Okay, I just got initiated with Guitar Hero at my neighbor's house. Her son and his buddies were playing and 3 of us ladies went into watch them and ended up singing. I seriously don't know how you guys follow those fretboards because they were making my eyes swim. And yeah, I sang. "White Wedding" by Billy Idol. I think I hit 91% on it whatever that means.

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Worst fish ever: Hákarl. It tastes like rotting fish soaked in bleach (which is kind of technically is). However, on the other end of the scale concerning Icelandic cuisine is the best fish and lamb I've ever had.

About a weekish ago I went to this great seafood place for my mother's birthday and I ordered butterfish, a fish I've never had before. Pretty good.

EDIT: Googling about the fish now, it apparently gives some people uncontrollable orange anal leakage. I did not suffer this, thank god.

DOUBLE EDIT: Apparently it is Escolar that does this, and escolar is often misleadingly labeled as butterfish.


I've never actually cooked catfish, but it seems that frying them is the preferred method for most people. I couldn't give you any tips on the bullhead as I don't really know much about the species.



Oh man, me too. I haven't had a lot of experience with oysters for some reason, so I can't really throw it in there, but everything else you mentioned makes my mouth wetter than Paddy in front of an elementary school. Scallops are probably my favorite out of the lot, and I should be cooking those up tonight or tomorrow as I have some left over from a dinner thing and I need to use them before they start to turn.

Chris, have you had conch? That is one mollusk that I'm dying to try. It looks great and the way the taste has been described to me sounds delicious. The last time I looked for it only one high-end Caribbean place had it and it was 40 minutes away and an expensive $50 plate at a time when I couldn't afford to treat myself.


Hahaha, yeah, well, that was a long time ago and before I really got into food, how to cook (on an amateur level), and developed my taste buds.

Ahaha, who the fuck edited my sig? Holy shit I hate MGMT more than anything. Maybe even more than Muse... no, I take that back. I'm convinced Muse is the 8th plague from God.

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I know i'm out of the subject but, I came to say hello! It's been a while!

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Hello!

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" "

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A friend of mine mentioned a butcher knife and hard-on in the same sentence and I remembered someone's surgery today. Hope all goes well with him.

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Well, here's his FB status: "Back from my surgery. I`m fucked up like a fuckin putrid pile of a cunt horseshit ass midget. Fuck"

waiting for the 120 seconds to expire... how have they not? It's been forever.

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I know. Don't they seem to take forever? So much for spontaneity.

As long as he doesn't sneeze he'll be okay.

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Fuck sneezing, as long as he doesn't get a hard-on. I don't have FB, but who ever does should start sending him huge amounts of porn to make him suffer. SUFFER!

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What a brilliant idea. I bet he'd have a go at a wank anyway, just to be able to run around growling "I CUM BLOOOOOOD!!!"

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Both of that happened tonight. You won`t believe what pain I`m goin through. But I have to say the pain is actually a good erection-protector. Whenever my body pumps blood into my shlong it feels like the skin would rip apart and ZING erection gone.
No shit, my punis looks like a swollen Jesus with his thorn-crown on the head(pics only per PM). Have you ever bled in your abdominal area? No? Of course not, you aren`t as brutal as me.


Best fuckin idea ever. But only infront of a kindergarten or on a graveyard

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Yikes.

I'm very curious to hear what sex is like in comparison to being cut. Let me know in about 5 years when you get some and tell me if it actually feels better to be un-cut.

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Did the doc cut too much?

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I did a course at university, I think in my final year (yes,it was that long ago), on population dynamics. It revolved mostly around two-animal systems - predator and prey - and was up there with the most enjoyable of my courses.

The mathematics, while not the most difficult I have ever encountered, was anything but easy! Loads of partial derivatives and integration...

PS: 47.

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Oh my god. My boss's boss just challenged me to a hot sauce eating contesting. I'm gunna die, I'm gunna die. I misjudged his gringo looking hot sauce. Chemicals or not, dear god I'm melting.

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Your ass will thank you in the morning.

Barbie has pulled a Pinocchio and become a real woman:

http://www.bikinipageone.com/t05/ki...and02/pic14.jpg

NO PUSSY!

Why the fuck do I think its safe to click on a link from Paddy at work? Or ever? Man did I have some amazing reflexes on that one.

And yes, Silent Night, it will. In its own language though. It'll sound something like "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BRA BRA BRA BRA CUUUSHHHHHH PRRRRRRRR RAEEEEAAAA BRRRR FFUBBBBBBBBBBB"

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I'll click that once I get back on my own computer...

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It's actually not bad, seriously. I'd fuck it, making a hole in someplace or another.

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lol "It's actually not bad..."
I wouldn't fuck it with a face looking like that, I would be telling her that her eyeballs are too spaced apart the whole time.


Just got back from a show with my band in Trenton, New Jersey. I can't fucking stand Jersey... There's just something about the air there. I yelled at our bassist for opening the window and letting some Jerse in the car

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I bet nobody here can watch this without going into a mad rage lol:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5SN...feature=related

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OK WISE GUY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaHLlGtOZbg

Cancer...need...cancer...of the...eyes, ears, face and brain...

I sincerely hope that the little girls who listen to this are found washed up on the beach in a semen-encrusted plastic bag; their little blue lips still twinkling from the remnants of the glitter-laden lipstick they smeared on themselves in the hopes of sucking the bald, limp cocks of this 10-year-old shower of bastards. May syphilitic chimps tear off their soft, soft faces and eat their eyelids like bubblegum in front of their cunting parents. And may they swallow whatever I give them to sallow, such are the rules of The Shawshank Redemption aka my Silence of the Lambs style hole-in-the-ground basement prison. It rubs the hand-lotion on my cock or it gets the hose again, i.e. more cock.

I got a couple of pairs of black jeans recently, and they fucking stink, so much so that sitting in one place for more than 10 minutes gives me massive headaches. I've washed them about 6 times each and they still smell like burnt rubber and fried piss, and wrapping my crotch in clingfilm - thus ruling out the possibility that my rotting man-clitoris is the culprit - doesn't help either. After searching for solutions online, and after discovering that it's probably the black dye which is causing it (because blue jeans from the same manufacturer don't smell like cancer), I thought I'd ask you black-clad metalheaded freaks of nature if you've ever come across this problem before, and if so what did you do to solve it besides setting fire to the fuckers.

Fuckin' £12 each, for fuck's sake.

Fuck you for posting this

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What's with the little girls dancing around him? Are we supposed to assume that he's fucking them? My ever-thickening cock would seem to suggest so.

Kid on kid porn is a victimless crime.

that actually made me laugh. chubby little fuck sounds like he is saying something about burritos, and that makes it all the more funny.

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Paddy, try adding some white vinegar to the rinse cycle when you wash them. Probably about a cup or even 2. It won't hurt and it will help set the black dye, too. Like an Easter egg dye bath. Vinegar is good for removing smells from stuff and once it dries it doesn't smell.

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I beat ya to it. Well, sorta. I filled the bathtub just enough to cover the jeans, and then added half a bottle of white vinegar, washing detergent and baking soda and then stirred it all up like some mad soup. I'll leave 'em soaking all night. If that shit don't work I don't know what will.

I KNEW you'd be the first (and possibly only) person to reply to my trouser woes hahahahaha

Okay, and I should have deleted about half of that quote, but I'm too lazy to do that right now.

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Trouser woes sounds like a bad 50's blues song lyric. heehee

OH OH OH NOOOO
I got the trou-ou-ou-ouser woessssssss
The trou-ou-ou-ousers woes
Cuz nothin' in my trousers growssssss
Since you been gonnnnnnne

Do they sell Febreze over there? That's for odors and works pretty well. Are you sure it's not just you that smells? Maybe a midget got stuck up yer snot locker or something?

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Febreeze™ is powerless against this stink. Seriously, I emptied about a gallon of the stuff onto them and it didn't help, nor did spraying half a can of deodorant on them. The smell is far too pungent and overpowering for such things; it cuts through the summery freshness of Febreeze™ like a hot knife through a leper's milky eye.

Hopefully the vinegar/washing powder/baking soda concoction will do the trick. MI5 may think I'm cooking explosives in my bathtub but fuck it, I ain't made of money, and by "I" I of course mean "my mum".

I was mildly disappointed when I mixed all of those ingredients together and the fumes didn't make me pass out - I was hoping for a "Eureka!" moment in coming up with a cheap and easy alternative to Rohypnol. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

I was just gunna suggest Febreze or some other kind of odor eliminator.

I feel bad for that fat little Mexican kid. The poor guy will never have a chance to find his own identity now that his parents have given him an exact way to dress, act, and think. Kids that age shouldn't have to worry about looking cool, tough, etc.

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Agreed, plus I don't think kids (if the kids are indeed the instigators of such careers) are in a position to fully appreciate the gravity of their decision to be in the limelight. Let's face it; most adults don't. Just look at what's happening to poor Mel Gibson!

Paddy, except for the soap part that's the same stuff you can gargle with for a sore throat. I doubt it would be explosive.
Is there any way you can send them back? I'm sure your mum wouldn't want you polluting her space with stinky britches.

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She has no sense of smell, so she doesn't give a shit, and even if she did give a shit she couldn't smell it anyway. BA DUM FUCKIN' TISH!

I doubt they could be sent back at this stage, but I'm determined to solve this problem because I only have two pairs of jeans left that fit me haha. That is, I have no other trousery-type garments at all. So I'm gonna be wearing them eventually, smell or no smell.

Fuckin' £12 a pair. Fuck sake.

Jean shopping is probably the most frustrating experience for me because it takes me hours to find a decent pair that doesn't look like it was designed by a cast member from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. I DON'T WANT PREFADED JEANS! I DON'T WANT TRENDY CREASES! I DON'T WANT 37 POCKETS! I JUST WANT SLIM FIT! FUCK!

This is why I only own two pairs, one having a giant patch on the crotch because I'm too lazy to buy a replacement.

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Also, Pads, I just thought of this: try putting them in a plastic bag and then sticking it in the freezer over night. I've heard this works with smelly shoes because the bacteria that is causing them to smell die off, so I figure it should work the same with anything else as long as its being caused by bacteria.

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Hahaha I'm the same man, I can't understand why people pay twice as much for jeans which look like they once belonged to a careless homeless person when they can get proper non-cunt jeans for less than a pizza. Unfortunately if you want to buy any clothing which hasn't been stripped off of Satan's own back you gotta go to supermarkets and the like. The ones causing me nose-grief are from a catalogue, one of those "order now and pay nothing until the next ice age" dealies. Basically an ethereal, omnipresent meistermarket which caters to single mothers, deadbeats and the poor. And fat Irish people.

I get awesome short-sleeved shirts from ASDA (the UK's version of Wal-Mart) for £4, which is what I believe they should cost everywhere, so much so that I don't give a fuck if they're cobbled together by swarthy children in some dank sweatshop in Taiwan. In fact, I prefer that arrangement; it's my sweet patronage which keeps the little fuckers in rice and sake. I fail to see how that's a bad thing. It's political correctness gone MAD I tells ya!

[/Awesome Satire]

The freezing idea is one I had come across during my extensive and painstaking 5-minute research, but I'm not sure if bacteria is causing the stench (although that will undoubtedly be the cause once I've been wearing them for a few days). I'll definitely give it a whirl if all else fails!

Cheers Bobbi Boflax and Dylderton Dibbles

SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck!!! tomorrow megadeth testament, and slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I've still as of yet to see Slayer or Megadeth. I've had plenty of chances but I'm just not huge on either of them, save a couple albums.

I went to my first show in months last week and saw Decapitated, Cephalic Carnage, The Red Chord, and Decrepit Birth. Pitting to Spheres of Madness is probably going to be the highlight of my summer.. fuck I've been waiting to do that for years and years.

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I've heard that about freezing, too. Try it. It works if you have the old fashioned glue type stamps stuck together, too, sometimes.

I bought a new pair of jeans about 6 years ago. I'm still wearing Bob's old ones that he wouldn't when he was in high school because they weren't Jenko's or whatever they were. He wore the same pair every single day. I've gotten other jeans here and there from yard sales or thrift shops, but they're really hard to find that aren't ragbag wear. I'm poor and I'm cheap so I make due. As long as I can sneeze and they don't fall down I'm game.

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I`ve heard that Dave Mustaine is in the shape of his life. I`d really appreciate seeing one of this shows but yeah. .. Slayer is still an option in my summer concerts list.
And Watain announced their tourplan for this fall. 28th Oct in Hamburg

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They still stink despite having marinaded in the bathtub all night. I guess I'll try freezing them. Fuck me, who'da thunk that jeans could be so difficult?

I think it's pronounced "ON the game".

Same here, I'd gladly dig into a charity shop's bins if I thought I could find a half-decent pair of munks, but it's almost always old lady cardigans, and Christ knows I don't need any more of those.

EDIT: Bobbi, did you pray for my jeans to be stink-free? I don't know what happened but I went to grab my jeans off the washing line and they smelled fine. It's a miracle! It's an immaculate deodorisation! YAY!

God works in mysterious ways. I think I just heard a thunderous laugh and He's saying, "We accept you. We accept you."

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Tell God I appreciate his interest in my trousers, and that he's welcome to have a root around in 'em any time. Probably best if he does so when I'm not wearing them, I wouldn't want him to get the wrong end of the...well, you know...

I'm not a biblical scholar by any means, but I'm pretty sure this plague of locusts isn't indicative of God's acceptance. Well, I say locusts, but my doctor says Phthirus pubis. Potato potatto!

LOL HAY STEVE!

Just got back from this show..Front row the whole set. Fucking epic. I'd say Megadeth put on the best show for sure...they are fucking amazing sounding live.

HANGAR 18 I KNOW TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Got the promotion. Goodbye college. :P

Hooray 4 sk00l!

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You are going to quit college because you're assistant manager for some fast food place?

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It's a lumber yard, and I'm making more than most people when they exit college. Plus, I'm not quitting college, I'd get bored.

you might be making more now, but what about advancement? benefits? retirement?

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I like the way you did that. And this will probably be the one and only time you'll ever have a woman say that to you even though it's not what you wanted it to be about - or was it?

Cool concert news!
Lumbar or college? Bloom where you're planted. As long as ye hain't dead yet you got time.

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Congrats on the promotion, Req

To be honest, having anything said to me by a woman is a treat.

My favorite heart-warmer is "Please, stop! I have a family!"

Is it our fault that what they consider rape we consider speed-dating? I don't think so.

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9/10 people enjoy gang rape.
I`m tired

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I can only guess why the 10th one doesn't like it.

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The 10th one is the recipient.

or a homophobe, you can't get hard around other guys in fear of exposing his true sexuality.

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Isn`t actually the 10th person who gets raped by the other 9? That`s why he/she doesn`t like it.....i guess.....fuck it I`m gonna rape again no matter if the victim likes it or not

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yeah I get it, I was just making something else up.

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Ahahaha.

By the way. RAM and CD in mail went out today. Finally..

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you're a fucking star. All yellow and pointy like a stabbed Jap.



In celebration of our ever deepening friendship I had a dream about you the other night. You were stranded in Belfast somehow (not sure what you were doing here, probably trying to nab yourself some sweet Paddy poon) and you emailed me from an internet café, giving me the number of the café to call. I called up, and you were so happy to hear from me that you ejaculated Rice Crispies into the mouth of small child playing The Sims 2. I told you which bus to get on, and I met you at the bus stop, and we hugged, kissed passionately and then made salty love right there on the road. Then I woke up and wiped myself down. I may have embellished a few details, but the gist of it is true. So, there you have it, we're now cum-brothers.

Can't wait to get that CD! Thanks again for sending the RAM back, that'll put a nice lil' dent in my rent boy debts.

God damn you're sexy.

Paddy, are you sure the embellishments didn't make up about 90% of your recap?

For instance, last night I had a dream where I was sitting on my couch with Paddy and we were watching kiddie porn. Then I noticed that I was naked and covered in vomit. Then Dylan, Waylon, and everybody in the world came in to wish me a happy birhtday and the room exploded with semen.

I have underlined the lies.

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If only those embellished details were true. If you really did ever have a wet dream about me, would you tell me? I wouldn't judge you, you wouldn't be the first. I actually had a contest going with myself to see how many guys I could get to call out my name as they orgasm with a girl. Either just "Dylan!" or, "This one's for Dylaann!". I never got passed one, but one is enough because now I can officially say a man has called out my name with a girl during their climax. What does this accomplish? Nothing but a check off on the sexual conquest to-do list. Maybe even gayer is that I tattooed my name on my friend's ass (it reads: "Dylan!"). A few years later I attempted to tattoo a vagina in between in fingers, but it just ended up getting infected. We didn't have a gun this time so we just used a hot needle and ink. He now has a thick scar.

Ian, your dream makes a lot more sense if read it as if the truth were underlined.

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Chris: WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SPIDER IS THIS?

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That's a Chinese Embossing Spider. They tip back on their butt and leave an imprint which a female spider can detect. While they're in that position they hold onto prey with one leg and spar with their food before they eat it.

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OH MY GOD. FUCK THAT.

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Its gotta be fake, I'm sure of it. It just looks really, really real.

And no, it isn't the Chinese Embossing Spider. I was stupid enough to google that.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclocosmia

this or a ravine trapdoor spider
Srsly that thing is just . . . baah

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As if spiders weren't as ugly as sin already. Fuck me God has some explaining to do.

Everything minus the sex was true.

That wasn't a dream. Rohypnol is a hell of a drug!

In all honesty the only dream I've had involving sex with a man was one in which I was being raped by Hannibal Lecter. I'm not making that shit up, either. I would normally offer a more thorough account, but I fear that certain details (such the fact that I was on top) might give you the wrong impression.

Dylan, your friend sounds like he's "a few paedos short of a family reunion". I'd like his email address.

roflmao I love you guys!!

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I had a dream where this mildly cute chick from school and I were starting to get it on, and then it turned out that she had a dick. I'm going to let you speculate on the rest.

Recently I had a dream, in which, I entered a separate lucid dream-state willfully. However, I was aware of the lucid part being a dream, but I was unaware that every time I would wake up out of it that I was still asleep in a dream. Mind fuck dreams are always the best

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You dirty, dirty man!

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Its okay Pads and Ian, my first nocturnal emission involved me in the dream having sex with a glass coke bottle. Seriously.

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Is it that small in real life also?

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Yeah, the former is it: http://media.photobucket.com/image/...cketti_01-1.jpg

I really have no fear or problem with spiders (as long as they don't touch me without permission), but that thing give me the fucking shivers.


Only one way to find out, hunny. I bet you gots a purtty mouth.

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Well I didn't have 8 years of orthodontics for nothing you know.

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You're about to have 8 more after my 370384783 PSI ejaculation rips out your molars. I could have had a job as a dental assistant removing children's wisdom teeth but I decided against it because that would take all the fun and challenge out of it.

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haha that's an awesome story. I can't remember my first one, but all I know is that for a while there were A LOT, even though I didn't remember any sexual dream content. Man... those days were messy as hell.

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Haha, your poor mother: "Ian! I just cleaned these..."

Luckily I just nut air. A simple whisper into the night air and all is taken by breeze.

But I can still nut 308730837² PSI if I want.

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I`ve never had a dream that made me jizz. Probably I started too early with wanking.
ah yeah and FUUUCK YEAH@ healing penis:
I made a short 25km cycling tour with a friend of mine today and it was pretty cool and no problems with little-Björn

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Healing penis is the BEST penis!

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Yea dude have you seen them live?

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Is chunky cum normal? My cum looks like the peas from a chowder soup.

probably not, but I usually wank into a tissue and don't spend time observing it

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I save mine in hopes of one day really getting back at somebody I hate. The possibilities are endless with an entire jar of cum.

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Why isn`t that my idea?

Definetly penis cancer. You`re fucked

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I was outback burning sacrif - I mean- papers and tree branches and wandered into a bit of brush a few days ago and walked into a web. The spider smacked onto a lens of my glasses, I screamed, and my glasses caught on a little branch and went sideways on my face. All in about 5 seconds time. It wasn't so much being afraid of the spider, but the startle and it being near my eye. It looked enormous.

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Old lady glasses make everything look huge. Yes, that is why I carry them.

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You can live that delusional lifestyle if you want, but the cock will still be the same size when it's in your mouth you know, Dyldo.

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Yeah, but to a 4-year old it'll seem HUGE when he looks back on it 20 years later. Kind of like your favorite slide during kindergarten that you go back to visit and find out that it is, in fact, not the size of the Eiffel Towerm but is at about shoulder length. The kid will never find out the truth though as I'll be miles away! MILES!

Fucking Christ am I hungover.

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Dude that`s exactly what happened to me when I started my work experience at a kindergarten (I want some pedo jokes now)

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Here are some I picked up...

A guy is laying in bed with a girl after some really rough, intense sexing. The girl looks up from his loving embrace and says "You know... you seem to be getting more and more perverted". The man looks at her and says "Perverted? That's a pretty big word for a 6-year old!"

BA-DUM, SPASH!

A man tells a little boy that he lost his dog and the last he saw of it was it running some nearby woods. He convinced the boy to help him go look for his dog but as they start to approach the woods it begins to get dark and the little boy says "I don't want to go in there anymore, its scary!". The man replies "Well think about how I feel. I have to come back alone!"

BA-DANG, CUNT!

Women's rights.

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

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I'd slap you, but you'd like it too much and there'd be a line up.

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BAHAHAHAAAAAHAHA

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I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I will foresee the consequences. I am strong, I am strong.

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Is it just me, or does anyone think a porno with cytherea and sasha grey would just kick ass?

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i still remember my password lol. Whats up fuckardy Megeutalstein?

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