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Old 2002-09-03, 09:42
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far_beyond_sane
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FTT #10 - Gristle Clog in the Ham Juicer

I'll insert a plea for at least the briefest thread of sanity here, and no random turd and fuck comments from people with barren imaginations.


"When the world was young, and still being formed, a force began to gather in the atmosphere. A collection of amino acids, drawn together in a hypercharged vortex from component molecules spontaneously evolved cellular life... and something else.

Extracellular beings were born approximately 550 million years before the rise of Homo Sapiens Sapiens. Their evolutionary rate is currently caluculated as 2^8 times that of cellular life. Even the method of their nature and reproduction is yet to be quantified or understood, but nonetheless... this is their story..."
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far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982

"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
 
Old 2002-09-03, 16:41
atifman
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(southern accent) "hey maw, when we gonn' catch dem dinosaurs" said Sugahpie.
Maw said , "just a sec, sugahpie, we gots to get my harpoon".
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Old 2002-09-03, 17:31
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so they went out to get the 'harpoon' and they fucked off to get dem dinosaurs
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Old 2002-09-03, 19:57
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but the ugly duckling son wanted to stay home to play on the intanet, because he was northern, he said, i want some pop,..before you go, ayeee
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-03, 22:12
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but the ma pulled out her shotgen and emmed it at his 'ed and said....
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Old 2002-09-03, 22:19
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"Look out behind you! A space-time tear is opening behind you Sugahpie, and a hyper-dimensional being is crossing over from it's realm into ours!!!"

As the being entered, all maw and Sugahpie could see was a huge mass that is constantly changing shapes and sizes. This "form" of many spheres, expanding and contracting with every movement, started advancing on the two southerners.

Then all of a sudden, one mass from it's body swung out and grabbed little maw, and she vanished along with the creature. Little did she and Sugahpie know, maw had just been taken through the "fourth dimension".

"Where could she have gone?" sugahpie cried as he looked at all the locked and closed doors of the house. Ah but his frail little mind could not comprehend what had just happened before his very eyes.

Fearing he had lost his maw, maw forever...he cried out....
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Through me you pass into the city of woe
Through me you pass into eternal pain
Through me among the people lost for ay
Justice the founder of my fabric moved
To rear me was the task of power divine
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure
All hope abandon, ye who enter here

Against the concert of the Immortals he cannot stand alone.
 
Old 2002-09-04, 00:16
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like a schoolgirl
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-04, 00:18
atifman
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"oh snap!" and
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Old 2002-09-04, 00:21
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went to get a magnifying glass, so he could look cool when
he tries to figure out this unsolved mystery
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-04, 00:24
atifman
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he also donned a sporting doorag, and then he proceeded to
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Old 2002-09-04, 00:26
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the bathroom, to use it as toilet paper
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-04, 00:47
atifman
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Angry what the fuck is wrong with doorags?!?

after that, he planned to devise a plan with his associates:
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Old 2002-09-04, 02:16
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#600!!

which was to buy more toilet paper
































and also...
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Old 2002-09-04, 02:30
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to somehow get deposited in a continuous, straight-line plot without side tracks whenever someone wants to post but has nothing to add to the storyline.

Sugahpie hoped to accomplish this by a trip to the bookstore, so he 'learns himself up and be real smart.' However, before he could do this, he had to learn the finer aspects of reading. Two months of hooked on phonics later, he felt he was ready for the journey to the bookstore. This was tragically far far away from his home, and, this being well before the invention of any forms of transport, he had to walk the thirty days and thirty nights to the local bookstore.

Once he had braved the perils of the road to Barnes and Noble, Sugahpie was horrified to find out that, at this point in time, he was the only guy around who could read, and all there was to find here was a cafe and a fuckload of empty shelves.

He ordered himself a mocah latte, sat down at a table near the window, looked at the empty parking lot, and decided to...
 
Old 2002-09-04, 02:41
atifman
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eat (haha, suck a dick weijia!!! )
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Last edited by atifman : 2002-09-04 at 02:43.
 
Old 2002-09-04, 02:42
atifman
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and call his buddies to devise a plan (to get back Maw). he called
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Old 2002-09-04, 03:20
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A.T.E. (take that apu(atif)!!!!)
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Old 2002-09-04, 03:34
atifman
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A.T.E said, "ok i see your problem, sugahpie, i think i can help you. all we gotta do now is build a spaceship to try to find and retrieve your Maw. isn't it coincidental how this situation is just like in the movie 'Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius'?"

Sugahpie: "no"

A.T.E. said, "well anyway,...."
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Last edited by atifman : 2002-09-04 at 03:36.
 
Old 2002-09-04, 17:37
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''....lets build this space ship, it'll only take us....''
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Old 2002-09-04, 20:12
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6 weeks!!??


@atif-
i hate it when some black guy
wears a doorag in school as just
a fasion statement. i'v known some
black dudes, and the only point of it
is to keep your hair from getting all
screwed up when you sleep, after you
put hair gunk in it,
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-04, 20:27
atifman
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@power soft error-
okay

Sugahpie said, "okay i can wait that long"

so they waited 6 weeks, and they done built the most awesome spaceships and suits with helmets (unlike "Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius" ). then they proceeded to
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Old 2002-09-04, 20:43
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play tag in the spaceship hull, wearing the helmets
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-04, 22:13
atifman
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when they played tag, A.T.E accidentally poked Sugahpie in the eye, and Sugahpie cried. A.T.E sincerely apologized and Sugahpie forgave him.
after that ordeal, they launched the spaceship, but
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Old 2002-09-04, 23:35
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the spaceship didn't start....it sputtered and died
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-05, 00:51
atifman
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so they realized the bugs with the spaceship and they rebuilt it. then they flew up into space again, and they were successful this time. now all they had to do was,
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Old 2002-09-05, 17:24
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eat...so they got out there warm double cheese pizza from there lunchboxes and stuffed there faces....as they each took a bite, the engine on the spaceship went...''FUCK WERE ALL GONNA DIE!!!'' and then the engine started working again..so they carried on eating there pizza...
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'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''

Quote:
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Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
 
Old 2002-09-05, 17:27
atifman
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and their "chips". after that, they both looked with their binoculars to find out where Maw could've gone,
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Old 2002-09-05, 17:33
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..there was no sign of maw, where could maw be?!...they were puzzled..so they quit searching and decided to have a pizza...but as soon as they turned around she was hanging from the ceiling of the ship by mozarella cheese...''MA!!! MA!!''....they then decided to stop staring at maw and the cheese and they..
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'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''

Quote:
Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
 
Old 2002-09-05, 22:46
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went to the kitchen for more cheese
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-05, 22:55
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but the cheese had left and was alking up and down the aisle of the magic rollercoaster. but it fell up and out of...
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Old 2002-09-05, 23:15
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aisle of the magic rollercoaster??
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-06, 03:54
atifman
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outer space. once they realized that....
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Old 2002-09-06, 10:28
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Maw was indeed NOT in space.....but in another dimension, out of reach for Sugahpie and his 3 dimensional bound friends.....they went back to earth and roasted marshmellows on their burning house. (the spaceship crashed into the house)
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Through me you pass into the city of woe
Through me you pass into eternal pain
Through me among the people lost for ay
Justice the founder of my fabric moved
To rear me was the task of power divine
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure
All hope abandon, ye who enter here

Against the concert of the Immortals he cannot stand alone.
 
Old 2002-09-06, 20:07
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powersofterror
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so then they sleep and in their dreams, maw is there, she says.....
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2002-09-06, 21:38
atifman
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"don't worry fellas, i'll be on my way"

so Maw, tried to escape from the 4th dimension, and
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Old 2002-09-07, 06:14
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died.

Sugahpie went on to become an international pornstar, and made millions.
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Through me you pass into the city of woe
Through me you pass into eternal pain
Through me among the people lost for ay
Justice the founder of my fabric moved
To rear me was the task of power divine
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure
All hope abandon, ye who enter here

Against the concert of the Immortals he cannot stand alone.
 
Old 2002-09-07, 13:17
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.....And thats the end of this ftt?
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'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''

Quote:
Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
 
Old 2002-09-07, 19:32
atifman
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yep
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