haha. Cute moe. UR REEL KUTE.

I've never pissed on someone..probably should experiment with the girlfriend sometime. SHOW HER WHO WEARZ TEH PANTZ.

__________________

I remember this one kid in my high school called Cody Prince, he was in the same grade as me and one of the toughest, most feared fuckers in the school. Some kid mouthed him off one day and Cody knocked him out with 2 punches then pissed in his mouth. He spent 2 years in juvenile detention for attemped murder because the kid could have choked to death.

__________________

Haha. My friend once had this guy at one of his parties who had been really wasted, spilled red wine everywhere and been a bit of a knob, and when he passed out they dripped fuck-loads of Tobasco sauce up his nose. He would come round every now and then and have sneezing fits before slipping back into a drunken slumber. I don't think he was ever aware of what was going on.
When one of my Irish friends at uni was passed out we put a potato in his pocket and a tin whistle up his nose. Then we got out the "simply tin whistle" music book and fingered the notes of traditional Irish folk songs, whilst his breathing sounded them. We videoed it of course, and then covered him in shaving foam. Hahaha good times. Also, a joke we played on the same guy was when he was in a drunken sleep in his bed, three of us worked until the early hours to remove everything (even furiture) out of his room and locked it in the garden shed.
Oh man, we did all sorts of tuff to each other, nothing extreme like pissing or balls-on-the face. I once woke up on the sofa, tied to my girlfriend, with slices of wafer-thin ham on my face.

That doesn't sound too bad. Those other pranks were funny as well. Maybe next time we'll go with something less crude.

Many years ago a friend of mine was completely wasted and he drank what he thought was mouthwash, as it was in a mouthwash bottle. Yes, who would drink mouthwash anyways. haha, turns out there was high potent, industrial plant nutrients in the container, as another friend of mine's father owned a Lawn Care company and we were using it to grow weed. He was puking black shit all night. After he was finally done, we dragged him into a bedroom, rolled him up in a sheet and covered his face with drawn on penises and shaving cream.

Although, he really pranked himself.

__________________

One of the funniest stories I recall was about this friend of my who came over to another budddy's crib just wasted as fuck. He brought with him cigars and smirinoff ice (lolololol bitch beverage). Anyways, when we smoekd the cigars, I don't remember seeing him exhale once. He would jsut swallow the smoke and wash it down with some smirinoff. hahahahha. ah shit. anyways, he went and passed out on the floor, and later that evening, my friend goes in the room to get something and says that other dude pucked all of the floor. We saw half chunks of tomatoes and his gum in perfect condition amongst the heap of puke. he also turned green.

we didn't fuck with him, but I put a trash can right next to his head and told him to practice what he would do if he needed to vomit again. so, the dude lifted his head and straight up head butted the edge of the trash can and then passed out. I almost died laughing.

In the morning, he bragged about how he beat everyone up and he was eating cupcakes. good times

__________________

Swallow cigar smoke and drink Smirnoff Ice? haha, what a dork.

__________________

haha, schoolboy error. I've never really enjoyed cigars. I get them on occaision, I tried a decent one once as well (cost 27 pounds ~ $50) but I've never really been impressed by this "savour the flavour" buisiness.
I have a friend who is notorious for throwing up from the nicotine rush if he smokes whilst drunk. 4 pints + 1 cigarette was his most shameful total. We used to tease him about that quite alot. He really likes cigars.

Back to news stories:

Fucking Russians:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/6990802.stm

Resilient hedgehog:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/6994966.stm

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/li...in_page_id=1770

czech racer has an accident, loses consciousness and wakes up with the ability to speak fluent english! fucking crazy.. it didn't last though, seemed to have disappeared as his head healed. if only we could get to our subconscious knowledge..we'd be a hell of a lot smarter. on the other hand..there could be other results like changes in personality and whatnot.

as far as i know its impossible to know something that you dont know. someone correct me if im wrong

haha i have a story from college that is kinda the opposite of that. my friend (the guy that made an account: thedreadedspank, and only posted once.) he was passed out in his bed, and one of my friends and i (both drunk) decided to fuck with him and we took just about everything we could find in the room and put it on the bed on him..so when he woke up, there were chairs, empty pizza boxes, bottles, books, etc. all around and over him. must've been fun to deal with when he woke up...i didn't get to see that part.

another, not too crazy one, involved those same two friends. my friend that posted here was passed out after lots of drinking and smoking at basstendencies exgfs house..my other friend decided to fold up the couch bed with our other friend in it. i can't even imagine waking up in a fucking couch.



well he had been learning it..so he was at least familiar with some, and obviously didn't remember all that he had come across. information gets stored in your brain though, and you can't necessarily remember them. connections to bits of info get old and "weak" causing you to not remember them. what most likely happened is that the accident really fucked up his memory and suddenly he could get to info in his unconscious area.

if he lived on some remote island and never even heard a word of english, then you are right, he wouldn't have been able to do what he did.

events of one night 3 years ago.

party at my buddy's cottage which is about 2 hours drive from where we lived. We had the party there because there was no furniture, so easy to clean, nothing to break. So a bunch of people (50? 60? 70?) leave at about 8, and we arrive at the cottage around 10.

there was a guy there named ryan. Now, we all arrived at 10pm, the same time, and somehow he was already drunk off of his 1 smirnoff ice (hahahaha). He was with 2 ugly girls who convinced him that he should hook up with paris hilton. He told me this. 20 minutes later, he was convinced he was paris hiltons boyfriend. 20 minutes later, paris hiltons girlfriend. another 20 minutes later, he believed he was paris hilton. At about 11:15 or 11:30, he passed out in the middle of the biggest room in the house, which everybody was in. Somebody found purple sharpies. He was stripped down to his underwear, and every inch of his body had something drawn on it (except his dick). I specifically remember boobs, unibrow, an icecream factory on his back, hitler mustache, lipstick, eyes on his eyelids, the fuckin WORKS. He woke up later (dont know specific time, it was dark, i was really high) and wandered around looking for his clothes, found them, got dressed, passed out again. Then he woke up again at 8am to go to work and walked outside
"what the fuck is this shit on my arms! what the fuck did you do!"
"hey ryan, look under your shirt"
"HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK! I HAVE WORK IN AN HOUR!"
"yeah... its on your back too... and face... and neck..."
"fuck fuck fuck fuck"
yeah pretty much like that.
Same night, this other dude who we'll call M decided to be badass, load up on a 40 of jack daniels and 5 primetimes, he was cool. After he finished the neck of the JD, and maybe 2 ounces more, he decided "hey, i want some E right now" and proceeded to ask our drugdealer of the night for E. She sold him 1 pill for 40$, he took it, and in exactly 5 minutes, he puked everywhere and passed out.

Story of how i got with my girlfriend. I asked her out, she rejected me. Party that weekend, i got smashed, hooked up with some random girl, got head in the bushes, came back, made out with my now girlfriend infront of girl who just blew me. I asked her out later that week, she said yes.

My 19th birthday (last one, i promise). I went to a bar (6pm), got smashed. Went to a stripclub (10pm), got a lapdance. Went to a bar (12am), did some more irish carbombs. Big blank spot. Woke up in a cab (430am) infront of my house. Woke up next day at 1pm my boss calling me wondering where the fuck i was for work, i got out of bed to get dressed, face planted infront of my mom, still drunk.

__________________

40$!!!! FOR A E PILL?!?! SOOOO EXPENSIVE....its usually 10$ and even less

__________________

I KNWO! she got it for 7$ thats the best part. M was a coool guy.... reaaalll cool

__________________

cool? he passed out 5 mins after take the pill!!!!! and having a single letter as a nickname isn't cool...LOL

__________________

LOL @ OJ.

http://edition.cnn.com/2007/US/law/...ef=mpstoryemail

__________________

Haha

I saw that on the news a few days ago. Laughed my ass off when they interviewed him.

haha. What a smartass.

__________________

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/...ire/6999470.stm


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3794479.stm

__________________

That is abosutely hilarious.

That's fucking awesome.

__________________

Wow, very interesting! Explanation, Jim?

__________________

Sexual Assault? THAT KID'S A PIMP!

Can't wait to see how he'll turn out..

__________________

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20812414/

I lol'd.

__________________

__________________

Heard about this in my poly sci class, weird how they started on his face first.

__________________

Come on man you really laughed about that?

__________________

thats fucking disgusting...

__________________

I agree with you, that isn't 'strange, cool' but it is definitely fucked up, so it belongs here.

Man urinates on dying woman, declaring it 'YouTube material'

http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadlin...rinates-on.html

Fucking hilarious.

Bloody hell!

what a shmuck

LOL.

__________________

LOLL he's the shit

__________________

Something about that story rubs me the wrong way. That guy is a cunt, hopefully he gets fucked nine ways to sunday by the court.

Definetly fucked.

Anyway: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c...34D56.DTL&tsp=1

"He also doused her with a bucket of water and covered her with shaving cream."

WTF?

__________________

http://www.abajournal.com/news/fire...r_court_mishaps

Double post I know but I had to post this.

Timedragon....

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news...n_hospital.html

LMAO...

__________________

loll....anyways these 2 bands sucks

__________________

Nu-metal musician are just like rappers.

My step-dad was arrested this morning while doing his daily jog. He usually runs a few miles at 4a.m.(we live on the bad side of town) so he carries a stick with him, it was a wooden plunger stick exactly 6 inches in length. An officer pulls him over while he was jogging and charges with a $300 ticket, plus he has to attend court which has at least a $125 fee.

Is it just me or is this town fucked up?

__________________

That's crazy.

That's fake. Check out how poorly written and generally incoherent the article is. Or note that it's listed under 'South Asia,' while the BBC considers Cambodia and Laos to be 'Asia-Pacific' countries. Or take a look at the url of the site and compare it against any BBC online story, all of which are hosted by www.bbc.co.uk rather than 65.127.124.62. Or consider the claims made in that article with the thinking part of your brain for, say, a split second (thirty seconds for Requiem). No matter what examination you put to it, the results are the same.

I went to submit that article to Reddit. Then decided to see if it had already been submitted, surely enough it had, and the comments proved it's existence to be fake.

"We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."


LOL...yeah i think its fake too i never really believed in u.s news

__________________

Yeah I forgot to include that I wasn't completely confident in its legitimacy. in fact, come to think of it I really don't know why I posted it either...

__________________

Don't really know if the link I'm posting belongs here or not.

http://www.copswritingcops.com/home.html

http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadlin...r-patrol-d.html
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Find...24361&From=News

rofl http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/chimp_challenge

__________________

Woman 'miraculously' grows a penis

Peanut butter disproves evolution ...This isn't really news, but still... wtf?

__________________

She got a surgery, its physically impossible to get a dick ''miraculously''



dumbest things I ever heard....and people pay these scientist to do stupid research like that.....those everyone dont give a fuck

__________________

That's the most ridiculous argument for creationism i've ever seen.

Ha, there's another video that claims bananas disprove evolution.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?d...410612081345878

I think the banana part starts around the 3:30 timemark. And it also has that kid from Growing Pains if you remember that show.

http://www.bangkokpost.com/breaking...s.php?id=122211

The headline is what is great about this one.

The newspaper reported Kear's last words as being "don't worry - it's nothing a drink can't fix" before he succumbed to the cobra's venom. .....I really imagine this being gra's last words...lmao

__________________

haha truer words have yet to be spoken. well..i guess that guy said it.

those anti evolution and anti atheist videos crack me up. especially the one with kirk cameron. my favorite line "behold, the atheists nightmare." as the guy pulls out a banana. they say the banana had to be designed by a designer because it's just too perfect for us to eat. hell, it has notches in the perimeter instead of being round and smooth..it fits right into our hand. there's even a tab on the you can pull down and it opens perfectly.

i guess they never saw bananas like the one i had with my dinner tonight..the kind that the top part is fucked and some spots on the side open up..so you have to go down to the base of the tab then rip it in half to start eating it like normal.

the peanut butter argument is a new one to me though..

damn, how stupid can people get!? they didn't think they'd catch a lot of shit for this? it's a shame people that retarded are teaching children.

to be fair, they didn't say "defend the enslavement of the black race."


why does everyone assume that salves have to be black? you racists.

__________________

American History....Fuck NJ making my state look bad and we didn't do shit. "Open a new plantation in SC" ....

actually i don't care i would own one.

__________________

Quoted from the child in the article- "Slave labor is the way to go because slaves aren't paid, so all money is profit."

Crapy slogan, I could come up with a better one than provided.

Heres some slogans a which a member from Reddit made-

"My Nigger grows 'em Bigger!"
"Slavery: The Other Black Market."
"The touch, the feel of cotton. The bane of black people's lives!"




Another reason to hate Bush: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071003...T1DASUoIPOs0NUE

He's on a veto rampage.

__________________

Wow again....

__________________

Just saw that on the news, fucking peril all American schools are in.

haha, stop talking like you've just finished a Tolkien novel.

__________________

Who's to say I didn't.

Unicorns DO EXIST!!!

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/articl...80&in_page_id=2

__________________

OH EM GEE

__________________

Haha! Yeah right... he probably doesn't even have kids

__________________

That's outrageous and has also happened to me.

While in 4th grade my dad paid a visit to the elementary school which I was attending. During recess he decided to pay me a visit, we lived close to the school at that time, so it didn't affect his schedule one bit. In the process of greeting me he was interrogated and lead off campus by a facility member leaving me on the playground with no ice cream money.

Of the 1,321,851,888 + chinese, it doesn't suprise me that one of them grew a horn..:P

haha, I was thinking the same thing when I saw that.

http://timesonline.typepad.com/comm..._is_so_muc.html

__________________

likely cover story. we'll be seeing him on to catch a predator soon enough.

damn bass, that is pretty crazy. why didn't they have this shit when i was a kid!? of course..i'd probably be a raging alcoholic by now if they did.

__________________

I thought you were already a raging alcoholic graf?

__________________

thats overrated, some politician wants a ban, so he still has to find out how, what, when etc. After that the government has to vote, and it'll probably be allowed just like hasj and weed

__________________

How typical... the media blowing yet another story out of proportion thank's for clearing this one up.

__________________

Don't kick the baby- swing it.

http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation...d101107.article

Something Timedragon would do.

http://www.wjxx.com/news/strange/ne...x?storyid=93511

Declining the use of a hooker is against the law?

http://reason.com/blog/show/122449.html

wtf....Here, Hookers services is 100$....american hoes are cheap!!

__________________

youi should see some of those hookers, fucking christ no teeth crack whores....escort service are best only like 140 especially when your out of town lmao...........

__________________

do you guys actually fuck whores? thats pretty sad...

__________________

LOL everyone know how much it costs for hoes.....i wont fuck any hookers, but everyone here know how much it is

__________________

A good escort here is $300 an hour.

__________________

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071016...cheney_obama_dc

http://www.catsandbeer.com/music/th...ite-people-love

__________________

This is fucking hilarious

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/ne...icle2678181.ece

__________________

Did you post the wrong link? I don't really see how that is "hilarious".

This one is just fucking stupid

__________________

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3730145&page=1

http://www.thedailygreen.com/2007/0...er-supply/7278/

__________________