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Old 2003-10-26, 09:46
Straker
Metalhead
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: UK Newcastle
Posts: 64
Exclamation Force fed excrements.....

This is a new death metal tune i've been messin around with.
let me know what u think

FORCE FED EXCREMENT’S.

One by one they await their deaths.
All lined up, a noose around their neck.
Standing upon a trapdoor, a metal trough below.
The opening delivers tautness.
The rope snaps the bone.

To your knees, you are now thrown.
You watch the limbs, twitch and jerk.
The last breathe sees muscle loses control.
Excrement’s spill, collected below.
To your feet you’re pulled, in the trough you go.

Plunged in head first, into the mixture of waste.
To live is too drink, the level must drop
Gag and choke on the sludge.
Your vomit adds to the mix.
Faeces and urine spill from your mouth.

Consumed enough to breathe,
its not over yet
Escorted to the gallows,
'Where are the corpses!?'
A noose around your neck,
now you await your death.
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..............................................................................That night he drove to the graveyard and dug up her lifeless body, he then eagerly returned home, positioned the corpse in his bed, and after almost forty years of celibacy, thusly began his first intimate aquantence with the feamale gender. Gein found the corpse so sexually stimulating that he ended up eating parts of the body, and making a waistecoat of the skin, so he could wear it and become a woman whenever he wanted to .......................................................................................... ..........
 
Old 2003-10-27, 11:24
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
For the progression of thoughts it's okay. For the thoughts themselves...well.....I don't think it would be fun to dance to and I don't think it's a love song. And yes, I'm being sarcastic. It didn't do a thing for me. Sounds like a teeny-bopper shock thing hellbent on yucky stuff. But I think if some of the goo was removed and you developed the hangman's ideas you might have something that would sell to the over 15 crowd.
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Old 2003-10-27, 18:28
Straker
Metalhead
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: UK Newcastle
Posts: 64
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..............................................................................That night he drove to the graveyard and dug up her lifeless body, he then eagerly returned home, positioned the corpse in his bed, and after almost forty years of celibacy, thusly began his first intimate aquantence with the feamale gender. Gein found the corpse so sexually stimulating that he ended up eating parts of the body, and making a waistecoat of the skin, so he could wear it and become a woman whenever he wanted to .......................................................................................... ..........
 
Old 2003-10-29, 20:26
brainsforbreakfast's Avatar
brainsforbreakfast
El Diablo sin pantalones
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Yggdrassyl
Posts: 4,321
the idea is funny (though a bit over the top), but the lyrics seem to miss a certain flow... The title is funny though
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