Abiding to my faith I keep withering away from your sheath
Killing myself with every glimpse to my watch of my life
My life ends soon
Just you watch
As I die on the floor, skin withering away
Blood existing in me
I figure this out
Tearing myself out of your eyes

Coming up and gathering
These collected thoughts haunting me
Tearing us apart day by day
Ripping farther and farther away
Ripping up day by day
Killing me I begin to sway
Evil thoughts sorrounding me
I see the eyes I have seen for the last eternity
Killing me I begin to sway
So cleverous
Ripping you away

Now the time draws near
My candle getting dim
I watch and sit on my lantern
About to sink in
Looking at the cracks that have formed
Ripping through the life once lived by me
Used to be happy
Now a darkened shadow of society
Just another lost soul keeping away from you
Hiding in their own shadow
Falling so closely by
Apart, I fall faster
Gripping onto nothing letting myself be drawn in
Flames flickering around
I can't hear any sound
Commiting another crime
I feel hatred but don't know where it's coming from

Hatred so alive
Hard to go outside
Even to see the light
Burns my eyes
Red as they may be
I can still see
In the silence of night
I walk with them
They follow me into the spiritual sway
Of nothing
Nothing to become of
Nothing to be
Just a failure to you
I fall deep inside myself
Still trying to hide

Just a darkened shadow of lost hope
Gone within and outside with no life to live
I once thought of myself with pride
Now all of that, that was once, now has died
Falling into the dark abyss
I see you watching me
Gone now from you and everything for eternity

haha, not to "dark", but I like it, its like 5 min long

how in the hell does something exit in?!?!




you use day and sway wayyyyyy to much. And it sounds really forced.




Which is it? Candle or lantern?


Why is it hard to "go outside," when you're slipping away? What about the candle...or lantern, that's light...does it burn your eyes as well? Your eyes follow you??? Huh?


needs re-wording, because "gone within and outside"...uhhh no. other than that, this is the better of the other paragraphs.


How long did it take for you to write this....3 minutes?!?!
you need to re-read your work, man.

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ok, so I screwed up, big whoop, I threw that one out anyways... after realizing, although thanks to you!

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good.

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yupp.... any suggestions Powersofterror coming from a good song writer like you.. I read some of yours.. I like them!

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I don't know, just write like you really feel that way. After writing what I write, I feel awed and depressed. Which tells me that I didn't just waste my time. And try to have SOME sort or rythmn to your stuff. It is a little TOO free.

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