Here is a grotesque tale of killing a dirty harlot (probably influenced by my ex). Enjoy.



"Slut Slayer"

scream my little pig,
your crying as i dig,
your grave is now your home,
sufficate, now die alone,
your skin is like butter,
as im cutting into you,
last plea a mutter,
when its stabbing through,
blood flows so freely,
your guts are on the floor,
the hunger within me,
cant wait anymore,

feel, the edge, of my knife,
know, its the end, of your life,
your so pretty, when you bleed,

you struggle but its pointless,
not much blood left to lose,
i ripped out your intestines,
and made a little noose,
your organs i will sever,
but you cant feel a thing,
gasping with pleasure,
death will only bring,
the end to your torture,
the end to all your pain,
the end of your future,
clogging up the drain,

feel, the edge, of my knife,
know, its the end, of your life,
your so pretty, when you bleed,

the time has come,
for you to die,
one final slice,
through your eye,
your mind is torn,
as i put you to rest,
you fucking whore,
you left me, with such a mess.

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Very very good. Very Chris Barnes-ish. I have a couple of songs like that myself...fucking ex-girlfriends, you hate them but with out them you can't write songs

Keep up the good work

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haha so true.

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this one is magnificent!

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Cool as fuck.

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pretty tight, man. now you have to send her a copy...

I would send my ex that.

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I'd say it would have fit in nicely on The Bleeding, good job

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Nice and gory, well done.

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Fucking brilliant! Kill the bitch, dude!

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Yes i fucking hate ex's. I want to do that exact same shit to mine.

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i third that. drag, you're a pioneer.

Not bad!

this has gotta go to music dude, it's fucking great

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thanks for digging this up, and all the props. shortly after posting this i came up with a chorus for it, so i've revised it.

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Not bad at all!

WTF is wrong with you little young Illinois boys and your sycho women?

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... lol, you are all so ironic

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Why, what do you mean?

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It’s brainless to talk about your ex girlfriends the way you do know. Yeah, maybe it was a fucking time with her, but no reason to write such an obstinate lyric, to appear so fucking brutal.

You are all so fucking stereotypes, and think metal is the music of all bad. Because of you, the metal scene is fucked up.

Back to the lyrics:
You didn’t even use intelligent words, metaphors, similes and so on.

That’s my opinion on this, if that’s not true, prove me better.

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You are part right! Dudes must stop writing songs about thier beloved Illinois dick-craving, munching my cock behind thier back's sluts.

If you lose that slut to a bigger cock than just deal with it and don't write a God damn song about it and post it online I don't really give a damn if some easy slut country poontang broke some other poor country boy wanna B metalhead's heart, but I was just trying to help this poor Dicksnot lovering poster fan feel better about himself and the fact that he hasn't posted in months because he has been stuck up this sluts ass!... Perhaps after I

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Fuck you, dickless newb! May the Ancient Ones rip out your mother's filthy cunt entrails and stick them up your lose asshole!

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haha, see what I mean! Thx dude, you are the best example of a fucking mother fucker who wants to be bad, but in real he is just a stupid guy, nothing else to do then writing lyrics about killing and fucking corpses.

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You're welcome!

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You're really a bit stuck up about that.

Gore lyrics are, at best, fun. If you start writing them as though you're writing something serious - i.e., using intelligent words, metaphors, similes, and so on - then you deserve the criticism you've given. They're stupid, true, but if you're going to write stupid you might as well embrace that. In general it's best to use a vocabulary and technique suited to your subject, not insist on the same for every subject.

And I don't think a poem can be judged simply on whether or not it uses intelligent words, metaphors, similes, and so on. A lot of very good poetry, and lyrics, was written without any of that, and a lot of dog shit poetry, and lyrics, was written with a broad vocabulary and glutted with symbolism. It can't just be forced in, and you can't reject good works because you've imposed artificial standards on them. Is this a good example of one you can't reject? Not really, but that shouldn't be the first thing to come to your mind when evaluating a poem or set of lyrics.

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Good meter, fun, catchy. I read similar lyrics before from someone else, but he was never in the same situation so they came out uninspired. Whoever takes these seriously must be trown down a well with a loaded gun for company.

You shouldnt tell people what the fuck to write about. If this dude wanted to write a song about burying his ex gf, then fuckin let him. I liked this song, because i can relate to that feeling. Most guys can relate to really fucked up relationships, and wanting to fuck their ex's up like that. But can we do it? Not really sorta against the law. So why not write a song about it?

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Unlike many people, I would actually fuck someone up really bad like that. But, like Arkane said, it's kinda against the law, and yes, alot of people can relate to these lyrics so therefore, they don't suck.

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i think they're rather stupid if you ask me.
get over it, she dumped you. grow up.
that sort of obsession needs help.

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killer of trends it was probably in the heat of the moment.

i felt like that after my first girlfriend dumped me, she was an ice queen and then she leaves me for some guy she rooted on a scout camp.
hah, im in a relationship now, 10 months, i will never be dumped!!!

back on topic, maybe it helps with the pain in dealing with bitchy women. just take it easy, if it was ill-written eg. "i runned in2 da ho'z r00m d3n sta88ed hrr in d hed hehehehehehe w0t u fink of dat" then that would deserve criticism but just take it easy, loosen up a little.

brutur you shouldnt be taken so lightly. "because of you the metal scene is fucked up"??? because of YOU the metal scene is fucked up, arseless fags that dont have a sense of humour!!

I think he'd be suicidal if he was that. But lighten the fuck up anyway Brutur.

Pretty decent Cannibal Corpse style lyrics. good job.

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what the fuck is going on here? that was only my opinion! Sry that there was someone who didn't like those lyrics! Man, you are all pissing me off

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I didn't like them either, but I don't think that was the point. The point was you basically pissed all over their tastes in stating your own. You didn't simply say 'I don't like this,' you said 'People like you are what's wrong with metal, and make the scene suck.' You spent more time yelling at other people than at expressing your opinion, and now you come back and defend yourself by saying 'Sorry I didn't like the lyrics, but it's just my opinion!' Of course they were insulted. That doesn't mean you weren't right about gore lyrics, but it's cowardly to insult people and then hide behind your opinion.

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brutur, you are one of the biggest douche's ive seen on this forum.. u deserve an award in your sig. not because u didn't like my lyrics, because your just dumb. id like to see some of your poetry(including intelligent words and metaphors, oh my..) submitted on here, and ill give u my honest opinion.

and to set this straight, i broke up with her, because she was dumb, like you.

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see drag. that was also a stupid post.
we need stupid post police. I'd have fines of up to $1000 bucks though.
credit's right.
I posted my opinion because if you feel those emotions even in "the heat of the moment" you do actually need help. When someone fucks you over you should not want to disembowel them. That's a bit extreme.

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like said a couple times already in this post, its not meant to be taken seriously.. just because it was influenced by some wench, doesn't mean id ever go through with it.

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well as long as the writer (you) wrote it in jest. it's cool.
but people who take that shit serious are fucking insane.

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I don't know, maybe those are over exagerated, and women have trouble with bad break ups too you know. Overobsession like that is worthless, but it can help someone get over it, and it's all in good fun. Just because he wrote that kind of stuff doesn't mean he's going to do it.

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i almost wish this thread would be closed.. cause the same shit is being said over and over.

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He is So.Il.ain though! Of course HE means it in a funny way! All weman from there love to fuck young mens minds up to the point of techno! Thay all also like anal to the point of bitching about their past boy friends at the sametime.

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Most of em don't.

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You guys got me rolling. Soulin' , you're rant earlier made me laugh. I wasn't crazy about the lyric either, but it did have good logical flow to it. It had the insanely pissed off feeling as well as disgust. Relationships just don't merit abuse like this, but it isn't much different than the doctor who's g/f on the side decided she didn't want a relationship with her so instead of giving her the usual syringe of B12, he had a mix of hepatitus C and AIDS virus he injected her with. Yeah, there are sick people out there.
A piece like this heard by the wrong person could be a disaster. The odds are slim that would happen though. I don't take too many of the ranting songs on here seriously, but it is good when a disclaimer that it is just imaginative is included. It's better if it comes in the initial post, but you can't always predict a response either.

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ok, now I can understand you guys better. But I never took this lyrics seriously! I just said that the topic is sick... Anyways, when you like it, so it shall be.

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i thought they was pretty good
even though i cant fuckin write nothing any way
so i just wrote this for a laugh

you was once a charming light
now your skined alive screaming
for the god's that dont fuckin hear you.
melt down your eye's a drink to your pain
cut out the fetus as your family goes insane
he raped your corpse that was still warm inside
it makes him wonder what would go through your
fuckin mind if you could have seen the agony.
dismemberd your arms & legs broke your back
to sowe your face to your cunt thats been abused
black and blue as the infection comes out smooth

rob24? You're 14, right? You shouldn't talk like that. I'm telling your authoritative parental figure .

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well go tell whoever u gotta tell if it makes you feel any better
and it would be good to be 14 again then i wouldnt have to work like you old bloody rags but hey it's all for good laughs

but that would be a pretty good way to shut up a woman
sowe her face to her cunt put her on some hooks through her back
and rip out her guts out her ass

go do it... i dare ya.

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Shit, that wouldn't shut me up. It would make me bitch about having a back ache. Guts out the ass? You ever given birth? Been there, done that.

And it's "sew" .
Trendk'-- future, suture? I smell a future bit of exquist verse from that.

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an odd thing i've noticed.
you typed trendk'-- . Probably in an attempt to shorten my handle.
but it's the exact same. trendk is 6 letters. (ill) is the norm, yet you replaced them with ('--). The exact same amount of letters. And it's even one key, one key twice.
time for my pill.

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Holy fuck, this whole forum has come to a standstill. It is like it was evolving, and all of a sudden BOOM! Everything just goes in circles, everybody has to critisize another person for something, which is then countered, and then somebody says "Oh gosh, you are all critisizing eachother", and then somebody has to fight with them about that. You just end up at the start. The only thing you can do that is productive is just give him some fair critisizm. We don't need metaltab philosophers.

Ok, good poem, not my cup of tea.

And for fuck's sake, the "poets" here have to start accepting critisism. No, I am not a douche bag for not liking your poem, nor are you a douche bag for writing a poem that I don't like.

I think she's more concerned with how it would sound than with how much effort she put into it. I may be wrong.


Agreed, but you can't expect the internet to be a haven of free and intelligent discourse - though, in comparison with some sites I've seen, this forum is. I'd love to see this forum only give constructive criticism, as I've tried to do when I've posted in this particular part, but I really don't expect it. It's the internet, and most people here are so metal they rust in the rain and need to have some non-metal helper-friends around to oil their joints and get them moving out of the water; allow a little leeway for idiocy. Unless it gets annoying.

And we do need metaltab philosophers. Just quiet ones.

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You are exactly right. One should not take offense that someone doesn't like their piece. If we all liked the same thing we'd still be listening to a monkey beating on a coconut instead of having different types of instruments. Words are self expression and we may not all agree with what's said, but as mature critics we should be able to set aside personal preference and comment on positive things about a piece like spelling, grammar, form, storyline, even though we don't like other things about it. Unless, of course, it just plain sucks balls, but generally the person already knows that themselves. I've found that sometimes when something does have a bad structure it's not because the person is a complete fool, but because English is not their primary language. And that's when it's encouraging to the other person to offer aide to help them perfect their own pieces. I've made some great friends that way, too.

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hehehe it's funny cos they're monkeys!!!

I don't know where I get some of my ideas from really. That was pretty amusing though.

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