Anybody have any advice for me. I have to take a drug test in 2 weeks and I have smoked marijuana. Any advice that you could give me would be great. Thanks.

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don't smoke marijuana?

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Don't listen to what you've heard, not much you can do can help get shit out of your system. Shit like drinking lots of water can dilute your piss for a short time, but you'll be pissing clear and it'd be obvious and you'd have to retake it. Taking Niacin (like 1000mg's a day, which makes your skin burn like a motherfucker for a short time) helps sometimes. It's helps speed up the metabolism and the body can remove the THC metabolites quicker, but it's not guarenteed. 2 weeks is a good amount of time, especially if youre skinny since pot sticks to fat cells. But all those system cleaners and myths about eating certain things, it's all bullshit.

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You got 2 weeks? You can pull it off but not by much. Drink lots of water and work out everyday. Sweat the fucking shit out and KEEP DRINKING WATER! At least 64 oz a day minimum. Nothing but water and working out will help you.

And don't smoke nothing else

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Drinking all that water is pointless, THC isn't water soluble, it's fat soluble. it doesn't matter how much water you drink, you'll only torturing yourself and risking water poisoning

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Just read ths dude:
http://www.cannabis.com/usage/dtfaq.shtml

But he will never want to smoke again. Besides, you got to work out to get it out of your body and if you smoke pot you might forget to drink water if someone doesn't remind you. You need to drink 64 oz of water everyday and you have to drink 1 1/2 gallons in a hour to even hope to poison yourself with water. You will first in most cases.

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I'll sell you my pee.. if they say you have AIDS dont worry..

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Drink plenty of caffiene, and take vitamin b12 and creatine before you take the piss test. You can obtain both from red meat, namely, beef. This will help keep your piss yellow. An easier way to do this is to empty out 3-4 bottles of eye-drops and have a buddy piss for you. Fill the fuckers up and strap em to your nutsack. If you have no nutsacks strap it to your inner thigh.

Worked for me.

If you want to flush though, drink plenty of duiretic fluids, like caffine and cranberry juice. Niacin works, but you have to take a shit load and most places test for it. Niacin can also cause brain damage in high doses, or so I have heard.

Thanks guys, it's going to be hard to quit smoking pot for 2 weeks but I can do it.

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No.

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stupid hippie..

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I'm no hippie, I just love weed.

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gag urself for a while, drink plenty of H2O2 that will clean u like a nasty cut. its so crazy it might work

Lotsa vitamins (B is good), heaps of water, you need to be pissing like a horse. Lots of exercise.
If its a blood test or fat test you are fucked, but you should be able to pass a test if you drink lots and exercise lots in 2 weeks.
If worst comes to the worst, you can buy synthetic urine online. Or get a (clean) mate to piss in a cup for ya, and sneak it in.

Good luck

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have u seen that movie orange county? with jack black

I'll tell ya what works perfectly. Not that I've ever done it
But, if your old enough (18+) and live close to a local 'head shop', buy the ready clean (drink to mask/flush your pee clean), or whatever brand their selling. They work almost flawlessly. One friend even used it to get past a hospital drug test. Most cost $25 - 30, but price may vary around your neck of the woods. Hope this helps... Enjoy!

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You Americans and your silly (drug) tests. What is next, they test what kind of music you listen to? How much tv you watch?

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Personally I wouldn't care to have the operator of a Lifeflight helicopter or my surgeon doing any type drugs. I wouldn't want people making life/death decisions doing it either. There's a time and place for things and some things just don't go with it.
I know some jobs can be done flawlessly when a crew is smoking pot, but not everyone is going to really care or know what they're doing. I know of a whole department that got busted on a Navy ship back when they were first phasing them in. They had a top notch station, but they all got busted for cannabinoids. They had restrictions to the ship as well as loss of a stripe. I can also see why it was done though.

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I think I read somewhere that as many as 1 in 3 service men who came back from Vietnam had a drug problem/habit!

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why dont you own up to being a pot-smoking mentally-dependent trend follower

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if you live near a shop that sells bongs and pipes, you can probably find a quick flush. i used it before and i passed. they are pricy sometimes, but they work if you use them right. the one i bought was a large chewable pill that you need to drink 32 oz of water with, piss 3 times before the test, take the test within 6 hours of taking the pill. I thought id never piss 3 times in one hour, but damn, i did. I think the pill makes you piss more too. there are other, more effective/expensive flushes though. there is a drink but that one costs about $60. good luck

Drink alot of water in the next two weeks. Top off with some Cranberry Juice, and you should be good to go. have at least 3 glasses of each a day, and 4 of each on the day of the test. Good luck.

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Actually working out would help, anything to speed up that metabolism and burn fat. So if you're really dedicated, instead of eating 1 or 2 large meals a day, eat 4 or 5 small ones throughout the day. It'll get your metabolism a lot faster. Like i said, you can drink 2 gallons of water a day and it won't help you clean any faster. You will dilute your piss (pissing clear) and nothing would come up in the short time it's diluted, but as soon as it goes back to normal, the metabolites show up. Also, make sure you piss at least once before you go, the first piss of the day has the most metabolites. And use mid stream, the beginning and end of the stream has the most metabolites. Trust me on this shit man, i've been there before and i've studied up on this shit a fucking lot

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Thanks, to the people who actually gave me advice instead being an asshole. To the people who were dicks to me, fuck off. I don't need your stupid ass comments.

Have a nice day.

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You gotta watch messing with B vitamins because you can speed up your heart too much with those. If you go the cranberry juice route make sure it's got a good quantity of actual cranberry in it. A lot of have a lot of sweeteners in them and not much cranberry. I've heard so many different methods over the years it isn't even funny. Drinking diluted vinegar was an oldie that I don't think ever really worked.
Well, good luck anyways. Besides my health that's the main reason I quit. When I try to get a job again it's one less thing to worry about.

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there is a condition called hyponatremia. You know, the opposite of dehydration. Athletes are most prone to it. Drinking too much water, blood plasma increases thereby diluting the salt content of the blood. And when THAT happens, water enters the body cells which then swell etc. And obviously when they swell they expand. Brain damage, paralysis, coma, death.

So, no, don't drink as much water as you can.

I smoked 2 days before a test, years ago. I drank not even (2) 16.9 ounce bottles of water right before it just because I was nervous. Turns out I was pissing straight water, because the test came up negative. I don't know how advanced of a test you are getting, but if its a disposable one, don't sweat it.

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don't drink too much water, work out and drink cranberry juice

the cranberry juice method is used by every weed smoker i know and none of them have a failed a test yet. Drink up 2 cartons a day and a healthy (don't over do it) amount of water. Do some weights or go running.
Does the cranberry just mask the weed or what?
Be careful not to make yourself ill.

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Cleanses your kidneys.

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i still say you go with the detox. thats what its made for, and its a lot easier than working out, or buying a bunch of cranberry juice.

True. You can get those cleaning kits for $50+. That sounds a lot more worth it than drinking water and cranberry juice, and having to piss 12 times a day.

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If you are dedicated and willing to spend the $$, do both.. it will maximize your chances!

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good old H2O2 should do the trick.

If left stagnant, H2O2 will turn into water anyway. The electronegativity of oxygen isnt strong enough to bond 2 oxygen molecules together for long, so one eventually just drifts off.

You should drink rat poison, it'll kill you, then you won't have to take the drug test. The only reason anyone should need to get drug tested is when applying for a job, any other reason means you're irresponsible enough to get caught smoking.

What is the point of smoking pot anyways? The high you obtain from smoking marijuana is your brain not functioning properly. Basically, you pay money to hold yourself back in life both mentally and physically. Pot is terrible for your lungs.

Hopefully it's not a blood test, then i'm fucking screwed.

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HAHAHA! Yeah, I never understood stoners. Even when I was a stoner I never understood or even like the tred/culture. Luckily enough, I realized pot is fucking retarded and everything that has to do with weed culture is fucking faggishly gay.

I dont do it anymore. I never understood people who smoked waaaay too much. Most of my friend smoke heaps, and by themselves.
I always thought of it as a social thing, never did it alone once. Fuckin everyone smokes pot here, Good old green New Zealand.
I came to realise i didnt really enjoy being high, it was more sitting around in a group and passing a doobie or bong around. It was just fun smoking it. And i have nothing against it at all, i mean everyone to themselves. But I found in myself and some friends that you can become an antisocial, lazy cunt (after a lot of use) and it becomes a habit, its not chemically addictive, but you feel as though you 'need' it.

I dont really see whats so great about it now, theres a lot more mind expanding shit out there which is amazing.

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Thats very interesting actually Nihilist, i'd never heard of that before..

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Hence why athlethes drink salted water

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Never knew that either..

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What athletes drink salt water?

Salt water would dehydrate you...

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Doesnt the salt work much like an electrolyte? I know when Denny was in the Indian Ocean and working in Mach 1 where the boilers were they passed out salt tablets because it was about 130 degrees F. there. I'm not a salt user at all, but since I was severely dehydrated and had to get multiple IV's of saline once I've been using salt a little more when it's hot out. I don't ever want to go through that again.
The runners in marathons now aren't getting water all the time like they used to because they found out that's why some were getting so ill during races. Too much water. And a guy in California died from a frat hazing or whatever you call it where they made him drink too much water.

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Salt retains water

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That's just sad.