I am hoping you'll like this idea. It came from when I was talking to somone online and I had run out of things to say. I would say this : "I'll tell you a story." The story wasn't made up though. I would tell about things that had happened in my life. Imagine like some game or something, like an RPG say Diablo,, and you like walk up to, I dunno, a tavern owner, and you can get their whole life story about shit they've done.

I would like to hear biographies from you guys. Not only like a full biography though, just some short tales. Whenever you get that memory of something that you think "Hey, well that was just a totally cool/funny/odd/awesome thing I did". Type it in here.

This ain't no RTT though bitches. No random posting and bullshit, nothing off of target. I want this to be like a novel of entries on shit. Sure have some conversation about the stories, thats always cool. But don't go too ashtray. I mean astray.

so any way disregarding ^that post...is this like a roleplaying thing cuz that wud be pretty cool....or is this like the lets make a single thread where its just a continuous story

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So you just want a random array of short stories about characters in general?
If you wanted a continuous story you shold look through the FTT's. But they generally became fucked up as people put stupid things and then, more often than not, the world would spontaneously explode.
If you are after something semi-serious that I have written then I will have a look when I get home, as I may have some semi developed background I made for a DND character.

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i saw a guy getting his shit ruined by two other dudes. and i mean, a royal ass kicking.

i did nothing though, as it was late night and i was alone, so my mood to get spanked up wasn't very high.

that's all.

This weekend, me and my friends went to a local concert ( www.aarocknstuff.com ) . These guys put together great shows of emo, metal, and hardcore bands, especially the emocore stuff. Anyways, my friend just got his license and we went in his mom's mini-van. We left when this gay synth-pop band came on cuz the rest of the show was crappy. We went to McDonalds, and there were a bunch of nice cars lined up ready to go somewhere and race. My friend pulled up next to them while in the mini-van and started revving the engine. HA HA HA!! It was hilarious, but you really had to be there.

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heh...that sounds like something a bunch of drunk teenagers would do...

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sXe bitch. We're just stupid as fuck. Like, I tore of my armband, and where it ripped it looked like teeth and there were two holes above it, so I called him Jebediah and started makin' him eat all the McDonalds. Then, when we were goin' in my friends house I said "I've got a lot of shit to carry. Can someone hold my puppet?" I don't know why that's funny, but my friend like fell over laughing. That, and we were chillin' with me friend Mike, and he's got an identical twin, and I said, "I've got a twin too. It's a lady." and everyone started crackin' up. I don't know why it's funny, but it is.

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Haha Dungeons and Dragons!?

No, like this. I don't exactly want you're life story, It was a bad example.

*Originally Poseted by BOC
So you just want a random array of short stories about characters in general?

Yes, but true stories of stuff you have done. Just maybe you are surfing the web or listening to music and stuff, and then you might just think of something you did once, like this:

Ok so one time I WAS HANGING AROUND AT THE MALL, because that's what I enjoy doing. I was with my cousin who I only see 1 time a year if we are lucky, maybe more. I was also with my other cousin, the first cousin's brother. So it was me, Caleb and Gareth. So we went into Big W and we grabbed this trolley, and for about an hour me and Caleb got in [I guess we were about 12 or so ] and Gareth pushed us around really really fast [He was about 16 then]. So then, suddenly this police cop comes around and he started saying stuff like "Get out of the store or you'll be banned" so I said "Hey we are looking for something so don't tell us what to do" So he let it slide for about another 5 minutes until he told us more forcibly to get out.

So then we left but we kept the trolley. And so we have a fairly large mall for what the size of the city. We dragged the trolley as fast as we could around to this other complex in the same land area. This other complex, it has 2 entries or exits [however you look at it] and so from 1 side we went as fast as we could through one and out to the other, and then without warning Gareth let us go and out the exit we went, and so we flew through the door on this trolley and then fucking fast out off of the curb, and then the trolley rolled and slipped and we smashed onto the ground. I guess it was really really lucky there were no cars Hah it was really funny.

THis one time me and my band mates and some other friends were getting drunk. Then we talked to a Nez Peirce indian that was on acid about black magic. then i hooked up with an ugly chick, whilst shit faced. then i decided to drink some more, too much actualy. at this point i dont remember anything that happend that night, just what our drummer told me. the chick i hooked up with got arested because her parents were pissed that she was over there, luckily she was a drunk ass ho and was out front being a drunk so the cops didnt have to come in lookin for her. i guess after some more pot smoking and liquer consumption some people decided to leave. i stayed and cried about how the indians got screwed over by the white people. i woke up with the most blood shot eyes you will ever see and a sore nose(most likley from falling on my face) and vomit all over my bitchin, and faucking classic(15 years old) Killing Is My Buiseness Megadeth T shirt.

i tried to make that as short as possible

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1997
I had just turned 12 years old. Summer was upon us and my Mother had a college reunion in Carbondale Illinois. I was to go....much to my angst. Traveling with my mother equated to walking to hell while dragging a boulder. So I begged....to please stay with my much older sister for the 6 days the total trip would be. After some wheeling and dealing my sister agreed.....she was 26 and had her own place.
The reunion and visiting went as planned however upon returning to Fl my parents crested a hill on interstate 65 southbound in Tennesee and crashed into a minor wreck that had just happened only moments earlier. Both died and were burned so severely there was very little of them left.
My life (of course) was never the same. My sister ended up being my guardian.......she pissed through the very little life insurance money there was and we eventually ended up in a small crappy apt. I got my 1st job at 15 and through all this managed to do well in school.....I would have graduated with a 4.0 if not for my horrible spelling/grammar.
I'm proud of what I managed to pull off since then....I have spoiled friends that whine and booohoo and have never known the pain of losing a parent or wondering if they're going to eat Ramen noodles for weeks on end or if the power is going to be cut off because your guardian is an alcoholic dick chaser on a wreckless streak.
I rarely let the fact I almost went on the trip too bother me.....mostly...I miss my father dearly....hardly an hour passes without wondering...."What would he think...say...or do" when things in life arrise. He was my biggest fan....he loved me without reservation and with a pure heart. I always hated my mother and often wished for her demise......she was highly intelligent yet ruthless with a selfish streak........so it's prob obvious why I am One Screwed Up Individual.
Long story short.....tomorrow is a bigass mystery for any of us.

Bia/Victoria

Im sorry to hear that..

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Well shit.

I have no interesting stories of that nature. Thus the only moderately entertaining thing I can do is:
*bevis & buthead voice* heh heh heh, i live in victoria he heh heh*end voice*

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hahaha, THREE of us live in victoria, triso

my mate got in trouble for smarting off at a westy woman. he'd just started doing shelves at safeway, and i went there to keep him company and tease him about being a supermarket boy. this 40 year old westy bogan bitch goes up to my mate and goes in a typical whiny aussie voice, " 'SCUSE ME LOVE, COULD YA'Z TELL US WHERES THE CANNED FRUIT IS??"
my mate goes, "what am i, a psychic?"

That's sad. I grow up in southern IL. ( mostly Cairo and Marion ) and I went to college there too. SIU and JALC.

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That brought tears to my eyes. That's good that you know you were loved. I think that makes a world of difference.

I won't go on with my tale upon tale of weird shenanigans and heartbreak. So I'll just start at the beginning. I was conceived by someone. The cord was cut. And before it fell off my belly I was given to differnt parents. I have no background whatsoever. Believe me, not finding that out from my parents but from a neighbor made for some really trying times that only recently I've learned enough about how to deal with that situation. But I've been blessed with having my own sons as well as having a bunch that call me mom. That's very cool to me.

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Haha, i can relate. I was conceived by my parents, and what a man I was!...Oh, no....that was just the cord....nevermind. Many years passed, and here's sometihng that happened yesterday...

I walked into my dorm room after orchestra rehersal to find that there is a very disgusting smell present. Phew, my roommate had some fun while I was out--his girlfriend and he were napping. I ended up having to get lost for the rest of the night so he could finish what he started and air out the room. For two hours, I talked with this girl I had just met in a cafeteria. Then, when I came back, I found myself talking to these other people I sometimes hang out with--two girls and this guy. When we sorta ended, it was around 2am. I got my goodbye hugs from the women, and departed back to the room. THe air was much better, and I felt like hitting something cause I don't think I've ever talked that much in one day since a long time. End.

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I can imagine a panic stricken baby powers' when the cord fell off. Hey, maybe it wasn't the cord after all??? That may be why no nookie yet.

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Old Simpsons rule, new episodes dont.

Im at school right now, and my friends and i were hanging out in our music appreciation class. We were blowing the air horn i had recently bought in class for five minutes until this one black chick got tired of it and had her opinion voiced. So I yell my typical "Shut up" because shes an incessant (sp?) whiner about everything, and HAS to have her opinion about EVERYTHING in class (what clothes we wear, etc.) She screams at me and my friends, and this one bigass black dude approcahes. My friend being the touhg son-bitch he is

fuck the bell just rang, ill continue this later if i want

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why did you capitalize "One Screwed Up Individual"

I've got a nice story about one of the most fun 36+ hours of my life.

It was June, 2004. Final exams for all of my classes had taken place in early May, a full month ago, but when I came in for mine, my professor warned me that having missed the last class (and therefore not knowing entirely what to study) I would be ill-equipped to take the exam. I thought I could probably pass anyway, but decided to accept his generous offer of taking the exam at a later date because I really wanted to have a grade above a B instead of just passing the class. Well, he was going on vacation somewhere I forget, so the nearest date he could arrange for me was in June. Now, there's no way I'm going to complain about that. It gave me almost an entire month to study.

Well, finally, the day was upon me. It was June 2, 2004. Unfortunately, as some of you might remember, I have terrible insomnia. I had been up since around 11AM the day before, June 1. The test was scheduled 1PM. Having gotten no sleep the night before, I was finally starting to feel a little tired around 10AM. Too tired. While my mother was bringing my grandmother to visit the grave of her son and my mother's brother, I fell asleep on my mother's bed for about 30 minutes.

Finally, my mother got back around 11:30 and we left at noon. We got to my school around quarter to 1 and I waited for my professor. He was a little late and I started to get paranoid that he may have forgotten or that I was in the wrong building. Well, he did show up, he was only 10 minutes late, so no worries. I did the test, and despite being up for far too long, I did pretty damn well. I don't remember the exact grade, but it was better than 85 and worse than 95.

Now, I wanted to go home and go to sleep. But that was out of the question. I had one big chore I needed to get done. I needed to release some snakes I had caught in Taunton, MA a few weeks prior. Now, since my grandmother lives in Taunton, my mother planned on going to my grandmother's house and then we'd go to the wildlife reserve. Now, all day it had been beautiful, but right around the time we got into Taunton, the sky got overcast and it started raining a little. No worries, I have a penis and am therefore equipped to deal with harsh weather. Or so I told myself.

Well, I got in there, and within 10 minutes, I noticed a Chrysemys picta(painted turtle) in the middle of the path. Now, right now it's almost 5:30PM. I hadn't my sharpest wit about me. I was confused as to why the turtle was there, so I picked it up and put it in my coat pocket (it was raining) and figured I'd bring it back to the river on my way to release three of the snakes I had caught near enough the river.

Well, on my way there, I started seeing more turtles. At first it just baffled me even more. Then I noticed one turtle digging and that's when it hit me- this turtle belongs on the trail, dumbass- it's trying to find a suitable place to lay eggs!

So, I brought it back to where I found it. I took pictures of some of the turtles. I ended up seeing at least a dozen painted turtles as well as two Chelydra serpentina (common snapper) and a Terrapene carolina (Eastern Box Turtle). I also saw a snake, a Coluber c. constrictor
, but as two of the snakes I intended to release that day were of the same species and subspecies, I didn't consider it noteworthy enough to take a picture. Either that or it got away before I could. Whatever. For interest's sake, the other three snakes I was to release that day were all Thamnophis sauritus, or Eastern Ribbon Snakes.

It was one of the most amazing days I'd ever had. Unfortunately, I kept hearing thunder, and eventually saw a lightning bolt. No, not lightning flashing the sky, but an actual lightning bolt. It also started to downpour at this point. My mother was also waiting for me in the car, so I had to get going. I honestly wish I had more time to survey the area, because I was not actively looking for these turtles and only happened upon them. If I had the time to actively search them out, who knows how many I could have found? I also saw an osprey there that day, the only osprey I've ever seen my whole life.

Well, I got back into the car a very wet man. So wet my mother refused to allow me back into the car before she could put a blanket to sheild the seat from my moist self.

We got back to my grandmother's house, where I didn't have change of clothes. I just sat and watched TV for a little while in a vain attempt to dry.

Then we went to eat at my favorite restaurant, a Chinese Buffet place out in Raynham, MA, which is adjacent to and quickly accessible from Taunton. Despite the fact that it's Chinese buffet, it has other Asian foods, including, much to my delight every single time I go there, sushi. I love sushi. They also had crab that day. What a badass day.

Then I went back to my grandmother's house and my mom agreed to come get me the next day because I really wanted to sleep over. Now, I had caught a second wind a lot earlier in the day, before I hit the wildlife reserve to release the snakes, so I was feeling quite fresh. I couldn't go to sleep anyway, there was a Sox game on that night. Since they were playing on the west coast (Anaheim), it came on at 10PM instead of the usual 7PM for night games. Now, at this point, it's about 8PM. Luckily for me, ESPN classics was showing a really awesome baseball game from the mid 90's.

Well, the game finally came on, and it was fun, until I fell asleep an hour through, at 11PM. I intermittently awoke during the game, which I refused to shut off because I figured, well, even if I'm going to miss the game due to sleep, at least it will wake me up often enough for me to keep up with the score.

So, I woke up at 11AM on June 1. I finally fell asleep for the first time at 11PM on June 2. I had been up for 36 hours. I have pictures of some of the things that happened that day, mostly from the wildlife sanctuary, but also a couple I took while we were in Freetown for some reason. Oh, I remember, we were driving through the country to see if my grandmother could point out areas she remembered from her youth. You have to go through Freetown to get from Fall River to Taunton, anyway, so it wasn't really much of a detour.

Man, I wouldn't trade that day for the world.

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i got kicked out of a christian preschool for spraying like two kids in the face with cleaning chemicals, as well as being a general asshole, i was a bastard little kid

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hahahahah!

Sounds like a pretty awesome day, excluding the sleeping complications

It felt like The Thing To Do....


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Nice story Chris.

lmfao.

you're going to hell for that

Speaking of Christian schools...

In first grade at a Catholic School I decked a kid in the stomach for pulling me off of the monkey bars. I was deprives of recess for 2 weeks or so

I broke my finger on a slide in 3rd grade at school.

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I carved the Coca Cola logo on a church tabletop in sundayschool when I was 10....it looked so perfect...I HAD to show someone and got in BIG trouble.

I was about 15 and with a small group of friends....we all took our bicycles to the beach.....riding up and down the strip that runs along all day and into the evening.....around sunset we all did 2 hits of acid each......around 10:00 we were riding up on the pier....which was closed at 9:00 and these bicycle Police came up to run us off. All I heard was Bla bla ...blabla bla bla......so as we were leaving for some reason (drugs duhhh) the cops said "You all have a good night now" and I replied "Sure......see you later in the funny papers"

I have no clue why I said that stupid ass line....but it was like casting a level 30 confusion spell on the police....and my friends almost died laughing.

I dont do LSD anymore.....been years.

That made me laugh. Have you ever played D&D? Where did lvl 30 confusion spell come from?

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My friend Jens brothers.... are big RPG players.....I know some of the shop talk.....heh

Cool. I played years ago.

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Haha at Bia and \m/ at Chris

I know how to play D&D, but I don't know anyone else that does.

One time, when I was a kid, I hugged this random old lady in an arcade because I thought she was my grandma. I do shit like that all the time, either I don't recognize the people I know, forget people's names, or mistake people I don't know for people I do know.

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hahaha, after my girlfriend and i have to go back to our respective hometowns in the holidays, we're a very intimate couple and so i'm used to hugging her like every half a minute and kissing her head and such, so i've come very close to doing that to my mates shortly after.....watch your back jazza

3 weeks ago, my maths teacher caught me writing "josh lamb (S_H_S) fucks dead baby rhinos" on the wall, in whiteout/tipex/twink whatever you people call white correction fluid. needless to say he didn't think it was funny like the rest of us did

last year (we still do) we had all these food fights. i hurled a corn cob and it bokked some guy on the head and he got shitty and threw his meat pie at me. it missed and got the roof (don't ask me how) so our first objective was make the roof dirty. then the next week, there were holes in the roof and we were informed "stay out of the canteen if you can, they're spraying for rats"

lmfao, YES!!

When I was in Middle School, I remember food fights happened all the time. Once, someone hit the principle with glue!! THAT was awesome. And another time, someone just walked over to where the keep the ketchup in the middle of a food fight (they sat them by the doors, these HUGE things that squirted out ketchup, everyone got it from there) and picked up the ketchup bottle and threw it!!!! It bounced and everyone was running cuz if the lid came off, then damn, I hope you like Ketchup. Oh! And another time, in middle school, I pissed this kid off and like a week later, he came up to me at the end of lunch and threw a handful of salt in my eyes. OUCH!! That burnt like a motherfucker.

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What?!?! What the hell is a meat pie?!?! Is this a new thing in modern high school?

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Sounds kinda.......kinda GAY

in middle school, i think 8th grade, a buddy of mine brought high tension fishing line to school wrapped around a pencil, and we decided to wrap these two lightposts in it, creating a web type deal inbetween, that was great, we did it at the end of school and whenever anyone would pass between it, they would get clothslined by the fishing line, we also weaved in and out of the lunch line with it, ahhh good times

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I think you posted that story on my Pranks thread, MoonRaven.

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You don't know what a meat pie is??? Its like the australian food, just like hot dogs are US food.
Its similar to an apple pie, but has meat instead.

I remember once, right after I got a cavity filled, out of nowhere blood poured out of my mouth, and apparently I had bit my tongue and not noticed cuz of the numbness.

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Quite possibly the funniest thing i've ever seen is when my friend grabbed a goalie stick, and shot a tennis ball as hard as he could at my other friend who was riding a bmx bike. He smacked him right in the face. The guy on the bike swerved, smoked a fence, and fell off his bike.

A couple weeks ago we were at a restaraunt called "chili's" and for some reason like 5 of us were in the bathroom. They had these funky glass doors where you could see out if you were in the bathroom, but you couldn't quite see in. So I was trying to take a shit, whilst my friend is pressing his face up against the glass. We laughed so hard, but it is seriously disturbing when you can see somebody watching you poop.

My friends and I have awesome times together, I'll think of more funny stories later.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can't be..........

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My story: I was quite happily trotting around (on a 16:3 IDXTB) a ring without stirrups, when my horse, that was 5 years old, went into canter. At first i was fine, anyone that knows horses should know the joy of canteroing, but then we went into extended canter, almost a gallop. I'm an intermediate rider and at that point, that was scary! Now, I'd laugh it off. I tried to pull him back but his mouth was hard, which means no contact with the reins. After about 5 or 6 circles, I fell into the fence. I passed out as soon as I knew I was falling. I split my muscle in my leg and should have gone to hospital. The swelling didn't go down for like 3-4 months. I tried to ride two weeks after and couldn't, my nerve had gone. It's back now, but that was two years ago. It's affected my riding badly and as I'm now about to compete in Show Jumping I need it back!

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i very well might have, but i dont remember, i do have almost 1600 posts, i cant keep track of them all

one time, when i was probably in seventh grade, i was in my moms car, i had locked my little brother out of it, and he was making faces on the window, so i punched it and chipped his tooth.

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