yeah... its not really a metal song, i wrote it cuz... i was feeling shitt, but thats an emotion, and emotions give me inspiration so... yeah anyway i dont expect good feed back but here ya go.

Burning Roses
I've been thinking
How did my life get so screwed up
I've been wondering
Where did i go wrong

It's the same ol' thing everyday
the path I take, doesn't change
I'm waiting for a different story
then i see the rose bush burning...

It was a cold, black night,
the day, you came and changed my story
you filled the emptyness inside
you clouded my mind, I couldn't think,
after the day you changed my story

Roses in flames and i couldn't stop it
the bush would soon be dead.
As the pedals turn to ashes,
As the thorns loose their point,
I sit and I watch the rose bush burn,
and I walk the path again.

I walk that path everyday,
and everytime I see the ashes,
I haven't smiled since that day,
but I Know I'll be happy again,
the day a new bush blossoms.

Actually I think I'd ditch the first verse. The next one gives enough background to set the tone of the piece. You don't want it to sound too teen angst or it turns off 'more mature' listeners. And maybe it's cuz I 'm female, but I really liked the rose theme. The story you told was good metaphorically and it flowed really well. I li ked it a lot. The images of the different stages of the rose's demise were good and the rebirth gave some hope. I think you did a nice job on it. I've heard guys do some darn good rose pieces so maybe a quieter metal tone or even an acoustic thing would work with this. Hey, if Morbid Angel can do it so can you !

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yeah alright got ya, rid the first verse. thx