few items,some of them including the 8 pound bag of cat food i put down next to the box<only once tho>. due to employee error i unintentionally get alot of freebies.

today i had to force a five dollar bill on one register attendent who insisted i already paid as he was handing my change, i could of walked away making a laughably marginal but completely awesome hiest but i didnt want to threaten my regular pilfering gig because i may of been under the eye of the dipshit rent-a-cop who checks bags and receipts anyway<they blindly sign away, its amazing, this time he was within eyeshot and i didnt trust the possible score>. and anyway, employees seeing me do such altruistic,good honest acts of paying for the items will further <edit: oops, disguise> my treachery.

this place is awesome. the incompetence and/or apathy of it all has been saving me money regularly for too long. i do not consider it theft and the fact a rent a cop will sign away for it is proof. its just presenting an item situation in which there is an increased chance of employee error. each time it happens i feel good, really great, fucking awesome.

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i once stole a soda from the super market

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yes. but im talking the way in which you stole as it pertains to being a useful technique for others to learn from, or just a good story. my method of shopping can save you money, if thats what you do, you know, buy you own food. the state of affair with international trade and the global domination by american and EU corporations warrants massive amounts theft,product loss. so how..............,my man, did you steal the soda?

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Me and my friend once stole 140g of marijuana from some Jamaican drug-dealers. It was quite exciting to say the least.

You are lucky they didn't find you and cut your throats! Jamaicans might seem like easy going people but thier dope gets involved that image completely changes. A group of Jamaicans got shorted on a small drug deal here so they went to the dudes house that night and cut the heads off of the 5 people living in that house, including 2 yound kids.

My trick? When I need new gear or even just guitar strings, I go to Guitar Center and tell them I seen a better deal somewhere else. The price starts dropping

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Well.. I had my awesome flannel overshirt with me so i took it off, and simply went over and grabbed a soda from the refridgerator thing and hid it in my flannel overshirt. as my friend was buying whatever he was buying i walked out. I cant get caught doing any illegal shit until november 11th. thats when the 6 months are up.

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guitar center is a worthy target. i always act like i cant afford used shit and kinda act all bummed outso they drop the price by 20-30 bucks, this is when i dont walk in with someone whos friend with the manager. i do everything i can not to pay the tagged price. they are flexible on used gear

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Well it isn't too extreme/interesting, but this year we had a really dumb french teacher. He'd make us do.. fuck, I don't know the word in english but we wrote down a part from a story, but all the verbs and some certain grammatical parts were fucked up. All week we work on correcting that, then we study the finished copy to have him dictate it for us and we write down what he says, we hand it in, he corrects it, we get points. Pretty simple concept, I'm not sure why I wrote all that haha, so what I do is get the final copy corrected and whatnot, write it down on loose leaf, stick it under a black sheet of loose leaf when we're doing the dictation or whatever, wich I still write down what he says, then hand in the correct copy from underneath.

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I got my Boss GT-8 for $280 this way. It took a week but I got them to drop the price.

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Stole two 6-foot san pedro cacti from outside some guys house. It was quite hard case actually.

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this is something id never risk, burning someone on a drug deal, even when i did smoke weed, no.....way.

ive dealt with some fake-ass jamaicans in the past, even tolerated some less than stellar seedy,shaky dimes from time to time. but for me to run a harsh burn on the dudes would possibly bring a serious situation on the "street" level. i make no pretenses that im not cut out for what possible consequences may be in store.

this reminds me that im glad i stopped buying drugs and dont have to deal with thugged out drug dealers or the junky,rip-off hippy dealers too. fuck that shit and fuck those people

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One of the first and only things I've ever stole were peanuts when I was about 10.

When my buddies and I would get high we'd go around the neighbourhood and steal lawn knomes from lawns to add to our loft. Lawn knomes and drugs mix oh so well.

I used to carry around four notes(one for each teacher) in high school due to all time I missed. They were all written by my "dad"(my friend) and had quite the elaborate stories made up on them.(many meeting with lawyers about my parents divorce, deaths in the family, appoiontments of all kind)

I'm probably missing a lot of silly stories...but stealing is bad!

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It wasn't a drug deal. Me and my friend were just chilling out near a canal, and saw a Jamaican dude stuff a package into a crevice. Once we made sure no one could see us, we took the package and rode out of that area on the nearest bus. I didn't return to that particular area for like three months.

I'd never have the balls to rob a Jamaican drug dealer in person.

Aside from that incident, the only things I remember stealing was some kind of goblin action figure when I was 8, and a couple of CDs from Tower Records when I was 12.

ah ha, yes nice score, dont know if id taken the bag. what if you found like......some guys chopped off hand? im mean..................you'd be fucked.

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Lol, some guys chopped off hand? Erm, we probably would've just put it back.

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Well, We used to shoplift from Kmart (Walmart for you Americans).

Nothing big really, but lucky we stopped when we did. It got to the point where it was just "Oh yeah, need some batteries, i'll steal myself 12".

It started from (Im sure many of you remember them) these little remote control cars costing $50 AU. They were fucking awesome! About the size of matchbox cars, with a remote control about 15x5cm large.

So anyway, these was very well planned. We would organise our bags to be half open and our lunchboxes open. I had a bag with 3 sections, and we put the shit in the 2nd largest section, inside the lunchbox. Well, we did it quite a few times differently, but ill tell you the funniest. We walked around the shop for a while cause it was quite busy (3.30 pm, we alwasy went after school). In the towel section, haha there were some towels on display. So my friend went behind the towel, and unpacked the shit out of the box and into his bag. At this time a staff member began to walk into the aisle we were in. I told my friend in polish to stay put and very quiet. She walked by and we got the fuck out of the store.

When we presented our bags to the guy at the front, we always unzipped all the sections and presented them in a way which appeared very thorough.

Suckers We did it so much and never got caught , even though they had cameras, hehe.


Most of our friends did. It was kinda the thing to do back then, a friend of mine stole a ps2 but got caught as he was leaving the store. Gotta love it

Dude you're such an idiot.

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I'm a good cheat, you've gotta have balls, i was extremely good at avoiding teachers and stole alot of shit from my school and avoided trouble by altering documents when teachers weren't around and shit, lying to them, threatening them and pointing out their mistakes and telling them i could report them bla bla, i was good at all that because here it is like a big competition to see who can be the biggest cunt teacher asshole so i headfucked them all the time. i misplaced alot of trust in some though. I dont do that anymore im out of school. i wouldn't do it anyway im alot different now

My friend did the "let's get a free guitar" trick. I wouldn't recommend it though. But he pulled it off

What you do. You go to a guitar center with a empty hard case. Look at some amps etc. and say you wanna try one out and use your own guitar. ( the empy case). Over here when you wanna try an amp out you get stuffed in some undersized booth with 150 tube power...anyhwo. when you're in the booth. wait untill the employee doesn't pay attention. and get one of their guitars of the wall. pick a nice one ^^ you remove any cards hanging on the headstock,plastic of the pickups etc...after a while when you're "done" just put that guitar in your case walk out and say thanky you for let you trying it out. et voila, free guitar. I personally would never try this. And you can never go to that guitar store ever again

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what kind of guitar did he get?

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an america made jackson king v

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Jeez dude that is fucking insane!!

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Holy fuck! It would be worth the chance of getting caught. Not like Guitar Center would miss it.

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I agree. I wouldn't do it again though. Quit while you're ahead.

cool thread.


i've pulled off more than a few cons in my life. however, some of them are pretty bad and shall remain a secret. however, i can tell you that one of them was similar to blizzard's, with an ingenious twist.


the most recent one: there was a beer truck unloading at a 7/11 and i jacked a box of corona when the guy wheeled his dolly in full of beer. that shit was heavy and i almost dropped in on the way back to the car. When we opened our box to see what we had scored, it was 4 different 6 packs (yes 24 you fucktard, but not a 24 pack, per se). I could of gotten a lot more beer, but i didnt want to be greedy.


That shit was warm, but we stuck it in the fridge. There is nothin tastier than a free beer.

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I never had the balls to steal stuff, but I did work out a little plan that might work. It's basically a buy one get one free trick.

Buy something, get the reciept, leave and give the item to your friend who's waiting outside. Go back in, grab another, if questioned you have a reciept for it - but you have to be quick so that the time on the reciept looks OK.
Then you can return one of them the next day or sell one of them.

I haven't really ever stole anything either, except a textbook from each of my classes to burn at a campfire (wich I haven't done yet.) My friend came over for the night one time and left with my stepdad's discman. He's a dick, my stepdad that is, but that wasn't very smart because it was more then obvious. Stepdad puts discman down. Stepdad remembers where he puts it down. Friend comes over. Friend leaves. Discman gone.


After that I wasn't allowed to hang around him till he gave it back with a really convincing (complete bullshit) apology letter, but he still can't come to my house, I can just go over to his haha.

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when i lived in charlottesville,va there was a beer distributer along the traintracks that me and some friend would raid.

i could only presume this beer was either old or samples or something because noone seemed to miss the large quantities of theft. i never understood this place and it closed down by the time i moved out. when it closed my friend worked at the site rebuilding it into a yoga center.

the summer of 2001 was fueled on free beer,the level of alcoholism was staggering. we would raid 24 packs of miller high life and bud lite that came in the new<then it was new> plastic 12 ounce bottles. we'd get cobra 32 ouncers, icehouse tall cans and hooch bottles and other nasty wine coolers. we'd take like 5-6 24 packs<there were like 10 of us each raid>wed get kegs but the shit was always sour and not worth the haul. never really a fear about getting caught, the trucks were easily broken into. the owner never got dogs to gaurd the lot which, if it was rhode island there would be like 4 pitbulls and the score would be impossible.

apparently when i moved there i only enjoyed the tail end of this place, it had been going on for a while. the place i lived was an art space that threw shows, we'd re-up every show or weekend. the walk to this place from the art space was entirely two blocks by way of traintracks. ive never seen anything like it ever again.

thats probably the most impressive act of wanton theft ive ever committed in a short amount of time.

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Niiice. That's a worthy haul

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Returning from a gig in Leeds many years ago, a friend pulled the car over at an Indian Take Away /curry house. Upon entering he told the chap behind the counter a totally made up false story about how the previous night he'd ordered, for delivery, a big stash of Indian food. He then told him that several things he'd ordered and paid for were missing from the order such as a Madras and some rice dishes etc. The guy behind the counter apologised and duly gave him a free curry and some naan bread by way of compensation. So we all tucked into a free snack! Just what you need after being in the pit! Hurrah!

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It wouldn't work. They have the scanners that identify something as 'bought' so a product off the shelf would just be as new, non refundable.

I dunno but im sure the barcodes and shit should have something to do with returns as well.

Always worth a try though.

hahahaha!

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reciept scams are common homeless/junky fare. ive worked in a pharmacy and a co-op supermarket before and know employees are always warned. its a nothing-left-to-lose low precentile move. ive had friends sift thru garbage to get a reciept, go in and grab the item and return it.

it usually results in a big hassle from which you may walk away with 5 bucks, but everyone there hates you, knows you fucked them over. its never worth it.

the worst is coupon scams, anyone who worked in a pharmacy knows what im talking about. this is where some asshat will try for the 24 oz bottle of hand lotion when its actually the 16 oz specified in the coupon. they say to you "well ring it in and ill just go get it on the way out" i fucking wish these people would die already. congragulations for stealing 10 cents worth of hand lotion, fucktard.

this remind me of the mother of the worst retail scams ever concieved. the "i gave you a 20$ wheres my change?". solution, leave the tab up of whatever slot the paying bill came in. i use to love shutting these fuckers down. its always the type of bozo who you hate anyway upon first glance, i respect the effort but businesses are willing to count back drawers if the situation is in serious doubt to happily tell you to go get fucked.

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Me and my friends stole stuff like ice creams beers and stuff frequently.
The funny story(because of our stupidity) was one time
we were planning on throwing a party and thought:why buy the drinks when
we can steal them?So we went outside this store(about 1 am,store closed) having big bags with us.
It had refrigerators with beers and other stuff.We started our efforts to open
one fridge when the guy who owned the store was coming our way cause he was living
almost across the street and saw us.So he chased us,we got away hid in a building's entrance and waited.We get back on the street,one of us(we were 3) turned to go home,then we continued walking and my friend says: We are doing many stupid stuff
lately,we'll get caught one day" the moment he said that we saw a police car right behind us with the blue light on.They stop us ask where we were,we told them something they said OK and were ready to go when the cop from inside the car sais to the one who was talking to us: search them.They found on my friend 20g of weed,
handcuffed us took us to the store owner who recognised us and then to the police station for questioning and shit.spent the night in detention and the next morning they
took us to the prosecuting attorney(a very bad guy,haha).All that in 2001
We went to court last year but we were acquitet(?).
The bottom line: Don't go stealing something having weed on you

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Haha that sucks when you almost get away aye.

Me and my friends ripped off our old friend's step dad's grow. We knew it would be in the garage in his new house. So we went there during school with a crow bar, ripped out the garage lock, and went in. Sure enough the same big ass box he used to use was there humming away with a dank smell of bud. We opened it up and there were like, I dunno maybe 10 plants about 3 feet each. They were probably only like 1 month into flowering but still had some decent buds. So we hauled it into rubbish bags, jumped the fence and got the fuck outta there.

Man if we had got pulled up on the way home.. Fuck. Woulda been done for trafficking or dealing. 2 Rubbish bags of full plants isnt exactly personal use lol.

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Hahah. I got a story like that, but not as bad.

Me and nHoE where walking to a friends place from a store, it was pretty late, 10:30, 11 o'clockish when a cop car pulls up beside us. The guy says "Where are you guys going?"

Us: "A friends house."
Cop: "Have you guys been on bedell Avenue?" (It was about 3 blocks away)
Us: "No. Something happen?"
I forgot what the ciop said, but I think it was something about party gone bad, drugs, underage booze, etc.

Anyway, cop pulls away, I look at Mike, he says "What?"

"I got 20$ of weed in my pocket, that could've been bad..."

If it wasn't for my charm and Mike's cute poofy hair, I might've had the pretty little fine on my hands.

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Yaaawgh you think my hair's cute? Haha man that was funny. I don't think I said what, we just looked at eachother and laughed. I also had a can of Rockstar (energy drink) in my hand, she thought it was a beer or something.

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Oh ya! I forgot about that part.

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ive been there man,unexpected visits by the police suck while carrying dubage

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have you ever been caught?

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That's just wrong,the only good place to hide weed is in your
underwear,haha.

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Hahaha.

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I'm not quite sure I would be down with smoking Gordy's smegma skunk..

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Haahaa! Agreed.

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yes, but not arrested

friends and I were on an abandoned WW2 army bunker in the area where i grew up, cops went all thru the woods,climbed the hill to get us after catching a friend as he was making his way up. got brought in and forced to call our parents<this is when i was in high school>. not really that big of a deal.

we were smoking the best hash i ever seen too, we were just about finished so its not like they had alot to go on. they were nice after eveything was said and done

cops go for the older guys who sell kids weed, thats the bigger problem for them.

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Same deal here really, unless you act like an ass to the cops, or you are carrying heaps, they will usually 'confiscate' and forget.
Happened to us driving thru town with a hotboxed car lol.

Cops are more interested in finding who u got it from ect

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We did something along the lines, but got caught.
Broad daylight, it was snowing, and our neighborhood hadn't gotten plowed yet. Four of us packed into a Jeep Cherokee.

Now, there is this house in our neighborhood with all this tacky shit on the front lawn. I mean her lawn is PACKED with this crap (if i have time tomorrow, I'll roll by for a picture). So we drive by, going about 5mph. My buddy Ed says "fuck this bitch and her tacky shit, i'm stealing a Gnome."

So we are in this Jeep, with window clings with my school's name plastered on it (my high school was a real small military academy, and it was 11th grade, so all the faculty knew what cars were whos), and the windows all the way down. Ed jumps out, grabs the Gnome. We start SPEEDING off at 3mph cause we keep sliding all over the road. A neighbor comes out and starts yelling at us to put it back. So Ed jumps back out, puts it down... and now the only way to drive is past the neighbor, who is staring into the car as we drive by, windows still down, all four of us ducking down hiding our faces.

Lovely fucked up theft.

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Yeah man, we thought about doing that before too. I took lessons there so it wouldn't have been a good idea. We really could have done it, too. Especially with being in there for lessons, I could've picked a day where I knew my teacher wouldn't be in there, and make up some excuse about "oh shit, he never told me he wouldn't be here." Then stay and fuck around a bit, and wait for the employees to leave where you are, and then nab a $700 Ibanez.

We cased the place though. There is a camera room, and we think someone is always in there, so.



That'll work at Circuit City. When I do LP, I just check it off. You really can't question a customer, either, so me checking the receipt is almost pointless.

I might let one of my pals do that while I'm working and see what we can get away with.



I think he meant because we have KMart here, too. But yeah, its pretty risky stealing from those Ghetto-Marts. They have security out the ass. And NEVER... EVER steal from Grocery Stores. I worked in one. They don't miss a thing.

Except me short changing Mexicans and then taking the money and using it on break.



At my Circuit City, none of those things work. Seriously, if you bought something and it beeps, we just tell people to go ahead cause our scanners are fucked up.

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i knew a few dudes way back who stole christmas lawn ornaments, wiseman, baby jesus etc. the whole christmas and halloween decoration overkill thing is big here in the northeast.


i wouldnt steal stuff from guitar center, but i did one time steal 2 matching beaters from daddys junky music<a regional chain in the northeast> for a double kick a few years ago. i was very careless and just needed the shit.

i hate daddys worst than guitar center. they sell used shit priced like its new.

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Thats how smaller stores are, though. Guitar Center and everywhere have cheaper prices cause they have more locations, and sell alot more in volume to pay for everything.

"Joe Blows Music Store" can't compete with the lower prices.

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i have a friend who owns a small used guitar store, the local guitar center contacts thier repairs to his shop. wierd huh?

as far as competition, modification/upgrading of gear. this place sells home made guitar pedals, they can mod anything, the bulk of thier work is repair. they also go for vintage stuff as well and arent into the whole "greed and avarice" ethos like daddys

used places have to capitalize on different areas,areas GC arent good in or just plain overlook<repair>. they also can sell/trade/buy on ebay which helps. its not entirely impossible to compete, the dude i know is doing really well, the repair gig from GC alone pays the bills.

daddys is fucking retarded in comparison, they tried to rip me off once.


around 6 years ago i call up a local daddys store which was about an hour drive from where i live<when i lived in mass>. i specifically ask the dude if he is interested in checking out a vintage kit. hes into it,doesnt even inquire on what kind of kit it is<we always buy vintage kits>,tells me roll on down and he will check it out.

so i drive there and bring my 70s sparkle blue slingerland 4 piece that i paid about a grand on, the shells are mint. rims are a little oxidized but not horrendous. the hoops are beaten to hell but could easily be sanded down and repainted. aside from a little dust it was sleeper bargain and i was expecting about 400-500<sold a little more than twice the amount when fixed up> for the thing, a legit rare vintage kit with all original hardware.

the dude makes me wait about 20 minutes then tells me that he can only offer me 75$ or 125$ store credit. then he began to complain that, pointing around the store that they are tight on room and acted like this was sort of a generous favor.

i fucking freaked out. screamed at the guy telling him i specifically called him so we can avoid issues like the "lack of room" and if he wanted something specific,due to the lack of space this all can be hashed out on the fucking phone.

no need to bring a vistalite if they have some already and no room, no need for an Eames cause a more conservative, less high end and expenseive choice, due to the lack of room,would be better. the slingerland is not the most revired of relics, i know, but lets not pretend the shit is some 90s tama made in mexico.

the dude retreats back behind the counter and say "well i guess i cant help you if your gonna yell at me" or something to that effect. the nerve of this fucker, man.
thats how you drive away costumers and run your ship into the ground.

just thinking about this incident makes me want to go back and burn the fucking place down.

used joints gotta adapt to survive and customer service is crucial

sorry for the rant

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Haha, that sucks dude.

Heres one the I do quite often: Go to a fast food place that gives free refills of pop, and free water. Get a water, pour it out or drink it, depending on how thirsty you are, then go up and ask for a refill of pop. If they look in the glass, ask for 7up or Sprite or something clear, if they give you a new glass or don't look at it, get whatever the hell you want.

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That guitar one would have taken balls man.

His hands must have been shaking.

once i stole a cadbury egg from HEB.
i woulda been freakin out about the GC one, i definityle wouldnta grabbed that guitar. nothin over 100 bucks. thats easily noticeable. well, hell if your really gonna do it you might as well get it and never go back. i'll have to try that , we have 3 GCs in houston.

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We went in and just THOUGHT about it, and I was shaking bad enough...

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