I'm just going to assume that all the rest of you see it too, since the implications if you don't really doesn't fit into my schedule:

When did Will Smith turn metal?

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See what? You're not hallucinating about Will Smith again are ya?

What? Me? NO. Why do you ask? I didn't ask you to ask something like that, did I? Why would you ever ask such a thing? Hey, what, like, have you got a thing for Will Smith or something? I mean what's up with all this asking about Will Smith? What are you hiding you leprechaun!?

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I like how Paddy automatically gets blamed for something.

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Blamed for what?

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I wasn't even here at about noon GMT! And I don't even know where to find a 60 x 65 image of Will Smith, cropped from a larger image of Will Smith, and I don't see how I could possibly have downloaded copies of all of the avatars I replaced for safe keeping, intending to re-upload each of them when I grow bored of the prank! How the FUCK would I do that when I wasn't even here?? I'm not even Irish!

NO HABLO INGLES, or Spanish for that matter! I'm not even here right now, and you're not even reading this because it didn't happen and you're all having a group hallucination involving me and Will Smith.

P.S. It was Chris.

Weeeell... it's like this. He's Irish. M'kay. SIT DOWN GREENY BOY. Meaning he's always guilty of something heinous or other. It follows that it doesn't really matter what the misdeed at hand is, since if you do go ahead and blame the Irish guy - SIT DOWN GREENY, unless you wanna bring up some mentioning of that red hair and freckles you've got too - on average justice will always be served.
This is the foundation of my proposal for world peace. See, instead of wasting days and days on going off to some desert and grabbing Khadaffi, for example, we just send some Irish guy to Hague. He gets punished, Libya can rejoice that a ruthless war criminal has received his just punishment, and the math works out beautifully. Everyone wins!

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You don't, 'cause you never even enter the fuckin' competition, ya neutral Swedish fucker ya. You don't even have a national terrorist group! Get with the fuckin' program!

Like this? http://blog.seattlepi.com/marinersf...ed_E_Newman.jpg

rofl I can just see Chris Hansen telling him "SIT DOWN GREENY."

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I just realized how used to identifying people by their avatars and now I'm forced to read their actual names. Its horrifying.

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Haha I thought it was just me; I have no idea who the fuck any of you are now.

I want my old ava back. Fucking cunts... I feel like nothing without my dancing panda! He was a part of my identity. CUUUUUUUNTS

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HE'S MINE NOW! I ATE HIS LIVER WITH SOME FAVA BEANS AND A LOVELY CUP O' TEA.

Give it another day, I think I heard the avatar fairy say she'll restore them tomorrow when she can be arsed.

I knew it! I knew it was an evil fairy thing!

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Let us never speak of this again.

Hope you all have a wonderful Welsh Protestant wanker day. You know your country is a shit-bucket if you have to outsource your saint production to sheep-shagging heathens from deh valleys. Fuck me this place is embarrassing, or at least it was until I restored its reputation to its original toothless, woman-fearing, paedophilic glory.

ERIN GO FUCK!

I refused to post under a will smith avatar

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Happy St. Pat's Day!!! Go listen to some Pogues and shut yer pie holes. <3

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A day obviously meant to celebrate me, all over the world. We approve.

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I'm gonna totally dress green today and get drunk in a pub. HAIL TO ST.PATRICK

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For the day! http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=43920

Happy Swede Day! Too many variations of Patrick's here........or maybe we should all be Patricks today.

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No! The world cannot support that much concentrated awesomeness at once. Only one true PatriK per generation. Sorry, pretenders, but there ya have it. And I've got a whole swath of honed and sharpened horrible sequels for the neck of anyone foolish enough to dispute it!

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Bars are the worst place to be today. Rraaaaaa.

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Too many drunks? Or too many wilted drunks?

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So the name is really Padrick or the saint was a girl?

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Caught me first snake of the year today. It's usually within a week of St. Patrick's Day, but this would be the first time it happened right on St. Patrick's Day.

I love Spring. Caught a (state-protected) spotted turtle on Tuesday along with a few wood frogs and we found 28 salamanders and 8 wood frogs late Friday night/Saturday morning (11-12th).

Still waiting for the flowers and leaves to come in and for the more interesting snakes to leave their hibernacula in a month. This is definitely better than February, though.

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How many people do you usually go out with (you said 'we')? Seem like it'd spoke them more easily.

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Just like my sex life, about 80% of the time I'm out looking for animals I'm gunning solo.

Friday night/Saturday morning was the only time I've been out this year with a group, and there were four of us counting myself. Tuesday, Wednesday (I went out, didn't find anything), and today were all by myself. FWIW, I prefer to bring people with me. They keep me company and serve as extra eyes and ears to help me find creatures. Extra people make a marginal difference as far as scaring animals away, at least, as far as my experience goes. Additionally, I tend to be more explorative when with others; that is, I'm more inclined to climb things or go traipsing through unknown waters in the company other people.

On the other hand, I move much faster by myself, I cover more ground, and I'm more focused on the task at hand. I'm also more likely to explore trails and routes I haven't yet exploited while by myself.

They both have their advantages and disadvantages.

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Patrick in Irish is Padraig, which is where the Paddy nickname comes from. Patricia is a girl's name, which is where Patty comes from. Ergo, FUCK off.

That can't be a coincidence; they must sense the approaching anniversary of the Irish snake holocaust and start coming out of their hidey holes to stowaway on a ship back to the homeland to visit the graves of their ancestors. They obviously weren't counting on a descendent of their ancestors' tormentors hiding in the bushes with a big net!

I don't think I've ever held a snake, and I've only ever seen them in pet shops or the zoo. Not sure if there are any wild snakes here at all; I know for a fact that there were never any for St. Pat to get rid of due to the forbidding effects of the last Ice Age, not unless he brought them to the island with the express intention of hunting them like in that Ice-T movie Surviving the Game.

No snakes are native to the island of Ireland, and, as you appear to already know, none ever were. At the end of the last ice ages, the land bridge between Ireland and Great Britain was inundated with water a couple of thousand of years before the land bridge between continental Europe and Great Britain. A few reptiles and amphibians managed to make it to the UK, but not many. Out of those, no snakes (hardly anything, really) made it to Ireland.

Just in case it isn't clear, the period where both land bridges existed also marked a period where both islands were under ice and, as a result, inhospitable to reptiles. As Europe warmed, the land bridge between the UK and mainland Europe remained for a few thousand years; long enough for three snakes to make it across in decent enough numbers to establish then thriving colonies.

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I also see so many Americans saying "St. Patty's Day" as well, it pisses me off, and I'm not even Irish. I think it's just the ignorance that pisses me off more than anything. I've also never understood why non-Irish people celebrate it. I think it's considered more of a novelty in North America than it is in Ireland. People call me a 'buzzkill' or 'party-pooper' because I won't get inebriated on St. Patrick's Day. Now don't get me wrong, I love having a few (dozen) drinks every so often, but I just don't see any point in celebrating the holiday when I'm not even Irish, just as somebody of Anglo-Saxon origin wouldn't see any point in celebrating St. Andrew's Day

I would be willing to go out and have a few drinks on St. David's Day, but nobody here even acknowledges that day. Being a descendant of Wales born in North America sucks, because we're such an insignificant minority

Anyways, Happy St. Patrick's Day to you Paddy! and to anyone else on here who is a descendant of Éire.

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OOOOHHHH FUUUUCK.
I totally forgot I had to give a presentation about the inflammation process today in my medicine class. I drank too much yesterday and came 2h to late. But it turned out very well to be honest.
We could choose how we want to preent our topic, and me and my two partners choose to make a kind of medival show out of it. I improvised on the guitar the whole time while my mates were explaining inflammations etc. Goood we sucked so hard but our teacher still liked it
The video will be up on facebook soon

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All of you who're going through any type of education involving math might find something useful at this here ass whoppin' site:
http://www.khanacademy.org

Me love the interwebs!

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I'm Welsh!! I have similar rules about not drinking on St. P's day (especially not going to bars), but, I lost and am really hungover right now.

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Haha. Well there's nothing wrong with drinking on St. Paddy's day if you aren't Irish. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I just don't really see the point. It would be like a Danish person celebrating Cinco de Mayo.

Hah! It's quite rare (at least in my city) to meet another Welsh descendant. We seem to be a minority. I only know one other person in my city who is. Well, aside from my parents of course.

Lechyd da, fy nghyd shagger defaid!
(Cheers, my fellow sheepshagger!)

http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/8195/miws.jpg

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Yeah, I don't think I know anyone that is Welsh, either. I'm not full, though. I've also got some Irish, German, and even a spot of Native American (one of my great grandmothers was an Indjin) in me. I demand a casino.

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The Irish are the world's mascot. It's the equivalent of a bunch of neighbourhood kids letting one of their Downs syndrome brothers take part in a game of football. However, said Downs syndrome kid isn't as Downs syndromey as they all think, and he has been gradually inviting himself more and more into their lives, until eventually he's spending large amounts of time living in each of their homes, eating their food, fucking their sisters and influencing their parents with his cow-eyed charm into letting him get more for nothing. No one is any the wiser about the scheme, except of course other Downs syndrome kids with their own similar plans under way.

That's why non-Irish people celebrate St. Pabby's day. It's because we want you to. It ensures our place on your couches, both figuratively and literally, and preps the next generation to do the same. We are the mascots of the world, mascots with nefarious plans for your sisters and economic resources.

I got on the phone and consulted your government for you. Since you are only a fraction Native American, the most they are willing to give you is tax free tobacco and the special edition Blu-ray of Pocahontas.

Time to lawyer up and sue the twats!

Well I'll be god damned! It was the Irish controlling the world and conditioning us all along!

It was always believed that the Zionists were the ones controlling the world. But you sly underhanded Micks were just using the Jews as a scapegoat all along! Mel Gibson is going to be ashamed when he hears about this.

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The Jews are trying to take over the world on behalf of their alien shape-shifting overlords from outer space, the Irish simply want an easy life, a life of no work, the freedom to sodomise pre-teens with the protection of the Vatican and a complete cessation of the dental hygiene industry. And acceptance of gingers as a minority race, even though that doesn't affect me personally.

Shh! If you keep talking about it you'll wake up one day to the sound of a vehicle pulling up and see a black van in your driveway.

And not the black van that Gomli drives. His has a mattress and camcorder in the back.

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Maaaaan diarrhea sucks -.-

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Yes, it does. But imagine how much worse it would be if we vomited diarrhea

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Self help courses on the theme of seeing things from the bright side couldn't hold a candle to a couple of MB from MT.

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I recently found out its possible to vomit poop.

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wat?

Please, do explain. You've tickled my curiosity!

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Ileus is the answer mah friend!

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I just googled it. Somebody should write a song about that! It would be so Grindcore

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I bet that there are songs about that. Funny that my dad almost died because of this. I'm still not sure about the causes of Ileus. Maybe only a spasm of your guts :O

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I missed you guys. I went to a great wedding for my BFF's son and fiance. AND I got to see Bob dance in a tux with the groom's stepdad and groom! It was hilarious! (An' I got incriminating pictures. ) It was all really sweet from start to finish.

Chris! We have snakes here that swim. Was it just because of the water temps, salt water, or lack of water snakes on nearby land masses that kept Ireland from having any snakes? You'd have loved the spot one of my kids and I encountered by the river a few years ago. There were all sorts of snakes in all sorts of colors sunning on rocks, hanging out between the rocks around the bridge, and under slabs of shale. On in particular that was gorgeous was copper colored and slithered into the water and swam in "S" shapes while diving under. There were some stripey ones, too. Snakes are pretty neat. They sort of feel like a lightly textured plastic garden hose.

If you're part American Indian and are interested in further education you should look into grants. That is if you can prove your heritage. DNA tests might be able to do that for you. If it saves someone money for education that's great.

Thanks for the Pad/Pat infomercial. Go plant a potato.

And my dad was a Mc that may or may not have been descended from a Mac. Hubby's British roots have a bit of Welsh in them.

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no, it blows

All snakes can swim well. Some don't particularly like to, and many live in environments where they rarely or never encounter any body of water, but all can swim well. When small animals that can't fly (like snakes) colonize an island, it's usually a situation of having only a short distance (a couple of miles or less) to swim or several events where individuals drift on flotsam to an island. You need at least a few individuals to successfully reach the island, survive, and breed in order to establish a sustainable colony, which is always a long shot; it has happened a lot over the course of time, for sure, but such events fail 10,000 times more often than they succeed.

I'm not that curious as to why snakes never established on Ireland, but I'm quite curious as to how one lizard, salamander, and frog each did. Those all seem like long shots, too, but all succeeded.

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And Paddy. Can't forget him with the salamander, frog, and lizard.

Heere leezerd leezerd leezerd!

I didn't know that all snakes swam. Cool. I learned something today.

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Could it be due to them being on that section that would be Ireland once it broke off Pangea? Or whatever mainland it was connected to?

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I dunno, I've always imagined Paddy more as being on the receiving end of a novice witch's first attempt at a frog-to-prince-spell. That being the point where said witch learned that you actually have to choose something above a frog to have it work as intended.

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I'm a quarter Welsh by virtue of my mother's mother, and a quarter Slovenian by virtue of my father's mother. The rest is Scouse.

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Scouse is scouse. It overpowers the rest. Especially the faggy Welsh.

Snakes did establish on Ireland. St. Patrick ran them all out. Don't you know anything about snakes, Chris? I understand that your subject of knowledge is nonsense, but why don't you at least read the major literature?

You'll probably need to adjust the scope on your rifle.

He may as well be, the Heinz 57 varieties motherfucker that he is!

RACIST. YANKY DOODLE DANDY RACIST BITCH. I've already planted this year's tayties, thankyouverymuch. IN MY DEAD MOTHER'S ANUS.

And I may or may not have been descended from Armenian spunk farmers! WHAT'S YOUR POINT??????

If you wanna check out my Irish root just hollar at ya bwoy.

Hahaha not bad, Req. Not bad at all

I wish I had a 10th of your passion/knowledge for something in life. Instead, I'm cursed with good looks and a winning personality. And whiteness. Lovely clean & sparkly whiteness.

We used to catch frogs from the drains around our housing estate. Whether we decided to keep them as pets or convert them into a fine paste with a breeze block depended on the mood at the time. The other problem was trying to sneak them into the house; if my mum saw me walking in with a Tupperware box full of frogs she'd tell me to put them back again, which I took as code for "torture them son, torture and abuse their faces until they're deader than your fucking dead brother".

TURNIP.

The Big Book of Slimy Bollocks isn't available in Massafuckettes.

Which, of course, only further demonstrates my point.

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I don't know. You sure know a lot about midgets, I'd say that bordered on passion. Kind of creepy passion, but nonetheless.

Amadeus, I think you figured out his "birth" as well as his atheistic tendencies.

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Potato trumps turnip every time. How many turnip-based products are there? ONE, and it's called turnip. Potaties are the foundation of all cuisine, and even arts and crafts.

Ya unversatile swede fuck ya.

I know what they taste like after a ruthless snuff-grade bukkake and that's about all I know. But what else do you need to know?

I don't have any "tendencies", homosexual or otherwise. I don't do things half-assed, except when I play a pantomime horse, so I don't tend to do anything - I just fuckin' do it, to the max and then to the Xtreme and, sometimes, I max it up TO the Xtreme.

...what was the question again?

Aaaah, so turnip was in fact an attempt at an invective which, by the further definition provided above, apparently maps directly to my person. My blond, athletic person, which you've already seen surrounded by hot, blond Swedish women at at least one occasion. I could at this point choose to make a point out of this, but really, what's the point, seeing as this point was scored back in the times of the first cell division, when forever was cast the shape and natural hierarchy of humanity - the master race, and Paddy McLeapamefroggie.

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Sorry, I don't understand your thick fitta dialect. It reeks of fittaness. Rotted, fishy fittaness. And turnip-farts.

Which, of course, only further demonstrates my point.

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Your abuse of the full stop - AND of the unwritten forum quote rules of honour and decency which I've upheld for 6 years - are criminal. You should be ashamed and pelted with full size turnips until dead, preferably by a hoard of ultra right-wing creationists for added humiliation.

Aha!

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Wow...just...wow...

Maybe you'd better leave, I don't think this forum is big enough for both you AND Bobbi, and to be fair she was here first, predating your arrival by at least 70 years. And you can take your hollowed-out turnip sex dolls with ya, ya sick pup.

My satisfaction at having subtly coaxed you into abandoning your high ethics and standards, which you so recently bragged about, knows no bounds.

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No, my blonde turnip-balled friend. No. A thousand times NO. I am the one who played YOU like a violin. I'll explain how in a few days, as soon as I figure it out. It'll be something to do with you being a Swedish cunt, that much I'm sure of.

FIGHT IN WARS, YA PANSY.

Yes, I can see you now... ah, did I mention the satisfaction of also coaxing someone to the point where this is all they have left? Ah, the sweet frustration. Also, fuck you for the last round in the news-thread.

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I like turnips.

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If I can give a man enough satisfaction that he need not turn to hollowed-out turnips I'll have lived a worthwhile life.

Explain yourself, Swede!

Ahhh, a mother's unconditional love...

It's a sad state of affairs when every insult you try to deliver, by way of some subconscious but powerful urge, turns into a compliment.

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Don't leave me hanging ya fuck, answer me!

Very well, I'm raising the flag and claim V-V-V on this one, so here ya go:
Head back to the news-thread somewhere around 15 March.

And now, a celebration of Irish culture.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPyl2tOaKxM

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I still don't get it! All I could see around the 15th of March was something about you fucking babies, but obviously that's not why you're pissed.

It's not so much a celebration of Irish culture as a warning against booking ridiculously cheap flights. And believe me, if flights genuinely were only 50p the Irish would have beaten Al Qaeda to 9/11 by about 40 years. Not entirely sure why though, seeing as how New Yawk gave the IRA more weapons than Gaddafi ever did...but fuck it, 50p is 50p.

Quite right, your claim as such didn't piss me off. 'Tis was merely the fact that you actually managed to, purely rhetorically, paint me into a corner. Remember I'm pretty deep into politics? I'm sort of a little bit famous for NOT being painted into corners, ever. Hmpf.

And believe it or not, I could follow along with that even without the subtitles. I want a flying car.

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If I did paint you into a corner it was only because I didn't want you to leave me, at least not without getting paint on your feet first. And if that were to happen I'd just follow the trail of footprints all the way back to you

I just realized I don't believe I've ever had a turnip. Humph.

I can't tell you how many times I've watched this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViD0vfGIh50

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Well, if we're descending down to that level, have a piece of what I believe Paddy believes a turnip is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DgO6Ttn7rU

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It's my third, and she just gets hotter and hotter every time. As long as she doesn't plan to talk to me, ever, I think I'll marry her.

Is this some sort of racist dig at me? Ya fuckin' Swedish Ikea-coffin fitta:

http://i51.tinypic.com/2nqv8uq.jpg

Is it true Swedes will eat anything as long as it's fucking disgusting and repellent to even a starving dog? If so, EAT MY PUSSY.

What? Oh. No, actually, I figured you as doing your cameo at 0:28. Though I do kind of enjoy the fact that this time around you did a classic PST-jab right in your own eye. Tsk tsk.

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The last time PST jabbed me in the eye was when he was trying to demonstrate how to dice an onion. I needed 50 stitches. The useless fucker that he is.

Oh yeah, Swede cunt etc.

dem titties made it really watchable.

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lol @ one of the related videos:
http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/1107/10189437.jpg

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Yea... we have representatives of those in parliament. It's a sore point.

But you're right, seeing one of 'em pop up in conjunction with a Slitz-broad is pretty funny.

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I was trying - successfully, I might add - to jab you in the eye. The onion was a pretext, to overcome your natural fear of a Jew with a knife.

But the last time I jabbed you in the eye was, of course, with my erect phallus, immediately after I'd removed it from Dyldo's mother and you wanted to know if you could see whether or not we'd conceived from the tip and I was a bit, well, overenthusiastic. That was accidental.

What, exactly, makes a jab earn the 'PST' prefix?

I thought you were trying to make him cry with a proud onion.
Nice avatar. You look a little jaundiced though. The jaundiced j........ nah, I can't make fun of ya like that.

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Our little Bobpurgis is engaged. No date set yet. He's going to officially be a grandpa daddy.

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Nothing will help me overcome that particular fear, especially whilst I'm still in possession of my foreskin.

I think the problem wasn't so much your over-enthusiasm, but that of your Bris surgeon who did too good a job of sharpening the end of your cock into a fine point. As I understand it he was falling behind on his monthly boy meat quotas and was starting to literally cut corners, aiming to get one and a half clippings' worth from every client. Plus Dyldo's mother's cunny acids and coarse, concrete uterus conspired to make the end of your pointed cock into a stiff, callous arrowhead. I'm literally lost in my own nonsense here. Let me just conclude by saying FUCK YOU, CRACKA.

If the jab involves my [alleged] gingerness. Cunt.

I think now is the time to start stocking up on bottled water and tins of beans. The engagement of Bobpurgis was predicted by Nostradamus as being one of the final stages in the construction of humanity's doom, along with a black U.S. president and the release of Spaceballs on Blu-ray.

Typical Ohio hillbillies - doing everything ass-backwards.

Ah, so sweet I fear someone might die from terminal tooth decay.



The ginger card. An inherently well motivated card, mind you, in certain cases.

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Beat ya to it, ya slow Swede muthafucka!

Well, you know how it is, the higher classes must be prepared to give some leeway to the less fortunate, now and then.

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Keep telling yourself that, slow-mo.

In other news FUCK YOU.

Mm, the blond man's burden. We can only hope that civilization and decent looks one day reache the green - and orange-reddish - island too.

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They already did. Before your race turned into a bunch of neutral faggots, afraid of breaking their manicured nails in a proper fight with real men, they were Vikings, and they came here looking for trouble and got their asses handed to them. Perhaps that's why you decided war wasn't your thang, because even the most fierce of your kind weren't tough enough to conquer a bunch of potato-faced, bog-brained pig farmers with red fur on their tiny inbred balls and an arsenal consisting primarily of pitchforks and irritating tin whistle ditties. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?

Posting on MT under the name "Paddy", that's where.

As a Canadian with rich Irish Ancestory(father's father father ect came here in 1820's from Dublin, Irish on my mother's side as well), I loled.

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To be fair, they also got their ass kicked when they first came here. Because the Vikings were not very good at fighting other adult men, as compared to unarmed women, children, and the elderly. They were really good at fighting those fuckers. Although I also should mention that absolutely none of you Irish motherfuckers today share much in common, genetically, with the people inhabiting your godforsaken Isle in those days. I mean, does nobody know about Oliver Cromwell? You fuckers are all Scottish.

And my circumcision went swimmingly, thanks. I later decided on the whole sharpened phallus thing when I decided that I didn't want anybody to survive a sexual encounter with me.

I also wanted to thank you for explaining the implied joke in my 'Jew with a knife' comment, because it was really out of character for me to respect the forum dwellers enough to understand something implied.

You actually trust this forum's membership to understand implicationatory gagage? Shift your shape back to reality son!

I'm a fan of the Paderick vs. Amadeus thread. Just so you know. Oh and I totally got my ass kicked by the police at the anti-nazi rallye today

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