http://www.sexinchrist.com/

Hahaha. Check out the other articles too.....

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Hurrah I can remove sweetcorn from behind the skin that retracts without feeling any guilt or fear that I will not be allowed in to the kingdom of heaven! Top stuff!

Now what does it say about lesbian cheerleaders in the shower????

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"As you point out, there is nothing homosexual about swallowing your own semen because it does not involve having sex with another man. However, if you do choose to swallow your own ejaculate, be careful not to get any on yourself or your clothes." Then it has the reference to Leviticus.

roflmfao This is horrendously funny!!!

Dahmer, we just had sweetcorn for dinner last night. I thought it tasted weird. eww

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Somewhere out there....there's a guy VERY close into talking some little hottie christian girl into giving up her backdoor.

Now that's he's made this page....fakeass christian sluts everywhere ARE going to fall for this and ASSume the position.

I say bravo to him.....stupid is as stupid does.


Run Forest....run!

heehee I hope Lemmiwinks bites 'em! I'm talking to a guy about incest. He's being sarcastic. I'm going to direct him to that link. I'm so bad!!

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hahaha Good find.

So everytime I do a girl up the whale eye, God smile down on me?

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lol How appropriate! The banner at the top said --Want to volunteer? We'll help you find whatever it is you want to do, today! volunteermatch

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Oh, how CLEVER!

Just talk to BURYyourDEAD's girlfriend. *cough*



when do you not excercise the opportunity to rag on her?

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When i'm not online.

Umm guys, the tampon talk was in the other thread. 'k?

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Zing!

heh.

I wonder how many dumb little catholic whores have given themselves up after this. I'm hoping many, and to even spread the link to one eventually.

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Think of all the hot Christian anal sex after this... all those girls realizing how many nights they've been wasting with their boyfriends...

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Actually...I took it as a compliment.

im going to the all girls christian school now, see ya in a few.

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damn, my girlfriend is going to hell anyway. Shit dude......

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hahahahahahahahah

http://img216.echo.cx/img216/4844/f...renthood1jr.jpg

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haha. Frankly, I'd rather fantasize a woman than "god."

The Scripture tells us that our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, and that everything that we do should glorify the Lord. While masturbation is not a sin, we must be careful to masturbate in a way that is respectful to our bodies, and respectful to God. Masturbation is a gift that we should not abuse. This means we should not masturbate to excess, or to the point where we injure ourselves. If you are masturbating until you are exhausted, or until your genitals are raw or bleeding, this is excessive, harmful, and not what God intended. If you masturbate compulsively to the point that it interferes with your work or your relationships with friends, family, and God, this is a problem. If you masturbate while indulging in impure thoughts (fantasizing about your neighbor’s wife, for example), this is also a misuse of God’s gift. Of course, this is not to say that masturbation in itself is wrong – simply that we must use masturbation in a way that is healthy and responsible.

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That's all correct....

Unless you're Catholic.
Then it's all wrong.

What-The-Fuck? This has got to be one of the funniest things I have read in my entire life. I was with a christian chick once, and she refused to let me sodomize her. Hehe, yeah.

Did you have long hair then?

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Of course I did. See, thing is...it was dark in the room and I was drunk. My long hair probably scared her off though, I haven't seen her in months. That's what I get for being 'boganized.'

I was teasing you actually. You didn't have to tell me your sordid tale of lustful passion, but, anyways, wth is "boganized."

I'll probably regret asking that as much as asking what MILF meant.

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Yeah I probably shouldn't have. Bogan's are white trash people. It's an Aussie/New Zealand term.

Mmmm, did you used to play guitar for Korn??? Hahahaha!
I hear Brian has Had Jesus tattooed on his hand to stop himself having one off the wrist!!!
http://www.headtochrist.com/

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KNEES

I love you for posting that.

btw:

http://ticom.tyumen.ru/jokes/itsasony.jpg

and now for my comment on it to a friend:

GodspeedInDeath (10:20:12 PM): um, i don't entirely. [Post script: agree on it] But its a little better than some women making their own decisions.
GodspeedInDeath (10:20:17 PM): *coughALLISONcough*
GodspeedInDeath (10:20:29 PM): except the remote would say 'put clothes back on
GodspeedInDeath (10:20:34 PM): and 'no, don't do that!'

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Oh good, this means I can be a christian and still have anal sex!

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That is quality signature material.

I'm loving the spelling error: 'Realy Off'

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It must be too early, because I thought you were talking about my post at first. And yeah, someone messed up on that.

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Actually I looked around the site and he sounds like he's doing some pretty remarkable things now. I saw that Tower of Power was mentioned in a submitted thread and my friend said there's an article in GW about that guy, JR Goldman, so that's pretty cool.
I really don't know much about Korn except for hearing a few songs occasionally, but this guy sounds like someone who's really making a difference in India and elsewhere. God bless him.

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those other ones are great too.

I will masturbate for the glory of god!!!

I should date a guy that looks like Jesus....so when we're screwing...I can scream...

"I gots the lord in me.....hallelujah!"

you stoned?

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You have a Dr. Seuss character in your avatar and you're asking her that?

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haha shutup

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oh wow....

i find only 1 downside to this... now that sodomy isnt a sin, i dont want to do it anymore
this makes me sad... now i have to find another way to sin to fill this gap that sodomy used to fill.

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uh.. vaginal?

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not as much of a sin as sodomy used to be.... im thinking ocular.

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huh.. stick your dick in her ear? haha i cant think of any

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it would be sad if somewhere in the world, somebody was able to do nasal sex.

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Oh, heck, you could practice freaky circus secks with underage orangutans. No wait. Wasn't that how AIDS started with something like that?

You could start counterfeiting. It's illegal and profitable 'til you get caught.

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loose nostrils

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secks?

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Yeah.

I've been accused of having a nose big enough to smell the oil refineries overseas so the nose remarks doesn't cut it.
BUT I knew a couple crazy Nam vets who were Marine Reserves and the one was missing an eye from a straifing run while he was on a stretcher from another injury. Mitch used to take his eye out and Steve would stick his finger in the socket to show people how deep it went in. He'd drop it in peoples' beer at the bar and gross people out. They were 2 of the scariest people I ever met, but they were cool. Not people to have upset with you.

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Wait a minute. Did you have to say it like that?????




Well, don't try carrots or pool pumps. I just read an excerpt from a book today by the guy who wrote fight club and neither was a pretty picture unless you want to see your own innards.

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Uh, you go do that then.

I'm sure she sits on dick during her days off.

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I had this girl once swear I was God... and really she meant it! Freaked me out but I didn't miss a beat.

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About a week ago when I first met a friend of a friend at his house, his mother yelled "Jesus!" at me.

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I know! What the hell do you do in a situation like that?

I just kept going like it was nothing.

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Meh, I just felt like god for a second...then fell back to reality.

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My hubby was at a restaurant for a union meeting once and went in the restroom to use the urinal. He paid no attention to the guy that came in next to him til the guy said hello to him. When he looked up it was Jesus and startled him. He asked him if he did something wrong and the guy just laughed. Apparently the cast party from an Easter program was at the same restaurant.

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Ya...I must be a slut or something.....how dare I say such a thing.

The thing that sets you apart from all the other chicks is the fact that you play guitar. And on top of that you claim to be a metal chick. I wish more chicks around here were cool, I have to deal with generic preppy chicks. They always end up hating me alot to.

Bia is a rare one. She was cool from the get-go.

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Yup, she is.

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"Jesus needs $5."

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I don't think I could get a cult following from my penis. That would mean building it up to a rep I'm not so sure that it could survive. It is best to leave it as an underground pleasure

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ive been told i look a bit like jesus.

apparently, long, dark, straight hair and a beard = Jesus

Guide to starting your own Cult. [Taken from the werd - when there was shit on it]

So you say you want to start your own cult? Well, it's actually easier than one would think, and it can be a lot of fun too!

To found your own cult, you need to have three main things :
1. Believers/Cult members.
2. A reason for starting the cult i.e. aliens are coming to pick us up in so many years, or something.
3. A strange omnipotent leader, that only you have contact with.

Why would anyone believe ME?

Everyone needs something to believe in, it's just that most people believe in what was presented to them at a young age i.e. religion. No matter how much a person thinks that they don't believe in anything, they still have beliefs.

Two thirds of the world's population believes in a god that they cannot see, they have no proof it exists, and the only way that they get to find out is to die. Though people are natural sceptics, some just have blind faith. Avoid the ones with blind faith, as they will most likely not lose it, unless you prove a good enough point. On the other hand, sceptics are prime targets, because they somewhat believe in their god, but are in doubt. All you have to do is give them something more pleasant to believe in, something better to look forward to, and a little bit of proof wouldn't hurt either. The best types of people to aim for when recruiting are those that are weak of mind, like Goths, Punks, and Americans. Go after the panhandlers, offer them a place to sleep and then brainwash them into believing you. The weaker minded the person, the more likely they'll be able to be tricked into believing whatever story you concoct. The more socially outcast a person is, the better they would be for your society.

Why would anyone want to join MY cult?

Well friend, you have to make them want to join. Even though most of your members will be weak minded and won't question anything you say after they've been recruited, you will end up with a few smart ex churchies that may ask questions. Now questions are a bad thing for any religion or belief. If your worshippers somehow find out anything you say is untrue, they will lose faith in you, and go to some other cult. People that ask questions should be dealt with according to which ruling style you choose, but just so those questions never come up, think out your story in full.

When you think about it, you can make any story believable if you have enough uneducated Trekkie Toths around. A popular trend is to make up a story of aliens that will eventually take everyone to a better place on a certain day 2 years down the road or something. i.e. Heaven's gate, and the Waco Texas suicides. Or you can also just use a popular slogan or a general idea to make people want to be part of your cult, such as Subgenius's format. "If you feel out of sorts, like you don't belong and that everyone else is weird or strange, you're right, you are part of a new beginning and you are better than them."

If you intend on using your cult scam for monetary gains, I suggest the alien planet method, as you will need lots and lots of the believers money to build your space ship.*wink* *wink* If you just plan on getting them to commit mass suicide, then any old belief will do.

Omnipotent Leaders

Every good cult has an omnipotent leader. Christianity has god and Jesus, Buddhists have the Buddah, and Americans have Johnny Cash. All you need to do is invent a strange alien leader with some stupid ass name like "Zordox" and then all you have to do is mention his name whenever people question you. i.e. "Sir why are we forced to wear these revealing clothes and pleasure you orally for hours on end? How is this going to bring us to a better world? Shut up baby, it's the will of Zordox. Oh and Zordox wants you to stop scraping your teeth against my shaft" Believe it or not, it really IS that simple. If you're in an area that doesn't have many UFO believers, you can always just say you're either working for god, or satan, whichever suits you.

Tyranny? Or Benevolence?

If you are wondering whether to rule in fear, or rule out of love, then you are not alone. Many people choose the fear method, only to take it too far, yet many people lead and want their peoples love so much that they deviate from the original plan of either stealing your cult members money, or making them commit mass suicide.

If you're planning on the tyrannical method, make sure to have lots of executions (depending on the number of worshippers you have). If someone questions you, execute them. If someone betrays you, execute them. Catch the drift?

If you choose benevolence over tyranny, then you have to cut down on the executions. Get your people to love you out of respect, do kind deeds and show that you're a good person. If you see one of your recruits having doubts, tell him how much of a value he is to the team, and how good a job he's doing, the dumb fuck will feel proud and most likely give you a toothless smile. Notice how I said cut down on the executions? That's because, in my opinion, executions are required to hold any position of leadership, because even though you're benevolent, people will still question you.. And we can't have that. If you think it would help to maintain your good image, you can always blame the executions on "Zordox" or whoever.

So, now that you've read the basics on starting your own cult, you can have as much fun as you want! If you do some research, and learn a little hypnotism as well, you can have a riot. Get people do to stuff that they would never do, get people to love you and worship you as a god, get your cult to do medieval battle with your buddies cult, trade sex slaves, well you get the idea.

Enjoy.

Oh, I almost forgot, there's one more thing. If you drag it on too long, people will get tired of believing you, and turn to more conventional beliefs such as religion. In other words, this cult WILL come crashing down on you, but you usually have 2 to 3 years to enjoy it, so whatever you're doing with these people, make sure it's done within that time, then get the hell outta dodge

I would only need 4, maybe 3 minutes if I had to hurry

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I don't know any chick guitar players, especially metal ones, but that would definitly add to a their attractiveness.

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Jesus was a black man!

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Jesus looked more like the 9-11 hijackers than the blue eyed hippy with long flowing hair most christians were raised believing in.

Tis a fact.......well...if he even ever existed that is.

hahaha

Yes, because the fact of the matter is, what he looked like is much more important than what he preached.

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It's significant because the misperception of what he looks like tends to cloud what he taught. If various bible-thumping racists were forced to acknowledge that the incarnation of God on Earth wasn't white, they might have to rethink their value system and better understand what he was teaching. Or they could just reject him in favor of the white gods of their European forefathers. It's not like the teachings were as important to them as the ability to say 'I'm a good Christian' and act moralistically. You can probably do the same thing with various pagan beliefs.

Of course, it shouldn't matter in a perfect world, but in a perfect world none of those aforementioned bible-thumping racists would exist and Jesus would never have needed to come down and redeem everybody.

Dude, seriously, the whole trying-to-mock-Bia thing was mildly amusing at the start, but now you're just being irritating I've got no issuses with you, but its getting silly now.

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Everyone has noticed...it's no big deal really.
He joined the ranks of Rapture and they are simply boys...venting their sexual frustration.
Let them have their fun....I got over it recently...and now simply laugh.
In fact...I look forward to them putting their feet in their mouths.....I know from multiple PMs....I'm certainly not alone in this line of thought.
I have had to clear room in my PM box 2 times in the past two months due to TWO kids comments and the support members give me to not worry about them.

It's all kool and the gang.

yeah.. well rapture pretty much looks at every one of your posts in hope to have something 'clever' to respond to it with. he is fucking annoying me with that

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Hey, hey, now. Talk about anal sex or get the hell out. For example:

'Rapture pretty much looks at every one of your posts in hope to have something 'clever' to respond to it with. He is fucking annoying me with that. If he keeps it up I'll probably introduce the tip of my penis to his prostate.'

haha.. sorry to get off topic. i personally don't like the idea of anal sex.

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Giving...recieving...or either?

giving: no. receiving: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im straight!!

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Take it up the ass and prove it. If you're really straight, you won't feel anything when you take it up the ass.

i'd perfer to stay away from penises other then my own

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If you're giving it to a gal.....you're straight.

Quote from King Missle...

"Having your girl strap up and ram your ass is less gay then two guys sitting around talking about straight sex."

Would you bang a girl (or guy) up the ass if s/he had no legs?

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i know giving is straight.. i just don't like it

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FAG! QUEERMO! THIS GUY WON'T TAKE IT UP THE ASS, HE'S A SISSY-MARY QUEEN!

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Just bite on the pillow and grunt....hurts WAY less.

I promise.

But what if your taking it somewhere else than the bedroom, ey? what are you going to bite on then?

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the cat?

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I'd like to sodomize a girl.

Yeh, i need teh sexzors cuz i am teh lozer!! lol \m/

Fixed.

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not quite

try again asshole

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Wow, that was really clever. I could have never done that. I mean, it's amazing how you took my quote, put in your own little touch of senseless fabrication and tried to be funny with it - However, you sucked at being funny.

Staying on topic :


Conversation between me and a homophobic redneck ---


Redneck : "Well, gawddamnit, I hate me some mutherfuckin' fags!"
Me : "So you hate gay people?"
Redneck : "Hell yeah I hate gay people! Them and their fuckin homo buttsex bullshit is screwin up America!"
Me : "Let me ask you an off-question : Have you ever once enjoyed taking a shit?"
Redneck : "Kind of a weird question, but yeah. Does'nt everyone?"
Me : "I am going somewhere with this, I promise. So you do like taking a shit."
Redneck : "Yeah."
Me : "Exactly. Inside the anus are feely receptors, and whenever something rubs against them, they send 'feel-good' signals to the brain."
Redneck : ".................................."
Me : "What's even better, ever notice how the bigger the long turd you're pumping out, the better it feels?"
Redneck : ".......................................................... "

I think I caused him quite a bit of mental anguish with that one.

Typing like that you are trying to say?

You do that often....is that code?

It's not code, it's a way of saying "I can't retort in a witty fashion."

What the fuck????!!!! I need to start checking out the local church.