ehh, it may be a typical death metal song, but if put to the right music, i think it could work, either way, i take pride in it

Entrails of my victims
hang on hooks above me
spread across the floor
the empty twisted bodies
Bloodied dripping organs
add to the pool of red
meta puppets filled with cum
my fluids preserve the dead
no desire for living skin
my flesh dolls do the deed
stimulation, massacre
on rotting corpse i feed
maggots fill the orafice
adding to the obscure bliss
bruised and bloodied by my fist
all this for your decayed kiss

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nice job. i like the gore image you put to it. only thing id say is, it needs to be little longer. unless its a speedy 25-30 second grindcore song.

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