Here's another one i wrote some time ago...

Restless

"Knee deep in the dead
Still facing future dread
Eons of pain and suffering
Led - By the dark Lord of the Damned
In his hall of Chaos

The weapons drawn, spells prepared
for another battle at hand
Rage! Strife! Repent!
T'is what thy Chaos Lord demands

Kill! Maim! Burn!
Fight the unholy fight
Smite and Strike
Rage, Blade and Fire
Hatred Blight

Undead warriors and demon kind
Bred for slaughter
No valkery for fallen souls
None will bathe in light
Eternal locked in stride
Tormented and screaming
Salvation never comes
Chaos Lord laughs and smiles

Our vertigo of murder and bloodlust
Takes place of all memory
Forgot any reasons to fight
Still drowning in yet more blood

And the fallen will rise"

well...i like this one, but i think i wrote it as bit too cliche

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It 's not bad , and there's some descriptiveness to it, but I tend to like a little more storyline to pieces like this. It does appear to just have the words that evole the dark feeling but for some reason it misses the mark for me. Maybe with music it would add more flavor to it. It's not bad, but I think it could be better. You seem to have the vocabulary to do it.

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