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2004-02-26, 20:22
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago,Il.
Posts: 367
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ROTTING ON THE CROSS
A reasonable cause
For someone hanging on the cross
Put the shame on pause
While you rot, all that surrounds you
is green-infested moss
Death on the cross
So inhumane for laws
Improper behavior
They say it was
Rusted nails deep in your hands and feet
Die slowly
For death is no fun
While your suspended in air and reek.
Repeat all, end...
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bestialson2003@yahoo.com
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2004-02-26, 21:50
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I am a tax on the world..
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: pizza with a shit on it!
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re-word the last paragraph, it doesn't fit.
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.
 
This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
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2004-03-26, 21:40
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Metalhead
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: south shields, England
Posts: 78
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Nah... it sounded like somthing marilyn manson would write on a bad day, also you say "Rusted nails deep in your -->hands<-- and feet" and if memory serves me correct the nails whent in his wrists.
Nice effort though
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2004-03-26, 21:52
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Schrodinger's Cat
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Liverpool, England
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Prince Charming
also you say "Rusted nails deep in your -->hands<-- and feet" and if memory serves me correct the nails whent in his wrists.
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I'm being a little pedantic but it depends what source you use. Some sources say (or depict) wrists while some say (or depict) hands. It doesn't really matter as long as the point is nailed home (sorry, couldn't resist) in the song.
Oh by the way, BeastialWarrior, I liked it. It's got a sort of Deicide mixed with Carcass ring to it.
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Album of the day:
Red Sparowes - At the Soundless Dawn
Last edited by johnmansley : 2004-03-26 at 21:54.
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2004-03-26, 22:05
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Earth v.6.9
Posts: 355
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it sounds like your trying to rap.. try not rhyming all the words together.
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....(...)....~.~~.>--<o.(...).......
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2004-03-27, 09:02
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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It wasn't really anything I thought that great because it seemed too forced.
I learned that it was the wrists they used simply because the structure of hands would tear too easily with the weight of a body. Wrists have more to them to prevent that. Just thought I'd share that.
Maybe you could improve this by keeping some dark theme to it and adding some dialogue going around in the surroundings. Possibly the guards talking or something like that. Just thoughts.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2004-03-27, 10:20
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Denimwearinghillbilly
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Bladel, Holland
Posts: 6,806
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he wasnt nailed on a cross. It's just a fairytale
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2004-03-27, 14:04
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Schrodinger's Cat
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Liverpool, England
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Yeah, hahahahaha!
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Album of the day:
Red Sparowes - At the Soundless Dawn
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2004-03-27, 17:00
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago,Il.
Posts: 367
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Drag the Waters
it sounds like your trying to rap.. try not rhyming all the words together.
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Trying to rap? You've got that wrong alltogether guy. I don't like rap whatsoever! But, this is open to opinion... Anyways, this is just another tune to get shit out of my head, nothing to worthy of noting... just something else that was on my mind at the time. I just like to share my different kinds of influence and literature on here. Though, I know some of it ain't the best..lol.
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bestialson2003@yahoo.com
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2004-03-27, 20:02
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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I can relate to that. Isn't it great though when one of those pieces hits ya where you look back and go --I really wrote that ?! 
Instead of ---  I really wrote that . I hope no one saw it.......
heehee 
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2004-03-27, 22:26
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Earth v.6.9
Posts: 355
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BestialWarrior
Trying to rap? You've got that wrong alltogether guy. I don't like rap whatsoever! But, this is open to opinion... Anyways, this is just another tune to get shit out of my head, nothing to worthy of noting... just something else that was on my mind at the time. I just like to share my different kinds of influence and literature on here. Though, I know some of it ain't the best..lol.
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no offence man. thats just how i interpreted it. i like the idea tho, anything anti-christian is good with me. 
__________________
............_ )).........................
........_( . ,,)_.......................
......(______)......................
.......| ____ |........................
.____|___|________........
.|.........................|.|....|.\........
.|......ice-cream....|.|__|..\___
.|.........................|..............*|
.|_.....___________.....__.o|
....(...)....~.~~.>--<o.(...).......
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