Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take-out from heaven.

best fucking joke I've heard all week!

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HAHAHA!
Oh man, that's terrific.

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Thanks man They all seem like cool dudes so it should be fun

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Replace your kick pedal heads with dildos and see what happens. I've always wanted to do that. I bet they give pretty good recoil.

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make sure they are the same size.

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God, I've become addicted to Facebook. Someone kill me. PM me and I'll leave you a name, address, and instructions on how to do it. Just a hint, I'd like to be burned.... alive or dead, it's up to you.

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Poor you get well soon


Whoa dudes there`s this Old-School-Thrash band around here and I want to share their album with the thrashheads on here but I don`t know how. Unfortunetely I can only upload one track after the other on fileupload.com. Anybody can help?

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Put the tracks into a RAR or ZIP archive and upload them to MegaUpload.com

Ayayayaa ok thanks mate! I`ll post in the bands forum

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How does mummified, tied up, then burned alive sound? I've got fifteen rolls of toilet paper, some strong rope and a case of lighter fluid in my basement. I'll bring my camcorder too, as this would make an excellent video for Ogrish

Actually, maybe I could duct tape some Roman Candles to you too, and stuff firecrackers into various orifices? This would make for a great show on Halloween. We could draw up some signs telling trick-or-treaters that there will be a big Halloween event on your street and post them all over your city/town.

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You're a closet event organizer, aren't you? It sounds like you've done this before.

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Well, if you're mummified, you're already tied up, aren't you? Because then the rope is just redundant..... I'm giving you a "0" for the day. Next!

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He ment to take the rope and hang you from a tree. While strangling, you would be set on fire; then an attempt would be made to beat you like a Piñata to out the fire with a stick. If said attempt fails then end game.

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Or just simply follow this instruction : Det Ultimate Selvmord

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Who wants to massage my prostate?

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Who wants to massage my prostate?

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Why don't you two help each other and leave the rest of us alone

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If you're mummified in toilet paper, you're not really tied up, are you? It doesn't take much effort to tear toilet paper

Haha. This would be a much better idea if the stick was a bat with long nails driven through it.

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I knew it! Women my ass...

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haha holy shit. where have I seen that guys face before? is he in somebody's avatar or am I just crazy...

this is a "behind the scenes" sorta thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4koLvQYhwQ&NR=1

oh so he's that guy who did the instrument mixing video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jzqu...feature=channel

LAST EDIT: I finally found the video that I was thinking of when I first saw his face I think: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_Wy...feature=channel

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Joe, I'm starting to think you have a thing for young Norwegian men Haha.

That instrument video is pretty cool.

Completely unrelated:
http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/5330/usairforce.jpg

Edit: Hellraiser pumpkin That's fucking awesome.

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psh that's stupid why would I like Norwegians, let alone men! But if you know any if you could pm me their phone numbers that would be great.



yes i've seen this it maek meh lawlz

This is SO dorky and incredibly funny: Rachmaninov Had Big Hands

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Not incredibly funny but still OK

Man tell me gay or not but I really like this video PENIS . Me and my buddys were singing this song while we were sitting in a grym-forest back in the old-school days. We only had us a few tents and 2 guitars

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I do happen to have Varg Vikernes' phone number.

+47-666-4746 (grim)

I know... that was absurdly lame

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Indeed

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http://www.random-international.com...e_eye_small.jpg

Fuck around, that's just bloody creepy. I hope it isn't real.

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Don`t worry honey I`m sometimes scared of photoshop,too.
You really wanna see something creepy?

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Haha, that is pretty strange.
Here's one for you Gomli. http://www.ajewishdatingsite.com/
Now you can find yourself a nice Yenta
Or if that doesn't work out, go find yourself a nice Muslim girl: http://www.muslima.com/



I'm currently looking for a wife on these two sites:
http://www.womenbehindbars.com/
http://www.lovebitten.net

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Thats got to be bullshit...

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My only concern with that website is that it doesn't tell you what the women were in prison for. I mean, murdering their abusive husbands or renting out their fannies is one thing, but I don't wanna be on the 3rd or 4th date and find out the bitch is a fly-tipper.

I don't know how "politically correct" this is, but when the race options were on-screen I immediately clicked Hispanic, because I knew that's where all the hot ones would be. Judge me not.

This is so weird I could`ve sworn it`s a japanese website

There a quote from this site:

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All of them appear to have enjoyed the essence of Meth.


Gomli don't post information on BassB's mother...

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Don't they have the same thing for men in prison? From what I've heard they get fucking tons of letters from women.

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/fixed



Wouldn`t you write to them? I mean they are dangerous, probably killed people and don`t have any chances to shave their man-b00bs

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First time I've taken a shit in a public restroom in the last 13 years. And my asshole burns like I got tore up on cheap whisky.

What the Fuck?!

damn you've been missing out. pooping in public restrooms can be fun.

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Just don't smear all over the walls like a deranged ape-woman did at the hotel I used to work at. One of those life's lessons learned. I should have absolutely refused to clean that up and told them to have maintenance do it. I would have liked to slapped whoever did it.

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So that explains why I was birthed on a docked Portuguese Naval ship! LOL OH MOM!


And Gomli...blitz is from British Columbia..4500km away.

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Haha yeah. I'm the only West Coaster on here I think. Any of you East Coast fellas ever been over to this side?

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Nope...

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Darko lives in California.

I've visited my uncle out in Cali for a week when I was younger but that's about it for me. A buddy of mine moved out to Utah so i'm hoping to head out there and check out some new places sometime soon.

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Yeah, you're not alone blitz. Both JoeYngVai and I live in Southern California and if I remember correctly, Syncophant and YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD live around here too.

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lawl. I meant West Coast Canada

I probably should have been more specific.

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oh yes we do! I remember things that happened... terrible... terrible things... wanna do terrible things again?

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FUCK NO! It's still stuck I haven't had a shit since our last encounter

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Yesterday?



It`s still in Canada

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How the hell did you know that? Have you been stalking me and Joe?

And yes, we are both from Canada. But do you know how big Canada is?
Out of curiosity I just measured the exact distance from my city to Halifax. 4284 KM / 2662 Miles

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That's actually more than the distance between Boston and LA (2605 miles if measured as a straight line), which surprises me a bit.

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I`M A SAILORS PEG AND I LOST MY LEG!
CLIMBIN UP THA TOP SAIL AND I LOST MY LEEEEEEG!
I`M SHIPPIN UP TO BOSTON WOOOOOHOHOOO

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just for you gomli

Attached Images

1256812023620.jpg (92.2 KB, 39 views)

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suck my pisstube, cunt

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I'm roughly 3,500 miles from the border between the U.S. and Canada. Far enough that a restraining order would be deemed superfluous. The 680 miles separating me from Gomli is another matter.

Handy little tool (NO NOT MY PENIS HAAA):

http://www.freemaptools.com/measure-distance.htm

I got my info from halifax-victoria...where exactly do you live again blitz?

And if you wanna be a dick about it, I live in the city of Dartmouth. My house is about a 10minute drive from DT Halifax. Halifax Harbour separates Halifax and Dartmouth and there is two bridges connecting it. However, we are still considered Halifax because since 1996 several surrounding communities became "Halifax Regional Municipality".

I've been to Vancouver/Victoria/Naniamo to visit family when I was young. First time I smelled marijuana was watching the Canada Day fireworks in Victoria.

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Woohoo. When I have the money to spend I'm moving up to a 30lb barbell.

Anyone here play OMGPOP games?

You're gunna get fucking RIPPED.

Yes Joe, I would like to again. I'll rail anything off your rail.

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You'll shoot yer eye out.

I used play that with Paddy. I think there was a thread about that site or just babbling here.

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I recently started up again. I added you on there, right? Usually I'm playing letterblox.



awwwww I'm flustered

I must say your vitamins made Downtown Disney terrific!

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You know I've never been to Downtown Disney in all my years of living 15 minutes away from it. I've been to the House of Blues there plenty of times but never to the actual park part with the newer rollercoaster or anything.. thats considered part of Downtown, right?

Hey, which one of you was it that has that cute chick you met in Iceland coming to stay with you for two weeks? I forgot who it was.. Oh yeah, it was me! I'M AWESOME!

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haha!!!

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hmm, dont be so butthurt, its funny

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GIVE HER TO ME!

oh and I think only the parts without the rollercoaster are considered downtown.

oh and can I please have her? I'd feed her and pet her and take her for walks every day I swear.

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I'm an only child, so fuck no! Go get your own! It probably won't be that difficult to get a good handful considering their economy (that, and the fact that that country is just DTF). Just offer to take them away from their poverty and taxes and they're yours! You could start a website!

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Dude... we could collaborate and totally make bank on this!

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When this one dies or gets away I might get back to you on that.

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god this is forum is brutal steve the shenanigans arent nearly as funny as i had hoped

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Dear Tranny,

We get it. Its no fun here and you totally understand why you left before.

Boringly,
- MT

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Haha. Man, that's a great song.

The city I'm from is called Prince George, which can be spotted on this map.

Haha, typical B.C.
It's so common here that most people actually consider me strange when I tell them I don't smoke it. It's not unusual here to see people walking down the sidewalk smoking a huge blunt, or sitting at a bus stop bench huffing on a water bong. Is it like that there too?

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Trash fucking metal!!!

Darko where's the chick from?

Also, does anyone here ever just get fucking burned out on life?

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Ah yes, Prince George, right. Not many people smoke openly here..every once in awhile. I don't hang out with a lot of potheads anymore since my law enforcement route, so I'm not aware of their current tactics.

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Haha yeah, that's probably all for the best I'd imagine.

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yep.

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Hahaha! That's awesome, i could never see anything like that happening around here.

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Haha. I used to work with a guy that would go outside on his breaks, sit down on the sidewalk and smoke from his Bart Simpson bong. Occasionally, some of the younger supervisors would come out and trade him a cigarette for a few hoots

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What did I do?

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Haha, fuck dude how long has that poem been in your quote section?

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goddamnit Dystopia what the fuck...

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what did i do?

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Guys, ssshhhhh

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This thread just got really strange...

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Just like my dick over night...Wanna have some pics? I`ll send`em by PM ?

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What you finally woke up with morning wood? It's a sign of puberty nothing strange. Gomli welcome to your teenage years!

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You already sent me a photo of your penis, remember?
http://health.foogle.biz/warts/hpv_male_penis_warts.jpg

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Ah yeah that one......... God why...I`m a monster

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so i think the new Slayer album sucks. Opinions?

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TD, you didn't tell me your new job was in Russia:

http://theync.com/media.php?name=14...-russian-prison

I haven't heard Slayer's new album yet, but I noticed one of the tracks is called "Unit 731". This was a Japanese biological warfare experimentation camp which was in operation during WW2. Worth reading about! The movie "Men Behind the Sun" is a semi-exploitation film which covers the activities that took place there, and it includes - along with the obligatory exploitation flick animal cruelty - an actual autopsy of a 5-year-old boy. Not a bad film, considering. Philosophy of a Knife covers the same story, but it's 4 hours of utter shite.

slavs have no souls, especially Russians.

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you have just offended all the concerned and caring Russians of the world.

and really? the new Slayer albums sucks? They have been on a suck streak for a while now, it's cool that they are still thrashing out though!

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Just listening to Darkthrone's "Soulside Journey." Can't help but think; Why did they switch to Black Metal?

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MOTHER SAYS I'M HANDSOME!

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I've listened to about half of the new Slayer album since my last post, and I have to agree with TD; it's pretty mediocre stuff. The lead sounds like it's being played by a bluffing teenager, and the rhythm sounds like what I imagine Metallica will probably sound like 2 albums from now, including the barely overdriven tone. Not that that makes it bad by default - rest assured the songs are shit, too.

RA RA RA RELIGION!
RA RA RA GOVERNMENT!
RA RA RA BLOOD!
RA RA RA HELL!
RA RA RA BRAINWASHED!
RA RA RA RAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I'm pretty sure they adequately covered this ground 20 years ago, back when they didn't have to dye their grey, molting pubes before showing their Viagra-powered cocks to their fat wives.

My review, by Paddick McMunnin.

gwar = best live act ever.

also, put my down payment on a jackson SL3

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I love you!

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Because it was the thing to do in Norway in the early 90s. Many bands that were a part of the inner circle of Norwegian black metal began as death metal bands and converted into black metal.

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Paddy, have you heard the new Megadeth? If so, is it what you expected?

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thanks haha!

it was that or another 600+ for a sl1

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I want another Jackson BADLY. I love my new DBZ, but still....I would rape a nun for a neck-through RR or a soloist

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Euronymous actually just promised everyone buttsecks if they converted into black metal.

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I haven't heard it, save for a few snippets here and there; I'm not a big fan of the band. Although I understand that they're now fully fledged "enemies of the New World Order", writing songs about FEMA camps and the like! I feel so much safer knowing Dave Mustain is defending us from the Orwellian hoards with his burst-tomato-lookin' ginger man's lips.

I listened to Megadeth when I was about 15 or 16, and I hated them instantly, primarily because of the lyrics. Many of the bands I listen to have silly lyrics, but Megadeth takes the cake. I have since heard Mustain being interviewed and I think I quite possibly despise the man more than this rash I've had on my balls for the past 6 months. Complete arrogance and pigheadedness in every word he says. I think Lars Ulrich was disappointed that Mustain had to leave Metallica, because it meant that he was now left with the job of being the most irritating cunt in the band.

I'm no oil painting, but Mustain's face looks like one of those pencil-drawn caricatures you can get done by those insufferable street artists [example]. In fact, with a face like Mustain's the artist would probably have to go to the other extreme, otherwise he'd just be a straight-forward portraitist.

No offence to Megadeth fans; I'm a miserable, picky cunt when it comes to taste in music

well the sl3's are discontinued. so i MIGHT not be able to get the one i want... but still they are a sweet deal for what you get.

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Especially that semen soaked twat canal Mansley. Fuck John Mansley.

As to the new Slayer, I heard their last album was pretty good but never got around to listening. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like it. I'm more sure that wouldn't like the new one, either.

I do like the new Megadeth, but probably not as much as I liked United Abominations.

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