It was, like, 8 away! What the fuck?

cunt-goblin

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I'm baaaaaack... so what's up?

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o so much has happnd hear u have no idea man

PENIS

oh the above just explained everything.

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Why the fuck would someone close and RTT when it`s only 292 posts heavy?

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because pst is a dickhead

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I'd like to introduce you to Richard Cranium.

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OOH!
i get it.

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just started my vacation from work going up to Montreal for 3 days with the lady tomorrow, i can't fucking wait. coming back on friday morning to head out to Boston for my cousins 21st birthday party. we're seeing Hypocrisy friday night in worcester mass too. this week should rule in epic proportions

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Fuuuuuuck yeah man Boston & Hypocrisy!

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GOD WHY IS PST SUCH A DICK?! I hate you and your swamp-crotch mother.

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It's funny, i've always liked their music but i've never listened to an album of theirs before. I just got their newest album so I can be somewhat prepared for the show. What album/s would you recommend though? They've got a bunch to pick from. Peter is a fucking great vocalist

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PST isn't a dickhead, he's just an uncommitted cunt. Kinda like a serial killer who only maims. Or a rapist who only finger-fucks. And it's to his credit.

I still think he's doing ludes now. He's not as biting as he used to be. Maybe he's just getting old and tired.

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So they found the bassist of Slipknot dead in a hotel this morning. I wouldn't say i'm a fan of the band but RIP to him. Dude dedicated his life to metal and for his fans.

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Owning hard copies of their complete discography..I'll chime in.

Honestly, the only EP's I really don't care for much are Osculum Obscenum, Catch 22(a couple good songs), to a lesser extent. My favorites are Hypocrisy, The Arrival, Virus and their newest, A Taste of Extreme Divinity.

Have fun at the show, I'd love to see them live.

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lol holy shit.

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Bahahahahaha

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That's fucking tragic. Why did he have to die now? Why not 15 years ago?

he was a lefty too, there are now only 13 remaining in the world

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And the sooner we're rid of them the sooner we can begin to build towards a pure race of God-fearing righties.

I'm still having a hard time with the ambidextrous though... I mean, oppress, torment and wipe out, or count among the righteous? This god-fearing business is hard.

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Me: Want to try something unusual and unique? Try to brush your teeth with the opposite hand.

Bob: Does it feel like a stranger's doing it?
( I hate kids.)

That sucks he died. Not a big fan either, but I there was a couple things by Slipknot I used to like. RIP.

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Yeah, I guess it sucks to die. I didn't like dicksnot at all but still, sucks to be him and dead.

I guess you can die of embarrassment.

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It just takes a while.

Seriously, though, this is pretty sad. Imagine if you'd died before you grew out of your 'dressing up' phase. Or, for that matter, your 'playing bass' phase.

Wish I were on 'ludes. Unfortunately I just have so much to be angry about in my regular life that I don't have the energy for it here. It's weird.

Last Friday night I smoked some bowls with the singer of Cephalic Carnage after Dying Fetus played a show.

Holy shit, fuck jail. They got me for some traffic tickets that turned to warrant status, so I got 4 days in with the muderers and theives. This is Dallas TX btw. Fuck the system. In it's loose asshole.
My smilies tell a story dammit.

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I hope you didn't drop the soap. (hence the loose asshole)

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Maybe you'll grow out of that soon enough.

The 'dressing up' phase is something one never grows out of. Hate ta tell ya.

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Maaan that sucks. Why didn`t you just blackmail the cops?

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Considering Cephalic usually has signs at their merch table that read "Will trade merch for weed", I wouldn't be surprised at how desperate they can get.

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All I had to do to get him to smoke a couple bowls with me, was smoke a couple bowls with him.

And Dyldo, you're a fuckin' dick, and you're just fuckin' jealous. Why are you jealous? Because you're addicted to eating out fat chicks, and you penis is sick.

I've been telling him this for years.

ah man up. you were in county lock up for 4 days. that's nothin.

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I didn't say it was "nothin". Just sayin' the system is bullshit. And what's with the loose asshole talk. Fuck you. I didn't shower the entire time.

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He is a Corrections Officer dumbass.

Are you uptight because your ass got untight?

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Gotta take care of those pesky tickets before you get a bench warrant issued. I can't say I'm unsympathetic, but I would say that the minor hassle of either paying a fine or going to the court date conveniently listed for you on the ticket is well worth it. It's not like they make it hard for you to avoid the whole bench warrant scenario.

mtv_is_gay: Watch it. Don't go all pissy and personal because somebody teased you (because you bragged about something totally inconsequential). That's the type of behavior I've got a hot nut for, and as much as I'd love the excuse, I'd rather you imitate a mature adult during your time here. Who knows? - maybe you'll actually contribute something useful for a change. Everybody else can get along, so please try and do the same.

LB: Phases are internal. Situations are external. When the situation changes, the 'phase' will be over.

I know how the shit works. I work in State Level 5 Max Security prison. The biggest one in the state too. Poor guy didn't shower, aw, that's terrible. Come to my prison where you'd probably get your food taken from you, extorted for whatever belongings they're interested in and then raped. Then after you're raped, the system doesn't let you shower because it's a crime scene and they want to keep the evidence on you for investigation. So as you sit there crying, with semen dripping out of your ass, you'll wish you did a weekend in county lockup with punks who got caught with dimebags and duis.

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It seems like a lot of folks are getting antsy in here.

RTT #165: PMS is a bitch.

haha, lulz

I love you guys.

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Oh, you don't know the half of it! At least once a year I have such an extreme mental fry that insanity is the only way to describe it. I scared my neighbor and her husband 3 years ago over them having a bonfire that smoked up my house and I was worried my barn or house would catch fire that they didn't burn for 2 years. The other day he told her the wind was blowing the right direction, the ground was wet, and the pile was high so did she think it was okay to burn. He also asked if she should come up and tell me. lol She's religious and she still said no way in hell! roflmao And she's been my best friend for almost 50 years!!! I went snake shit on her when it happened those years ago, felt so guilty, and called her the next day to apologize and we both had a good cry. I almost walked out there the other day, but didn't want to panic them. I said I thought about carrying a white flag.

You guys don't have clue about PMS unless it's inside your own head.

PST- Cool. Hope it's soon for ya.

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PMS... Haha.

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die!

You sound just like my husband.

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Or like my mum

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I don't speak DEUTSCH!!!

Is a Deutsch oven like a Dutch oven, but with Jews instead of girlfriends?

I'm here all week, folks. Be sure to tip your waitress. Right in the mouth.

What in the hell did we do to deserve that? Paddy! Yer mum's callin' ya!

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I can't even tell if he's failing to be funny or if his insults really are that retarded. Man, that is sad.

TD: Is rape really that common of an event where you're working? The two people I know that have gone to prison both said that rape was virtually non-existent. Its very troubling, as TV gives me all of these great fantasies but then I have people who have been there first hand telling me other wise.

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that's just so wrong.....

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Just read that pills were all over and there were syringes in the room. His wife is pregnant. That really sucks. Toxicology may take 6 weeks. Nothing conclusive from the autopsy. He admitted to being a sporadic user when he ran his Porsche into another car and had pot, coke, and syringes in the car. AND THEY LET HIM OFF CUZ HE DIDN'T HURT ANYONE? (Like that would happen to anyone else? wth!)

His mom had called the hotel and hadn't gotten an answer so the clerk went to his room to check on him and found him slumped in a corner. He said he must have been there awhile because he was purple. Okay, I'm sorry, but it's Slipknot. How fitting was that?
I still feel badly for his family.

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Are we really at RTT#165. Seems like just a year ago we were at RTT#100.

I swear, once you turn 18 there is a fast forward button on life.

So, basically you're confirming what Dyldo said, except they didn't think enough of you to hook you up with free merch? Sweet.

All joking aside, shame on Cephalic. Seriously, how good could your stuff have been that they would willing spend time with you? Blazing with you would be about as much fun as dropping acid in the parking lot of a police station or doing lines in the middle of Yellowstone, except most would rather get Rodney King'd by LA's finest or mauled by Yogi's mean uncle than ever have to talk to you face to face.

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Well, there were two reported cases in the past month. 99% of the cases go unreported though, because obviously nobody wants to admit to getting a dick in the ass, so you'll never really know how often it occurs. But I've heard a lot of people say they can actually hear it going on from time to time, but most people don't want to bust in on something like that. I mean, would you? haha

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Hmmm... are you allowed to take videos on your phone where you work?

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just got back from camping at the sand dunes in Colorado. pics soon to come

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hahahhaha


and no. we can't take cell phones into work. That would immediately get us fired on the spot.

but for you it might be worth the risk


love you joe joe

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Would they let you bring a traditional camcorder? I can get you one with extremely high resolution. You can gather information on sex crimes at the workplace and give Dyldo a long-distance orgasm in one go!

It'd be a firing offense not to do it!

Not sure about that. Personally I like to heat my oven with women or kids but that`s a matter of taste.
w00t w00t I`m near to summer vacation. 1 week I think I`ll spend in the netherlands with some friends of mine. And another week somewhere in the UK. I thought about scotland or north island. Whisky and beer is the main decision point

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Let me guess, you will be digging foxholes on Scheveningen-beach like many of your countrymen do...? It's a shame Germans can't pronounce Scheveningen

When I want to see a beach I can go about 12km in the west from my town. So no fuck that. I`m not sure where we want to go but seriously not to one of this tourist-famous places.
Every country has its own very specific unknown beautiful places where you can get drunk as hell and noone would even notice

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As much as I LOVE (and i can't stress that word enough) giving Dyldo long-distance orgasms (i mean, really, who doesn't?), I just don't think I can work it out involving my job. I guess I'll just have to keep sending him the traditional at-home videos for now.

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And I know just the place! Utrecht!

Seriously, if you're in the neighbourhood, drop me a line. I know the best pubs in town. Like 'Kafe Belgie', they have some 200 different beers on bottle and twenty changing beers from the tap!

Or. Just Amsterdam if you want to get stoned and if you're into fucking ho's! But that's a tourist-famous place, so I guess that's not for you. Eh. What does a North-German beach look like?

Amsterdam sounds actually pretty nice, just cause it`s a beautiful city :P
I`d love to have a few beers in a really good pub there and , holy crap, 200 different beers sound extremely good. I`ll throw Utrecht in the decision-pot. Would also be cool to hang out with you in a pub. Is it expensive there? I mean we are all studets and our budget is quite small.
Ah and just for your interest this is a pic of the beach where I spent several summers
bitch...ehm beach

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That would look awesome if they got the storage containers off the beach.
Hubby said of all the places he went in the Navy Amsterdam was one of his favorites. In fact, Holland in general was one of the best.

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I was thinkin' da same thing!

I want to go to the beach so badly... but not a super public beach. I like beaches where there is nobody around... and I can do whatever the fuck I want with an entire strip of sand to my name!

It's all about renting-out giant beach houses for just a week, because for that week you feel like a rich asshole. Doing anything with a quiet beach nearby makes whatever you're doing better, even when you can't even see it.

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It sounds like you need a new profession, my friend. Your priorities are seriously warped. Thanks for the try though Richy.. it almost worked.

So last night, as I was drifting off into sleepyland, I felt a slight "burning" sensation on the inside of my left testicle and adjacent thigh. I have long nails for guitar and normally scratch myself like a crackhead so I figured I scratched a little too hard this time and irritated the skin. Another 5 minutes go by and it starts to get a little more "burny", so I figure I probably broke some skin. After another 10 minutes or so my dream logic kicks in so I start to make some ridiculous rationalizations as to why its continuing to burn and get worse. Struggling to think of anything other than a huge, gaping, infected spider bite, I convince myself that I must have broken some skin and the fabric of my boxers is irritating the cut, or, maybe, the salt in my sweat (I sweat a lot when I sleep) is what is making it worse. "If I sleep like this, I'm sure it'll go away". It does not. A few minutes later I realize that the burning is at least 3x worse than it was when I first noticed it and that the sensation is spreading down my thigh and across my balls so I immediately snap out of it, shoot up, and turn on the lights. I brace myself and start searching for the culprit, anxiously expecting to see a bleeding tumor. Much to my relief I don't see anything that will require an amputation (which was kind of confusing as something that hurt this much should be noticeable and I started to worry about not being able to see what was doing this) but I do see something that looks like a raised piece of skin that is slightly off color. My first thought is that this is a flap of skin that I tore up from scratching. I touch it. It moved! I then attempt to lift it up and it comes right off. What was it? A fucking pepper seed.

Note to self: stop fucking burritos.

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I think that's one of the funniest things I ever read on here!!! Did ya save it for your eggs in the morning????
omg, that's too funny.

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hahaha Dyldo your posts should win some sort of "worth reading the whole thing" award.

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FUCK YEAH

http://kayak.about.com/Dallas-Hotel...ksp?page=photos

Nice. Are you staying there? I wish my living room looked like that.

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Yeah, I think we will be staying there. We're getting married, but not having a wedding. So we want to enjoy ourselves at the only 5 star hotel in Texas.

Lifting 200 8 foot sheet rocks up a 20 foot flight of stairs if tremendously fun!

Hey now, just because it didn't work out this one time is no reason to throw the baby out with the bathwater!

Though I suppose that if someone would deign to videotape an infinitesimal portion of the prison rape that goes down right beneath his nose you probably wouldn't have to resort to fucking burritos, now would you?

This is bigger news than the death of Gary Coleman.

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yeah, that's thrilling.

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Paddy must be heartbroken due to Gary Coleman's death. There aren't many small celebrity's to kill off before they're all gone. Then you have to resort to the underground midget porn... and you just feel cheap and dirty after that

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Isn't all midget porn pretty much underground anyway? 's so close to it, it might as well be anyway.

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Go to youporn and search for midget then tell me agin it`s an underground thing.

@Dyldo: Fuck man that was hard to read

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That looks like the mansion from the first resident evil.
I would avoid that place dude.

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Well, congratulations! And on getting married, too! I never had big weddings either time. You're just as married spending enormous amounts of money as minimal.

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Silver filigree inlays on the leghold is of limited use to the fox.

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lol wtf?!?

I'm a member of the ogrish forum and stumbled upon this thread while browsing this morning. Clearly the same person (look at the location stated, same as on this forum)

Screencaps taken of relevant posts.

http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/694/30276498.jpg

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I wonder if he ever found out what Willis was talkin' about

Hypocrisy are fucking great live by the way, those fucking vocals... Dude can scream. Hate were pretty impressive as well, I'm gunna have to check out their albums

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I fuck burritos because of your new fangled "self-respect".

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She's gotta be trolling. That's a pretty impressive sentence if she's not.. but I'm not surprised overall. Chicks that are into metal are fucking crazy. Avoid them like the plague.

Funny, the other day I was looking for an old post and I came across a post by Dame apologizing for being away because she had been locked up in Juvenal for torturing little animals and fist-fighting. What has been posted can not be unposted!

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Within a few first posts of being on MT I let everybody know that I thought Randy Rhoads played on Down To Earth

I also made plenty of "HOw FaSsT CAN U plAY??!?" threads.

I also remember that whole "show us your tits, Bia" shit that went down... I made some retarded argument in favor and promptly deleted it the next day (blaming it on being tired or something).

Dyldo, I leave you in charge of finding my most embarrassing posts and posting them here.

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Yo, TD, correct me if I'm wrong, but prisoners are allowed to use the internet at least once during their sentence, yes? So that whole 'will be gone for 12 years without interruption' thing is pretty much bullshit. Which, combined with the 'I'll tease but never say exactly what I'm getting 12 years for' thing, doesn't do much to indicate anything other than that she's probably full of shit.

Of course, being that it's Bia, that might just be her weird version of being coy, and it's all true. Honestly I couldn't care less.

Joe: Every post of yours is equally embarrassing.

If it were true, wouldn't be a matter of public record? If someone knew her name and really wanted to know.

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Don't know her name, don't care to.

lol

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Actually they can go to the library where I believe they have restricted access to the internet. Where it's kinda like a high school, where they try to limit you to educational web sites and stuff like that. They'll block porn, social networking sites, and all that. So you won't be able to look up people to put out hits, stalk girlfriends, etc., but you'll be able to "further your education".

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I'm sure it is, but please check to see if MT is blocked. If it isn't, start bringin' 'em over!

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hahaha, If i get posted in the school one day with someone cool, maybe i'll get the chance to.

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That would be a bad idea. Especially since 31% of your post are about drugs.



We aren't having a wedding though. Just spending what money our family would have given us on a wedding to have one nice day away from where we've spent our entire lives.

yeah they might look down on me for mentioning weed every once in a while.

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Yeah, I got that. I'm just thinking of money saved by not doing all the other stuff. Although I bet your hotel's going to cost more than my weddings and honeymoon! Can you say Travel Lodge in beautiful Cuyahoga Falls? lol
What really matters is the next 70 years.

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Cling clang, cling clong, went the chains, clang cling, clong cling...

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One nice day? Just one? Fucking treat yourselves man, you'll want more than that!

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