I'm not endorsing or encouraging alcohol/drug use.
But i'd like to hear some funny stories (we all have em)that you or a friend has done while towed up.

I'll give a few later.

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Oh God! My life isn't long enough to list it all, but here is a few good ones:

I won 1st prize at a disco dancing contest once at a club with piss drunk. I don't even know how to dance right, let alone disco, but I won!

I broke into a police car and took a bunch of cool stuff while drunk once.

And thats all that comes to mind right now, 'cause I'm drunk

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Soul asked for one in the rtt so heres one.

After work one day, the boss and i stopped into a local sports bar for a beer. After gettin quite the swell on, My friend and I (he worked with me) decided we had to go the fuck home, cuz we had to work the next day. So we got a sixer for road beers. (the liquour store is convieneintly sp? located in the same mall as the bar )
So we drove about half way home in my boss's car (it was a shit box anyway). We were almost to my place when my friend mentions a nearby damn that we used to drink at as kids.. I drive there and we drink the rest of the beer. Luckily it's only about 2 miles home to my place. So i drive home. There's a field beside my house, and i get the great idea of doin some field baggin'. OUr dog greeted me when i got home, so i let her in shot-gun. and i say to my friend. "you got the roof". He hops up and i fucking rug 'er into the feild. I' do about 8 donuts, laughing my ass off, then i turn my lites off (don't want the cops to see us). do about 20 more. What i didn't know was that my friend fell off around 4. He was plastered and he just sat where he fell. I was doing fucking donuts and missing the guy by down to 2-3 fucking feet!
When i was done i drove the car back to my house. He ran up and we had a great (stupidity) laugh.
The next morning we noticed that we had FUCKED the car. it was overheatin, and doin all this weird shit. Our boss was like "what the fuck is wrong with the car?" my pal and i just said "i don't know man, we just drove it home".
Anyways, he ended up saying "it's a piece of shit anyway, fuck it"
lol
drunken stupidity. At the time it was funny.
now i think ,i coulda fuckin killed my friend.

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another mildly funny thing occured last canada day.
I was walkin down the street with a beer in my hand (and two in my pocket)
a cop sees me, he takes beer #1, I get in his car, get my fine, He takes off, I crack beer #2 and continue on.
(beer number 1 was an awful expensive beer. $110 cnd.)

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I remember you posting about that in the RTT.

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yea probably
it was a short story.

I'll post some longer (dumber) ones after i hear a few from you guys.

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Well before the Navy I use to live in these ghetto apartments and there was this one really annoying Christian bitch that lived in the upstairs apartment and she thought that my roomies and I were the devil himself because we would always have metal music on 24/7 365 days a year. She use to hang out and drink with us but then she wanted to get with me and like be my girlfriend and stuff. I was like no no no no HELL NO. I just didn't like her. Before she got the apartment upstairs she lived with us for 3 weeks. She seems cool but then she finally got a boyfriend from some dark alley and everything changed.

She got super religious and would start shit with us outside when she would see us. Plus her new boyfriend actually threatened us once. He said that if we didn't stop trying to fuck his girl that he was going to get his gun and kill us all. Well no one, and I mean NO ONE, but this dude wanted to fuck this girl and none of us ever had, so we couldn't help be start to fall to the ground laughing on the spot at what the dude had said to us. Well that started a war.

We started to shut the power off to her apartment in the middle of the night; we stood outside in all black smoking while wearing corpse paint and would just stare at her window. She seen us and even called the police many times and they did nothing to us because we were not doing anything illegal. We would leave dead birds and animals that we would find infront of her door. We would take fake blood and put it on the windshield blades of her car so that when she turned on her cars wiper blades it would smeer blood across her windows. Plus many other pranks.

Well one night we all got really drunk and killed her.

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i mostly SAY stupid stuff, I don't really have too many funny things i've done...but I'll think...

One of my buddies was drunk one time and he walked into a elementary school playground, dropped his pants, and took a big fucking shit. Then, one of my other buddies that was with us at the time walked up and took a picture of it with his cellphone camera.

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My friends and i were a little stoned, well my friend was out of his misery, so he decided to stick an M-80 up a dead cat's ass. Fucking hell man, it was a blast...HAH GET IT!?

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this is like my "intoxicated" thread. No problem though. Im drunk right now and i was talking to my mom as if we are friends!!! is that a funny thing to do while intoxicated? . J/K. i know what you mean. and ill post some of mine later. IMO, this is always an entertaining kind of thread. so for another

i did that once when i was sober. wasnt an elementary school park though, 'twas a public park. i had to drop a duece so... i did.

About a year ago the exact same thing happened to me. I guy I know was stoned, went to the front entrance of the primary school a whole bunch of us used to go to, and took one of the dirtiest shits I have ever seen. Truly foul and right on the doorstep. Then he used his digital camera to take a picture. The following day, he went back there and took another picture of it. It had gone completely black! Anyway, another friend of mine told his girlfriend what he did and then she broke up with him!

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Heeeehe, that is kinda funny that she broke up with him.

This thread is becoming a shiting fest though.

How about some other stuff while fucked up?

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this isnt my story exactly, but anyway,
about a month ago i was at a pub gig, and was nicely toasted, and this guy who was totally smashed was talking to me, saying some shit about someboody being the luke skywalker of death metal, because they were the first of the new metal jedi.

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i nearly destroyed my relationship because of drunkenness.

i was in brissy with my girlfriend and went to a party of her mates' mate's. i had nothing all day to eat due to travel/heat sickness. anyway i got into the swing of things and slammed 6 jim beam and cokes down in like half an hour. i was rambling shit like how i wanted to marry my gf and stuff (of course, i DO ) then later i tried to pick a fight with the bonfire that was in the backyard. that is absolutely not the worst of it.

she took me home cos she'd gotten smashed on like 12 bundies and coke two weeks ago and wasnt drinking much. so there we were, on the train. i was struggling for 20 minutes on a packed train, full of abos, businessmen, jocks, and ticket inspectors, to keep only 6 "bim jeam and blokes" down. then i didnt. i lost it right then and there. my gf was unbelievably amazing about it, she just took me home and let me get cleaned up before she told her parents about it....which is not good when her mum doesnt like me anyway....lucky her stepdad's so cool. so, i'll live to drink with my wife-to-be another day

then in a seperate incident i was walking down the street with my two "best friends" before the first one's girlfriend got grabbed by some westy cunt. he grabs the guy and goes "you owe me 50 bucks" (he was high or something too) and threatening to rape the girl. he tried to attack the second guy then i walked up i go " *HIC* wha the fuckshhhhh going on ere" and he pissed off cos i looked 18 (i have a beard and very deep voice) not funny but scary really.

then my mate whos holding it , me and 10 of his mates went to sleep in the shed (FAARKIN cold in ballarat at night) and listened to "train of thought" all night.

....it's not a good incident unless you can't remember it. Then you know you've partied enough.

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lol. good point powersoft

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Cant go wrong with that.

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As I'm sure some of you remember, I told you about the time I got drunk, couldn't go to the bathroom again (dad would've caught me being drunk. Long story), so I took off the screen to my window, balanced on my nightstand and bed, held back my US Navy flag and my curtains, and pissed out my window.

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Shit! How could I forget my experience with Saki...

My friend has videotape (Mind you, I don't remember this) of me with a lampshade on my head, and another friend of mine taking shots of Saki. And being drunk, we were yelling SAAAAAKKKKKKIIIII!!!! and taking shots.

Also, mind you it was 3 in the morning. Good times you don't remember...

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AHHHHHHHH Fuck!
I could tell you some nice stories, but my English is so bad, that you won't understand anything.
Well, good for me, bad for you.

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Currently I live in residence at University. Very first night everyone from my floor thought it would be a good idea to get hammered. So I thought, ok I'm down. Drank like 14 beers before the pub and about 6 or 8 at the pub. On the way back one person said they were gonna puke so we all thought it would be funny to take a picture, so we were all pretty close to this guy puking laughing our asses off. He puked the most rank, haggard puke I have ever smelled. About 5 other people that were standing too close smelled it too and just started puking from the smell. So imagine like 5 guys and 3 girls puking at the same time in a circle. What we didn't know across the street there was 3 cop cars just sitting in the parking lot talking I guess and they came over and gave us all rides home. Well in my car, there was no divder between the front seat and the back. Of course this girl puked all over her lap, which made the other two of us puke, and the one guy puked over the top of the seat ON THE COP. When we got out it looked like a landmine full of puke exploded in the car lol. Everyone gets back home and starts puking in the common room. Next morning it smelled so bad from all the puke the night before that I puked again from the fumes.

Here in Canada the drinking age is 19. So for my 19th birthday I got shitfaced at the bar with all my friends, and wouldn't you know the bar had this promotion if it was your birthday and you paid $50 you could drink however much, and whatever you wanted. Let me tell you this was the worst idea mankind has ever come up with. I started doing Century club with fireball (for those of you that don't know what century club is it is a game where you take a shot a minute for 100 minutes, but your supposed to do it with beer) Anyways I was a trainwreck and had to be carried out of the bar (only got to 37 shots by the way because I was also drinking beer, but I highly doubt I would have got past 50 anyways). Best part is when I got home, my birthday is in Febuary so its fucking cold up here in Canada. I puked all over the wall next to my front door and thought nothing of it, opened the door and went to bed. Well it was so cold out that night the puke FROZE to the wall and I left the door wide open all night. My parents were fucking livid the next morning and I had to scrape the puke off the wall...yuck. Thats a lot of puking. lol

I've done the same thing out of laziness.
I've also pissed off my fire escape (3rd floor up) to the parking lot below.

Speakin of pukin, My friend and I were drinkin one night when he got sick. He went to the bathroom. About 2 hours later I noticed he still wasn't back (i was hammered). I booted the bathroom door open, and her was my friend sittin on the toilet passed out. He was shitting and puking into the bathtub.

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one time my freind was drinking tequila and accidentally drank the worm in the bottle and started freaking the fuck out cause he thought it was alive and was screaming about how he could fell it wiggling in his throught and down in his stomach

another time we were drinking and headed out the old elementry school and one of my freinds somehow got on the roof and jumped off...broke his leg that dumb fuck

i cant really remember stuff i have done

anyone ever been so drunk that they pissed the bed? and i dont meen like peeing while sleeping but standing over it pissing on it?

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lol no but my friends have.
One dude, passed out drunk. Then got up, walked over to the closet, unzipped and pissed all over his clothes. Another dude did it in the hallway.

^funny story about the worm!

I once stood in front of a toaster for 20 minutes, on acid, waiting for my toast to pop. Then I realized it wasn't plugged in. (I was mesmorized by the filaments and thought they were glowing red)

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Hahaha these stories are fucking great.

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haha yes they are. My dad told me a story once about my uncle coming home drunk and opening up a door and pissing on the floor then shutting the door.

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third. ive done it out the window, did it after school in a park, down the slide (hey we thought itd be funny), and probably a couple of other places....oh yeah, in the toilet, and in the backyard

the funniest thing (not me) was when my mate who lives in sydney, showed me a photo that was taken of a guy at a party he went too, who was taking a shit in the kitchen floor or something, then passed out halfway through the shit. i was on the floor in tears of laughter at the concept.

My grandmother told me a story about my dead alcoholic grandfather's 18th birthday. He went to the pub, and all his mates shouted him until he was fucked off his nut. he eventually got home. This was back in the late 1920's, and everyone had an outdoor toilet. As he didn't want his parents to find out, he decided to sober up in there for a while. He sat down on the toilet, passed out, and woke up the next morning pissing in his own face.

....and he used to brag about this one. Another time, he and his then girlfriend got drunk and decided to have a root on the big oval at Wesley College (a private school in Melbourne). It was dark and noone could see them...or so they thought. Turns out the boarders there had heard them, and when 'ol gramps looked up, there were about 30 kids watching them fuck. Therefore, he got up and ran off, leaving his girlfriend behind with the students!

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I guy that lived with me after Wally's dad and I had split up got drunk and peed out the window THROUGH the screen one night.

One of Wally's friends that used to post here was talking abou tdoing it off my front porch and that finally explained to me why my Rhodedendron's leaves were turning yellow in spots. I told him to drink more water cuz he was burning my plant, and to get his drunk ass up to the bathroom!

Wally's dad was buzzed up one night and hollered about 1 a.m. that he was gonna come in his room and chase him on his treadmill. He's also been known to stand in the driveway upon coming home from partyin' in the summer and yelling--"HOME HONEY,I'M HIGH!" to me.
Wally's brother was ripped one night as was Wally and they got into it horsing around. Jr. was on the pc and too drunk to get up. He called Wally a "fuck fuck" and we all lost it.
One time when Wally and Dad had been out 'bonding', they came home and were doing the 'I love ya, man' routines that drunk guys sometimes do. Wally put out his arms to hug his dad and he went over to him to hug. Wally picked his dad right off the floor (he's about 250 pounds) and kissed him right on the mouth. Denny just went Whoa ! He's never been picked up like that let alone kissed on the mouth by another man!!! Wally did not remember doing it at all.

Generally I've never drank enough to do anything but drink myself sober and then get sick. But my old partying stories are sometimes really blonde. But I remember most of those. I do more dumb, funny stuff sober though. I want to remember my stupidity and elaborate on crazy situations if I can make them better.
One of the funniest incidents was when Wally had a big party here for what ever reason. He had herb. He was on the porch out front with a bunch of people and we were upstairs in his dad and my room because that was the only room we partied in since others in the house didn't and we had an exhaust fan in there. Well, anyways, nobody who partied had anything left. I hollered out the window ROBERT H ! GET YOUR BUTT UP HERE ! from the bathroom window kittycorner from our room. I heard one of his friends say that he must be in big trouble since I'd used the middle name. He came upstairs and a few people were watching from the other room including his dad. I looked at him seriously and said --would you please give your dad some weed so he will quit fiending? He's driving me nuts! Wally's jaw dropped and he kept saying--I don't fucking believe this -over and over. He grinned then and said sure! He turned around and his dad was grinning like a cheshire cat. When he went back downstairs he was all happy and all his friends were bugging him as to what happened. Oh man, it was a trip. He said you won't believe this one and then we heard them laughing. Then most of them came upstairs, too.
But those days are done now....but of all the stuff we did it was a very peaceable time always.
Now I'm remembering how "Purple Ralph" got its name and "5 foot bong" ....hmm..... sigh....on to bigger and better things.

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I was drunk for the second time in my life and i just got horny, awfully horny and asked every girl at the party if they wanted to do it with me. Next day in school wasnt so pleasant but theyve moved to another school .

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One time on a wack of shrooms/pcp my buddy's couch was breathing and I had a knife in my had and I said "if it attacks me I'm going to stab it".


Another time me and the same mexican friend were whacked on like the same stuff as above plus more weed and more beer...we were rolling joints in his room which was just lit by black lights..I had single bags of shrooms and weed into one big ziplock bag...anyway, we couldn't really see what we were doing....so during one of the many joints I was like "man, what are we smoking anyway?" then we cracked up un controably for like a half hour.

Ha, way too many to mention.

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hahah. sweet bassb.
This one time I was high as fuck on acid, . I said to my friends "man that's a big fucking moth" the thing was fucking huge. Everyone was like, man what are you talkin about, there's no fucking moth, you're tripping. I kept trying to get them to see it, pointing. Finally i got down on my hands and knees and crawled to the other side of the room and pointed it out. Turns out it was a tiny little mosquito. To me it looked fucking huge.

hey lbxxx, you sound like my folks

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On our way to GWAR last night my friend was wasted.. and he needed to take a piss.

So went to the back of the hurse, which we were riding in(yes my friend has a hurse) and proceded to piss in his empty Jack bottle... while it was driving

about 30 minutes later he had to piss again, this time it was in a diet pepsi can, he had to hold his piss, empty the can, then continue to piss.

And on our way back home somehow we ended up in the Ghetto.. its funny it takes like 20 seconds to get in the ghetto but 15 minutes to get out of that hell hole.

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lol.
I was drunk in the back of a van and tried to piss in a pop bottle. turns out i had more than 750ml of piss.
The rest ended up on the floor.

your friend has a hearse? Sweet..

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sorry for the extra posts but hearing other stories reminds me of other drunken stupid things.

me and my mate (RIP) were in the carpark at BI-LO (supermarket), drunk off our faces and we were playing truth or dare and did some jackassey kind of stuff like drag racing trollies. well the best bit was i pissed in a coke bottle (filled it and STILL some went on my hands) put on the lid, shook it up and chucked it through a mercedes' back windscreen, i was aiming for the roof to just shower the car in piss. we laughed for about 10 minutes then figure " shit were done for" so we ran into a nearby dark alley and had a couple more mixed drinks.

speakin of shoppin carts, i once pushed my friend across town in one (before that stupid show jackass). The ironic thing is, my brother says to me the next day. "man i was out at a club last night, and i'm walkin home and i see this dumbass pushin this other guy screamin down the street in a shoppin cart." Turns out we we're the dumbasses!

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Trendk' that is awesome !! Man, you guys are all crazy.

We used to go 4-wheeling in our old Scout when we lived in California and we had a spotlight that plugged into the lighter. One of our friends that lived out there a long time took us out in the desert and we were riding around at night partyin' in the dark. Very hard to see where the dry washes and stuff were. But he got this brilliant idea to try to spot Mexicans like you would deer. He was funny as heck. We saw no one,but the way he was talking and acting you'd have thought there was 1000 of immigrants running around there. Now we have nothing against Mexicans but it was just something that had us cracking up.
Another 'fun' thing we'd do was take a bottle of champagne out there and when we uncorked it, let it fly off. Then someone would go find it ! after a few tokes and a few drinks it was hard, but someone always did find it. We didn't wanna litter.
And that old truck had personality. We drove it back and forth between California and Ohio a few times and whenever the glove box would fall open we'd burn one. Ah, some of those roads sure were bumpy. We got Colorado Rocky Mountain highand then some, believe me.

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lol. sweet
(the mexican thing is fucking hilarious)


that reminds me of a thing my friend once said.
We have a family in the neighbourhood that breed like rats. There's always kids around the place.
we were stoned and drivin around that day. We were nearing the house of this family and my buddy says right serious. "slow down man, this neighboorhood is known for (family name). You might hit one." He was actual serious too. We fucking laughed our asses of and the driver ended up halfway into the fucking ditch.

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On my 21st I was so completely and utterly inebriated that I pissed all over my best friend's girlfriend's coffee table in the middle of the night. Apparantly, the first half of the piss was done during a passage of sleep-walking while the second half was done whilst I knew what I was doing. At the point of realisation, it was too late to stop. Still drunk, we cleaned it up in the morning. She still doesn't know.

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i apparanty pissed in the middle of my bedroom, i just didnt know.
The next morning the floor was all sticky and the room smelled, i just ignored it. After a week orso i found out it was piss and i decided to clean it up

another time my parents woke up in the middle of the night hearing some dribblin, and they opened the bedroom door and my brother was taking a leak against their door. hahaha, great times.

I also vomited from my room downstairs. Since i live in the attick it went down 2 floors. It was 3 am and my parents had the work the next day. It almost cost me some great gigs.

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Wow Trenskill, I'm glad I never tried acid...haha I've always been like terrified of it...I just asummed with the right amount of mushrooms/pcp/weed and alcohol you didn't need anymore of a buzz.


Plus all the guys I know that have done acid and harder drugs are permafried/boarderline retarded.

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When you do acid, do it around trustworthy, sober friends! Otherwise you will see some little kid and think he's a evil troll, and try to kill him or something like that....lol

I hate being stupid while drunk. One time when I was 15 my friends and I drank lots of SoCo...We went down from the parking garage, started running around the park kicking each others asses...I'm having trouble remembering it all...We went up on a little kid play structure and I was sitting on a rail that dropped down about 6 feet. My friend mark pushed me off and I landed on my back. It didn't hurt cause of the drinking but it pissed me off. I got up and picked mark up running across the park with him on my shoulder then slammed his back into a big tree. In the process I also hit my head on the tree and we both fell to the ground.

Later on we went to the library and finished up our SoCo then my buddy bruce threw the bottle through the library window. Then we found a huge thing of cardboard, put it over mark's head, and then lit it on fire. He was like a huge flame running around. After we had fun with that, Mark and Bruce were wrestling on the sidewalk and I saw some guy park his blue van across from us. When he was about 60 feet away from his van, I jumped on top and yelled at the dude to come unlock his car so I can get my sunglasses. He turned around and looked at me for about 5 seconds and then walked into the police station which was right next to the library. I got off the car and told Bruce and Mark we had to go cause the po-lice were coming. We went around the block not thinking about we had to be hiding and Bruce hit Mark in the head between the eyes with his skateboard. He was knocked out unconscious. I stood over him and told him I'd piss on his face if he didn't get up. I unzipped my pants and pulled my big massive junk out and some lady driving her little kids asked if we needed help. I turned around and said "no thanks" and she saw how massive my penis was so we has hot sex then she took off. After that the police swarmed us...6 on foot and 3 cruisers. Then an ambulance showed up. We got arrested and my comdoms were taken away...pigs are thieves.

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lma0

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Theres nothing cool or impressive about getting drunk or high.

True, but what we're going for here his 'funny.' Says so in the title. And if you don't believe drunks can be funny, you haven't seen many drunks. But thanks for some of the more useless, preachy two cents you could have contributed to a thread just intended for amusement.

I don't have many good stories of myself doing something stupid and funny while drunk, but in the past few weeks one of my friends has tried to pole vault onto or over everything and another ran around the neighborhood with a samurai sword, cutting police tape and threatening to perform interesting surgeries on people he'd argued with earlier, all in a Zap Brannigan uniform.

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Whatever you say man.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I want to ask one thing? Who is Wally or are you just referring to yourself in the 3rd person?



aww, come on man... lighten up. It's in nature for a lot of people that listen to metal to consume a few (a great amount) of alcoholic beverages. It's fun though. I don't want to preach at you because I don't drink much (or at all) for me being under-age, but its a good comedy routine to hear other people's drunken tales.

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Right on. Anyone can do that. It's a waste of time and energy. I stopped that shit a long time a go, though I never did much, and I'm so much better off now.

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once, I used the word 'whilst'

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friend, my friend, you're drunk..give me your keys..

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i hardly get drunk even when i mixed 4/5 drink i dont get high...thats when i get pissed off

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ok, preachers. As i stated in the start of this thread, I"m not promoting getting fucked up. But for those of us who have, we've witnessed some funny things. I respect your choice for not partaking in any illegal or alcoholic activities. This thread is for laughs. What's the point of coming in here and saying you don't drink or do drugs? There is none, you're just being an ass. (not to mention you aren't even old enough to drink.)

That said.
Back to the stories.

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cheer up, drink some beer

well put def.

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Dude, you have just changed my life forever. I'm no longer going to touch alcohol because you have made me realize that everytime I put a beverage to my mouth, I'm trying to impress everyone around me. XXXSTRAIGHTXXXEDGEXXXFORXXXLIFEXXX

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THAT STATEMENT IS CONTRIDICTORY!!!

XXX OH MY GAWD BEWBS!

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Straight edge fucks are too scared to admit that they are too scared of life.

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Meh... let them life like how they want. Im not an alcoholic, a stoner or a slut... does that make me a strait edge??

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Nope. Just a prude for formulating it that way.

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Why thank you

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I don;t know if I already told this sotry or not...but whatever...


I was drinking straight vodka with Steve(fuckfrost...who bitched out and went to bed to early), this ugly bitch and my friend Shawn at his house...I was going to spend the night so I was bringing his sisters matress(he just moved into the duplex) downstairs so I could sleep on it..Anyway I got a couple steps down, dropped the matress..tripped over my own feet...fell down the stairs on to the matress at the bottom.

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No, Wally is Walpurgis. He was an old-timer mod on here and I happened to give birth to him.

There's a lot more than metal that makes people drink. That's not even a good excuse ! haha I never have drank that much, but I've seen some funny drunks before. I've lived with a downright mean drunk before, too. There's a big difference believe me.

You guys just need to mind your p's and q's and please don't drive drunk. If you have to have designated driver that's fine. I've dropped off people before and they've cabbed it home. That's cool,too. It's for your own as well as others safety. I'm not preaching. I just don't wanna see a name missing here because of a major screw up, you know?

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Yeh, drinking and driving is fucked.

If your not responsible to make a simple decision like that than you shouldnt be drinking.

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or driving, you know it's just as bad to drunk and drive than to drive while being unhappy, frustrated, sick, angered, have taken a mild medical sedative?

oh ok thanks.

one time, i saw 2 of my uncles getting pissed drunk on christmas eve. They decided to arm wrestle and broke several pieces of furniture in the living room, seriously.

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To M=L ---

Whatever. I thought that would stir up some shit but oh well. Like anything anyone ever says matters anyway.

ouch that must have hurt



awww thanks your the best mum ever

seriously.
drinkin and drivin is bullshit.
I've done it because i was young and stupid. I've only done it in feilds and on country roads, but that's still fucking stupid. But every kid does something dumb.



and back to the stories.
Bass. That mattress story reminds me of a year ago. Me a my friend were drinkin at his place. We got right drunk and decided to go for a walk. we walked down his block (it was garbage pick up day the next day) and found a double mattress (box sprin and mattress) on the side of the road. We dragged the fucker into the park across from his place and started jumpin on it like a trambopoline! We climbed this big fuckin tree and we're gonna jump onto the mattress when this drunk bitch comes along and starts screamin "don't jump. People love you". Terry says" I've had enough," and goes to jump, he trips on the branch and goes head first into the fucking mattress, bounces and hits the tree. I started laughin so hard i fell outta the tree and missed the matress. The bitch runs up screamin thinkin i'm dead. lol.
After she finally leaves, terry and i get this brilliant idea. he runs to the other end of the park (only about a block) and fuckin bags 'er towards me. I hold the mattress up like a wall and he leaps feet first towards me. He hit the mattress(and Me) square in the middle (right in the fuckin chest). I drop and gasp for air, and some drunk dude comes up while i'm gaspin for air. and says "man you guys should be in fucking wrestling. that was some cool shit"...


.....

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Hahaha, good story Trendkill. Getting hurt brings a whole new aspect of getting fucked up.

Hmm, I forgot about this one....

3 years ago I was at my ex guitarist's house smoking weed(duh) in the attic part of his garage. He heard he his mom come home, so he like freaks out, opens the garage and accidently closes the garage...Me and my friend Adam were still inside the garage while it was closing...

Anyway, me being a stuntman I try to crawl under the closing door, which I had about 3 feet clearance space...I banged my head on the rusted sharp corner of the door...I go outside to see my friend's mom and his aunt, they saw that I banged my head..I thought it was just a bump...


About 2.389505449 seconds later blood errupted out of my head all over my Misfits crimson skull shirt..Anyway, long story short, I had a concussion and everyone said my head looked like a carved potroast.I spent about 5 hours in the hospital, high as fuck..I got 13 STAPLES in my head...hopefully I can get the pictures of it sometime.


So don't try to fight a garage door...you might not win. Oh yeah the scar is a perfect "C" Shape for Cunt.

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the only stupid thing that i did when i was high was that me n my cousins were running somewhere n i fell down while running ...flat on my back coz i didnt want to run any more

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No it wouldn't stir shit up. Its just annoying it keep hearing people say that people who drink try to impress other people. So I know some people that know some people who kill some people so peoplePEoplepeoPle PEOPLE.

People is a very intriguing word.

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Woah......

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Man I miss those histarical non stop laughs that someone starts when a group of your buddies is so fucked up it's just hilarious how fucked up everybody is.

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yeah they rule. Then everyone calms down. And one guy starts laughing again and everyone cracks up again.

I once watch two friends of mine laugh 50 minutes straight while fucked on shrooms. By the end of it they were crying because their bodies hurt and they couldn't breath. It was quite amusing to site back stoned (weed) and laugh at those guys.

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Once on a party, I got so drunk and I felt so shitty that I had to throw up in the bathroom.
It happend to be near the end of the party, and when I came from the bathroom I so spontaneiously sobered up that I belowed 'aye, where be the beer? I am mighty thirsty'.
Sadly, the party was done, the beer was gone, and so were the guests. The remainder of the people went to bed, so I went too.

When I woke up, I was the only person without a hangover

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The best cure for a hangover is vomiting.

I remember one new years eve we were standing outside drunk smokin a 6 gram doob. It was about toast when i took a big chuff off it. I passed it, turned my head to the side, vomited off the deck, then took another swig of beer like nothing happened. I didn't get anymore of the joint. lol.

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LOL you reply fast.

I don't realy like to mix alchohol with weed. Somehow i'm being 'strunk' (stoned+drunk) is the shittiest combination. World just starts to be one big fucking spin.
Being high is nice. Drunk can be ok, depending on how severe. But combining those to, nah.

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strunk. lol
I used to be able to handle it but now i just get too fucked up.
A hit off a j while drunk's not that bad. Kinda like the cherry on top.

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Can you explain your expression? I couldn't figure out what you meant

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hit = puff (inhale)

j=joint

cherry on top = cherry on the top of a cake. (the final touch)

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Okay, I get it now. To much english 'slang' in one sentence for a dutchy
Actualy, if i'm drunk, I hardly notice anything from a joint. I'd only notice anything after smoking a lot, but by then its too late for the room to stop spinning.
Drinking a (preferbaly not many more) beer when stoned, that my cherry on top

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let's not start talkin bout cherries......lol
Fuckin while drunk and stoned is my fucking finally.

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I once got seasick just doing that
I actualy 'lost' my 'cherry' while being under influence. It was fun, but I think could've done a better job when sober

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I've actually passed out while goin down on a chick.
she woke me up laughin, and i tried again then passed out again. Finally she just flipped me over and crashed herself.

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lol, Trendkill that's so sad. I used to find weed and alcohol was a best combination, it's almost like ying and yang really.

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Weed and Alcohol.............ahhhh yes.

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I know man, i know

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Hey! You added in a " " in my quote!

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that's the way i remembered it.

heh heh

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