Um, so yeah... tell everyone your door to door christian (or some other religion, whatever) story. Don't get me wrong, I'm religiously tolerant, but some things are just too far and not funny.

A friend of mine has a reputation as an avid hater of christianity. Anyway, yesterday he had about a dozen "believe in Jesus" letters crammed into his mailbox and when he disposed of them, his mailbox was stuffed again. He ended up running after the christians who stuffed his mailbox and trowing the letters at them and cranking up Deicide to scare them off. He was mighty pissed, I can tell you that.

I was stopped once by a christian, but I was wearing a Dead Kennedys - Nazi Punks Fuck Off shirt and plain casual jeans. She said it looked like I supported them and I should go to church if I want to oppose them and then told me "she didn't read the bible either" when I told her I didn't want to listen to some thousand old storybook being read at me.The person who was with me was wearing a Satyricon shirt (the one with the Jesus with an inverted cross on it) and a burnt christian cross and she thought he was a good christian boy

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Realy? I doubt any church would tolerate people wearing those clothes in church here

But yeah, i've had experience with doorstoppers before... one day the knocked on the door, and when i opened there was this christian person who wanted to "speak about jesus" with me, and I just plainly told her to save somebody else and I close the door.

We don't have much christians here

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i just tell them im not interested. back when i was a loser i used to wear a pentagram and some christians came knoking and didnt even say anything, and i had my media player on the 'death metal' genre, pumping pretty loud. they were completely casual.

I came to the door, with only boxers on (it looked like I was bareassed), and told them we were ok worshipping satan. Then again, I was like twelve then, so...

Yeah. Dumb thread, broken.

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i dont see why everyone gets so pissed off. they are trying to save your eternal soul, while you may not believe in it (i dont) could a person make any more of a generous offer?

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Sure, they can believe all they want. But I do know this: There are thousands of religions, and most (99,99%) believe your going to be damned forever if you dont believe in their particular deity/prophet. That ofcoarse means that it doesnt matter which religion you believe in, there are always groups of people that will clame its hell for you.
And since none off these religious folks have any "hard" evidence that would get a nonbeliever to instantly convert to that religion, these "soul-savers" should stick to their flock and keep other people at rest!

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you should say:
I'm the son of Satan, let me get him for ya.

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thank god for that

they allways come up though but I never open the door, though I do play loud music haha.

my older bro used to have this joke, he'de open the door and they said 'we're here to deliver the message of jesus.'

and he said ''leave it in the mailbox - throws door shut'' it was fucking hilarious

Yeah, they don't really piss me off, but I think its stupid. It also brings me back to a point I've made over and over again, that forcing religion down people's throats is wrong.

Thats why I tend to stay out of religious discussions when they come up.

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We have Mormon's here and they don't come around anymore and I didn't even have to do anything but just be myself, they made their own rumours up and scared themselves away.

Let's see I am on very hard drugs, which I can't get enough of, I'm a sex fiend, a pornographer, a drug dealer, a gang member, a Satanist...the list goes on. But when the drive by they still wave and shit, it's so fucking ridicilous.

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OH MAN! ONE TIME THIS STUPID ASS CHRISTIAN CAME TO MY DOOR SELLING ROSES FOR KIDS WITH WITH CANCER AND I SAID TO HIM "GET OFF MY PROPERTY YOU JESUS LOVING FAGGOT!" AND I KICKED HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE! MAN WAS HE EMBARRASED! I HATE THOSE CHRISTIANS..SHIT! HAVING YOUR OWN BELIEFS IS SO FUCKING STUPID.

WELL, I'M GOING TO GO BLAST SOME DEICIDE AND READ SOME TEEN. LATA!

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TRU DAT NIGGA

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You're kidding right? Whatev

Sometime I would like to put on Corpsepaint and walt door to door with a Lord of the Rings book and tell them I am spreading the word of Satan. Oh god that would be funny.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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I HATE GOD LOL

Punks in general can fuck off and u for wearing that shirt

what pisses me off about the door to door fuckers is they insist that they are right, you are the underprivelaged because you don't spend every waking moment praising THEIR god. ok heres my revelation.. i am christian.. however, do i act it? if you mean i don't kill, rape children, worship elder gods or burn crosses then yeah, i just follow my own basic sense of right and wrong. do i profess my faith to everyone i see? fuck no, who is to say who is right and wrong? on top of that most believers in organized religion have such a holier than thou fucking attitude that any ideals they supposedly believe are lost in their elitist views and political agendas (even if the politics are merely confined to their neighborhoods). would you know i was christian if i didn't tell you, probably not, my decision was an educated decision based on my history major, not some blind faith. it's funny how these fuckers shove their religion in you face and then expect you to be like "thank you for saving me from my evil ways" i remember watching this show about how all music was the devils tool, like everything rock, country etc etc was all evil.. it was fucking hilarious.

anyway a funny story.. i fuck with jehova's witness fuckers all the time. the one time i came to the door in a robe that had a condom fall out.. then had my best friend come down the stairs in his boxers and a grin from ear to ear.

another time i got the call from a friend up the street they were around so we set up a black mass in my living room (visible from door) and had my gf lay in the middle topless with fake blood all over her. it was fuckin great..
blood $5
tape for pentagram $3
black candles $4
look on jehova's witnesses face....priceless

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jehova's witnesses arent bad people or anything, simply tell them your not interested. They leave you alone.

no need to be a dick about it

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BLS's post says it all

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but it's funny...blah how is it that every time i post i'm wrong

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cxmachine your right

hahaha, one time me and my mate went to his mates place and the guys like a 24yo body building guy and also a bogan, a jehovah's witness comes and he pulled a leaf out of glen benton's book, invited the guy in and then called the cops HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! he was being pretty nasty to the J'sW while he was in there too, it was pretty goddamn funny.

the best one though was when my dad asked me to throw a burzum cd on when he saw one coming up the path. but the guy didnt get scared so he physically picked up the guy, walked up the street and placed him on the front steps of the nursing home that was about 2 houses down. funny, funny shit.

Some of you are real assholes.

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hahaha yeah

burzum though.... "are you torturing someone in there??"

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what, then you say no, it's just really shitty music?

^ PIZZOWNED!!!

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lol no his vocals are the epitome of uncomfort

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I am not a satanist but I do wish they wouldn't bother me. I don't mess with them, except this one time I was a bit out of it ( ) and answered the door completely naked. But that wasn't on purpose. My friend has a special CD player he keeps by the door set up so all he has to do is hit one button and it blasts Slayer's "Disciple" at full volume.

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your friend needs a life

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Yeah, it is kind of pathetic. What he needs to do is stop begging to join my band and get good at drums!!!!!!!

But still, they need to stop.

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1. If you don't want them sucking up your time, why the fuck are you being so important at home?
2. If someone is a missionary they're either a total cunt, or they genuinely believe that they're able to help you & nothing you can do to try & shock them is going to change that.
3. Because there's so many people out there that believe that have it over missionaries, they actually turn out to be insanely thick-skinned people. In short: Your antics don't phase them, they've seen worse, & unless you're prepared to stand behind your front door, naked, pumping a syringe full of herion & strychnine into your eye while singing the 'dirty' version of 'I Will Always Love You' backwards, then you're efforts would probably be better spent elsewhere.

Here's what I do: Quietly but sincerely take the Watchtower (or birth control pamphlet, or cheap bible, or whatever they're brandishing at you) out of their hands & then close the door. They get the message, but they seem to be a confused sort of happy.

Mind you, dressing up & acting like a tool probably is kind of fun, I've never tried.

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ive never seen any, although im not home during the day, you see i have a life

i have seen people selling conection to a different telecomunications company though, they usually come round on sundays, they are anoying becuase their phone company is poor

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Yeas, most Australians are lucky, because missionaries tend to stick around Queensland, NT, & WA. No idea why that is, maybe there's still a bit of the colonial tendency left in them. However, it does mean that the majority of us get left alone for the most part.

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we truly are the land of the free

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Yay for us!

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I rarely see christians walking from door to door around here.But i do see jehova's witnesses.But we just say were not interested and they leave us alone.

Man one time these mormans came to the door and they had a kid with down syndrome with them and he had a duck on a leash like his own pet and when I opened the door and gave the quick 5 yes's 2 no's (which works by the way) the fucking duck bit me. No bullshit.

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I was at my grandmother's house and they get Christians all of the fuckin' time...so one day during the summer the door was open and the screen door was shut. The people come to the screen door and everyone in the house just fucking ignored them. We were just walking right by..AND THEY WERE JUST STANDING THERE! Eventually someone opened the screen door...to let the cat out...they got the message.
Sometimes I answer the door like I'm the one going door to door. That'll get to 'em. Once I invited them in with some Cannibal Corpse going in the background and they just gave me a pamphlet for my family to read...I then proceeded to go to the bathroom and wipe my ass with it.
Other than that I just tell them that everyone in my household are Satanists, Buddhists, Muslims, etc.

hahaha the duck bit you


i dont get it, yes yes yes yes yes yes no no

what does that mean

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Wow, you guys are assholes... I don't generally get nasty if they're not nasty to me, the two stories I told were the exceptional stories of christians pissing me off. I'd never be nasty to the respectful ones that piss off once you tell them you're not interested, but these ones just didn't get the idea that they're not wanted. We get Jehova's witnesses here all the time, we just have a small chat and they go.

Hate Eternal, so I like some punk, what's your fucking problem?

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lol, owned by the duck

dude punks sucks. but hey, w/e floats it

haahahahahahahahahaha!@!!

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hmmm.. i must be pretty lucky.. none of them around my neighborhood.

but then again, i usually blast guitar, metal or porno out the window so i'm pretty sure they know that i'm too far gone from being saved

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this thread is the equivalent of a bunch of guys having weight lifting competitions....
everyones bragging about how hardcore you are, most likely lying, to impress everyone. becasue everyone knows metalheads cant be respectful and polite right?

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on the contrary man, i dont care how sarcastic your comment was or was not meant to be, ive never had trouble at the metal concerts ive been at, and i have always been approached by another metalhead to meet him. i find metalheads are far friendlier and more easy-going than hardcore gangsta boys....than most people, actually.

back to arguing with transient, i go by one simple rule of people in my life that i dont like: i dont start shit, i finish it. i do not walk up to morons on the street and hit them or yell at them, i only hit back if they start me first.

in the case of jehovah's witnesses, i see it as them going out of their way to interrupt my style of life, which is a fairly normal, metal, no smokes, no drugs (except booze), quiet lifestyle, and try to make me become one of them. theres loads more but eh, tired.

we don't have many friendly metalheads here, most of my friends are negro's, ask atif and demanu, they're down with the loco, yo.

Hi were here to preach about the lord (Ok, first yes) Have you heard of the bible? (Yes) Are you familar with its teachings (Yes) Do you regularily attend church (Yes) Are you aware of our teachings (Yes) would you like us to come in and share the lords word with you (No) Could we come back at a later time (No)

When you think about it the mormons are nothing more than a fucking cult. Lets look at the big picture, Joseph Smith (the guy who "translated" the 3rd chapter of the book of mormon) read the "new chapters" through two rocks that he called "see'er stones", They belive that either when they die they go to a new planet or some day when jesus returns he will bring them to another planet, I cant remember which, and 3rd probably the most over looked fact is that the books that he supposedly found were texts written by the prophet mormon who wrote down gods word. Yeah ok........

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ahh, we dont get this door to door christian stuff in england.. well certainltly not in my village, and funnily enough theres 3 churches here. have got one person collecting money for british heart foundation though. they dont excpect much just a couple of quid.

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QUID???
QUID???

QUIIIIIIIIID??

WTF IS A QUID??

God all you englishmen are really weird........

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quid = pound, as in money

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see that wasent so hard.

me american understand pound

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i was being sarcastic about mean metal heads..everyone ive met is great

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How the fuck is the Book of Mormon less credible than the Bible? They were both written by people who supposedly saw God, although nobody seems to see him today. Both were rough translations that certainly have lost a lot of their meanings on their way to the present. Both are extremely boring and highly (if not completely) fictional.

The main difference between the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and Mother Goose Rhymes is that Mother Goose Rhymes are slightly entertaining.

I also don't understand what the problem is with missionaries. I've been harassed by missionaries of many churches (at least 6) more times than I can count, and while it's annoying, I respect those people for trying to help what they erroneously perceive to be people on their way to a place of eternal torment (which realistically cannot exist). They don't kill people or preach hatred. Good for them.

I also have personally known quite a few LDS missionaries, and I consider myself to be friends with several LDS. I also should point out that by no means could the LDS could be considered a cult, because they are recognized by the US Government as a legitimate church, therefore not really fitting the accepted guidelines of a cult. There are many unoffical Mormon churches in and around the Utah area, those are probably legitimate cults. Especially considering that the unofficial Mormon churches all split from the official church because of one of the following reasons-

1. They wanted to consider practicing polygamy after the official church banned it. The original purpose was to try to procreate as much as possible, obviously that goal was no longer necessary after a while.

2. They didn't want to allow non-whites into the church.

3. They didn't want to allow non-whites to become priests within the church.

Religious zealouts who illegally practice polygamy (and in some cases incest, which was never allowed in the official church for obvious reasons) and racism are certainly cults. Especially since a lot of them also stock up on arms and are affiliated with anti-government militant organizations.

I saw south park it was FUNNAY

TO THE EXTREME!

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One time a Jahova's Witness came up to me and I said "hello".

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Ever since I moved I haven't had anyone come to my door, they usually leave letters in my mailbox. They make me giggle because it seems like they're trying to scare you because it says something like "The End is Coming! Do You Know Jesus?!?!"

Whenever someone gives me a sheet of paper about religion, they're basically saying "Here, you throw this away."

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hmm to sum up
yes i'm an asshole, yes i'm a real asshole
yes i really did those things
yes i did them because they go out of their way to interrupt my life
yes it was funny
no i'm not mean to people i like or respect

ya that about sums it up
and on a side note the metalheads here are also very friendly, at least to other metal and rock fans

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There was an old sign outside a Breck Road church in Liverpool back in the 60s that said, "Jesus Saves!". However, one cheeky Scouse scamp daubed below it, "But St. John knocks in the rebound". (Ian St. John was a striker for Liverpool in the 60's) Pure genious!

In Liverpool, the football clubs (Liverpool and Everton) are worshipped more than all the religious denominations combined.

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Football is gay

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Basketball is gayer.

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hahah sorry for confusing u BLS.

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eh dawg eh dawg

It was cool when the Bulls were KICKING ASS.

Tony KuDSGSAD (NUMBER 7) Jordan, Pimpin (ekekek) Rodman

they my home dawgs

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a couple of months ago, two jehovah's witnesses came to my apartment door. I was watchin porno, with the sound cranked. I opened the door with just no shirt and unshaven. PanterA on the cd player, and some bitch screamin "fuck me". They just gave me their pamphlets and left. I've got respect for relgions. Just not bible pimps.

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amen

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Exactly. I'm a baptist, but I'm not gonna give someone a bunch of crpa for trying to spread their beliefs. I'm just not Mormon or Jehova's Witness. My friend Carlos is Mormon, and I don't hate him for worshipping the Mor Man. Plus he was concieved at the Live After Death show.

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Why?

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What's he ever done for us? A specific, documented act that cannot be disputed, I mean...

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well, what did you do for him/her/it?

nothing right

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Very true, but I don't want or expect anything. Besides, if He loves us so much, why do we have to earn his love? What about all the other people who have prayed and obeyed the bible to the last word, what has he done for them?

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we will never know!

We can just make guesses!

It's always hard to discuss about such topics...im off topic now

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Exactly! The only thing anybody needs from the bible is the following commandment:

"Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated"

I think that is the sum total that I injested from religious education in school. Maybe the door-to-door religious people should follow it, too, and not thrust religion upon people who don't want it.

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"Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated"


I think thats the main issue of life!

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