I am not sure if this is the place to post this, but I need help.... My school is having a "talent show" and me, a drummer, another guitarist, a vocalist and a bassist are wanting to play. The problems arise here: I have never played with any of them before; the bass player has NEVER played before; the drummer doesn't have a double bass; I can't do backup vocals; we don't have a song picked out; and we have to perform in two weeks. We want to play something heavy but that people will recognize, doesn't have a double bass, and doesn't require a bass player from hell. Anyone have any suggestions for songs, advice, etc.?

smells like teen spirit

I would suggest "Black Sabbath"..anything from them..."Iron Man",
Black Sabbath", Paranoid...those are relatively easy to play..
Then again..even Sabbath may be considered heavy..If I had a choice..I wouldn't play at all...I'm a black/death metal fan..Something old school for sure..

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Wesley Willis - The Vulstures Ate My Dead Arse Up

i would go for iron man as well.

Your bassist is going to need time to learn how to play bass before he learns how to play a song with a whole band. 2 weeks for everyone to learn their part....hmm.
Play Greenday-Brain Stew its as simple as possible and its BR00TAL

Let's see... something classic. Judas Priest has some nice, easy songs. But i'm not too sure if the vocalist can do this

Maybe something classic from metallica?

And the sooner you have the song picked out, the sooner (and better) your bassist can learn to play. Just let him play the stuff over and over.
If you have never played with other people before, I have one thing to ask you: did you practice with a metronome? If not, its not too late...

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i d actually have a practice or jam session first to see if there any good. Then i d possibly think about playing some sabbath, zeppelin or somet real slow like some paradise lost, my dying bride, katatonia etc . If all else fails and u come to the gig without being any good, just dime everyones amp volume, dime the pa, and get your drummer to do some blast beats and bring the place down

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Metallica, for Whom the bell tolls.

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Not the heaviest, but certainly recognisable, something from Rammstein- If the Vocalist doesnt mind the german

Otherwise, as other people have said, go for Sabbath.

Or perhaps some Black Label Society.

yup, that's an awsome song and not too hard.

you could also go for Pantera - Cowboys From Hell

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I have the perfect song for you. There was an entire thread written about this song it's so fucking sweet: http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19626

But seriously, old Sabbath like Paranoid is ideal and people will actually recognize it and get into it. As far as the bassist goes, just let him know that if he's not up to snuff by showtime he's out. Playing without a bassist is pretty common and no big deal in most cases. If you have a super heavy crunchy sound on your guitar you would drown him out anyway.

If it was me, I would do Hellhammer's "Triumph of Death" just to freak everyone out with the wailing screams and super doom factor. Plus it's very easy to play if you have a good natural sense of rhythm, style, and dynamics.

Good Luck...

How about you scrap the band, and play BLS' Spoke in the wheel? That song might perhaps get you a few girls...

I agree with the Greenday, Nirvana comments.....you guys could have a few from them down easily.....just practice your asses off.....do the same song 20 times in a row before breaking......play it so many times it disgusts you....LOL
Greenday tunes.....I can play them usually before the song ends upon trying to play along with them for the first times.
Of course....I'm speaking only from a guitar players perspective.....I know nothing of drumming/bass.

I'd pick suicide over a public display of my "talent" by playing Nirvana or Green day.

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Agreed. That's a bad career move if you're looking to impress the local hardcases with your brutalness...

However, if you're just looking to get laid and have no self respect, that might work...

Its not about impressing anyone, its about how I would feel stupid for playing such shit. And if you are playing music for girls, well that is just fucking sad and quite insulting to anyone takes music serious.

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Well I think we came up with something.... Our vacalist isn't ozzy, and we dont want to crucify his song, so we are doing our "rendition" of Crazy Train: Instrumental. And (don't laugh) Last Resort by Papa Roach. Something recognizable but not completely disgraceful.... dont hate

Damn...papa roach fuckin blows balls man.

I would've at least tried to get them to play Walk by pantera. Totally easy song. Oh well, looks like your mind is set. Have a good show dude.

PS - Tell us how it went when after you play!

Go with pantera...but if you want to be all popular with everyone and super simple, go with iron man.

Thye could always do "Living After Midnight" by The Priest.....I dont know of anyone that actually hates Judas Priest

All homophobes hate Judas Priest. So do "good" christians...