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Old 2003-08-25, 17:50
Drag the Waters's Avatar
Drag the Waters
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Slut Slayer, death metal

Here is a grotesque tale of killing a dirty harlot (probably influenced by my ex). Enjoy.



"Slut Slayer"

scream my little pig,
your crying as i dig,
your grave is now your home,
sufficate, now die alone,
your skin is like butter,
as im cutting into you,
last plea a mutter,
when its stabbing through,
blood flows so freely,
your guts are on the floor,
the hunger within me,
cant wait anymore,

feel, the edge, of my knife,
know, its the end, of your life,
your so pretty, when you bleed,

you struggle but its pointless,
not much blood left to lose,
i ripped out your intestines,
and made a little noose,
your organs i will sever,
but you cant feel a thing,
gasping with pleasure,
death will only bring,
the end to your torture,
the end to all your pain,
the end of your future,
clogging up the drain,

feel, the edge, of my knife,
know, its the end, of your life,
your so pretty, when you bleed,

the time has come,
for you to die,
one final slice,
through your eye,
your mind is torn,
as i put you to rest,
you fucking whore,
you left me, with such a mess.
__________________
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......(______)......................
.......| ____ |........................
.____|___|________........
.|.........................|.|....|.\........
.|......ice-cream....|.|__|..\___
.|.........................|..............*|
.|_.....___________.....__.o|
....(...)....~.~~.>--<o.(...).......

Last edited by Drag the Waters : 2004-11-21 at 03:52.
 
Old 2003-08-26, 00:45
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Very very good. Very Chris Barnes-ish. I have a couple of songs like that myself...fucking ex-girlfriends, you hate them but with out them you can't write songs

Keep up the good work
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Old 2003-08-30, 02:55
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Quote:
Originally posted by RUSSIANROULETTE
Very very good. Very Chris Barnes-ish. I have a couple of songs like that myself...fucking ex-girlfriends, you hate them but with out them you can't write songs


haha so true.
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Old 2003-08-30, 16:38
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this one is magnificent!
 
Old 2003-09-02, 20:50
Straker
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Cool as fuck.
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..............................................................................That night he drove to the graveyard and dug up her lifeless body, he then eagerly returned home, positioned the corpse in his bed, and after almost forty years of celibacy, thusly began his first intimate aquantence with the feamale gender. Gein found the corpse so sexually stimulating that he ended up eating parts of the body, and making a waistecoat of the skin, so he could wear it and become a woman whenever he wanted to .......................................................................................... ..........
 
Old 2003-09-06, 01:25
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pretty tight, man. now you have to send her a copy...
 
Old 2003-09-07, 23:04
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I would send my ex that.
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2003-09-17, 00:35
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I'd say it would have fit in nicely on The Bleeding, good job
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Old 2004-11-19, 16:55
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Nice and gory, well done.
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Old 2004-11-20, 15:04
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Fucking brilliant! Kill the bitch, dude!
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Old 2004-11-20, 19:23
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Yes i fucking hate ex's. I want to do that exact same shit to mine.
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Old 2004-11-20, 23:18
andrewc
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i third that. drag, you're a pioneer.
 
Old 2004-11-21, 01:47
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Not bad!
 
Old 2004-11-21, 03:33
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this has gotta go to music dude, it's fucking great
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Righteous_Death
Black Sabbath are so good, so I wouldnt say anything to disrespect them.
Cunt face.


Rest in Peace Dime, thank you for changing my world on vulgar display of power, thank you for being my next step after sabbath, and thank you for inspiring me to pick up that guitar and learn some heavy fucking metal \m/ your memory will live on forever
 
Old 2004-11-21, 03:54
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Drag the Waters
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thanks for digging this up, and all the props. shortly after posting this i came up with a chorus for it, so i've revised it.
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......(______)......................
.......| ____ |........................
.____|___|________........
.|.........................|.|....|.\........
.|......ice-cream....|.|__|..\___
.|.........................|..............*|
.|_.....___________.....__.o|
....(...)....~.~~.>--<o.(...).......
 
Old 2004-11-21, 09:27
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Not bad at all!

WTF is wrong with you little young Illinois boys and your sycho women?
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Old 2004-11-21, 09:50
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... lol, you are all so ironic
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"Without corpses
there's no War
and without War
there's no Victory
My Dear!"
- by Devil Doll (The Girl who was... Death)

"In an Insane World,
an Insane Man,
MUST appear Insane,"
- Alien 3
 
Old 2004-11-21, 09:55
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Why, what do you mean?
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Old 2004-11-21, 10:16
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Itís brainless to talk about your ex girlfriends the way you do know. Yeah, maybe it was a fucking time with her, but no reason to write such an obstinate lyric, to appear so fucking brutal.

You are all so fucking stereotypes, and think metal is the music of all bad. Because of you, the metal scene is fucked up.

Back to the lyrics:
You didnít even use intelligent words, metaphors, similes and so on.

Thatís my opinion on this, if thatís not true, prove me better.
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"Without corpses
there's no War
and without War
there's no Victory
My Dear!"
- by Devil Doll (The Girl who was... Death)

"In an Insane World,
an Insane Man,
MUST appear Insane,"
- Alien 3
 
Old 2004-11-21, 10:42
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You are part right! Dudes must stop writing songs about thier beloved Illinois dick-craving, munching my cock behind thier back's sluts.

If you lose that slut to a bigger cock than just deal with it and don't write a God damn song about it and post it online I don't really give a damn if some easy slut country poontang broke some other poor country boy wanna B metalhead's heart, but I was just trying to help this poor Dicksnot lovering poster fan feel better about himself and the fact that he hasn't posted in months because he has been stuck up this sluts ass!... Perhaps after I
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Old 2004-11-21, 13:49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brutur
Itís brainless to talk about your ex girlfriends the way you do know. Yeah, maybe it was a fucking time with her, but no reason to write such an obstinate lyric, to appear so fucking brutal.

You are all so fucking stereotypes, and think metal is the music of all bad. Because of you, the metal scene is fucked up.
Fuck you, dickless newb! May the Ancient Ones rip out your mother's filthy cunt entrails and stick them up your lose asshole!
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Igi-Nu Do-A-Hul Igi-Se-Zid-Gin

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Old 2004-11-21, 14:22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Morbid+Roach
Fuck you, dickless newb! May the Ancient Ones rip out your mother's filthy cunt entrails and stick them up your lose asshole!



haha, see what I mean! Thx dude, you are the best example of a fucking mother fucker who wants to be bad, but in real he is just a stupid guy, nothing else to do then writing lyrics about killing and fucking corpses.
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"Without corpses
there's no War
and without War
there's no Victory
My Dear!"
- by Devil Doll (The Girl who was... Death)

"In an Insane World,
an Insane Man,
MUST appear Insane,"
- Alien 3
 
Old 2004-11-21, 15:43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brutur
haha, see what I mean! Thx dude, you are the best example of a fucking mother fucker who wants to be bad, but in real he is just a stupid guy, nothing else to do then writing lyrics about killing and fucking corpses.
You're welcome!
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Old 2004-11-21, 20:01
Credit to Dementia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brutur
Back to the lyrics:
You didnít even use intelligent words, metaphors, similes and so on.

You're really a bit stuck up about that.

Gore lyrics are, at best, fun. If you start writing them as though you're writing something serious - i.e., using intelligent words, metaphors, similes, and so on - then you deserve the criticism you've given. They're stupid, true, but if you're going to write stupid you might as well embrace that. In general it's best to use a vocabulary and technique suited to your subject, not insist on the same for every subject.

And I don't think a poem can be judged simply on whether or not it uses intelligent words, metaphors, similes, and so on. A lot of very good poetry, and lyrics, was written without any of that, and a lot of dog shit poetry, and lyrics, was written with a broad vocabulary and glutted with symbolism. It can't just be forced in, and you can't reject good works because you've imposed artificial standards on them. Is this a good example of one you can't reject? Not really, but that shouldn't be the first thing to come to your mind when evaluating a poem or set of lyrics.
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Old 2004-11-21, 22:48
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Good meter, fun, catchy. I read similar lyrics before from someone else, but he was never in the same situation so they came out uninspired. Whoever takes these seriously must be trown down a well with a loaded gun for company.
 
Old 2004-11-23, 00:40
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You shouldnt tell people what the fuck to write about. If this dude wanted to write a song about burying his ex gf, then fuckin let him. I liked this song, because i can relate to that feeling. Most guys can relate to really fucked up relationships, and wanting to fuck their ex's up like that. But can we do it? Not really sorta against the law. So why not write a song about it?
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Old 2004-11-23, 04:26
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Unlike many people, I would actually fuck someone up really bad like that. But, like Arkane said, it's kinda against the law, and yes, alot of people can relate to these lyrics so therefore, they don't suck.
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Old 2004-11-23, 22:17
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i think they're rather stupid if you ask me.
get over it, she dumped you. grow up.
that sort of obsession needs help.
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Old 2004-11-24, 05:16
andrewc
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killer of trends it was probably in the heat of the moment.

i felt like that after my first girlfriend dumped me, she was an ice queen and then she leaves me for some guy she rooted on a scout camp.
hah, im in a relationship now, 10 months, i will never be dumped!!!

back on topic, maybe it helps with the pain in dealing with bitchy women. just take it easy, if it was ill-written eg. "i runned in2 da ho'z r00m d3n sta88ed hrr in d hed hehehehehehe w0t u fink of dat" then that would deserve criticism but just take it easy, loosen up a little.

brutur you shouldnt be taken so lightly. "because of you the metal scene is fucked up"??? because of YOU the metal scene is fucked up, arseless fags that dont have a sense of humour!!
 
Old 2004-11-24, 07:20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andrewc
arseless fag


I think he'd be suicidal if he was that. But lighten the fuck up anyway Brutur.

Pretty decent Cannibal Corpse style lyrics. good job.
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Old 2004-11-24, 18:41
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what the fuck is going on here? that was only my opinion! Sry that there was someone who didn't like those lyrics! Man, you are all pissing me off
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"Without corpses
there's no War
and without War
there's no Victory
My Dear!"
- by Devil Doll (The Girl who was... Death)

"In an Insane World,
an Insane Man,
MUST appear Insane,"
- Alien 3
 
Old 2004-11-24, 20:14
Credit to Dementia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brutur
what the fuck is going on here? that was only my opinion! Sry that there was someone who didn't like those lyrics! Man, you are all pissing me off

I didn't like them either, but I don't think that was the point. The point was you basically pissed all over their tastes in stating your own. You didn't simply say 'I don't like this,' you said 'People like you are what's wrong with metal, and make the scene suck.' You spent more time yelling at other people than at expressing your opinion, and now you come back and defend yourself by saying 'Sorry I didn't like the lyrics, but it's just my opinion!' Of course they were insulted. That doesn't mean you weren't right about gore lyrics, but it's cowardly to insult people and then hide behind your opinion.
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Old 2004-11-24, 22:20
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brutur, you are one of the biggest douche's ive seen on this forum.. u deserve an award in your sig. not because u didn't like my lyrics, because your just dumb. id like to see some of your poetry(including intelligent words and metaphors, oh my..) submitted on here, and ill give u my honest opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brutur
Itís brainless to talk about your ex girlfriends the way you do know. Yeah, maybe it was a fucking time with her, but no reason to write such an obstinate lyric, to appear so fucking brutal.

and to set this straight, i broke up with her, because she was dumb, like you.
__________________
............_ )).........................
........_( . ,,)_.......................
......(______)......................
.......| ____ |........................
.____|___|________........
.|.........................|.|....|.\........
.|......ice-cream....|.|__|..\___
.|.........................|..............*|
.|_.....___________.....__.o|
....(...)....~.~~.>--<o.(...).......
 
Old 2004-11-25, 00:41
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see drag. that was also a stupid post.
we need stupid post police. I'd have fines of up to $1000 bucks though.
credit's right.
I posted my opinion because if you feel those emotions even in "the heat of the moment" you do actually need help. When someone fucks you over you should not want to disembowel them. That's a bit extreme.
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Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...
 
Old 2004-11-25, 01:06
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Drag the Waters
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trendkill_420
see drag. that was also a stupid post.
we need stupid post police. I'd have fines of up to $1000 bucks though.
credit's right.
I posted my opinion because if you feel those emotions even in "the heat of the moment" you do actually need help. When someone fucks you over you should not want to disembowel them. That's a bit extreme.

like said a couple times already in this post, its not meant to be taken seriously.. just because it was influenced by some wench, doesn't mean id ever go through with it.
__________________
............_ )).........................
........_( . ,,)_.......................
......(______)......................
.......| ____ |........................
.____|___|________........
.|.........................|.|....|.\........
.|......ice-cream....|.|__|..\___
.|.........................|..............*|
.|_.....___________.....__.o|
....(...)....~.~~.>--<o.(...).......

Last edited by Drag the Waters : 2004-11-25 at 02:23.
 
Old 2004-11-25, 01:57
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well as long as the writer (you) wrote it in jest. it's cool.
but people who take that shit serious are fucking insane.
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Old 2004-11-28, 05:46
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I don't know, maybe those are over exagerated, and women have trouble with bad break ups too you know. Overobsession like that is worthless, but it can help someone get over it, and it's all in good fun. Just because he wrote that kind of stuff doesn't mean he's going to do it.
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Old 2004-11-28, 09:52
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i almost wish this thread would be closed.. cause the same shit is being said over and over.
__________________
............_ )).........................
........_( . ,,)_.......................
......(______)......................
.......| ____ |........................
.____|___|________........
.|.........................|.|....|.\........
.|......ice-cream....|.|__|..\___
.|.........................|..............*|
.|_.....___________.....__.o|
....(...)....~.~~.>--<o.(...).......
 
Old 2004-11-28, 10:21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrokenCrimson
I don't know, maybe those are over exagerated, and women have trouble with bad break ups too you know. Overobsession like that is worthless, but it can help someone get over it, and it's all in good fun. Just because he wrote that kind of stuff doesn't mean he's going to do it.


He is So.Il.ain though! Of course HE means it in a funny way! All weman from there love to fuck young mens minds up to the point of techno! Thay all also like anal to the point of bitching about their past boy friends at the sametime.
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Old 2004-11-28, 13:07
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulinsane
Thay all also like anal .

Most of em don't.
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Old 2004-11-28, 20:31
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You guys got me rolling. Soulin' , you're rant earlier made me laugh. I wasn't crazy about the lyric either, but it did have good logical flow to it. It had the insanely pissed off feeling as well as disgust. Relationships just don't merit abuse like this, but it isn't much different than the doctor who's g/f on the side decided she didn't want a relationship with her so instead of giving her the usual syringe of B12, he had a mix of hepatitus C and AIDS virus he injected her with. Yeah, there are sick people out there.
A piece like this heard by the wrong person could be a disaster. The odds are slim that would happen though. I don't take too many of the ranting songs on here seriously, but it is good when a disclaimer that it is just imaginative is included. It's better if it comes in the initial post, but you can't always predict a response either.
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Old 2004-11-29, 14:09
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ok, now I can understand you guys better. But I never took this lyrics seriously! I just said that the topic is sick... Anyways, when you like it, so it shall be.
__________________
"Without corpses
there's no War
and without War
there's no Victory
My Dear!"
- by Devil Doll (The Girl who was... Death)

"In an Insane World,
an Insane Man,
MUST appear Insane,"
- Alien 3
 
Old 2004-12-04, 01:30
rob24
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i thought they was pretty good
even though i cant fuckin write nothing any way
so i just wrote this for a laugh

you was once a charming light
now your skined alive screaming
for the god's that dont fuckin hear you.
melt down your eye's a drink to your pain
cut out the fetus as your family goes insane
he raped your corpse that was still warm inside
it makes him wonder what would go through your
fuckin mind if you could have seen the agony.
dismemberd your arms & legs broke your back
to sowe your face to your cunt thats been abused
black and blue as the infection comes out smooth
 
Old 2004-12-04, 02:03
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rob24? You're 14, right? You shouldn't talk like that. I'm telling your authoritative parental figure .
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2004-12-04, 03:04
rob24
New Blood
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 7
Smile

well go tell whoever u gotta tell if it makes you feel any better
and it would be good to be 14 again then i wouldnt have to work like you old bloody rags but hey it's all for good laughs
 
Old 2004-12-04, 04:06
rob24
New Blood
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 7
but that would be a pretty good way to shut up a woman
sowe her face to her cunt put her on some hooks through her back
and rip out her guts out her ass
 
Old 2004-12-04, 05:46
Cloaca's Avatar
Cloaca
C-Un(i)t
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Melbourne, AUS
Posts: 2,637
go do it... i dare ya.
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OMG ONE MORE THING MY HERO CAN U HELP FIRST RIFF CLOUDED? THANK YOU
 
Old 2004-12-05, 01:30
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Quote:
Originally Posted by rob24
but that would be a pretty good way to shut up a woman
sowe her face to her cunt put her on some hooks through her back
and rip out her guts out her ass


Shit, that wouldn't shut me up. It would make me bitch about having a back ache. Guts out the ass? You ever given birth? Been there, done that.

And it's "sew" .
Trendk'-- future, suture? I smell a future bit of exquist verse from that.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2004-12-05, 02:27
Trendkill 420's Avatar
Trendkill 420
Senior Metalhead
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: canada eh.
Posts: 108
an odd thing i've noticed.
you typed trendk'-- . Probably in an attempt to shorten my handle.
but it's the exact same. trendk is 6 letters. (ill) is the norm, yet you replaced them with ('--). The exact same amount of letters. And it's even one key, one key twice.
time for my pill.
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Old 2004-12-05, 08:31
ShredIsNotDead
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,487
Holy fuck, this whole forum has come to a standstill. It is like it was evolving, and all of a sudden BOOM! Everything just goes in circles, everybody has to critisize another person for something, which is then countered, and then somebody says "Oh gosh, you are all critisizing eachother", and then somebody has to fight with them about that. You just end up at the start. The only thing you can do that is productive is just give him some fair critisizm. We don't need metaltab philosophers.

Ok, good poem, not my cup of tea.

And for fuck's sake, the "poets" here have to start accepting critisism. No, I am not a douche bag for not liking your poem, nor are you a douche bag for writing a poem that I don't like.
 
Old 2004-12-06, 01:15
Credit to Dementia
Supreme Metalhead
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 731
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trendkill 420
an odd thing i've noticed.
you typed trendk'-- . Probably in an attempt to shorten my handle.
but it's the exact same. trendk is 6 letters. (ill) is the norm, yet you replaced them with ('--). The exact same amount of letters. And it's even one key, one key twice.

I think she's more concerned with how it would sound than with how much effort she put into it. I may be wrong.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShredIsNotDead
Holy fuck, this whole forum has come to a standstill. It is like it was evolving, and all of a sudden BOOM! Everything just goes in circles, everybody has to critisize another person for something, which is then countered, and then somebody says "Oh gosh, you are all critisizing eachother", and then somebody has to fight with them about that. You just end up at the start. The only thing you can do that is productive is just give him some fair critisizm. We don't need metaltab philosophers.

Agreed, but you can't expect the internet to be a haven of free and intelligent discourse - though, in comparison with some sites I've seen, this forum is. I'd love to see this forum only give constructive criticism, as I've tried to do when I've posted in this particular part, but I really don't expect it. It's the internet, and most people here are so metal they rust in the rain and need to have some non-metal helper-friends around to oil their joints and get them moving out of the water; allow a little leeway for idiocy. Unless it gets annoying.

And we do need metaltab philosophers. Just quiet ones.
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Old 2004-12-06, 01:18
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
You are exactly right. One should not take offense that someone doesn't like their piece. If we all liked the same thing we'd still be listening to a monkey beating on a coconut instead of having different types of instruments. Words are self expression and we may not all agree with what's said, but as mature critics we should be able to set aside personal preference and comment on positive things about a piece like spelling, grammar, form, storyline, even though we don't like other things about it. Unless, of course, it just plain sucks balls, but generally the person already knows that themselves. I've found that sometimes when something does have a bad structure it's not because the person is a complete fool, but because English is not their primary language. And that's when it's encouraging to the other person to offer aide to help them perfect their own pieces. I've made some great friends that way, too.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2004-12-06, 01:26
andrewc
Post-whore
Banned
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,471
hehehe it's funny cos they're monkeys!!!
 
Old 2004-12-06, 03:18
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
I don't know where I get some of my ideas from really. That was pretty amusing though.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!

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