Hahaha, you're on. If I get too far ahead on the points, I'll scream bloody murder for an entire 10 minutes while I'm in there and see if that handicaps me.

Any luck post-shit fiasco with that chick?

I drink on the weekdays usually because the bars are less crowded. If I don't hit a bar I might have a glass of wine or two after work. I also don't have to get to work until 10am so it makes it a lot easier.

If it starts to interfere with your social, scholastic, or working life its probably becoming too much. Follow The Middle Way of booze.

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I only drink one day a week now, maybe one day I'll get back to starting on Thursdays. Gonna stop pot completely (down from about once a month) because it has been giving me crazy anxiety, and not just while high.

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Nope but we will meet soon, so it's on. Gonna have Chili con Carne before that!

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Unless you're worrying about peepee tests or something that's bogus and it's something else causing it. Long time studier. But if that's your excuse to quit, that's cool. Me not being able to breathe was mine. Picked it up once years after and it just put me to sleep. All done now for good.

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Probably is something else, but the pot just makes it worse I think.

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Personally, I don't really drink at all anymore, or smoke anything either for that matter. It's not that I'm consciously straight edging or anything, but it's like I realize that I probably blew the top beyond the orbit of the Moon a few times too many and now it's all - yeah, been there. Metal and chicks do it for me.

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dq, you're right about that, and it's good to realize it. Go from there to make things more the way you want it. I quit cold turkey when I'd find out I was preggers and it was no problem at all and a few times for years in between, but when I had that bronchial spasm less than 10 years ago it affected my singing and some days I can barely get a phrase out let alone long passages so public singing is pretty much curtailed because I never know. And I'm not paranoid that I wouldn't be on top of my game judgement-wise if I need to be. I wouldn't party and drive ever so I did only do it when I thought it was appropriate, but with other people I may have to make snap judgements about I don't want to be impaired in any way. It actually feels pretty good.

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The small portion of my penis dedicated to well written comedic descriptions is hard right now. Thank you.

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Put it inside me.

Ever since then I've been having the worse shits. Like, the kind that feel like a fret train hits your sides and you cramp almost too much to walk to the toilet and then as soon as you finally sit, you can't shit and just fart into oblivion on fart island.

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Okay you kinda pushed it there. Let's keep it tasteful.

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I wish I could, I've literally gone through two bottles of Pepto over the last 2 days (which, by the way, makes my poops JET FUCKING BLACK).

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Geez you guys need to stop taking medicine whenever something is wrong with you. Believe in the self-healing processes your body is able to do.

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Dyl, not to scare you but sometimes black tarry stools are signs of bad problems. One of the things it can be from is dry blood. Have you had any trouble with ulcers? Go talk to a doctor soon, please, and get checked out.

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Relax, its not a health problem, its the Pepto. See here. Stops when I stop taking it.

Gomli, its not that I think the medicine will cure me, my body will do that, its just to help alleviate the pain while that happens.

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Well, that's good. And I learned something, too. Still, if the pain keeps up get it checked out.

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Oh c'mon let him man up, here! ALL my shits are hard as fuck and hurt like hell! IT'S JUST PART OF BEING A TRUE MAN!

Nah I'm joking. That is not true. Painful shits are not a good sign.

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It depends. If you drink too less water it your poopoo gets really hard and stiff. Feels like a brick

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Hands up all those who want to see a man being beheaded with a chainsaw. All of you? Really?? Wow, well here ya go then ya sick fucks!

The guy on the left gets beheaded too, but with a knife. The guy on the right is the guy on the left's uncle. They're both members of a rival cartel.

I can't wait to see the Walter White/Jessie Pinkman video in season 5 of Breaking Bad.

Gomli'll be making a thread for Bongripper's Roadburn performance in 3...2...1...

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Dude they'll be playing the whole fuckin SWP record!!!11 If I have the time I'm sooooo gonna go there!
Hope there will be day tickets because when I'll only be able to stay there for a maximum of two days

Edit: Ah duuuuuuuuude Coroner also?!!

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Holy fuck is this an amazing fight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvlF...s&feature=share.

I love K-1. No ground fighting!

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Fuck the fight; you can't beat this commentary!

A nasty little Oompa-loompa!
The mayor of Munchkin Town!
He's not really letting El Hadj penetrate him at all!
He split 'em!
You crazy bastards, that was insane!

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Ground fighting is awesome, though. In fact, if you took the ground fighting out of MMA, you'd be left almost precisely with K-1, which is doing so poorly financially that they still haven't paid any of the fighters who performed at their 2010 Grand Prix tournament.

Don't get me wrong; both K-1 and kickboxing in general are fun as hell. There's a reason why MMA is more popular, though.

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Pff MMA has no honor left. They passed the line between a good streetfight and sport

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I've got nothing against ground fighting and I know its an integral part of a well-rounded fighter, I just have no idea what I'm watching while its going on so it bores me.

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Ground fighting is gay. I'd rather lose a fight with a flying roundhouse kick to the neck than to have my ankle twisted until I can't take it anymore, or to have some cunt kneel on my arms so I can't move them and to then methodically pommel my face with his elbow.

Chris, if we ever meet and if the inevitable consequence of that meeting happens - a fight - please don't push me to the ground to administer the ass-whoopin' via choke holds. Instead, punch my face and chest, kick my guts, gouge my eyeballs and call me names. I'd appreciate it. Just be careful not to get covered in my blood; I'm a carrier of sickle-cell.

What about me?



fxd

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Used to date a girl who was into that type of stuff. Go for it Paddy, it's totally worth it. With pics please.

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Am I the only person who thinks Piece of Time is superior to Unquestionable Presence?

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Without God, there are no grounds for comparison.

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nope

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There you go again, splicing yourself into the very fabric of my life like the social cancer you are.

I stopped reading after "Used to date a girl...". Telling lies makes the baby Jesus cry.

A lesson to all would-be murder/suiciders: don't try to machete your own throat (Not really safe for work, but not exactly harrowing either, the guy's completely fine and calm):

http://kaotic.com/10003_Suicide-Sui...-A-Machete.html

Oh yeah, and if you DO plan to machete your own throat make sure you don't have a fucking cold. Euughh.

Whyyyyy do I click on these links from you, Paddy? Goddamn. That made me a bit sick...

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I'd like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank you for the pretext. Maybe my first ever dodged MT link. Yes.
Also, and tell me if this is a personal question although I won't really care, why do you keep finding stuff like that?

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To be fair I always explain what the link contains if it's something horrific! I'm a good boy

Because I look for stuff like that. And no, I don't know why.

That fucking phlegm ball... Jesus that was disgusting. I also hate that word. And the word "coagulate".

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It wasn't that disgusting. I've seen worse on here

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This place might well be included in, like, a coroner or drug cartel hit man education. The rate of desensitization is simply amazing.

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Haha.

Oh hey, Drudkh is pretty good!

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You're probably seeing this shit in bars and restaurants, I'm guessing. If you get a chance to watch at home or somewhere with good audio, just pay close attention to guys like Rogan (or whoever does color that night and promotion). They can be quite biased in their commentary, but are generally very good at dissecting the intricacies of the positioning and explaining what each guy is trying to achieve in a way that that casual observer can understand. The submissions themselves are pretty easy to understand, but the setups require some paying of attention. I promise you this stuff is easy as peas to pick up on once you start analyzing it, though.


This sentence gave me a half chub.


I would shoot a double leg on you the second one of us stepped off the plane.

I knew you had some negro in you, and that one time we went to the movies and you "dropped" your so-called "jujubes". Why did no one jump on this setup earlier?

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Whats real damn boring unless you're really into martial arts are real Jiu-Jitsu tournaments. Basically both men know all the defense and offense moves. The first guy goes for a hold, the second negates, the second guy goes for a hold, the first guy negates. True Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu tournaments can go for hours, if it's two really good fighters it's all about stamina from the time the bell rings.

I've trained a bit in MMA mostly ground work, it may not be to fun to watch on T.V. for you but when you're training man and you're sparring with a guy 100lbs heavier than you and you sweep him, it makes you feel stronger as a fighter. It takes time and hard lessons to learn the ground work as well. While boxing isn't an art to ignore you can better grasp western boxing in a short period of time(Muay Thai is a beast of another color).

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hahaha agreed.

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LOLOLOL Just found out that you can actually download all the things Facebook has ever saved about you and your activities (which actually means everything).

https://www.facebook.com/help/conta...m=data_requests

Simply klick on Learn how in this text "Please note: We have a self-service tool that allows you to download all of your data without submitting this form. Learn how." and they'll mail you if it's ready to download. Let's see how many pages the've of my life

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Oh, hell no, would I ever do that. I've gotten quite a potty mouth being here.

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I'm actually downloading the zip they've sent me. 204MB of wonderful data. Awesome

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Yea. It's like when SÄPO (our very own secret police) almost bragged about the file they had on certain people. Now in corporate form!

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Nah, I've watched more fights than I can count with friends that have trained/fought themselves or are just generally obsessed with MMA. They explain it to me, I forgot or just don't care because its not as fun to watch as someone getting their face kicked in. I'm a simian, I know.

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Site seems to be running a little slow. Req must be uploading his video.

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Server has its moments, lol and the bashing continues.

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That would be rude if it wasn't funny.
Kickin' the wiffle ball.

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It's gonna be epic, breh.

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Epic like a new phone book on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

In Wales.

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They have phones in Wales? wow

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No, but they've read the book.

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Have you ever read a Welsh phone-book? As phone-books go they're pretty damn interesting. If you can read a single page out loud without dehydrating to death from all of the spit and phlegm spurting out of your face I'll buy you a coconut.

Yea, so I wanted a coconut, so I had the kid from next door give it a shot. Damn, you're a cold mofo.

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The trick is to let it dry and encrust first, then you can just chip it off.

where am i?!

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You are where all small, furry and squeaky creatures end up.

Wales.

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rofl That got a snort laugh from me! Gomers Guinea Pig?

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http://vimeo.com/seandunne/americanjuggalo

...my god.

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Man is it just me or were the people just so over weight & so many of them, the guy actually jumped off a platform that was submerged in the water due to those people(during the intro)? Gomers could rap better than those kids in English, and English is his second language.

LOL man man o man FUCKING MAGNETS!

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Well... at least the video is entertaining. Those people are fucked lol.

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Didn't hear where it happened, but some homecoming queen had a party and got busted at her house for underage drinking. They were getting noisy and the neighbors called the cops.

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Well she's gotta do something to wash away the memories of her dad impregnating her gullet with his warty cock.

Pff antisocial. I bet $10 that they didn't get over to ask them eo lower the volume

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(approximation from memory): "I wanna find me a skinny girl and get her fat so we can lose weight together!"

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HAhaha WHOOP WHOOP!

The pregnant lady smoking disturbed me.

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I'll second that. My neighbours above me in my first apartment literally gave me bad looks for a week before I finally dragged out of them that they thought we'd been to loud during a party.

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People are fucking weird, they act like they can't speak the hell up for their selfs.

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To be fair, his neighbours are Swedish. They'd write a letter to Obama requesting that he write a letter to Patrik on their behalf without mentioning their names rather than tell him straight that his sofa clashes with his curtains.

That's... uncomfortably accurate. A perhaps somewhat amusing addendum to that though, is that there is some slight hint of, well, call it a changing zeitgeist. It's very, very subtle, but I would be willing to bet that some of that typical Swedish mentality will be noticeably different in a generation or two. Said with the full knowledge that most people didn't know WW1 had started even when they started it themselves.

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If you ever think your life sucks:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=fc1_1318259413

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Padddy i feel more and more Irish everyday how do i get citizenship there? I stay prettty much wasted. Will you rent me a room? Remember i'm programming you something, which if i can attempt too ill send you next week. We can lay together and spoon.

Being drunk, is being Iriish.

Speaking of which I'm in this pub and the sign says banks dont serve beer and bars dont give credit. odd sign,.

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The whole world should be drunk more often. I mean, come on, there are sober children in Africa for Christ's sake! I'm currently drinking this shitty UV Blue vodka that someone left at my house because fuck all and I will pound your mother's pussy like it was Rodney King.

I wish I liked Autechre more.

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What's odd about that sign?

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I agree, fuck any other drug, alcohol is always the best value in more ways than three.

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Maybe they were obnoxious or something. I told the kids that used to come over here that if anyone got remotely out of line I'd toss them out on their ear. When we were going to have concerts in the back yard, I always invited the neighbors, but the kids never caused any problems. No fights. One guy did misplace his pants, but that's another story. (omg, chuckles to self) And no, I had no involvement in that one.

I didn't find anything odd about the sign either. Some bars allow tabs to be run up. That's basically just saying they don't in a clever way.

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You have to present the king of Ireland with a pig.

I was actually hoping for some sort of "exchange" arrangement. I've always wanted to experience life within a Native American family; I hear the women will do just about anything for a pouch of tobacco. Just make sure to shake the smallpox out of the blankets in the spare room before I come over, I'm a bit chesty at the moment.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Fuck that's depressing.

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Saw that last night, but don't worry, turns out the victim was an Afghan.

Kinda serendipitous that this clip emerged right around the same time as the last episode of Breaking Bad. The guy's shredded face even looked like Gus'!

The old guitarist, Zac, from Cephalic Carnage is fucking hilarious. On his FB: "happy birthday to my beautiful wife. I married her when she was 16 and I was 42 so its been a legal nightmare but worth it all the while. Our 2 adopted south vietnamese children truly are the bane of my existence esp. since ho lin lost her arm while napping during the tag football match last winter, but here's my song to you today. he's no borat, but now you know I'm thinking of you. I love you so goddamned much woman."

Too bad Cephalic has been sucking my balls with everything after Anomalies.

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I would never be able to join the army... If watching a video makes me feel like fainting I would be useless on the field. Being a pussy has its benefits.

Makes me also wonder the background of a soldier like that. Had he even fired a single bullet in the war? Accomplished anything? If not then he joined the army to help "protect his country" to do nothing more than get his face and leg blown off. Really depressing.

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Joe, what's up with the RIP in your signature?

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You didn't hear? Paddy died just about 2 hours ago, Bunny posted it on Facebook as she was friends with the other guy that died in the car crash...

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bunny doesn't use FB, dumbass.

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.. Yes she does. I have her friended.

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I highly doubt that, but if you say so. So were they chasing some espionagolical group or just making a tater run?

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You're all a bunch o' BASTARDS. I post videos with people being beheaded with a chainsaw and no one gives a fuck, a soldier gets blown to shreds in a war and you're all emotional and - worst of all - actually willing to WATCH IT!

I demand that you all watch this shit right now, no excuses:

NASTY BAD DRUG DEALERS CARVED UP REAL GOOD BY OTHER NASTY BAD DRUG DEALERS - NO BRAVE FREEDOM-LOVING SOLDIERS WITH KIDS AT HOME WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS VIDEO SO YOU'LL ALL BE FINE AND WON'T BE SAD!
http://www.mundonarco.com/2011/09/v...una-sierra.html

P.S. I did die, but then House came by and said I had LUPUS and cured me. Unfortunately the only way to cure my particularly viscous LUPUS was to give me AIDS, but at least that bought me enough time to come back here and waste my life.

Don't think yo ucan lie to us, Pads. You can't catch AIDS twice.

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I think they where doing a check for mines and he went through an uncleared route. I hear the Afghanis are pretty tough bastards, I mean they have been at war for a while. If I stepped on a mine I would rather die.

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Oh but for goodness sake, look at my sig. That first quote is just lacking the third line; you're old news, chum.

Also, I thought catching AIDS required blood and heart and shit?

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It just requires some sort of bodily fluid, and ginger here's known for, at the very least, his bile.

Far be it from me to argue with your keen knowledge of AIDS.

The third line being "I'm little more than a rose pruner with ideas above my station."?

I wouldn't expect a Swede to even know what blood is, ya fight-dodging pansy. Your doctors are probably blindfolded and given counselling before and after treating a skinned knee.

Sorry, but the last time I spoke to a stranger he turned out to be a covetous Jew who managed to pick my pocket from 4 feet away. He also drove down the value of my house by chanting a passage from the Torah. I think he was a chef; I could tell by his chequered trousers and homosexual's hat. As he sped away on the back of a wheeled Palestinian I yelled "DICK!" after him, and for some reason he hit the brakes on the Arab and came back, and said "it's Richard, actually. BOOGA WOOGA!". As soon as he said "BOOGA WOOGA" all of my personal savings were taxed.

So, you'll excuse me if I duck out of this conversation, I can't risk another episode like the one I.................OH CHRIST IT'S YOU!! *checks wallet* ahhhh fuck!!!!! Well, so much for treating myself to a limbless hooker tonight.

The only reason Rich still comes around is because the screen is green and he loves all things green. I keep my wallet wrapped in pork belly to keep him from taking it seems to work.

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No wonder we have all of this fiery sexual tension between us, he's a fuckin' closet Irish-o'phile! And I like circumcised cocks!! And I was also born with horns on my head which have to be filed down every winter!

I fucking love pork belly, so maybe the reason your Tiger-repelling rock technique 'works' is because Paddy only 'loses' all his money because the Ginger Irish are a penurious, scabrous, febrile, benighted, and ill-spending lot, and he's the worst of 'em (his only positive is that he is sterile, not that midget sodomy is likely to produce offspring). And, in typical Ginger fashion, he blames his own piss-poor disbursal of funds and general inability to make a positive impact on his own life on the specter of the Semite, rather than turn his pustule-laden ocular socket, bulging with his alleged 'eye,' inward (though I can't blame him for preferring not to look at himself; I've always been glad of the solid block of green and orange separating us, as I'm sure is the case with most of you).

Yes, I would wish instant death.

Oh and L,B'XXX... Paddy died 2 hours ago and he was my father. You can read about it on Bunny's FB.

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