For those who don't know, Bill Brasky is this character in numerous Saturday Night Live shows with John Goodman and Will Farrell (spelling?) which airs in the United States. Basically its these three drunk guys at a bar discussing this great guy they work with called Bill Brasky (whom you never really see in the skits).

I must say its the funniest stuff I ever heard. At this other forum I'm a part of, we do this game where we create random quotes about Bill Brasky like on the show. This is for fun but some may see this as horribly stupid. Anyways I'll start with some quotes from the show to give you an idea:
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"Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch!"

"Bill Brasky is the father of every kid in this town!"

"Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"

"One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"

"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"

"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."

"He sweats Gatorade"

"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."

"He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!"

"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."

"He sheds his skin once a year."

"He makes brooms somewhere in Georgia."

"He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!"

"I once saw him eat a whole live chicken."

"His favorite movie is 'One on One' with Robby Benson."

"He sleeps eight hours a night! ........ well, he was pretty normal when it came to that."

"Bill Brasky was a two ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball!"

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"

"Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack...a day for each chamber. At the autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta cheese."

"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."

"He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child."

"They found $60 in change in his stomach."

"He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie."

"He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."

"Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.'"

"They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to Brasky talk in his sleep."

"He date raped David Bowie."

"He once inhaled a seagull."

"The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress."

"It was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane."

"He once had sex with a cigarette machine."

"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."

"He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel."

"He once ate the Bible while water skiing."

"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."

"He sired a baseball team.. an orchestra if you count the bastards!"

"You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"

"He has dandruff the size of mice!"

"He jogged with a fridge on his back!"

"Bill Brasky was a 10 foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us all in the face! And we loved him for it!"

"His first name is Bill! ....... I'm drunk."

"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi."

"He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen."

"He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle."

"We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it."

"Brasky once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart."

"He has a toenail on the end of his penis."

"Brasky once got his wife pregnant and gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms."

"Brasky's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."

"Brasky ranked 18th in the AP College Football Pool."

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews."

"He breastfeeds John Madden."

"Brasky named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that."

"If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' 'Pet Sounds.'"

"They use Brasky's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee stadium."

"Brasky directed that commercial where the women play basketball in high heels."

"All the 'Yes' album covers are Brasky family photos."

"He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."

"Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it would've happened sometime."

"Brasky's semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from 'Terminator 2'"

"Brasky still believes in Santa Claus, and he wants to put him in porno films."

"He thinks then iron man is gay."

"He framed Roger Rabbit."

"The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky - except for the apple tree planting and not raping men."

"He gave a handjob to a manta ray."

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hows that
(sig)

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yeah, like hell I'm reading all that

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Ouch... my pride

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i have seen numerous snl shows but none with this bill character??

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He's only in like three. Three drunk businessmen sit at a bar and tell tall tales about him, usually with one or two of him raping and/or molesting them, and then at the end a giant statue, about the size of what would happen if Andre the Giant and the Big Show had a baby, showed up and bought a round, and everybody yelled 'Bill Brasky!' I guess it was the shamelessness of the stories, especially random interjections of 'I used to wet the bed until I was 18 years old!' that really got people. I wasn't much for them, though a few lines were almost hilarious.

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Go ahead and close this. I knew no one would find it as funny as I do. Hurry and get it over with while I still have some shame. Oh and Trend, grow the fuck up. I'll admit the sig did make me chuckle a bit.

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this thread was amazingly made like a month ago. funny that two people would find that sketch so compelling

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grow up for what?
You wanted sig's that insulted each other. NOt as funny when I insult you makeup boy?

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haha sweet avatar trend

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You posted something that wasn't on topic that was directed at me, don't expect me to not reply. I can take a joke, but on computer its hard for me to tell if your being sarcastic or not. Makeup Boy? Now do you see what I mean by grow up? God forbid me ever having a avatar of one of my dead idols.

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so it's a joke if you say it (your sig for instance)
but it's grounds for me to grow up when i say somelike like make up boy? a bit defensive are we.

(hey guit demon, i'm gonna now have naked chicks every week. or coupla days)

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nice little play on words there

@trend-you should get some cool ones like that one slayme had

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Exactly! lol

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AHaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHahahahahahaahhahaahahhaa.

Consider me rampantly amused

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Yeah I've never heard of this either, oh well, I geuss I haven't seen all of the SNL episodes as I thought.

is there any clips from this show online?

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ive seen it, its hilarious.

Blwuaaahahhahahaah

This is some funny shit! I have never seen the skit but those post are great!

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I got to remember to not take things seriously here. That sig was pretty fucking funny. I got to remember that one.

I had all of them when I had Kazaa. I pretty sure they're floating around somewhere out there. I know that I had everyone one on a cd somewhere.

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try dc++ or smthing

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