Bought a Dave Mustaine autographed guitar the other day. Bricks were about shat when they showed me the guitar. These two sales guys at the local music store, Pete and Brian, got me scared someone else was about to call, any minute, seal the deal, and buy it. Long story short, I bought the guitar on spot. All is good... Until I get home and looked closer. The autograph smelled of fresh marker and was STILL WET!

I called and got the owner, telling him, " You got two guys in sales, Pete and Brian, that sold me a BS guitar just minutes ago. I would like to talk with them and then I bringing it back for a refund".

Owner is like, "Pete and Brian"?

Me, "Yeah, Pete and Brian! Those Douche nozzles owe me"!

Owner says, "Pete... Pete sales, but whose Brian"?

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I fapped.

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Oh that answers MORE than my question... if you know what I mean... and by what I mean I mean I've been drinking quite a moderate amount. Ignore my post.

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Anyone interested in the Mandelbrot set can click this link to see what "zooming-in" on the Mandelbrot set looks like. Keep an eye out for repeating patterns upon magnification - a tell-tale sign you're dealing with a fractal.

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On the whole I must admit that wikipedia has become a pretty damn good source for anyone who's looking for a introduction to the subject. Still will put a red mark if I ever were to find it in a paper, though.

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That was awful. I had a hard time leaving it due to anticipation. And it was so paisley-like and Indian looking. That could amuse me for hours.

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Oh my god.

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This is the definition of charisma

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So did you find out if the guitar was "stolen" and they ripped off the money from you as well as the shop? I hope they both get their comeuppance. There's a lot of stuff you have to consider when you're paying for a signature on something for exactly the reason you found out. That's just so .... I'd like to ream 'em a new one myself. Hope you and the owner get that worked out.

Your story did remind me of something I wanted to mention to you guys. If you get a t shirt autographed watch out how it's stored. I don't know how to break it to Bob but all the autographs on his Morbid Angel shirt disappeared. There may have been fabric softener on it or it may have just deteriorated over time, but watch if you have anything like that.

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It was a joke. The punchline was a pun on one Megadeth's albums "Peace sells... but who's buying?"

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Good good, a strong opening, let's see where he's going with this:

Hmmm, not the strongest punchline you could have come up with, but I found it quite amusing nonetheless. In fact, I think when you're doing this in your act you could almost just open with "Anyone interested in the Mandelbrot set..." and then stop talking, look around the room, and await a mass laughter-induced rectal prolapse among the audience. The rest is superfluous and just dampens the room, a bit like when Bobbi's gynaecologist presses down on her stomach.

And just how would you know he does that?

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You know that 100 gallon drum at the foot of the bed? Who do you think buys that from him at the end of every working week? What he does isn't even a proper gynaecological procedure, I just slip him 50 bucks each Monday and he ensures I get at least 600 gallons of gut-slop by Friday afternoon to do with as I see fit. And believe me, I do see fit.

Oh, and here I thought there was a reasonable explanation.

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Epoch MySpace , again, FINALLY got the bullshit player to work. 2 full tracks have been uploaded now.

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u and me. buttsex. even though i think the bassdrum sounds kinda ...well not weak but it sounds a little, just a tiny little bit flat and i looove bassdrum.

I'm now awake for about 52 hours, got drunk two times and still can't sleep buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I'm so happy about my new band you guys can't imagine how much I'm filled with glory and awesomeness

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OOOOOOOHH....

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I'm glad you got it. I don't anyone else read it completely.

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Well, the old broad didn't know what it was about, but at least it reminded me to say something about the t shirts and autographs.

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TRUE METAL HEAD INSIDE JOKE!

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I got confused at "Pete sales".

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I never read anything more than a few sentences because I'm a mongoloid. But once you explained, it was pretty funny. Also, I am drunk in the middle of the day, which was not intended.

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THANK YOU METALTABS FOR EXISTING! My computer was out of comission for a couple months and I lost everything. I just came on to see if I had posted any songs here I could extract. And I did, and I'm happy. See you in a year or so.

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u jelly

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fucking melvin

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I know the feeling! Glad you could gather your songs! I lost loads of writing years ago when my pc fried and the forum I was on redone from square one. Oh, the heartbreak! Glad yours worked out well. Stop by again
sometime!

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Still getting phantom pains in your wooden arse?

Someone just discovered 4chan.

He'd discover his toes and be excited,

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I discovered some hoes and was excited, does that count?

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Females or garden implements or females with garden implements? Heck, if I could find the latter I might utilize those!

Edit: Just thinking about writing a hiphop song about gardening called "Hoes In Corn Rows."

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Some ho stole my bottle of gin last night

I am still sort of pissed.

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Just imagine you'd see a bottle standing therer all alone. WWJD?!

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Maybe take a sip and leave it? not take it then claim it was mine all along

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Maybe she shared it with her ho sisters who the fuck knows. Beat that bitch when you see her but first of all :

LOOK AT THIS MOFOS

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yeah, my appetite is gone now

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WTF HELL NO. I dont go into that virgin pool. I just like memes.

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That looked like bait on a plate.

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I chuckled, FWIW. My little brother and I used to make that same joke when we were younger, but our version was Pete Sells, not Pete Sales. Your version had a better back story which really drives the punchline.

Just because a joke is cheesy doesn't mean it isn't awesome. I fucking love cheesy jokes more than Paddy loves Rich's dick cheese quiche.

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I love octopus. Not sure how good it is raw, but I'd give it a go.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzJEGqek3TQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv_OxuZzIxY

What the fuck's wrong with a bacon sammich?

words just can't describe how hard I would've puked

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What was this? It was taken down. EDIT: No, it just isn't available for me because I'm in the US. That makes sense.


Aah, I love that movie. I read somewhere that the hardest part for Choi Min-sik doing that scene was that he is a practicing Buddhist vegetarian.

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Damn, anyone ever heard Morbid Saint? Old school thrash I just stumbled upon and its fucking awesome. Steve? Seems up your alley.

Click To Head Bang

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You haven't heard them before? Damn, you got a nice little audio trek ahead of ya.

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Lock up the children, nigga.

Spectrum of Death was a very good album. There were tons of thrash bands of similar or better quality, though. You ever check out Sadus, Paradox, Mekong Delta, Slayer (San Antonio), Violence, Tankard, Nasty Savage, Gammacide, Blind Illusion, Toxik, Watchtower, Sacrifice, Sabbat, or Acrophet? Out of those bands, Sacrifice is the most similar to Morbid Saint, so check them out if you haven't yet.

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I'll be sure to. Out of that list I know Sadus and Toxik (like the former, okay with the ladder). I was never huge into thrash, so its something I really never scratched the surface with. I wish I had taken the time to listen to some of these more obscure thrash bands when I was younger, as around ages 16-18 I would have really creamed over some of the really raw/aggressive shit but I was too engrossed with death metal.

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Osama is Dead. He will be missed.

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Only thrash band I still listen to. Second album has good shit aswell, especially on the drums.

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So, the strongest military power on the planet pinpoints this one guy. What do they do? They assassinate him. Fuck's sake, America. Fuck's sake.

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THE FUCK?! Why did you kill bin Laden? Hide & Seek was always my favourite game and just kill him when you lose? Fuck the USA

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Osama was even better at Hide & Seek than Anne Frank was.

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Osama deserved to die. I mean how big a cunt do you have to be in order to take credit for the Jewses' most successful operation to date?

And Anne Frank was a mooching little cunt.

Come on. Do you really think Bin Laden would have been taken alive anyways? It doesn't state anywhere that the US killed him only that he was killed during the raid, his body taken, DNA sampled, and buried at sea with Islamic rites ( at least thats the story ). I would say thats better than blowing him to bits via a missile. Perhaps he was killed by the US, maybe he knew the end had come and shot himself but either way, I don't believe he wanted to be taken alive. The point is bastard had is coming for a long time and justice has been done. Not one US injury during the raid either. Thats pretty freaking awesome.

America, fuck yeah

Here is a thought. Maybe he was captured alive but the world thinks he is dead, lmfao, no one will ever miss him or look for him. Now that would be a true event of testicular holocaust.

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I took it as read that the fucker had died years ago, but his spectre was kept alive by the U.S./U.K. for obvious reasons. Whatever the case may be Osama "Tim Osmond" bin Laden is officially no more, which is news that ain't gonna ruin my day to say the least. I don't think of it as the U.S. government being heavy handed or gung-ho, I see it as them taking responsibility for their own lack of foresight in training up a fundamentalist hit squad to CIA standards and then giving them 6 billion dollars to fund their various "projects".

Tragically, for the civilian population of New York, Iraq and Afghanistan they were about 9 and a half years too late.

And before we start waving American flags in celebration let's do a simple binary sort:

Who has killed more innocent civilians since September 10th 2001? Bin laden/Al Qaeda or the Coalition of the Willing? Even if we assume that 1 American civilian is worth about 1000 Iraqi civilians - which is evident from the attitudes of Western media/politicians - I think the scales are still tipped quite heavily in one direction. In fact, the scales are fucking vertical.

Pics of corpse or it didn't happen.

I'm serious. I want photos of the body. Not so much as proof, but whenever a big death occurs I just love looking at the body lol.

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But.... Bin Laden is pwned. It fucking happened. Epic win for America!

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If you release a pit-bull into a primary school and it mauls half the kids to death, then you kill the other half of the kids with grenades as you try to kill the pit-bull, is it an epic win when you have the fucker's head in a display case the next day?

I will not be baited into such an analogy, but for the sake of lulz. Yes, epic fucking win indeed Anyone with any instinct to live would stay the fuck away from someone with that big a target on their head.

Besides, it isn't like we nuked the site from orbit.

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Only one problem with this "epic win": Possible terrorist shitstorm may be on the way?

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I agree. I hope its just the death throws of this whole mess now that the spiritual leader of this jihad has been capped. Most of the other powerful leaders have been killed over the last decade. There is a serious power vacuum in the ranks and that will be useful to help combat these bastards.

What is interesting is that Bin Laden was living comfortable in a mansion at the heart of Pakistan, just north of the capital, right next to their military college. For once we just went in without telling Pakistan the plan and their he was. Will Pakistan bitch about it? I think it would be a mistake to get defensive about having Bin Laden found and eliminated in your country. Makes you wonder if some Pakistan leaders knew and were exploiting that fact. Its a very corrupt country. There could be more to that story.

Edit: Besides, hasn't there been a terrorist shit storm happening everyday? Thats the real problem. It will never end if left alone. There is no live and let live with these fucks. They will kill you without a second thought if given the chance, American or not. You have to confront and destroy terrorist in order for them to stop. That is a fact. I wish innocent people weren't hurt during this shit but these fuckers hide with innocent women and children like fucking cowards.

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We're talking now about religious terrorism, right? Sort of what christians did a couple of hundred years ago, hindus back when India and Pakistan were one state (Ghandi :O) and now a few muslim fanatics.
I'm just a little bit suspicisous about how they're handling with the pieces of information. I saw a photo of the corpse today morning in TV but now they say it was a fake and Osama is already in the sea so they can't take a picture of the corpse. But seriously first of all you're looking for the head of Al-Qaeda (question is how much power did he really had after 9/11 and how many separate groups of al-qaeda exist), puplic enemy number 1 in which name many many people lost their life, hunt him down and blow his fucking head off and then give him a nice burial at sea? Come on, seriously?
If he's dead that's cool let's see how things will change or how many revenge assaults will be in the future.

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That photo of his body is fake. Someone on 4chan proved it to be a photoshop earlier this morning.

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Buried at sea is about the only thing that could be done. Who the hell would want him buried in their county? Then again, I bet I could have got a fortune for his ashes on Ebay.

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Yeah, but... why dump his body so quickly? Without taking photos of it?

I'll be honest, I'm finding this whole thing a little bit hard to believe.

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I really don't think he was buried at sea... yet anyway. Then again, what use is he after a positive ID? Perhaps Obama wants to use his skull as an ash tray. I'm 1000% sure there are pics but we may never see them.

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Who could know for sure I guess. It is a very convenient time for Obama to catch him though. Either way I doubt Osama being dead or alive will change anything but civilian morale, as cynical as that sounds.

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Good point, but it sure does feel good. America should be proud.

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How is this baiting? It's a fairly apt analogy for funding, training and releasing into the wild Osama bin Laden, having him attack you and then obliterating 2 countries in response. He was your Golem and you couldn't contain it, yet you seem extremely happy with the way things turned out all the same, which is baffling.

Interesting logic, and I'm sure the millions of scorched shepherds and kids are happy to have undergone carpet bombing as long as one or two baddies die as well. I just hope you're not one of those hypocrites who wonders aloud why America is hated the world over on the one hand while on the other hand happily accepting collateral damage in the form of the mass slaughter of innocent brown people, but judging from your reasoning you probably are

Do you think the people who died in the towers had it coming too? I mean, what bigger target is there in the world than the United States? They should they have known better and fucked off to Mexico instead, they obviously had no "instinct to live".

The guys who killed him should be proud of themselves not the country as it's whole

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lol yeah. It reminds me of people that brag about "MY COUNTRY INVENTED THIS, AND WON THAT WAR" etc etc... but did YOU actually DO any of those things, or at least help? Nope.

Doug Stanhope pretty much sums that up in this short clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQEcMTSgg5w

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America can be proud that a self declared spiritual leader and enemy of all people not Islamic has been removed, and yes, I did fucking help. 6 fucking years of help. He is dead. That fact alone makes me very happy, nothing more. This whole mess is very complicated and I don't have all the answers, but it isn't over by any means. People get hurt in conflicts like this, and that is unfortunate, but the US hasn't carpet bombed a populated area since Vietnam, so were is the mass slaughter? Plus name one conflict where there wasn't collateral damage. I know I never targeted innocent people. That is not American policy unlike many seem to think, but that is the policy of terrorist. America is hated for many reasons that are normally founded in ignorance, envy, religious rhetoric, or because it represents the strongest symbol of freedom and liberty in the world, thus also making it the largest target.

What has happened is some people think its cool and awesome to blindly label and flame America as they seem fit and others just pile on the fag heap without solid facts. I don't know how everyone in other countries would feel about having there country attacked like the US was, but I'm sure it wouldn't involve spreading checks for ramming of further cock. Well, maybe France, but the first thing another country would do is kick some ass, am I right, or has the world turned into a bunch of ass grabbing, terrorist scared, Bin Laden cock suckers?

And today a thousand conspiracy theories was born.

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I can't say with the operating environment we are in that the "civilian" death count is solid. You have goat fuckers pretending to be farmers during the day and then go out and take pot-shots with ak's at soldiers. The more liberal side of the media probably skews this a lot.

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:\ you fucking serious? The last official count - that is, the last official count not conducted by the U.S. government - was from the Lancet medical journal which said several years ago that the Iraqi death toll was likely already at the 1,000,000 mark, and that was only civilians, enemy combatants weren't included in the figures. Entire villages, schools, hospitals and other civilian infrastructure have been levelled repeatedly in both Iraq and Afghanistan. They didn't fucking level them with good intentions, they bombed them back to the Stone Age and they apparently didn't give too much of a fuck about how many innocent people they turned into a fine paste in the process.

America is hated because the general response the world gets from criticising America consists of the same list of fatuous reasons you just gave us, with "they hate our freedoms" being the most pigheaded of them all. There are places in the world freer than America which aren't under attack from Islam. America is hated because it is an overtly chauvinistic, jingoistic and unflinchingly violent empire. Read PNAC's "Rebuilding America's Defenses" or crack open a history book and tell me I'm wrong.

This is the problem; you dismiss any criticism of American policies by waving your hand and saying shite like "you have no facts" or "you just blindly hate us because it's cool to do so" or whatever the fuck. It's hard to debate someone when the playing field is laid out this way.

Ask any Iraqi or Afghan what they think. 9/11-scale atrocities are a regular event over there mate. But of course it's not as important unless it happens near a MacDonald's.

And that's exactly what's happening - anti-American terrorism has done nothing but rise and intensify over the past 10 years. I wonder why!

You got me America is actually operating a Nazi inspired plan for military world conquest, fueled by a mindless rage for more oil, Mc Donalds, porn, iphones, guns, video games, murder, destruction, and to enslave the rest of the world just for the lulz.

None can stop us at this point and you know you want it

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Burt Reynolds is a plant - he'll stop you when the time's right.

As someone else mentioned, I wonder how the shit's going to hit the fan now. I like to hope his death will free a lot more of even his own people, but I'm sure that's a naive hope. I wouldn't trust Pakistan for any reason.


So since he was shot in the head by a Navy Seal (GO NAVY!) and he didn't try to struggle or anything is he boinkin' those few virgins they're supposed to get for suicide missions?

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I wouldn't even trust them to man the tech support phones for my ISP, but unfortunately I have little choice in that regard.

The Pakistani ISI's relationship with Al Qaeda and 9/11 is worth looking into.

The Koran doesn't specify what these virgins will look like, so I can only hope he ends up with this sort:

http://www.laughparty.com/funny-pic...a-Nerds-423.jpg

Or better still, I hope he gets 72 of me.

I was going to say I hope they all have mustaches.

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Its kinda looking like some of Pakistan's leadership knew where he was the whole time. Playing both sides of the field.

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What do you think the consequences will be?

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I'd wait until a credible photo analyst shows proof before you go jumping on that ban wagon with "someone from 4chan said" as proof.

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Daniel Pearl got an extremely close haircut when he was investigating the ISI's link to 9/11 and the players involved in the attack, the presumption being that he was gonna blow the cover on some of the ISI's assets and had to be bisected before he could tell anyone what he discovered. Those fuckers mean business, and their business seems to involve the procurement of nukes and coddling terrorists. And driving Westerners insane via the deployment of indecipherable call centre staff.

Time to attack Pakistan for lying!

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You have pipes. Go beat 'em, Bassy!!

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Destruction System is always my favorite one out of the 2

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Easy there Mr Freeze. Give them a chance to take the Taliban cocks out of their mouths first. Since the 70's Pakistan have always been known to go for the money, get found out, and rat on others inside their country. Shit isn't any different today.

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No need for a credible photo analyst. Even a mongoloid can tell that the photo is a 'shooped' combination of the first two:

http://itwel.com/wp-content/uploads...-dead-photo.jpg

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So the third pic is the one of the "dead bin Laden", and the second pic is of some other guy? If so it's a convincing argument, not just because of the similarities between the live bin Laden and the third pic, but also because the injuries in the second and third are beyond coincidental. They even have the same blemishes and blood spatter on the forehead, not to mention that weird corpse-eye.

Who's the guy in the second pic, or do we not know?

So, we have an equation with three terms and, supposedly, one plus sign and one equals sign. However, the operators are merely implied. Ergo, this shows absolutely nothing, except that three random images off the net are very similar, for unknown reasons.

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Look at the hairlines, facial structure, and the TEETH! Besides they said the pictures were not going to be released yesterday. Someone's Paddyfying pictures.

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Assuming that the pic of the dead bin Laden is genuine (I have no idea if it is or not) I can't see how there's any doubt about the theory presented by the sages over at 4chan, i.e. that the first and second images were "merged" in order to create the third. The backgrounds of the images, the dressing on the shoulder, the hair, the markings on the forehead and the eyes are identical. The mouth, moustache and cheek trenches are extremely similar to those in the first pic of the "live" bin Laden.

Of course all of this is only relevant if we can get confirmation that pic #3 is real. i.e. that it's being offered by official sources as being a genuine pic of the dead bin Laden. If not, someone's being a bit of a wanker over at 4chan.

I have no idea. Probably just some dead Arab. Soldiers snap photos of bodies all the time.

I'm very convinced that somebody took the real photo of Bin Laden and edited it with the wounds from the unknown corpse photo.

I'm still not even 100% convinced that they killed the guy. Maybe I'm just spending too much time at ATS
But really... I don't see mainstream news media as a valid source for 'truth' anymore.

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Yeah, they repeated again today that no photos had been released. They said DNA testing confirmed the identity of the person killed was Bin Laden by comparing it to his relatives. And amusingly enough, shortly after that they said tonight at 6 they'll discuss nude apps that can put YOU online in a birthday suit.

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Hahaha yeah. This is why I barely watch television.

Okay, so apparently "DNA testing" confirms that it is indeed him... that doesn't really mean anything. They could just pull that statement out of their arse without the average citizen knowing if that really is the truth. We have no way of knowing for sure.

Edit: If he really was killed in his mansion, I suspect that Jesus may have had something to do with it.

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Does anyone remember a video from several years ago showing a group of friends pretending to kidnap a girl (although the girl thought it was for real), and telling her she was going to die, and they even brought her to a shallow grave and told her to get into it? During the car ride one of the friends asked if she had any last words and she started telling her mother she loved her and she was sorry etc. I've been trying to find info about it but I can't even find the video anymore. If anyone has it or knows where to find it lemme know, or better still if you know the girl's name gimme gimme.

Feeling a little horny today huh?

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Fucking lol ^

Edit: Post 4,000!

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A man has needs, and I need to see a woman piss herself in a ditch.