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Old 2003-02-27, 03:04
killingismybiz
Senior Metalhead
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Colorado, U.S.A.
Posts: 277
Poem

It's supposed to express how much I hate it when people come chugging their ass along asking for the answer to some school work problem after I've told "billions" of people around me the answer and/or the answer is a no-brainer. Good, bad, yes, no whatever answer you choose is fine. The poem is written in abcb form, and it's a quatrain??

Leave

There's a vile creature after me,
Two legged idiotic thing plodding near.
If stupidity wasn't so contagious,
I'd see it was you that I fear.


edit: Would it sound better and/or make more sense if I said;
If your stupidity wasn't so contagious,

Last edited by killingismybiz : 2003-02-27 at 13:01.
 
Old 2003-02-28, 03:31
powersofterror's Avatar
powersofterror
I am a tax on the world..
Forum Leader
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: pizza with a shit on it!
Posts: 7,994
i don't think it matters.
contagious i would think would be talking about a whole,
and "your" would kinda be a singled-out object.

well, i think it's a badass, i hope to see it become more than
four lines...i would suggest a new title though...
hierarchical demogogue....whatever, i'm a brown noser for govt. class
__________________
Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx

Last edited by powersofterror : 2003-02-28 at 03:33.
 
Old 2003-03-12, 22:59
MeTalManiac555's Avatar
MeTalManiac555
Supreme Metalhead
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 655
Yeah man I'm with you about that school work shit dude, but yeah man that sounds pretty sweet, and don;t put your leave it as is and add on to it more, put more hate into it then it will sound sweet. Good job man and good luck. Hail!!!
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walk through nature's dwelling
hide from obscure trees listening
winter brings gloom, brings remnants of our shadows
twilight casts spells on those who espouse their fate

ice pricks necks like knives, leaving shards of cadaverous skin
tears spout from eyes, shunned from mankind's den
(Prayer For Cleansing/ "A Dead Soal Born")

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