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Old 2011-09-14, 00:12
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
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One Beautiful Moment

Got a little push into writing again. Thanks for reading and commenting if you do.

"One Beautiful Moment"

One beautiful moment
That's all it was
Fragile, I thought
But there was no room
For more than a moment
One beautiful moment

I didn't notice the stars were falling
Through the summer sky
I only saw them crashing,
Burning out, vaporizing
In midair, in mid-mind
In my mind

I didn't notice the leaves had changed
Bleeding the color of tears
Falling like they always have
Melding, uncontrollably
Falling like always
Nondescript

I didn't notice the shallow sea
Diving head first, blindly
I only saw the cool, blue water
Swirling discord
Near fatal fall

One beautiful moment
That's all it was
Fragile, I thought
But there was no room
For more than a moment
One beautiful moment

BJH
9/13/2011
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2011-09-14, 09:05
Hugozhor
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Czech republic (Prag)
Posts: 134
I like it. Nice one.
Beatiful verse "Bleeding the color of tears "
 
Old 2011-09-14, 15:53
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Thanks. I kind of liked that, too. I don't use blood references too often, but it seemed to fit there visually.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2011-09-15, 00:04
Pr0az's Avatar
Pr0az
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,924
Damn good love the metaphors....
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“Remember to live, eat, sleep and breathe music for the mind, play from your heart and never be swayed by the current trends.” ~Rusty Cooley

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