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2002-08-28, 23:11
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,931
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FTT #9: Poo-Eaters From Outer SPace
here it is and just like all the other ones, no sexual jokes, and try to stay off of god and satans case.
you know what, i'm not even gonna start it complictaed
One day...
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2002-08-28, 23:22
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The Devil
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Banging your girlfriend.
Posts: 2,541
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...someone....
__________________
Through me you pass into the city of woe
Through me you pass into eternal pain
Through me among the people lost for ay
Justice the founder of my fabric moved
To rear me was the task of power divine
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure
All hope abandon, ye who enter here
Against the concert of the Immortals he cannot stand alone.
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2002-08-29, 01:31
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New Blood
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Toronto
Posts: 38
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...fell into...
__________________
[ y ø u . c a n . a l l . f u c k . ø f f .||. i m . p e r f e c t .||. p i s s . ø f f .||. b e a u t i f u l .||. i m . g ø d ]
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2002-08-29, 04:37
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Forum Leader
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: .
Posts: 2,934
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a strip joint......
(remember, no sexual jokes  ) |
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2002-08-29, 06:41
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Scotland
Posts: 756
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...and...got....
__________________
well maybe for you ...maybe you don't know shit that's why - LØRD MALPHAS
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2002-08-29, 08:14
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You gamma-minus fucktards
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Sydney.
Posts: 4,674
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Your collective knowledge of syntax is shit.
Here we go again now, with some minor editions...
"One day a young man called Trevor got himself into a sizable amount of trouble. He was merrily skipping down the road to his gran's house listening to The Catacombs of Nephren Ka on his minidisc when he noticed a door next to the housing complex where she lived... a door he had never seen before.
Trevor, a curious lad, skipped over and pushed it with one finger. It opened with a creak, and the sound of slow, sleazy strip music was heard...
Trevor straightened... he was sure he could smell tuna in the air...
"Well," he mused "Before I visit my granny I might just pop down and see if I can grind my face into a big-hipped bitch's crotch. Nothing like light entertainment."
Trevor continued down the stairs, and at the bottom...
__________________
far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982
"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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2002-08-29, 10:13
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The Devil
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Banging your girlfriend.
Posts: 2,541
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...he fell....
__________________
Through me you pass into the city of woe
Through me you pass into eternal pain
Through me among the people lost for ay
Justice the founder of my fabric moved
To rear me was the task of power divine
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure
All hope abandon, ye who enter here
Against the concert of the Immortals he cannot stand alone.
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2002-08-29, 10:49
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New Blood
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: guernsey
Posts: 21
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....and landed on his tail bone..
__________________
PLAY IT FASTER! - minor threat
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2002-08-29, 13:29
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Berkshire, England
Posts: 140
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...and cried...
__________________
Congratulations. You have won the toilet of the year award. 
'ate' - mrweijia
''They should send us a Trojan Camel...'' - Walpurgis |
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2002-08-29, 14:08
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,931
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...and then...
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2002-08-29, 16:24
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Forum Leader
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: .
Posts: 2,934
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....a stripper picked him up and bitched at him, "you're not 18! what are you doing here?"
still crying, Trevor said, "i just wanted to grind my face into a big-hipped bitch's cunt"
then the stripper said, "oh! if you wanted it, why didn't you ask? you should've just said so before. "
So the stripper took Trevor ........and threw him out on his ass. "no minors allowed! come back when you're 18, and shave that peach fuzz mustache!".....
so then Trevor........
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2002-08-29, 17:15
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Symbiotic In Theory
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England, United Kingdom
Posts: 4,306
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got on his trusty street luge...and trundled out of the strip club..as he left the door this bloke came up to him and...
__________________
'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''
Quote:
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Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
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2002-08-29, 18:52
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Berkshire, England
Posts: 140
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gave him a fiver and told him to go buy a shoe. cause he'd lost one but hadnt noticed...
__________________
Congratulations. You have won the toilet of the year award.
'ate' - mrweijia
''They should send us a Trojan Camel...'' - Walpurgis |
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2002-08-29, 19:59
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Master Killer
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
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but he didn't buy a new shoe, instead he went to the backdoor of the place and found a really ugly fat whore, trevor showed his fiver to her and...
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2002-08-29, 20:31
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The Devil
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Banging your girlfriend.
Posts: 2,541
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...she punched him in the face, resulting in her blubber jiggling all over the place and hitting him even further.
"What dah fuck is dat? Yo tink i'ma worth onliee 5 fucking bucks? Fuck yo bitch!!"
She went back inside keeping the 5 dollars which she had snatched from his hand while he fell helplessly to the ground from her fat-attack. He remainded sitting on the ground for quite some time....in fact, he stayed there 17 hours.
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something lurking.....moving.....approaching him. He turned around visciously, holding some dirt and a dirty condom he picked up from the alley floor in his hand for protection, shouting "GET AWAY EVIL FIEND!!! YOU SHALL NOT TAKE ME SO EASILY!!! FOR I HAVE THE WILL TO FIGHT, TO FIGHT AS LONG AND HARD AS I MUST WITH THIS FILTH AND USED CONDOM UNTIL I AM NO LONGER ABLE TO GO ON IN THIS MADNESS AND FURY THAT I SO SELDOMLY CALL RAGE" *panting for air....*when he noticed it was only......
__________________
Through me you pass into the city of woe
Through me you pass into eternal pain
Through me among the people lost for ay
Justice the founder of my fabric moved
To rear me was the task of power divine
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure
All hope abandon, ye who enter here
Against the concert of the Immortals he cannot stand alone.
Last edited by memnoch : 2002-08-29 at 20:33.
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2002-08-29, 21:49
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,931
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a used bloody tampon
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2002-08-30, 00:04
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I am a tax on the world..
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: pizza with a shit on it!
Posts: 7,994
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and then he wanted to masterbate
__________________
Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.
This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
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2002-08-30, 03:24
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Forum Leader
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: .
Posts: 2,934
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for some reason. but then he put his urges aside, and went street luging again.
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2002-08-30, 04:42
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,982
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until he rammed his luge into what appeared to be a big, hairy drunk street bum. However, once he came out of shock, Trevor noticed it was, in fact not a bum but a half-yeti, whose name he for some reason assumed was walpurgis, cradling a bottle of crown royal and a rabbit. Trevor shook the bloodied victim of chronic yetiism, as well as shitty street luge driving, and the man-yeti awoke with a roar and...
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2002-08-30, 09:22
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Master Killer
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
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scared the living daylights outta little Trevor, he tried to run but....
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2002-08-30, 14:19
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Forum Leader
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: .
Posts: 2,934
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tripped on his street luge on the way (ain't so "trusty" now, is it?).
Trevor had to think of something before the Half-yeti......
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2002-08-30, 14:34
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,931
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roars and causes an avalanche, because if he did, then...
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2002-08-30, 18:44
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Master Killer
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
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he would probably die... and he didn't want to die so he thought about a plan...
in a dumpster he found a banana peel and he threw it before the half yeti's huge feet and....
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2002-08-30, 18:48
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Berkshire, England
Posts: 140
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ate cake
__________________
Congratulations. You have won the toilet of the year award.
'ate' - mrweijia
''They should send us a Trojan Camel...'' - Walpurgis |
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2002-08-31, 09:32
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Symbiotic In Theory
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England, United Kingdom
Posts: 4,306
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Quote:
Originally posted by *Def-Fx*
he would probably die... and he didn't want to die so he thought about a plan...
in a dumpster he found a banana peel and he threw it before the half yeti's huge feet and....
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*Angelofdeath: dude stop whining about shit, were trying to do a fft and your fucking ruining it*
..he slipped on it....and landed on his balls, ''ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRR'' the yeti was in pain, hahahaha, ive defeated the yeti trevor happily quoted, but out of nowhere, the female yeti pounded onto trevor, trevor was helpless, she was HUUUUGE, ''aw shit man im fucked''....but trevor didnt realize that..
__________________
'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''
Quote:
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Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
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2002-08-31, 16:16
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Master Killer
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
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the female yeti was reallllly pissed of because the male yeti couldn't use his dick to pound in here again cuz his balls where all black and blue from the crash he made...
the male yeti tried to get up but he couldn't, the female yeti grabbed Trevor and told him "you tiny man, you in big shit now" , Trevor tried to bite the yeti in her hand but.....
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2002-08-31, 18:48
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Symbiotic In Theory
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England, United Kingdom
Posts: 4,306
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Her hands were covered in shit, ''ahh fuck'' trevor had shit all over his mouth, ohh now he was furious he whipped out a army knife from his cacks and started shredding up the female yeti, the yeti fainted because of losing so much blood, and she fell with a big splat and landed on her ''male friend'' of a yeti...now this was a picture! two fucked up yetis on top of each other...trevor was feeling tough...
..He was thinking too tough, he wanted to take on a 20 ft dragon with spikes coming from its head.....he thought about it for a while...and set off too look for this beast...
__________________
'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''
Quote:
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Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
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2002-08-31, 20:01
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,931
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but instead he found the fierciest beast alive: his wife.
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2002-09-01, 10:11
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Symbiotic In Theory
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England, United Kingdom
Posts: 4,306
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Now he had to face the beasts wife..but instead he decided to..
__________________
'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''
Quote:
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Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
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2002-09-01, 13:04
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Master Killer
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
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run like hell and hope he could escape her, but...
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2002-09-01, 15:17
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,931
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he lost his legs in nam
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2002-09-01, 17:53
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Master Killer
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
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so he had to haul ass in his wheelchair and ...
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2002-09-01, 19:40
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Symbiotic In Theory
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England, United Kingdom
Posts: 4,306
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the wheel on the wheel chair piveted on a rock and he was flying in the air....like a bird flying..............SPLAT..he got up as quick as he could...
__________________
'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''
Quote:
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Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
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2002-09-01, 19:57
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,931
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only to find that he had no legs, so he fell down and started to....
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2002-09-02, 18:34
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Symbiotic In Theory
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England, United Kingdom
Posts: 4,306
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..think, ''fuck man how did i lose my fucking legs, they were there one second and they just vanished..im stumped!''..with no legs this whole poo-eating thing was gonna be hard for him...or was it?...anyway he decided to...
__________________
'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''
Quote:
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Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
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2002-09-02, 18:52
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Master Killer
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
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try and get a lift from a trucker, so he tried to walk on his hand, but he fell down once more, in the mean time the Yeti's allready got up and ran towards him, he looked back and screamed...
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2002-09-02, 19:29
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Symbiotic In Theory
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England, United Kingdom
Posts: 4,306
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...by this time the yeti was too close, and he was still screaming...but he hadnt forgot the yetis weak-spot and gave him another blow in the balls with his trusty-walking stick that the trucker gave him! the yeti fell down unconcious, with his balls so black and blue...anyway, he tried to make his way over to the truck when the female yeti got up, ''ahhh shit'' said trevor as he reached for his...
__________________
'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''
Quote:
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Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
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2002-09-02, 19:32
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,931
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dildo, which he gave to the female yeti. the yeti...
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2002-09-02, 19:37
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Symbiotic In Theory
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England, United Kingdom
Posts: 4,306
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..took it and started beating trevor with it, trevor was thinking ''why the hell would i give the yeti a dildo except for a sexual pleasure'' anyway the yeti kept giving trevor continous blows to the head with this ''dildo''...he was battered and bruised....the trucker that was nearby started to do something instead of watching the yeti beat the shit out of trevor with a dildo so he thought..
__________________
'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''
Quote:
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Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
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2002-09-02, 19:43
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Drunken Yeti God
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: BangHer, Washington
Posts: 2,819
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Quote:
Originally posted by tatter3d
*Angelofdeath: dude stop whining about shit, were trying to do a fft and your fucking ruining it*
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This is the first time I've checked this, so pardon me for being a little behind. First of all, tatter3d, don't be a fucking asshole to other people, it won't end well for you.
Secondly, how come the giant half-yeti has to be named walpurgis?  Bastards...
__________________
Fuck Brad and everyone who looks like Brad. From the looks of this picture, I think he's jerking off too much. Keep him away from LouAnne.
I never fucked a 10, but one night I fucked five 2's.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
You really have no dignity. I would rather have sex with my fifty year old father.
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2002-09-02, 19:46
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Symbiotic In Theory
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England, United Kingdom
Posts: 4,306
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Keep up your bullshit, and everything you post will be gone, and you as well.
Walpurgis
__________________
'' I'll Smother You With A Fucking Pillow!! ''
Quote:
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Originally Posted by metal=life
Hey don't talk back buddy. Give your dick size or don't post.
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Last edited by walpurgis : 2002-09-03 at 01:23.
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2002-09-03, 01:20
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Forum Leader
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: .
Posts: 2,934
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Quote:
Originally posted by tatter3d
..took it and started beating trevor with it, trevor was thinking ''why the hell would i give the yeti a dildo except for a sexual pleasure'' anyway the yeti kept giving trevor continous blows to the head with this ''dildo''...he was battered and bruised....the trucker that was nearby started to do something instead of watching the yeti beat the shit out of trevor with a dildo so he thought..
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i'll use my 10 yrs. experience of........ |
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2002-09-03, 01:49
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Calgary, Canada a.k.a. Redneck Hell
Posts: 236
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...Being a stunt double for Rowdy Rowdy Piper in all of those crappy movies he made and...
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2002-09-03, 02:01
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Forum Leader
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: .
Posts: 2,934
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so the trucker clotheslined the yeti
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2002-09-03, 02:06
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Calgary, Canada a.k.a. Redneck Hell
Posts: 236
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... and knocks the yeti flat on its ass, leaving it either to weak or emabarsed to fight back. As Trevor gets up and grabs the dildo, the trucker, in an ironic twist, starts...
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2002-09-03, 02:13
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Forum Leader
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: .
Posts: 2,934
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he twisted that iron.........wait......oh i get it now!  ( )
rams the dildo in trevor's face and breaks 2 of his teeth. |
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2002-09-03, 02:24
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Calgary, Canada a.k.a. Redneck Hell
Posts: 236
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.. Leaving Trevor all of 8 teeth in total, which he uses to fashion a crude...
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2002-09-03, 02:40
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Forum Leader
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: .
Posts: 2,934
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sexy bucktoothed smile. all the ladies wanted him but he was too much of 2-timer.
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2002-09-03, 02:51
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Calgary, Canada a.k.a. Redneck Hell
Posts: 236
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Trevor, with his feelings of rejection and yeti beatings, walked off into the sunset with his dildo and sexy buck toothed smile, along the way, tripping over a...
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2002-09-03, 04:13
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I am a tax on the world..
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: pizza with a shit on it!
Posts: 7,994
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pizza with a shit on it!
__________________
Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.
This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
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2002-09-03, 09:33
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You gamma-minus fucktards
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Sydney.
Posts: 4,674
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Wow.
Move over James Joyce.
Your collective stream of consciousness technique leave me absolutely bowelless.
These stories are like an awful sprawling literary haemorrhage. Amusing 
__________________
far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982
"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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