I used to mess around and write when i was feeling shity or mad ...etc... now i just wanna know if these are worthy of turning into anything......THere not done...infact most are just a collection of groups of thoughts... no where near complete.... any ways...comments are wellcome...
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... Nothing left.. No where to confide...Shatterd truths and Mercyless lies
... Imprisoned....My Sentence...My LIfe
Blood Bath to cleanse the SOul...
Trapped by mindless self COntrol... The Will IS there but means are gone...
belif in False gods.. A testament too my decline...

Pale Skin... Staind by Blood...Death the true meaning of Love...
Purity of thought...All jUdgments lost...
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As i came to grips with death today, i ponderd the last words i heard you say. And thats when i realized i wouldnt be missed.. But i cant force myself to take my own life becaues youve allready done that for me...

Soo just take all your problems and leave me alone...isnt enough youve taken my soul...

I sit alone search for redemtion and all i ever seem to find is more rejection...

Everyword that leaves your lips...Seems soo meaningless....Now why do i force myself to deal with this pain..when i could just end it with a bullet threw my brain....

.......................................................................................... .......................................

Destroying you faith...
My influence is your fate....
Spreading my hate....
Corrupting minds...
and ending lives....

WHEN ALL GODS HAVE FAILED.... ALL GODS HAVE FAILED>>>

Keeping PRAYING to your god that has no ears...Express all your angwish, troubles and fears...Keep PRAYING too your god that has no ears....Watch how you blood mixes with your tears... Watch how my knife slides from ear to ear....

WHEN ALL GODS HAVE FAILED...ALL GODS HAVE FAILED...

The first and third weren't bad but I didn't like the second one because it screamed teen angst. For me that drops it down, but someone else may like it. The descriptive useage in the other 2 were pretty cool though. I don't necessarily agree with them , but I try to crit from the author's view. I feel that's fairest.

expand on the first one.
(this means it's better than the others)

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Yeah i know what you mean...i havent even botherd to expand them... you really have too be in the right mood, right place at the right time too write stuff like that.... soo i ll give it a goo when i get the chance... thanx for your comments....keep them coming.......Keep on Rotting in the Free World

No

Cheers,
xx

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Umm...... the first one is umm.. OK but the third one sucked. Sorry. The third one was ok also I guess. Add to the first one though man it might be ok, but the second one sounded something like umm shit I don't know but something that a gay band like pap roach or something would sing, haha. They are ok though man, good luck! Hail!!!

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