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Old 2003-10-15, 11:01
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
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"Beneath the Moon's Gaze"

I wrote this yesterday. It's more poetry thsan lyric, but anything can be made lyrical if you want it to be. So if I was to this with a melody line it would be in a more solomn mode. Let me know what you think . Thanks.

"Beneath the Moon's Gaze"

Shrouded in scattered velvet,
Paisleyed and minor-keyed.
Black blackground with no brightness reflected,
Burgundy and midnight.
Safely wrapped and alone with thoughts
And dreams of the last time
I held in my arms before me my soul,
Offering it to ease my own agony.
Whispered memories warm in winter.
Clouds lit sharply by the gibbous moon
Rolling the new season's winter across my land.
But I really have no place.
I have roof and food for body,
But soul is never satisfied.
Sights set on a faraway star
As close to my own vision as a tear,
A bead of sweat.
And I close my eyes as moisture puddles
And falls upon my cheeks.
The soft, velvet night.
The waning moon above.
My tongue speaks but there's no sound.
No comfort from the night.
I curl under my cape and die inside once again
As I have so many times before.
Royal fields beginning to caress me.
Consoling me in the moon's light,
But the tears still fall inside.
In need of rescue still.

BJH
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2003-10-16, 10:56
deMANUfacture's Avatar
deMANUfacture
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Location: Gotham City
Posts: 934
i have awaited a new song from you.........and this is a awesome peom which i can not single out any faults in it

awesome song
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Old 2003-10-16, 11:21
Def's Avatar
Def
Master Killer
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its written really well, but friggin hard to fit in a song
 
Old 2003-10-16, 13:19
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
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Yeah, I thought so , too. But some people can work miracles with anything. I can't , but I suppose it could be read over a score,too.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2003-10-21, 20:09
Agent Smith's Avatar
Agent Smith
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Location: Texas
Posts: 28
wow was the poem about you? the best poems come from the heart/experiences in life, and that was definitely a well-structured and thought out poem
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Old 2003-10-21, 23:21
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
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Well, maybe a little bit. I have a very vivid imagination, but I take from my surroundings a lot. I'm glad this was well received. It sort of goes with some I wrote last year. Maybe I'll throw one of those on here, too. I don't think I have.
But I'm glad you guys liked it.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!

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