If you had to commit suicide, for whatever reason, what method would you choose? For me it'd have to be Ordeal By Jew. I'd go to a Harlem restaurant and order something fishy. The combination of being made bankrupt and dying of food poisoning would be a noble and selfless way of illustrating the danger of unchecked Jewdom.

Hey, you might as well order something pork and make the chef squirm a little, too. You're not thinking clearly, Paddy.

__________________

Minge. Death by minge. Possibly via suffocation; I've not seen a minge that can fire bullets or administer pills or take the strain of a rope-man combination, although to be fair I've never been to Benidorm to see Sticky Vicky.

__________________

I'd quite like to drown in girl-cum, but not a straight forward drowning where I'm viscously hosed with it or simply dunked into a vat of it. I'd like to be in a giant canal-like structure with a ceiling and have the cum level gradually rise over the course of several hours, and it'd have to be kept at internal body temperature. I'd see if I could swallow enough of it to buy myself an extra minute or two of breathing space as I'm pressed against the ceiling, sucking in the last inch of air. I'd try and squeeze in a few underwater (undercum?) wanks before the big finale too, but I'd rather wait until I've drank my fill of the tangy honey drippings before that. I'm not a fuckin' weirdo, like.

It's a judgment on SaE that a ginger's suicidal fantasies mark a step up in general RTT quality.

__________________

Amadeus, when I see RTT I think of you. It sounds like a chainsaw r-t-t-t-t-t.

__________________

Neither have you seen a minge in general.

Ey!

I'd like to die by having an orgasm from a BJ that was so intense that the vigorous sucking would cause me to ejaculate all of my innards through my urethra and into the girl's stomach. I bet that would taste offal.

Or maybe a boxing match to the death with Ernest Hemingway.

__________________

You're naivety astounds me, Mansley. Haven't you seen their secret, sleeper cell training videos where they pick up quarters with ease and eject ping pong balls at deadly velocity? What do you suppose they were preparing for?

The problem was allowing them to vote in the first place. I wish Artie Kendall were president.

__________________

sheesh, has it ever taken this long for somebody to say CUNT?

__________________

If I offed myself, I would do some drugs and shoot myself at the top of a cliff or building. That way if the bullet fails I can still fall and have less chance of ending up as a vegetable.

__________________

Better a vegetable than a I can't remember what the joke was suppose to be.

__________________

If I'd commit suicide I'd do something extremely gross and splattering, probably rip up my stomach so my organs can fell out and then take a good nap of water in my mouth and then shoot my head off through my mouth. Thanks to physics and our anatomy the whole back of my head would explode. Fuck yeah

__________________

"johnmansley" is synonymous with "cunt". Wherever he posts thar shall be cuntage by default. And it's to his credit.

<3 I'm not the only one.

__________________

Oh, how to commit suicide. Well, that's easy. Strap a bunch of transmitting sensors on myself and then off to death by the cosmic gravitational shear at the very cusp of the event horizon of a black hole.

I also find it quite amusing that only yesterday a somewhat hysterical debate about young uns' talking about suicide on the net started in the political sphere here. Tripple-X, you're not taking your responsibility!

__________________

Hey, I had to tolerate my elderly grandmother wanting Kevorkian's number for years until I finally told her it was unlisted and she stopped so I'm just reading all the peepee envy going on as everyone tries to one up the next. Very creative to say the least, and I wonder how some come up with the ideas. I would like to think that all of you are stronger than that anyways since some have gone through some tremendous trials.

__________________

Sagan's dead, he ain't listening. How do you really wanna die?

So have you! I still have the newspaper clippings from The Ohio Turnip Stuffer case.

Good lord, Paddy! I was at the greenhouse yesterday and passed by some turnip plants and thought of you! haha (I'm glad I thought to insert the word "by" in that sentence.)

__________________

IT'S UNBELIEVEABLE WHAT NOISES CAN COME OUT OF YOUR GUTS OMG!
3 days now just gargling and bubbling and I dunno what. Fuck that's annoying

__________________

Ulcers? Be careful what you're ingesting. That doesn't sound too good, Gomers.

__________________

I'd go with suicide by cop. Rob some banks or high speed car chase and at the end just let the cops do the work.

__________________

I know [he said smugly]. Being a Saganist means that type of remark merely crashes into a big, pathetic, stinking pile of "Yea... so?". Ha.



Late.

__________________

Ulcers are famous for creating pain. I don't have any. It's just unbelievable how much my guts are gurgling and how much gas I'm producing.
I have way too many problems in my life. I'm so emo

__________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRru7xBlWmU

__________________

Gommers, you have the uberecoli. I heard that's how it starts.

I think I'd like to go out like this: Go to some bar or party and bring some slutbag back home. During sex just pull out a handgun while laughing manically and shoot myself, dying on top and inside of her. She'll never forget me!

__________________

Just as a small addendum to the preceding RTT (glances at Chris) I thought this was both fun and interesting. Tighter budgetary rules and bank supervision - coming down hard on classic white collar crime - did indeed play an important role in this little sunshine story. Also, those Sweden Democrats - that's SaE mulitiplied by a few thousand and nineteen seats in riksdagen. Same old, same old.
http://www.economist.com/node/18805503

__________________

His post count is currently 88 - don't encourage him to reply, it's too perfect!

hahaha I should not find that funny, but I do.

__________________

Nah I don't have bloody diarrhea nor any extreme gut cramps that cause paralysis
Suprisingly the little fucker changed and now he loves to climb your nerves and give you epilepsy.

__________________

Just bought a new (kind of) monsterPC, GTA IV AND ASSASSINS CREED BROTHERHOOD CRYSIS 2 ALL OPTIONS ON AAAAAAAWWWWWWWSHITBOUTTAGETREEEEEAAAL

Also I fell asleep with my MP3 still on, playing this. Woke up crying. Awesome.

__________________

I once fell asleep with my iPod on listening to Radiohead, and I don't know what setting it was on but the band right after them was Rage Against The Machine. Bulls On Parade came on and woke me up instantly. It was very confusing lol.

__________________

Going back to the topic of suicide, someone committed it because the new South Park episode was so depressing.



I used to turn on Opeth's Blackwater Park and end up falling asleep about halfway through The Leper Affinity. Rude awakening when the next track would come on.

__________________

I actually needed to listen to my mp3 players to fall asleep for a few years. Then my last zune died (it's what they're built to do) a couple of weeks ago...

I was actually close to building a slumber playlist right before it happened. I find certain albums to be unbelievably relaxing and help me drift off into sleep. Perhaps counter-intuitively, all of those albums are metal. A few off the top of my head-

Morbid Angel - Gateways to Annihilation
Sadus - Swallowed in Black
Pestilence - Malleus Maleficarum
Suffocation - Breeding the Spawn
Watchtower - Energetic Disassembly
Monstrosity - Imperial Doom
Destruction - Release from Agony
Megadeth - Peace Sells
Sepultura - Arise
Sacrifice - Forward to Termination
Morbid Saint - Spectrum of Death

I find that albums with a dark production work best, but those with an atmospheric production also work well, as do those with a lot of mid-paced songs.

__________________

Whhhaaat? Source, please. Still haven't seen it though its sitting in my DVR.

__________________

Not really a legit source, just stuff I read on 4chan. http://imgur.com/DoS1f

__________________

4chan.. a.. source?


I don't know how the fuck you sleep to that. I can't fall asleep if there's music on and I have to be either extremely tired or drunk to fall asleep with the TV on.

This just in: I just found out PJ Harvey is pretty cool. I always thought she was a black man when I heard her name up until about a week ago.

__________________

I'm with you on pretty much all of those. Though my all time favorite lullaby band is Opeth. Dunno why, I love their music. There's just something soothing and relaxing about it.
Then again, I'm blessed with this wonderful ability to basically lie down, decide "Sleep" and turn off like flipping a power switch.

__________________

__________________

Its laughable but I really wouldn't doubt it at all.

__________________

4chan is a source, for many... many things.

__________________

Man 4chan is by far the worst forum I've ever seen. Amazingly enough how chaotic that forum is they can pull together to do DDos attacks. I remember a thread on there about sexing your sister.

__________________

I am so lost. So lost. Out to see. In a chainsaw without a forest and I know I should edit that, but that's how messed up and distressed I am. My old puter got heat stroke so I'm using dear eldest son's tower. I'm hoping its a minor thing or I'm going to just curl up in a corner whimpering and repeating- I should know to never trust electronics because they're evil........

__________________

Out to see what? Out to see what? Oh, and I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but it's us who construct the electronics that are the actual wellsprings of the evil, really. That, and out to see what?



It's dark in there...

__________________

Try the light switch.

__________________

That'd be an awesome read though

__________________

Wish I had a stalker like this:

NSFW (contains the man's uneventful gun-in-mouth suicide at the end, but it's worth watching even if you're a sissy)
http://goregrish.com/the-video-diary-of-ricardo-lopez/

It's an hour-and-forty minutes of an 18 hour video diary from Ricardo López, the guy who stalked Björk.

I can't wait to see Gomli's video when he finally cracks and starts sending letter bombs to David Hasselhoff.

Only two persons exist for me that could be worth stalking:
Julia Bond and Lisa Ann.

Killing Hasselhoff would be badass though

__________________

So you either love big, fake titties or fat, jiggly ass. I prefer fat, jiggly ass myself, but to each his own.

One thing we can all agree upon; a well known fact the world over, is that all Germans *LOVE* David Hasselhoff.

__________________

Julia Bond, really? She's so plain and, as stated, fake, and the only interesting thing about her is that she hasn't gotten AIDS yet. I think Bjork is a perfect stalking candidate and proved to be so. I'm wearing her panties on my head as I type this. I also stalk Richard. He doesn't know this, but I moved to NYC (the lower east side, where he resides, naturally) and eat in the deli he works three times a day.

I'd stalk Gail Simmons next if I needed another sexy Jewish chef in my life. Fuck me do I have a crush on her.

__________________

Muthafucka! Punk-assed bitch! The path of the righteous man! Now that's a tasty burger! Niebaum! There's some muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' plane muthafucka! Fuck you! Yes they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!

__________________

Ooooooooookaaaaaaaay...

__________________

Ooooh! I think I'm gonna like you. I'll even love you if you'd let me!

I'm so bad, I know! Somebody stop me!

Oh I'm sorry, did I break yo' concentration? I don't remember aksin' you a God damn thing.

Yes Jon Venables and Robert Thompson deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell! Along with the rest of those Merseyside faggots! This is some fucked up, repugnant shit.

You think? Cracka, we ain't got time fo' yo' thinking! They gonna blow up the muthafuckin' train, muthafucka!

I'll stop yo' ass wit' ma AK, muthafucka! Does he look like a bitch? DOES. HE. LOOK. LIKE. A. BITCH?

Righteous.

__________________

Sammy, how come you never acted with me? I've been working with Danny Glover so long that I sometimes forget he's a subhuman brownie, I'd like to work with some fresh black pudding for a change so that I don't grow too attached and drop my guard thus opening up my mid-section to liberalism. I just hope you don't end up pulling a Danny on me and shanking me in the bathroom for taking the last pig trotter from the cafeteria. I don't even like them, I just eat 'em to piss off Spielberg.

Rip T., Jew your way back to San Francisco.

__________________

What?

What was it they said about lovers scorned, again? Haters gonna hate, aren't they Melanie? By the way, that's an ugly shade of BITCH you're wearing today!

CONFETTI TIME!

Christ loves all of his children, no matter what their race, creed or sex/sexuality. I don't, however. I dispatched a wiry Chink in the 70s - just to see what his slope-eyed face looked like as my heel rocketed towards his jaw - and I can dispatch any number of Micks, Spics, blacks, Jews or Liverpudlians at my leisure with equal finesse and bone-crunching grace. So simmer down ya rancid mismatch of hilarious ethnic characters or I'll unleash a whirlwind of charlie horses - in your FACES.

You know nothing of my work, muthafucka!

Scorned? You mean infected with gut-rotting AIDS? YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!

__________________

Oh goodness you guys, it's Him, I'm melting.

__________________

I'm old enough to remember Rip and his confetti. Someone's boredom and lack of meds really created some entertainment.
And I thought Dylpickle's Dick confessions were funny. ummm nevermind.....

__________________

I like her tattoos and her ass. That's enough for me!

But come on Gail Simmons???
http://images.teamsugar.com/files/u...il2.preview.jpg
Fuckin weird man

__________________

She looks like a reasonably convincing tranny. But then again, so does Dylan's mother. Let's see you Freud your way outta that one, cunto.

I had to go back and reread that. The first time I thought he said GENE SIMMONS!!! roflmao Maybe that's who he really meant.

__________________

Pretty cute video:

(it's safe)
http://www.rasheed-b.com/2006/08/23...crocodile-jaws/

Man Without a Face never would have happened otherwise.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's not your fault hicks can't read at the same level as the rest of us or indeed the talking sign language monkey from the movie Congo.

Speaking of hippos spitting out perfectly good food, my cunt of a wife still won't blow me and be grateful. Similarly, Oprah keeps posting on my Facebook wall that she's going on a 3 day fast for charity. I guess that pretty much resolves the Somalian famine issue.

Oh yeah, and FUCK JEWS. Blacks I can tolerate, mainly because without them the "buddy cop" movie genre would necessarily have to involve Chinks or Spics, and Christ knows I got no time for slanty-eyed bean-breathers with little wooden shoes and unkempt upper lips. Micks would be good to work with I guess, at least their massive cocks and perfect, chiselled looks would sell more tickets, even if they are a bunch of highly educated scholars and poets; damn those handsome bastards!

Sammy L. Blackson hasn't responded to my offer to work with him, so I guess that means he's either blanking me or has black man blindness - a blindness which causes black men to not heed the advice of white men, thus ruining their chances of advancement in life. Remember Sammy, house N-words have houses; think about it. Call me!

__________________

I just ran over a little bird with the mower. I FEEL AWFUL!!!!

__________________

Now you know how God felt on 9/11.

Poor little thing. I was looking for my sickle and saw some feathers. I looked closer and saw part of a small wing, innards, and a leg. And it looked like a nest, but it might have been a clump off the tractor, but it was in some real tall grass in a swampy area so I don't know what kind of bird it even was. Just a little brown birdie.

__________________

Whoa brown birdie, bam-a-lam,
Whoa brown birdie, bam-a-lam!

omg..... I HATE that song, too. Thanks. shredded tweet.

__________________

You know who I feel sorry for the most? That dead bird's eggs. Who's gonna vomit chewed-up worms into their beaks now? I imagine the person who slaughtered their mother might bear that responsibility, but why should you do it Bobbi? It's not like there's some mystical omniscient being in the sky - the creator of all things - watching and judging your every move...

Oh...

Best get to digging for worms (the ones in your ass won't do) before the rapture hits. And by "rapture" I of course mean "terminal titty rot".

Paddy, you misunderstand! But you're ginger so you can't help it. I think it was a baby bird in the nest. There were no others around. It might have even been booted from the nest and dead already, but it looked like the blood was kinda fresh. Beats me.

__________________

A week or two ago I shot a squirrel with a .22 rifle. The round pierced through its lower abdomen, and it just sort of sat there for a few seconds then fell off the branch. It was still alive, so I started beating it a few times with the rifle stock and the dude was still breathing. I beat it some more and I think it finally died when it's head caved in. Brain matter and blood all over my stock. I didn't really want it to take a whole minute to die, but whatever. They are pests around here.

__________________

HAHAHA, she looks absolutely terrifying in that picture and now that I'm looking at pictures of her on google, I can admit she does not photograph well. She's much more appealing live

__________________

She's not bad. She has a sweet rack, anyway. I'm giving this one to Gomers, though. Bonds wins with dat ass.

Also, fuck hippos. They're always cock-blocking crocodiles just to troll.

__________________

Are there Jews in Harlem? I think you're confusing Jews and blacks, which is understandable, given that as a Ginger Irishman you've never encountered either. I'm assuming you're aware that there's a Harlem in New Amsterdam and not just the one in Holland, but that's really assuming a lot given your displayed intellect.

That was the most horrific Gail Simmons picture I've ever seen. According to my friends who've met her, she's pretty sexy (if also tending towards fat) in person. And she gets excited if you have a serious meat program, which is hot.

Red squirrels are bothersome here because they chew wiring and stuff like that, but fox squirrels are cool and they're fun to watch. You could have just broken its neck if you were having that much trouble.

__________________

that's what I tried initially

__________________

Thats an awesome video. That reminds me that I want to watch Planet Earth again.

Oh and BREAKING BAD SEASON 4 begins tomorrow... Fuck yes... mother fucker.

__________________

I see. It dawned on me as I was driving to my friend's house that I forgot to yell at you for using your gun stock to beat it! You'll shoot yer eye out!! I almost shot myself in the foot once because I miscounted the rounds in the Ruger .22 pistol I was shooting. Carry a knife or a hammer next time.

__________________

Oh shit, you know people that've met her? I'd pay to lick their hands. I think she's incredibly sexy on film and the extra meat she has on her helps. How did your friends get to meet her? I've got a pretty big meat program I'm sure she'd get excited about. And yeah, I don't know what the fuck is up with that picture or why anyone thought it'd be a good one to publish.

And hell yes I'm excited for Breaking Bad, even if I almost have a heart attack with every episode.

__________________

Don't worry, I emptied the mag and cleared the chamber before doing so

nice!

__________________

You sure you're not a month early? I read that it's starting July 17th, not June. I'd like to be wrong, but I'm Paddy, so I'm not.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breaki..._%28season_4%29

I thought I'd dry fired the last shot and when it went bang in the ground a few in front of me I learned a valuable lesson. At least you were thinking.

__________________

Oh god dammit, Ian.

__________________

Internet, where gingers come to use google and cheat in the game of life.

__________________

FUCKING HELL. I heard June 17th from two different people... WTF.

__________________

It may have already been dead. Too bad it wasn't a crow though. I hate crows Obnoxious little shitheads...

Years ago there was this one crow that would always dive-bomb me and my neighbors for absolutely no reason whenever we left our houses. One day I was outside and witnessed my neighbor being viciously pecked by the damn thing. Now most people would laugh at the idea of a grown man having his ass handed to him by a bird, but the fact that it drew blood and he had to go to the hospital for a series of shots wasn't amusing at all. So the next morning I waited outside for the thing and shot it.

It was a victorious day for me.

__________________

Did you look for a nest? They're territorial and most birds would react the same way. Crows are very smart birds. According to my grandma, her dad split a crow's tongue and taught it to talk. I've seen jays and robins divebomb dogs before, but there were nests or babies around.

I think this bird was probably still alive just because there was a little fresh blood. A bird that size would probably only have about a half teaspoon if that. It might have been though.

__________________

Hm. Wow. For my part, these days I usually share the balcony with two little birds; they're in the habit of sitting on the railing like two fluffy balls with a beak on the end, chirping and checking out the landscape, at about the same time I have my morning tea out there. This morning one of them fluttered over to the table and had itself a real good look-see at me. "What are you? And why don't you have wings?"
I feel so extremely un-metal right now, and a tad depressed at the fact.

__________________

I'd ride the dorsal fin of the biggest great white I could find for as long as it'd let me.

I'd take the reins of a T-Rex if they weren't extinct.

__________________

I would take the reins of an Allosaurus and beat the shit out of your T-Rex. Anybody else like the idea of dinosaur gladiator fights?

__________________

Wasn't that a tv show for awhile? Where they simulated cg fights between dinosaurs and other prehistoric badasses? I'm pretty sure you can make your dinosaur war-game fantasies come true, chris.

I'd eject from my T-Rex right before it exploded and land on my Spinosaurus with laser-guided missile launchers as hands.

Did the big carnivorous dinos even use their hands? Or was it just to make them look hilarious?

__________________

I would fuck a dolphin

__________________

I have an amazing picture I drew when I was 6 or 7 of Dinosaurs with lasers shooting at each other and ninjas jumping out of helicopters. I'll have to find it as it pretty much is a dinosaur gladiator war zone.


Sex With Dolphins - a "How To", - and a personal Viewpoint
I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.

__________________

Haha, yeah they did! I remember because one of the episodes that came out was the same exact premise as a song that I written and I was worried that if I actually ever got around to recording that song that they might claim it was their idea, despite the fact that I had written it first (and despite the fact that the scene was well recorded by paleontologists).

Most groups did, including Allosaurids and Spinosaurids, but Tyrannosaurs certainly didn't. At least, not for anything particularly useful. I'd throw out the possibility that they may have served some reduced breeding-related function, much like the cloacal spurs (primitive, reduced leg bones) of boid and pythonid snakes. Males will use their cloacal spurs as a sort of foreplay, tickling the female along her back with them in order to make her more receptive.

__________________

That sound so much like something Maddox would do.

__________________

I was a pretty bad ass kid. If I find it I'll scan it.

__________________

My mamakickurass would beat down your Allosauraus and your T Rex. After all, the t stands for teensy.


Amadeus, put some seed or crumbs by you and see if you can be the bird whisperer.

__________________