MetalTabs.com Forum - The Official MetalTabs Culinary Thread

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The Official MetalTabs Culinary Thread

Let's talk pie.

I was thinking it might be good to have this top post contain recipes submitted by individual users throughout the course of our discussion, and I (or another mod) will add to it as the recipes appear. To keep things from becoming too comprehensive it'd probably be better to only include recipes which are more or less inventions of said users, rather than having a long list of stuff you could otherwise find quite easily by searching the webses. Full credit will be given along with each recipe, unless it's from PST, in which case full credit will be given to the Ladybird Book of Cooking from which he learnt everything he knows.

2010-10-07, 20:30

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Yay, a culinary thread! BRB, going to work to cook food for 8 hours

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2010-10-07, 21:42

Paddy

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Technically meth production doesn't count as "cooking" in the sense implied by this thread.

2010-10-07, 22:06

drawn&quartered

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Does jenkem count? Im thinking about starting my own jenkem company

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2010-10-07, 22:08

Paddy

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Unless you plan to bake it into a brownie, 'fraid not

2010-10-07, 22:08

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Well this is off to a great start.

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2010-10-07, 23:51

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Anyone try cooking or eating any central/south american delicacies? Much more different from traditional Mexican dishes. They take longer to prepare.

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2010-10-08, 00:17

L,B'XXX

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I put tabasco in my brownies sometimes ala South America since they combine heat and cocoa. Just don't go overboard and I think they're good.

I make Mexican meatloaf or Mexican meatballs by putting crushed tortilla chips (or regular Doritos are good, too), a can of diced green chilies, an egg, and a blurp of milk into a bowl and let it sit a few minutes. Mix that with your hands with a couple pounds of ground chuck. Preheat your oven to about 450F. Make 4 small meatlumps in a pan. I use a half sheet if it's 85/15 or a two piece broiler pan so the grease can drain if it's 80/20. Bake until the outside is just turning a little brown and then cut the heat back to about 375 to 400 until you can poke it and it's not oozing a lot. Probably at least 45 minutes to an hour. When the meatloaves are just about done, pour some salsa and shredded cheddar on them and put them back in the oven for a couple minutes to melt the cheese.
If you want meatballs, use the same mix, drain after cooking, and put them in a pan with some salsa. Add cheese on your plate.
When you make the lumps instead of one big one it doesn't take as long to bake.

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2010-10-08, 00:22

Dyldo

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Quote:

Originally Posted by YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD

Anyone try cooking or eating any central/south american delicacies? Much more different from traditional Mexican dishes. They take longer to prepare.

I've had a good taste of South American dishes, especially Ecuador as one of my childhood best friend's family came over from there and I'd get a lot of tasty dishes. Peruvian is also pretty fucking tasty.

I don't think I've had anything from Central America. What separates it from South and Mexico? Any recipes?

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2010-10-08, 06:01

YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyldo

I don't think I've had anything from Central America. What separates it from South and Mexico? Any recipes?

Little differences, mostly length in preparation. Its more common to find a Mexican food restaurant than a Central American one because from what i have experienced with my family and family of my gf (compiled of greedy Guatemalans on my part and angry El Salvadorians on hers), GOOD authentic central american food takes quite some time to prepare and cook. Also, black beans are more common in Central American cuisine, whereas pinto/brown beans are more common in Mexican food dishes.

As for differences, here are a few examples:

Mexican "Tamale" : corn masa, husks, your choice of meat, etc.
Guatemalan "Pache": replace corn masa with potatoes. instead of mushy corn masa, you almost get this feeling like eating poorly cooked mashed potatoes, but not poorly cooked, sort to speak.

Mexican "Menudo": tripe, hominy, pigs feet, veggies
Guatemalan "Revolcado/curried pork stew" : cow stomach, small pig's head, various types of peppers and chilis + more.

Then there are Pupusas that come from El Salvador. The best way to explain it is like having a stuffed, thick, flour tortilla or flatbread. A common filling is cheese, black beans + cheese, ground seasoned meats (mainly fried chopped pork aka chicharrones) or cheese + loroco (a tropical vine flower). Pupusas are usually eaten with curtido, which could be compared to cole slaw or sauerkraut and also served with this semi-sweet salsa.

There are many, many more plates I could get into, but don't feel like at the moment. We OTMs (other-than-mexicans) have very good food. I've heard TONS about Brazilian cuisine. Does anyone know much about that?

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2010-10-08, 06:54

PST 88

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There is literally no cuisine in the world defined by length of preparation. A lot of the differences between Mexican food and Central and South American or Caribbean food has to do with the flavorings used, not how long it takes to make. And a lot of the best Latin American food (that's not Mexican) doesn't really resemble anything Mexican. Take, for example, something like ropa vieja or matambre.

I'd also like to point out that Mexican food is hardly monolithic; it's arguably the best developed cuisine in the New World, and inarguably the most varied.

Brazilian food can be awesome, and like Mexican it's pretty varied. Feijoada is bomb, maybe the best of the ubiquitous Latin American 'braised meat with rice and beans' dishes. And going to a churrascaria is always a good way to eat way too much meat.

Pupusas are a fairly common street food in parts of NYC these days, and are awesome.

2010-10-08, 14:11

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During the next few weeks me and some friends of mine are going to make an EPIC burger. I`ll definitely post some pics

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2010-10-08, 19:11

YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD

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I beg to differ. I have noticed with friend's mexican families and central americans families, including mine. For some odd reason our food has always taken longer to cook up and prepare. That is, if you want to make it from scratch and not buy pre-made sauces or seasonings. Even then, making traditional guatemalan food from scratch takes longer to prepare and cook than cooking traditional mexican food from scratch.

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Last edited by YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD : 2010-10-09 at 05:26.

2010-10-09, 06:38

PST 88

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Well, now you're just not listening. There's no such thing as a single 'traditional Mexican food,' so your anecdotal evidence isn't worth much. Beyond that, though, when I've worked in a Mexican restaurant there were braised dishes that took over a day to complete properly, from scratch. Just like braised dishes from every other cuisine, ever.

There is seriously never going to be a major difference between one country and another in terms of how long it takes to prepare the food, unless you're gauging it based on the wrong food. The question I would start asking is why it takes longer for Central American food than Mexican food, in your experience.

2010-10-09, 12:39

Paddy

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Quote:

Originally Posted by PST 88

There is literally no cuisine in the world defined by length of preparation.

You've obviously never heard of the South African long pie. It's one of the few conceptual pies to have survived the apartheid regime and is made entirely of time and faith. The longer you spend making it the more nutritional value it has, not for the physical body but for the soul. If someone hands you a rock as a gift you'd probably ask if they've kept the receipt, but if you knew that they had spent several years rubbing it and thinking about your happiness as they did it you'd be more inclined to afford it some value. Likewise, the long pie is an empty plate filled with the time sacrificed by the chef on your behalf.

Long pie.

2010-10-09, 20:15

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Even culinary threads aren't sacred to you, Paddy. Why don't you enlighten us with some of those curry recipes you seem to enjoy?

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2010-10-09, 21:09

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I'm a little self-conscious about posting recipes in the presence of an actual chef. If PST promises not to read or respond to or even think about whatever I post I'll consider sharing my sweet knowledges, but he has to PROMISE!

In the meantime:

_________________________________________

Big Pat's Kamikaze Beans & Sausages

1. Grill, fry or deep fry or even spit-roast 8 pork or beef sausages. It doesn't matter which, you're not gonna taste the fuckers anyway.
2. While the sausages are being cremated pour the baked beans [these ones] into a microwaveable dish, and then dump in about half a shaker of ground black pepper, less if you're a gay faggot, and stir it up real nice with your favourite fork with the big handle.
3. When the sausages are nearly done, microwave the beans for 4 minutes on full power. It's a custom of mine to press my face against the microwave door for the full 4 minutes in the hopes of acquiring some superpowers but in general it just makes me sleepy and unable to add basic numbers together for several hours.
4. When everything is done put the sausages on a plate, then pour the kamikaze beans over the top of 'em so everything resembles black people drowning in a volcanic eruption. Remember, if they resemble Asians you haven't cooked them long enough!
5. Place a twig of parsley on the edge of the plate and stick a little blue flag with "Go Sausages!" written on it into the most central sausage.
6. Knife optional.
7. Eat. Eat like you've never eaten before.
8. Thank me for the best meal you ever had.

_________________________________________

Seriously, that shit never gets boring, and it's fuckin' deliciously yummy. It only takes about 15 minutes, too!

Fuck, now I'm in the mood for some KAMIKAZE BEANS & SAUSAGES™!!!!!1

2010-10-10, 09:23

Gomli

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Paddy

KAMIKAZE BEANS & SAUSAGES™!!!!!1

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2010-12-09, 16:59

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Chicken Curry, Irish Peasant Style

This serves two fat fuckers or three fairly hungry thin fuckers.

Ingredients
4 chicken breasts
1 chicken stock cube (this one)
2 large peppers (these ones)
2 large onions
1 large carrot
Garden peas
Broad beans (if you like)
Canned sweet corn (if you like, just drain it first)
6 - 8 mushrooms (whatever kind you fancy, we use these ones or these ones)
Anything else you fancy! Most vegetables are fair game as far as I'm concerned.
Oh yeah, a tub of curry powder wouldn't go amiss either. This is the one we like to use.

I'm not a chef, but I do know that buying jars of pre-made sauces is never a good idea, even if they have pictures of famous chefs on the label.

We either have rice or chips (French fries) or both with the curry, so make sure you have one or the other handy. Cunt.

Step-by-step Guide
Get a wok or a large pot or whatever the fuck, add a small dribble of oil, just enough to help prevent the ingredients welding to the bottom. We generally use vegetable oil, but if you're a homosexual and want to use olive oil or if you're like PST and like using the ocular fluid of a newborn panda feel free. Heat the wok to a medium-ish level or slightly higher, then add the chopped onions and sliced carrots.

As the carrots and onions are frying up real nice, add a teaspoonful of sugar. This helps bring out the natural sweetness of the two vegetables, and if the onions are particularly strong it'll help soften the taste a little. Don't worry, you can't taste sugar when you're eating the final product; this ain't no sweet 'n' sour abomination.

After the onions start to brown a little bit you can add the chopped peppers, sliced mushrooms, frozen peas (ha) and whatever else you want to add. Treat all of this like a stir fry for about 5 minutes or so (i.e. stir it as it fries, Dylan), making sure everything has had a chance to get some face time with the metal. If you think you need to increase the heat a little go for it, I won't get mad. When you're happy with it add the chopped chicken breasts. Chicken cooks pretty quickly, if you were doing this with beef or Asians you'd need to start gently cooking the meat for several weeks beforehand.

Add salt. A palmful is about right.

Take your chicken stock cube and rub it between your thumb and fingers over the top of the wok, so it breaks into little bits like a chicken suicide bomber. I know it's generally considered better practice to melt the cube down in hot water first and then pour the stock in that way, but doing it my way will save you having to wash an extra cup and it also makes it easier to add the curry powder without it clumping into powdery blobs because of the excess moisture (plus you'll want to keep things dry for the next step). You just have to make sure you stir it all up real well, which is what you'll be doing anyway.

When the cube seems to have melted sufficiently add 3 tablespoons (flattened ones, not heaped, although I prefer 5 or 6 spoonfuls myself because I'm a hairy man) of curry powder to the mixture, and let it "roast" for a couple of minutes before adding boiling water from your kettle. Just keep everything moving to prevent sticking. When you're done and the ingredients are all nicely coated, and the kettle is boiled, pour in the water until the top layer of the ingredients are poking out above the waterline like stealthy dog turds in a puddle. If the water evaporates to the point where there isn't enough sauce left, ADD MORE WATER! YAY!

Once you get to this stage reduce the heat so it's between "off" and "middle-ish". Hot enough to keep things cooking, but not so hot that it'll disappear after 15 minutes.

From here it's basically just a matter of tasting it, checking the texture of the vegetables and making sure the chicken is cooked through (if there's any pink in the middle of a freshly sliced piece of cooked chicken it ain't ready; it's gotta be white, like the next U.S. president). We generally let things cook for about 15 to 20 minutes at this point, and we cook the chips or the rice during this period. Keep stirring the fucker every few minutes to prevent a skin forming and rings of impenetrable curried concrete around the rim of the wok.

There are many types of rice, some with extra bits added in, but anything will be fine. I think we have a different batch every week; whatever's the cheapest when we're in the supermarket becomes part of our grand feast.

Enjoy my special Scum Curry. I know you will.

Last edited by Paddy : 2010-12-09 at 17:26. Reason: Update picture URLs

2010-12-09, 17:15

Dyldo

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Why the fuck do I have to sign up to see a picture of food. Fuck Tesco.

Sounds good though. Anyone know how difficult is it to make a curry sauce from scratch? Rich?

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2010-12-09, 17:28

Paddy

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Fuck, updated the URLs.

I've always wanted to try making my own curry powder/sauce/whatever, but the tubs of powder you can get in supermarkets are pretty good. They're certainly good enough for a Top Ramen muncher like your good self

2010-12-09, 17:52

Dyldo

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I looked into and it isn't hard at all, it just requires a lot of awesome ingredients.

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2010-12-09, 19:46

drawn&quartered

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I can make my own curry/sauce

*ba-dum tish*

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2010-12-10, 10:45

Paddy

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Does anyone have any suggestions for how to make a basic yet tasty soup? I make chicken and sweetcorn soup a lot, but it usually tastes like there's something missing; like it's "hollow". Chicken stock cubes and soy sauce can only achieve so much!

I'm thinking maybe a little garlic, but I don't know if it'd work and I'm not made of chicken fillets. I don't have any fresh herbs or other leafy stuff, save for scallions which I snip with scissors into the bowl for each serving (fucking yummy). When I make the soup here's what I do:

Fry up the onions and carrots with a little sugar, add chopped chicken breasts, then add peppers, peas, broad beans, and basically anything that happens to be laying around. I add a stock cube and melt it in and mix it up, then add some salt. When the onions look like they're browning up I add a can of sweetcorn, including the sugar water they're packaged in. Then I add boiling water from the kettle. I leave it to cook on a medium-ish heat until...well, whenever it's edible.

I made this soup a couple of months back and it was fucking delicious, but I haven't been able to nail it since. I think I let the first batch cook gently on a low heat for the better part of two hours, which might have something to do with it, but I'm not sure.

2010-12-10, 11:13

Pr0az

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Don't allow the Onions to get brown, just sorta warm them up to leave a fresh tasting flavor. With the chicken, Put it in a pan, Add Butter, And pepper(Try to get heavy with it). Cook until done. Leave out the sugar. Change your soup around 100%. Garlics cool, but it seems when you cook with it you have to cut so much of it up for the flavor.

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2010-12-10, 11:22

Paddy

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I generally like to make sure the onions are cooked a little before adding the water, because boiled onions (which is what they'd be if you just chucked 'em into the soup raw) taste horrid to me. I'll try doing as you suggested and just cook them a wee bit instead.

I would rather not use butter if I can help it; I hate the taste and the fact that it's squeezed out of a shit-kicking animal's guts. Is there anything I could replace it with?

I have garlic purée which I was gonna use; I can't remember the last time I actually bought a clove of garlic! Seems like a lot of unnecessary hard work.

Cheers for the tips!

2010-12-10, 12:12

PST 88

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What you're doing is sweating the onions: cooking them over low heat in some fat until they become soft and translucent. The thing about sweating is that you either want to do it very moderately, as Pr0lapse suggested, or you want to do it for a very long time to allow them to develop a stronger and deeper flavor. As noted, you don't want to allow them to caramelize, but in this case caramelization doesn't have to do with how cooked the thing is, but rather the level of heat you have on under it.

I would recommend the following procedure:

1. Sweat diced onion and sliced garlic together until soft. Season them with salt early on to aid in the releasing of liquid, and not with sugar at all. Deglaze with white wine and reduce until the alcohol's gone but not the acidity, usually around 2/3rds.

2. Add whatever other veg you think will cook at around the same rate as per your usual procedure, and your stock cube and whatever else. Don't let the onions brown. Make sure to season with salt and pepper, keeping in mind that if you let the liquid reduce much at all it's going to become saltier as it does.

3. Cook the chicken separately from the rest of the soup as suggested. You don't have to cook with butter if you don't want to, though if I lived in Ireland I would take liberal advantage of the fresh dairy, which is seriously among the world's best. Do you not drink milk?

Anyway, searing your chicken will help it develop deeper flavors than simmering it, and it helps you control the degree of doneness. In general, when I make a soup with a lot of individual components I think it's best to cook them separately and put them together at the end, but in this case just separating the meat and veg should do you fine. Just season it on both sides with salt and pepper, lay it in whatever cooking fat you choose that's been heated up in a saute pan (if you don't have a hot pan and hot fat, the chicken will stick to the pan), and flip it about halfway through, when the white, 'cooked' color has creeped up around the sides. After the initial heating of the pan you can let it go on medium. If you don't object to adding butter, add it at this point and use a spoon to baste your chicken with it once it melts; this will also speed up the cooking process. Adding it too soon causes it to brown and introduce bitter flavors. In this particular case, though, I might go with your initial instinct and omit the butter altogether.

4. Chunk up your chicken and add it at the very end of the simmering process, or just place it in the bottom of your bowl and pour your soup on over it.

If you use garlic puree instead of fresh garlic, add it towards the end of the simmering process, as that garlic has already been blanched and simmered to remove its fresh flavor and will not flavor the soup much at all if you put it in at the beginning. Make sure to stir it in very thoroughly.

This is not, by the way, how I would go about making a chicken soup, but it should work to modify your current practices to end up with a better result.

2010-12-10, 12:56

Paddy

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PST, I truly appreciate this. I'll definitely try the things you've suggested. I might do it tonight actually, I'm in the mood all of a sudden.

I don't drink milk, although I do eat things which contain milk and butter, such as yummy cakes. As long as I'm not aware of its taste while I'm eating it I'm alright, but if I was to drink a glass of milk I'd probably feel queasy. I'm sure if I used butter in my soup in the way you and Pr0az suggested I probably wouldn't taste it all that much, if at all, but I'll wait and see how I feel when I have the yellow gunk staring me in the face later.

My thinking (if you could call it that) in making the soup the way I have been making it is that everything is in one place, and none of it is going anywhere, so all of the flavours are bound to be floating around in there somewhere haha. It never occurred to me to cook things separately or indeed to leave the chicken out of the equation until the very last minute.

I didn't know Ireland's dairy produce was so well regarded. I guess vigorously fucking the livestock must do something for the flavour; the butter comes out pre-churned and salted.

2010-12-10, 16:04

L,B'XXX

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Paddy, lots of times when I make soup I'll use some leftover chicken that I've oven baked. If you have some with a little skin or fat on it it makes more chickeny flavor, too. Sometimes after I've baked it, I'll add some water to the browned stuff in empty pan, and scrap those bits off. It makes a nice rich, browned base for soup or to use some cornstarch or arrowroot for gravy. Those don't need to cook down like flour and they don't really change the color too much either.

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2010-12-10, 16:58

Paddy

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Well, my soup was a success (compared to my previous soups, anyway). That hollowness I mentioned seems to have been nicely plugged. I followed your steps, PST, and I even felt like a real chef when I poured white wine into a pan. It made me consider taking a course, until I remembered that I can't go outside because that's when they'll get me.

Massive props to my main homies PST and Pr0az. I think this was the first time I used black pepper without baked beans and sausages being involved.

Oh yeah, thanks for not being mean about my shitty skills

Quote:

Originally Posted by L,B'XXX

I think my mum does stuff like this when she's making homemade soup (basically vegetable soup, but for some reason the term "homemade soup" refers specifically to this sort of soup over here, or maybe it's just a local thing).

As nice as tonight's soup was it seems like just a little bit more effort than I'm willing to make when I'm just feeding myself. I'll probably save the "proper" soup for times when I'm extremely bored and full of agitated sugar-energy. I'd quite happily chow down on a raw dog if it was spicy enough, but I've learnt a new skill by consulting YouTube (deglazing), I've overcome my fear of using more than one pan/pot at the same time and I've learnt how to safely and effectively wrestle a wine bottle from the clutches of my insane mother, so I'm quite pleased with tonight's venture.

2010-12-10, 20:10

DameFraMorkum

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PST, when are you gonna quit your gig at the restaurant and come be my live-in chef?!

Making baked asparagus tonight with garlic, s&p, olive oil and lemon. And french onion potatoes with herbes de kraft.

2010-12-11, 02:07

PST 88

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Quote:

Originally Posted by L,B'XXX

The process you're referring to here is called 'deglazing,' and it's a pretty essential step for developing flavor in a sauce or soup; depending on the sauce or soup, you may want to use a more flavorful liquid than plain water.

When it comes to thickening a sauce like you're describing, it's better to use a 1:1 mixture of cornstarch and warm water ('slurry') than plain cornstarch. While you have to cook out the flour in a roux if you want to use it to thicken a sauce, you can knead equal parts flour and butter together ('beurre manie') to thicken a sauce with flour without having to cook it down.

Glad the soup experiment went well for you, Pads. Sorry to hear that your mother had to give up some of her precious wine, but I suppose sacrifices had to be made.

2010-12-11, 06:56

Paddy

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She begged me not to, and even offered to simply spit into the pan which would have been just as effective, but a swift knee to the uterus sealed the deal.

When we need to thicken sauces or soups I sometimes see my mama use cornflower. She puts a teaspoonful or so into a cup, dribbles a little cold water in from the tap and mixes it into a sort of paste, then stirs it into whatever needs thickened. Are those other methods mentioned above better (or "more necessary")?

Let's talk cakes, buns and biscuits! Who here bakes? Besides making bitchin' chocolate cakes when I was a kid I haven't done much of it myself, but I've got a load of awesome recipes. I'll post a shortbread one later, it makes for some kick-ass bickies.

2010-12-11, 16:10

L,B'XXX

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PST, yes, deglaze was the word I was trying to think of, and I saw it in a previous post so didn't bother correcting it. I did leave out mixing the cornstarch with water prior to adding. Don't want those type of dumplings! I don't cook with wine because none of us like the bite it gives so I either use homemade broth or water.

I didn't know that about the beurre manie. Good to know! Thanks!

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2011-01-18, 22:32

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There's this floating fish shop on a bay I live maybe 20ish minutes from that's family owned and has fresh daily catches for great prices. Me and 5 other people bought 2 pounds of clams, 6 fillets of sole, lobster, and 2 pounds of scallops for around $100ish. The only local things we had this weekend though were the clams and lobster, but its still a great deal. I cooked up the sole with a Parmesan glaze (is it a glaze? I don't know. I mix some shit in a bowl and then brush it on half way through its broiling session) and my friends girlfriend seared the scallops in this fucking awesome wine broth. The clams were just grilled until opened and the lobster boiled. I also boiled the lobster but felt like a dick when I realized that I forgot to put it in head first. I then remembered a fish monger once told me that lobsters don't have nervous systems so I felt less bad. Please don't disprove that, Chris.

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2011-01-20, 04:01

PST 88

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That may be a glaze, but honestly a Parmesan glaze sounds weird. It's normally a reduction involving sugar, but it anything you brush onto a roasting bit of protein is technically a glaze, if it sticks and caramelizes. If not you may have just wasted whatever you mixed into your sauce.

Don't feel like a dick about killing lobsters, since you did it like a pussy anyway.

2011-01-20, 05:33

Paddy

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Is deglazing necessary or possible if you use non-stick pans? From what YouTube says it seems to be a technique for getting the "stuck" bits off the pan and using them to form the basis of sauces and soups, but if you use non-stick pans surely there's obviously nothing to be unstuck. Or have I missed the point completely?

2011-01-20, 09:04

PST 88

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It's not as effective if you use a non-stick, since a non-stick doesn't build up as much fond (i.e. stuck on bits of the protein you were just searing), but don't let the name 'non-stick' fool you. It doesn't mean that things literally will not stick; if you don't have an adequate amount of fat (oil, butter, rendered bacon fat, whatever) in your pan, or don't get the pan and the fat properly hot, then things will stick in a non-stick just like in any other pan. You just don't need to get it as hot as a steel pan, or treat it as fussily as a cast iron one, but it's not magical.

Now, because it doesn't really build up a nice fond like you might want to, a non-stick pan is a specialized tool, good for egg cookery and searing certain fragile types of fish, and not for everyday use.

2011-01-20, 11:44

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Quote:

Originally Posted by PST 88

Now, because it doesn't really build up a nice fond like you might want to, a non-stick pan is a specialized tool, good for egg cookery and searing certain fragile types of fish, and not for everyday use.

I agree. Used a non stick pan to warm some stuff up, it didn't turn out well. It didn't help that they were steaks.

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2011-01-20, 16:29

Paddy

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Well, you guyses may have tastier sauces (oo er!), but you'll be washing up for twice as long, all the while I'll be eating yummy cakes and enjoying the smell of my own curry burps

2011-01-21, 09:06

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Cherry tomatoes, rucola, balsamic cream and chicken breast. yummy

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2011-01-21, 20:15

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Vegetable Masala Burger Patty, British Muffins (toasted with Havarti cheese on top), and Ketchup. My own little creation. I liked it.

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2011-01-24, 08:11

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http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/586/essenqm.jpg

omg I can cook small things too. Simple but tasty

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2011-01-24, 10:11

L,B'XXX

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Is that salmon on a latke? It does look good. The red stuff on top looks a little raw, but the concept is intriguing.

I <3 my antique cast iron pans. Griswold rocks!

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2011-01-24, 10:29

Paddy

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Originally Posted by L,B'XXX

I <3 my antique cast iron pans. Griswold rocks!

All the better for battering your husband with?

2011-01-24, 10:34

L,B'XXX

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That would be my newer one that my grandfather got me for a wedding present over 30 years ago when hubby and I got married the first time. That was just what he told me, too.

It's a number 11 cast iron, but I don't remember the make right now.

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2011-01-24, 11:07

Pr0az

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Quote:

Originally Posted by L,B'XXX

That would be my newer one that my grandfather got me for a wedding present over 30 years ago when hubby and I got married the first time. That was just what he told me, too.

It's a number 11 cast iron, but I don't remember the make right now.

I remember this older women whom lived across the street from us. She would put her cast iron pots into a small burning wood fire, any idea what that did for her?

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2011-01-24, 12:01

L,B'XXX

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Maybe she used them for pee pots and was sterilizing them? I wouldn't think that would season them because the grease would burn. I'm assuming you mean they were empty?

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2011-01-24, 12:59

Pr0az

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Quote:

Originally Posted by L,B'XXX

Maybe she used them for pee pots and was sterilizing them? I wouldn't think that would season them because the grease would burn. I'm assuming you mean they were empty?

Yes she would put the pot in the fire, as if she were burning the pot.

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2011-01-24, 13:12

L,B'XXX

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I did a little investigating and the only thing I came up with is to remove build up of cooked on stuff. It says to do it over medium flame, which would be a gas stove, I'm thinking, but the same would happen over an outdoor fire. It turns the build up to ash and makes it easy to clean.
That's basically what my self cleaning oven does. It gets up to about 700 degrees and turns burnt on stuff to ash so it can just be wiped out once it cools.
Makes sense to me. She must have been cleaning it.

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2011-01-24, 13:42

Gomli

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Quote:

Originally Posted by L,B'XXX

Is that salmon on a latke?

Salmon on creme fraiche on a half of my self invented pizza bun.

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2011-01-24, 13:47

L,B'XXX

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Hmm, it does look tasty.

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2011-01-25, 05:01

PST 88

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LB is correct. You clean a cast-iron by heating it up and scraping off the caked on nonsense. You season it by coating the cooking surface in salt and heating it up and scraping off the caked on nonsense. You do not wash it, ever. If you wash a cast-iron (or a non-stick, for that matter), then you are most assuredly an asshole. You only need to season it after the initial seasoning if you've done something stupid, like wash it.

For the record, you clean a non-stick by wiping it out with a paper towel. Unless you used it wrong and it's too dirty for that, because you're apparently an asshole.

Which is why a non-stick, or a cast-iron, is a specialized tool and not for everyday use.

2011-01-25, 09:54

L,B'XXX

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haha Did you just read my pussy cat remark to Tranny?

And then the fight started..... So PST, what did our forefathers use for cooking on a daily basis that we shouldn't use on a daily basis? And how on earth can you season something that rusts with salt? You can clean a seasoned pan with salt by using it for a scouring powder. You season the cast iron with grease or oil, edible, not 10W30 Pennzoil, and heat it in a slow oven so it gets absorbed into the pores of the iron, forming a glaze. Normally I don't wash mine, but I do put it into some soapy water if there's goobers on it somewhere. I never EVER put soap directly on it or put it into a dishwasher. Those are beating offenses. Same as my antique wooden breadboard.

Another idea I'd never heard about cast iron was it shouldn't be used on glasstop stoves. I guess since I don't slide pans on mine, and there's nothing in my books that came with my stove I'm not going to worry about it. I don't put pans of extreme temps on or in my oven anyways. What's your opinion on that, PST?

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2011-01-26, 01:06

PST 88

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I'm not a big user of glass top stoves, but they certainly don't seem like they'd be good for use with a cast-iron, what with the lack of direct heat and all.

Our forefathers used to scrape grime off their teeth with salt or sand on a daily basis. They are experts on nothing. That said, I'll admit that a cast-iron is probably the most useful searing pan imaginable and the best pan out there for cooking fish, especially skin-on fish. But they're not nearly as multi-use as stainless steel, and are downright shitty for certain tasks.

I'd still use the same heat-up-and-scrape-off method for when you get goobers on the pan; every restaurant that's worth a damn that I've been inside the kitchen of does the same (admittedly, they can generate more heat than you can). You're not doing it any favors by washing it at all.

2011-01-26, 09:30

L,B'XXX

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Yeah, that's true. Not all of their methods were that great, but they did what they had to do or were taught.
I was working at a hotel restaurant one Sunday morning and waffles were on their menu. We had a couple cast iron waffle griddles. The cook sprayed one with cooking oil only to find out all too late she'd picked up the oven cleaner instead. That was awful! lol It took forever to get the smell out of the griddle so it could be used, and it took all the seasoning off.

I rarely turn my stove caps on the highest heat so I don't have to deal with some of the issues that are associated with that. I have a heavy bottomed stainless pan as well as some heavy aluminum, plus some good ole vintage Revere I like.

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2011-03-01, 23:06

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I'm not a huge fan of aluminum (though I have to admit that, for most home uses, they are perfectly adequate; I just feel like you're cutting yourself off from a lot of potential technique with one), but stainless is a good home-use all-purpose pan. It's also the typical wide-usage pan for most restaurants. I WONDER WHY.

A waffle iron is tricky even treated properly (one place I worked that served banging chicken and waffles only let one of the dishwashers deal with waffles, because nobody else could work it so consistently), so that really must've been a bitch. Just make pancakes.

2011-03-02, 07:54

drawn&quartered

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There actually is a place that serves chicken and waffles? Please tell me its fried chicken. This is an urban legend come true for me.

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2011-03-02, 10:04

DameFraMorkum

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Quote:

Originally Posted by drawn&quartered

There actually is a place that serves chicken and waffles? Please tell me its fried chicken. This is an urban legend come true for me.

Yeah chicken and waffles is staple comfort food for the south. Especially for black people! If you live anywhere near NYC, go to Harlem. Walk 2 blocks anywhere. Eat chicken and waffles.

Personally I think that sounds like a terrible combination but I've never tried it.

2011-03-02, 10:30

L,B'XXX

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My mom said that during the late Depression my grandparents would have chicken and waffles. It's just like chicken and biscuits only over waffles instead. She HATES even the thought of it now. It was a once a week dish for them. For a long time she wouldn't eat pancakes because they ate them so often in her younger years. Grosser than that? My neighbors used to have plain popcorn with sugar and milk every Sunday night for supper. I tried it once. Not happening again.

I worked with a so-called head cook for awhile that used steam table pans on the gas burners. That used to drive me and the other real cook nuts.

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2011-03-02, 11:11

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Quote:

Originally Posted by DameFraMorkum

Yeah, I never got that one. Chicken is okay and so are waffles, but they just don't go together. I like combining chicken with fish or seafood, though. Anyone else do that?

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2011-03-02, 13:38

Dyldo

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Quote:

Originally Posted by drawn&quartered

There actually is a place that serves chicken and waffles? Please tell me its fried chicken. This is an urban legend come true for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris Rezendes

Yeah, I never got that one. Chicken is okay and so are waffles, but they just don't go together. I like combining chicken with fish or seafood, though. Anyone else do that?

What Dame said and it is fucking incredible if they do it well. My favorite fried chicken and waffles are from Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Fuckin' stellar.

Its usually steak and seafood for most surf-and-turfs I've eaten. Can't think of ever seeing it with chicken.

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Last edited by Dyldo : 2011-03-02 at 13:41.

2011-03-02, 15:59

L,B'XXX

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You've never had scratch-n-scales? Amazing.

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2011-03-02, 16:11

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Scratch-n-scales is the least appetizing sounding thing I've ever heard. Worst than smegma cream.

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2011-03-02, 16:28

L,B'XXX

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Cool! I just made it up. I should serve that at Sam-n-Ella's Restaurant.

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2011-03-02, 17:10

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyldo

I love bovine flesh for lunch and dinner, but don't like my beef with seafood. I love chicken with some light, white fish like tilapia or some shellfish like scallops, crab, or lobster. FWIW, I'm not talking about fried chicken; I hate fried chicken. I'm talking whole chicken breast, baked or broiled. I don't like wings or drumsticks, and I don't like my chicken breaded, either. Just plain, whole chicken breasts, sometimes with some pepper (or garlic pepper) and a light dusting of basil and parsley.

I should mention I'm not much of cook just in case my preferred diet doesn't make that fact obvious enough.

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2011-03-02, 17:23

Dyldo

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Who doesn't like fried chicken? I knew you weren't black!

I've never been big on tilapia.

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2011-03-02, 18:04

drawn&quartered

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Well fuck my ass, I have to have chicken and waffles now. Colorado does not have that obviously. Fried chicken is great, I just don't have it a lot.

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2011-03-02, 23:25

Chris Rezendes

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyldo

Who doesn't like fried chicken? I knew you weren't black!

I know, right? One of my first cousins on my coloured side hates watermelon, and even more strangely, his brother LOVES hockey. Seriously. I routinely remind him that, were he to show up to an actual Bruins game, he would not be allowed in, but he will quickly point out the two token black guys in the NHL at whatever point I antagonized him as evidence to the contrary. I still don't think they would let him in, though.

I seriously can't stand fried chicken, too. I love watermelon, but rarely eat it. Cookies are better and cheaper and, if I'm going to indulge in something saturated in sugars, it better fucking be a cookie.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyldo

I've never been big on tilapia.

A lot of people find tilapia to be plain and flavorless, but I fucking love it. To me it has a subdued but very textured, crab-like taste to it. I know a few other people who find the same taste in it. I also try to eat fish that can withstand more harvest pillaging than, say, my other favorite fish, like salmon and swordfish. Tilapia fits that bill nicely.

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2011-03-02, 23:57

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One of my favorite things in the world is tilapia breaded with italian breadcrumbs with toasted pine nut lemon butter sauce. Tilapia kind of reminds me of trout.

2011-03-03, 00:28

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Quote:

Crab, really?

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2011-03-03, 01:17

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Originally Posted by Undying_Hatred

Crab, really?

To me, yes. You don't have to agree, I already know most people won't.

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2011-03-03, 05:15

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Fried chicken and waffles definitely go together. This is one time that Chris is definitively wrong (there are many other times as well). I am speaking as a Chef, right now, but also as a resident of Harlem. That makes me qualified twice over, whereas Chris is neither a Chef nor black.

2011-03-03, 07:45

L,B'XXX

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We fished for tilapia in the Salton Sea in California. In fact, that was the first fish my eldest son ever caught, and Bob was only a few weeks old. I can't remember eating any of them because they seemed pretty small, but I've bought them since and they're pretty good. Not as good as Lake Erie perch or walleye, but they're good.

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2011-03-03, 11:38

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Nobody who's not from Ohio knows what a walleye is. When Michael Symon got his recipe for walleye into a national food magazine, they called it 'walleyed pike,' which is just nonsense.

Tilapia in general don't grow very big, and it's fairly unlikely that anybody here has eaten one that was actually caught, unless they did the catching themselves, because tilapia is one of the most farmable, and therefore most heavily farmed, fishes in the world. There's a reason that, when I worked in fairly shitty restaurants, tilapia was frequently on the menu or run as a special, and now that I work in decent ones it's nowhere to be seen.

But it's not a bad fish, per se.

2011-03-03, 13:39

L,B'XXX

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Are you from Ohio? gotcha Yeah, Canucks know pike, walleye, pickerel - they're good tasting fish with teeth. Very metal fish.

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2011-03-03, 14:11

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris Rezendes

Yeah, I find it pretty bland. Its not bad or anything, but it really doesn't, to me, have much of its own flavor at all. I don't see the crab, but I've only had it maybe 2 or 3 times so next time it comes my way I'll look out for that crabbycrab taste.

Also, it sounds like Rich is more black than you. At least from the waist up.

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2011-03-03, 18:26

Chris Rezendes

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Quote:

Originally Posted by L,B'XXX

Are you from Ohio? gotcha Yeah, Canucks know pike, walleye, pickerel - they're good tasting fish with teeth. Very metal fish.

Is that somehow considered a strongly regional thing? Chain pickerel and pike are hugely popular sport fish here in Mass and there are a few spots with walleye, too. Freshwater fishing is huge out here, and unlike shitty Ohio, we have an OCEAN, too; replete with bays, coves, inlets, salt marshes, brackish marshes, brackish cricks, and the like.

So in summary, fuck your fish, fuck your midwest pride (VIVA LA COSTA!), fuck the Indians, fuck the Reds, Browns, Bengals, Cavs, Blue Jackets, Mud Hens, and Buckeyes. Fuck Bob Hope, Jerry Springer, Halle Berry, George Clooney, Woody Harrelson, Fred Willard, Corporal Klinger, Drew Carey, Rob Lowe, Alan Ruck, Martin Sheen, and Molly Shannon.

Also, fuck Indiana for being gross enough to touch you guys, and by virtue, all of its wildlife, personalities, and sports teams as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyldo

I would buy them frozen from the seafood deli here at any supermarket in SE Mass and then just throw them in the oven for a while. Not sure if it makes a difference how you prepare it, but it might help knowing I cooked it the laziest, least involved way possible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyldo

Also, it sounds like Rich is more black than you. At least from the waist up.

Rich is a fucking Jewbie. That's the least black you could possibly get, even less than Scandinavian or Korean. Don't let the vaunted Jewfro fool you, it's not even close.

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2011-03-04, 08:50

L,B'XXX

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You're just jealous because you don't have any 35 foot long sturgeons in Massachuchie. And you see that it has Massa in it? (clears throat)

I agree about the Indiana part though. They should just go away and let the Yoopers move down.

You forgot Urban Meyer, Erma Bombeck, Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller, Tim Conway, Carmen Electra, Dean Martin, and Phil Keaggy. Halle Berry, Neil Armstrong, James Thurber, R.L. Stine, Roy Rogers, Ron Jeremy, Maynard from Tool, Chryssie Hynde from Pretenders, Marilyn Manson, Devo, Trent Reznor, Frankie Yankovich, and numerous Mafia members who I don't personally know, but know they're there.

People there just haven't migrated this way yet. The did it for several hundred years, but lost their maps and for got which way the sun rises so they got stuck on the coast. Here, our Jewish Museums embrace the Civil Rights movements, too, because they're so closely linked.

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2011-03-04, 11:00

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris Rezendes

I used to eat a lot of Talapia. Love it. I enjoy lots of things that people consider bland. But that is because they just have fucked up and incorrect taste-buds, LIKE DYLAN.

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2011-03-04, 11:38

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You may have it backwards with regards to taste-buds. Liking things that are commonly regarded as bland doesn't necessarily mean you have a more nuanced palate, since it's equally likely that you just have a plain old boring one. Which is fine.

Salmon are perfectly sustainable, and good organic salmon farms are increasingly abundant (Le Bernardin serves farmed salmon and they're arguably the best seafood restaurant in the world, so hewing to line-caught there is becoming increasingly pretentious).

Anybody who's had to clean swordfish pretty much loses any desire to eat the things, at least in my experience. In New England, so long as you refuse to accept any swordfish that haven't grown to maturity, you could fairly easily avoid clearing them out, however. It's just most people don't, y'know, give a fuck.

2011-03-04, 13:02

DameFraMorkum

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Quote:

Originally Posted by PST 88

Anybody who's had to clean swordfish pretty much loses any desire to eat the things, at least in my experience. In New England, so long as you refuse to accept any swordfish that haven't grown to maturity, you could fairly easily avoid clearing them out, however. It's just most people don't, y'know, give a fuck.

Uh... clear them out? What do you mean exactly?? I've had a couple of swordfish steaks and they were really good. Not sure if I want to know what's so disgusting about them in the prep but I'm compelled by morbid curiosity.

2011-03-04, 13:43

Dyldo

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Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeYngVai

I used to eat a lot of Talapia. Love it. I enjoy lots of things that people consider bland. But that is because they just have fucked up and incorrect taste-buds, LIKE DYLAN.

My taste buds used to be incredible but all the acidity in your father's cum pretty much burned them all out.

I also demand more explanation, Rich. Swordfish is nice. My father used to grill it a lot.

Tried monkfish liver a month or so ago. Can't say it was great, but it was interesting.

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Last edited by Dyldo : 2011-03-04 at 13:52.

2011-03-04, 14:16

Chris Rezendes

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Quote:

Originally Posted by PST 88

I still do eat a lot of salmon, just less than smaller, more farmable fish. I actually like all fish I've ever tried, though I've developed something of a distaste for Cod; not because it's terrible, but probably because it was a childhood staple food (read: cheap, welfare fish), I ate it more than I would have preferred, and my mother couldn't (and can't) cook for shit. When I'm in the gym more, I readily eat tuna straight out of the can, usually about two per day. I stick with the chunk light to avoid mercury issues, but I know that's still a little too much fish.

On a related note, I also love to eat pussy, which is regularly compared to fish. I never found the taste nor smell particularly comparable, though. I always thought cervical mucous more closely resembled saliva in smell. In fact, I salivate a lot when I run; outside this isn't a problem, but on my treadmill, I have to keep a cup around like a chaw dipper to rid myself of spit so I can breathe properly. This cup invariably smells like vagina by the time I'm done running. Please retain this mental image. Disgusting, isn't it? THEN WHY DO I HAVE A FUCKING BONER?!

As far as swordfish goes, I'm pretty hard to gross out. I really don't give a shit what's in there; I'll assume that they're fine by the time they reach my local deli and/or supermarket. I'm one of those people that don't mind that a certain amount of live rats and rat droppings are legally allowed into vats at food processing plants; as far as I'm concerned, it's not enough of the rat for me to taste, and it's not enough of the rat to make me sick, and I'm not going to be offended (or disgusted) on the principle alone that a molecule of rat made it's way into my dinner.

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2011-03-04, 16:32

L,B'XXX

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I don't think I'll ever by chunk light tuna again. I switched back to albacore in water again, and it's so much better. I like it straight out of the can, too. Salmon, too. And I LOVE the bones in there. Good stuff.
Aren't swordfish supposed to be one of the fish that does have high concentrations of mercury?

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2011-03-04, 18:18

Chris Rezendes

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Yeah, hugely so, but I don't eat swordfish very often because I'm not rich and I don't own my own boat. Swordfish steaks are usually a tad pricey.

As for albacore vs. chunk light, of course albacore tastes better. However, it's much higher in mercury (and other heavy metals) than chunk light, which means you can't eat it as often, and it takes way longer to gobble up a can of albacore than chunk light. Chunk light really is very light; I can devour two cans relatively quickly and still leave room for a few triscuits or crackers. Albacore, like I said, does taste a bit better, but it's a bit of a chore to eat two whole cans of it, especially if you're in a rush.

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2011-03-04, 19:47

L,B'XXX

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I suppose it would be harder to eat that way, but I use it for casseroles mostly so the chunks of albacore are more to our liking. I didn't know there was more of a chance of mercury being in it though.

We served swordfish when I worked at a hotel restaurant about 20 years ago, but I don't remember ever tasting it. If I did I wasn't impressed enough to remember. With the economy failing so badly we didn't serve high end stuff like that for too long.

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2011-03-07, 02:09

JoeYngVai

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Today I discovered that I no longer enjoy tuna...

Spicy tuna sushi, however, is fucking amazing. Canned tuna... can go suck a fuck.

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2011-03-07, 02:21

Chris Rezendes

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I have some spicy tuna sushi in the fridge, along with spicy salmon (the raw one, unfortunately; it's good, but I prefer the cooked one) and one other pack. Picked them up Saturday, so I should try to eat them all over the next couple of days.

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2011-03-07, 04:19

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I'm with you, Ian. I love Tuna but cannot STAND canned tuna. I hate the taste, the smell, the look, the sound, the fury or anything else about it.

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2011-03-07, 07:03

L,B'XXX

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Dyl, if you get the albacore in water it's dryer tasting when you drain it, but its chunkier. Slap a little sweet pickle relish and Miracle Whip in it on some bread, and get your carbs and protein. Pickles do not count as a vegetable.

I dusted some boneless skinless chicken breasts with tumeric and garlic powder with parsley last night and had a side of broccoli-cheese rice. Man, that was good. Trying to get some antioxidants and anti-inflammatories into our diet since hubby's having lasting trouble from his back surgery. His innards just aren't working like they used to. Take care of yourselves, guys and girls.

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2011-03-16, 06:17

Paddy

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Baguette + chopped up burger = Heaven. Fuck me it's so good.

2011-03-18, 04:17

blitz906

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I tried some goat cheese. Surprisingly, it actually tastes pretty good, considering that it smells like Jeffrey Dahmer's basement.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate

God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gomli

The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one

2011-03-18, 07:30

Dyldo

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Goat cheese can have a strong smell, but great goat cheese, freshly made, can have the worst smell of all cheeses but taste the greatest.

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Last edited by Dyldo : 2011-03-18 at 07:33.

2011-03-18, 07:40

blitz906

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyldo

Goat cheese can have a strong smell, but great goat cheese, freshly made, can have the worst smell of all cheeses but taste the greatest.

Yes. I used to find the smell repulsive, which made me want to avoid it. But I've been told that no matter how bad a cheese smells, you just have to forget about the smell and taste it.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Paddy

Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate

God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gomli

The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one

2011-06-07, 04:11

blitz906

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Has anyone here ever tried Ethiopian food?

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Paddy

Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate

God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gomli

The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one

2011-06-07, 07:06

L,B'XXX

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That sounds like the opening of a joke for Ethronopian chicken.

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2011-06-07, 11:06

Dyldo

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Quote:

Originally Posted by blitz906

Has anyone here ever tried Ethiopian food?

Refraining from obvious joke.. I have not, though I hear its good. About a year ago I got lost while driving through LA and found "Little Ethiopia" and it was packed with intriguing restaurants. I would have stopped and ate if I wasn't late for something.

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2011-06-07, 11:59

Gomli

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Quote:

Originally Posted by blitz906

Has anyone here ever tried Ethiopian food?

Dude you gotta get some banana leaves and damp some fish in it then serve it with cous cous. Ladies will give you sexy time all night long

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2011-06-07, 12:50

blitz906

Okay.