as night begins to conquer day,
i fight my sleep, try to stay awake
i fear the thoughts the darkness brings
in endless night i cant escape my sins

Alone in slumber with my thoughts
troubled slep no sancturay has brought
when daylight comes i must atone
though sick unto my very bone

i cannot over come desire
darkness weilds a burning fire
the light though filled with divine grace
when darkness comes it shows not its face

against the dark i must give in
resign to everlasting sin
i tried to faction with the light
though darkness it refused to fight
seems light is a fickle friend
but dark remains to bitter end


i havent redone it or anything i need to go over it a lot more times before im happy with it, but i think its not bad, comments?

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you need to fix the first four lines, the rest of the lyric
rhymed, and it threw me off. a title would be nice too.

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I'll let you know before I start, I didn't really "read" into this (just sort of scanned over it). I was just thinking maybe you could... use some different words to replace the work "dark/ness"...uh or not.

I think my favorite part was -

" cannot over come desire
darkness weilds a burning fire
the light though filled with divine grace
when darkness comes it shows not its face"

That just hit me for some reason.
The rest was decent for no tweaking yet. After you've dabbled with it, show us the finished product for sure.

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