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Old 2003-02-17, 12:09
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
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"To My Son" -thx 4 the read

I've gotta brag. My kid puts a lot of musical millionaires to shame when he plays. It's just fun but he's mommy's little metalhead although he's into everything. Enjoy. Comments always appreciated.


"To My Son"

You made the strings come alive.
It didn't take too long to do.
Hours, days and nights, obsessed-
Til flight became the only way
And you leapt off the edge.
Faltering unsteady
Til balance was gained.
Familiar nuances in sound.
And magic came.
Boiling arpeggios.
Cantakerous progressions.
Skipping around on hot coals.
Freestyle dance erupting overhead.
Magical sound.
Silence could never drown out-
What my ears have heard you play.

BJH
 
Old 2003-02-17, 21:41
shattrdexistnce
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I thought it was kind of cheesy. The first two lines suck. The rest isn't bad.

How old is your son?
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Old 2003-02-17, 23:24
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L,B'XXX
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Okay, I can see where you're coming from. It could do without the first 2 lines and I think that could be an improvement . Thanks.
He's 19. You may even know him. (cue Twilight Zone music)
 
Old 2003-02-18, 00:12
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what are you, over 40!
that's rare around here, most everyone
here hasn't reached puberty. some can't even spell yet.
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2003-02-18, 00:16
xDarkestHourx
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oh the irony.....or sarcasm, depending on if he meant to do that or not....kids these days

Cheers,
xx
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Old 2003-02-18, 10:22
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L,B'XXX
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Yeah, but only chronologically. And I'm not just into the Beatles and the Animals. And I didn't know Les Paul personally either ! The only genre I don't really get into is country. Currently, as far as metal goes, Vintersorg, Down, and Lacuna Coil aren't bad. We went to see Satriani in concert, and he and daddy have been to Ozfest, Morbid Angel, get the picture ? We rock !!
I've roadied for my kid and furnished a lot of pizza for the crew. And I've played guitar for about 30 years (rather badly), but I love to write. I've done that longer.
And as far as the cheesiness or sarcasm, nah. Well, if getting up in the middle of the night to play and practicing with his band, taking lessons in theory and being totally obsessed and possessed with the instruments is cheesy, then he's the King of Cheese. But it's been worth it. He never does anything half-assed.

Hi honey !!
 
Old 2003-02-18, 19:37
walpurgis
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It sounds like a load of crap to me. I bet your kid only has one arm

It's an interesting way to write about actually playing though, kind of reminds me of Pantera's "God damn Electric" in the sense that the words are based around the playing itself, and describing the music and energy and such that comes with it. Whether he lives up to it or not, I'm sure your son would be happy to read it.
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Fuck Brad and everyone who looks like Brad. From the looks of this picture, I think he's jerking off too much. Keep him away from LouAnne.

I never fucked a 10, but one night I fucked five 2's.

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You really have no dignity. I would rather have sex with my fifty year old father.
 
Old 2003-02-18, 23:03
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Wink

Thanks for the crit. And it's his brother that has one arm cuz he wore the other one out.
 
Old 2003-02-19, 08:53
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LOL, weird stuff


he wore out his 'right' arm, huh?
 
Old 2003-02-19, 23:15
xDarkestHourx
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the reason I said the irony/sarcasm thing was in regards to powersofterror. I could've sworn he spelled something wrong right before his statement about how no one here can spell. It had nothing to do with el poemo (as they say in Mexico)

Cheers,
xx
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Old 2003-02-20, 12:17
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L,B'XXX
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ok, cool.
 
Old 2003-02-20, 13:39
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sounds like the title would be "ode to _______".
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Old 2003-02-21, 00:31
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Quote:
Originally posted by xDarkestHourx
the reason I said the irony/sarcasm thing was in regards to powersofterror. I could've sworn he spelled something wrong right before his statement about how no one here can spell. It had nothing to do with el poemo (as they say in Mexico)

Cheers,
xx


if i ever spell something wrong, it's "tomarrow"

by the way, what DID i spell wrong?
i thought i was always careful about that.
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
 
Old 2003-02-21, 15:22
shattrdexistnce
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Indiana
Posts: 35
Quote:
Well, if getting up in the middle of the night to play and practicing with his band, taking lessons in theory and being totally obsessed and possessed with the instruments is cheesy, then he's the King of Cheese.


I wasn't referring to your son's love for music, your love for your sons music, or your love for your son as being cheesy. That's all pretty cool. I was just referring to the poem itself. It's well written and all, except the first 2 lines. It's just not my style. I couldn't really get into the feel of it. I'm more into darker shit.
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