could you please share this text with us?

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ha well I thought the profile was somewhat entertaining, wolf is just a creature of hate
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Hey, I thought of some miscellaneous shit to say.

I'm told that I am very funny. If you are not laughing within 5 minutes of meeting me, then I am trying to make you laugh and it's possible I'm having a shitty day.
I'm pretty into music; always trying to meet new people to jam with.

So for those of you who haven't heard of me, I'm actually a very well known underground celebrity in Medford, Oregon, where my friends made a martial arts style up for me called "Jon-Jitsu," with such deadly techniques as "Taking the 5 Senses" and "Double punch."

For those that don't know Meddy: if Bakersfield were the armpit of California, than Medford is the vagina of Oregon, and Ashland is the asshole.

I'm famous for coining the phrase, "Moke Wee?" while AOL Instant Messaging to my friend Trevor, who told his friends that I used the phrase, "Moke wee?" to safely investigate if someone smokes weed or not. Practically overnight, Trevor's friends made t-shirts that said: "Moke Wee?" without even telling me. The 'Moke Wee? term was printed with solid black text on a plain white t-shirt. It was the gayest thing I ever saw those kids do.

You think those stories suck? I was also shot in the eye from a BB gun at the hands of somebody who I used to consider a friend. This incident led to 3 eye surgeries in my right eye.
On the 2nd surgery, my lens was removed (all murky with blood) and replaced with an artificial one. So in other words, the eye lens that was given to me by birth in my right eye has been replaced with one that was made in a lab.
The 3rd eye surgery was a repositioning, because I was hit hard in the eye, which moved the artificial lens out, at an angle, of the iris, which was containing it. So yeah, if you don't know, I have to protect my eye very carefully, which basically ruins my dreams of becoming a cage-fighter...

The muscles in the eye that would normally dilate my eye (so that light doesn't just torch your inner eye) well the muscles that I have for that eye are traumatized and damaged to the point of no recovery. My right eye CANNOT dilate, meaning I always have to wear shades outdoors.

Wanna know anything else? Ask, fuckers!

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actually, that was pretty entertaining. the eye thing is quite interesting.

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wow, 1 post on here in like the past 8 hours.

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The eye part fuckin' sucks (Pretty brutal though, huh?). I wrote that cuz I always end up explaining the shit to everyone I meet.

The Jon-Jistu stuff was just supposed to be funny, and if you saw those moves that were made up then anyone who still didn't get it was a joke would pass a test that would declare them mentally retarded. wolfsherz has no humor, and only listens to black metal, so he's full of hate. But that's okay, he's European!

Also, yes, I take full responsibility for the pics being shit, and then shift the blame to my piece of shit camera (which btw, my niece took my mom's nicer camera and used it to take the pics of me outside. Funny story: I was taking those pics cuz I girl wanted to know what I looked like having had a hair cut. She told me she hates mullets after she saw 'em. She's a bitch anyway.).

Maybe I can take my mom's awesome camera and take a picture of it to show you guys how shitty it is. Or... *looks for link*

http://www.maplin.co.uk/images/Full/a83cy.jpg
that one. Quality is terrible. Flash is weak. And its dark down here.

Let's see your myspace wolfsherz!

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Lulz!

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I have an account on youtube as well, so that I can leave comments. But that's not all!

My account name is: smokelotsofweed420

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I also got an YT account...but myspace I hate all this goddamn wannabe-metal-emo-metalcore-assfuck-faggot-whores on there

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Yeah, but there's also chicks on there.

And occasionally I can meet a metalhead every once in a while to jam with.

It's also a HELL of a lot easier than standard email. And the pics aint bad either.

Pics are only bad the same way pot is: When abused by stupid ass emo hardcore bitche faggot whores.

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damn, dystopia, you really do moke lots of wee don't you.

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Either that or he's trying to be funny in an ironic, exaggerated way. If so, it's funny. If not, it's about 1.2 billion times funnier.

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Exactly

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lolz tru

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Hmmmm, must have read it in the wrong mindset then.

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haha, you're just an angry person. admit it.

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Actually yes, I do sacrifice my opportunity for having a reputation as a serious badass whose always serious and never 'jokes around' just to make people laugh. It probably costs me a hell of a lotta lays too.

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The new Dying Fetus album is fucking incredible

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Dying Fetus is awesome, but I can't stand the singers voice. They should let the guitarist do all the vocals His voice is much better IMO.

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Ordered mine today (21st Sep.) with "Oracles" of a band called Fleshgod Apocalypse. If you like Dying Fetus and Necrophagist or Origin you will like them too! *sweepsweepsweepsweep*

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I love Fleshgod Apocalypse. I posted a thread on them a while ago. Fucking awesome band.

Blitz, the guitarist (john) and the bassist (sean) both do vocals. John does the deep gutterals and Sean does the more mid-range raspy growls.

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I just can`t fuckin believe that FGA played a show near me and I wasn`t there. I could fuckin blast my head off.

Haven`t known that there are two vocalist but when I`m listen now I can hear the difference. A shame I haven`t noticed that before Friday I get the album. Just heared a few tracks on YT and god they are really badass

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hey all

sat i had my tutorial in belfast went well & i have two more booked in before my exam *hides*

i have a tutorial on sat for my dyscalculia (at home) i have an assignment due at end of month, my exam is early oct plus working full time & my head hurts!!! *sigh*

but will get a chance to be about during study breaks etc.

laters,

bunny xxx

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Being funny (under most circumstances) should definitely get you laid more often than being a badass.

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depends what kind of funny you are. If it's a smart, confident humor then yeah, but if it's immature slap-stick/poo-poo jokes, then no

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Now he tells me

that's okay paddy, little kids love the immature slap-stick/poo-poo jokes, so you're still good dude

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I just logged in today for the first time in a while and all the forums aren't filled with free viagra ads. I guess I'm gonna start wasting my days on here again...

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paddy bought all the spam out

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I'm sure there will come a time when this reputation I've earned for myself will be a source of personal regret. But until then...!

TD, has your arm healed up completely yet? And have you had any more bone-crunching, retina-detaching bar-room brawls? I wish I could be a fly on the wall in the lives of some of the members here, primarily for reasons of engorged erectile tissue, but also for the sheer spectacle of it. Oh, and also because my telly's broke.

yeah, they don't have the guy who just sings anymore. So blitz should dig the new stuff

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wait girls don't like poopoo jokeesss?!?!?! FUCKFUcKFUCK

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Arm is about 85% back to normal. But sadly no more brawls, but i should be starting my prison guard job in the next few months (hopefully starting at the training academy next month for 5 weeks then to the prison) so I'm sure i'll have a ton of stories comin your way

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Shit, I forgot all about your new career!! Do you have any idea about what sort of things they'll be teaching you? Cavity searches and restraining procedures the like? How about weaponry? Stun guns? I hope it's not like cop training where they zap you with the taser while you're holding a weapon to try and teach you not to pull the trigger by accident haha. Shit, BassBehemoth will probably have to go through that! Do Canadian cops even carry firearms?

Man, that's a lotta question marks.

Anyway, glad to hear your arm is recovering. How long do you expect it will take to get back to normal?

we do get weapons training, even though we can't have weapons in the prison. I also get gassed like they do in the military. I'm not sure if i get shocked or not. I know when you get trained to use the electric shield, they make you get hit by it before you're certified to use it, but i'm not sure if it's mandatory to learn to use it or it's optional. They teach you basic defense tactics as well. I'm really not sure what else to expect other than that.

oh, and about the arm, i'm not sure how long it'll take. I thought it'd be better by now to be honest with you, but i am noticing progress so i can't complain too much.

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fuck, the gas chamber looks gay. i'll have to do it eventually. oh yeah and prepare to have piss and cum thrown at you haha

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oh i'm prepared for the shit/cum/piss cocktails haha. It's just one of those things you have to deal with for having a job where 95% of the time you don't do anything haha. Why will you have to do the gas chamber, are you going into the military?

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So anyways I missed that episode of "Metaltab Posts by the Main Character Whores" but what's wrong with your arm did you get locked in an armbar or something in a bar-fight?

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nah, broke it armwrestling and had to have surgery and a metal plate and 10 screws put in. there's a thread with pictures somewhere on this forum.

found it... http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthre...hlight=injuries

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lol, still seems like it would be interesting anyway

yeah, planning on contracting into army so I can get a commission later, or just enlist. sounds cliche but I want to stay away from a job that requires going to meetings and answering emails after college, and that pretty much happens with most majors

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mmmmmmm.....

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The IRA call that the Irish Coffee, and they force all new members to swill a glassful as an initiation ritual. Or was that just in my dreams?

I didn't realise you broke your arm in an arm wrestle! I thought it happened during a weightlifting session gone wrong. Was there a wager on the event?

nah, i was just fuckin around with my buddy. doctor said i pushed so hard that i snapped my own arm. It's fucked up cause i used to arm wrestle all the time without a problem.. then that happened. Oh well. at least i got an awesome scar out of it

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Yeah i hear ya there. That's why i dropped out of school. I couldn't picture myself doing any of the majors as a career for the rest of my life, and the only ones that interested me, like psychology or something in medicine, take waaay too much schooling. I have no desire to be in school for 8-10 years.

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evening everyone

how are we all tonight??

i'm fucking shattered had a really bad day with the fucking computer wouldn't work for me!! *sigh* kept saying i didn't have access to use a program so phone support several fucking phone calls later & remote access problem solved. then went to print & said error message then kicked me outa system!! but of course when it does that you're still logged in!! anyway gonna relax for a wee while before studying.

i need more caffeine!!

bunny xxx

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Holy fuck, how is that even possible? haha Did you not feel severe pain leading up to the snap?

Something tells me there are no unscrewed pickle jars in the TD household.

BUNNY!!!! My furry little friend

Are you using Windows Vista? If it's saying you don't have access it's most likely the User Account Control thing blocking you. The error message should say that. If it is that, you can easily disable it:

Start > Run... (or just type into the search box) > msconfig > Tools tab > Disable UAC > Launch > Reboot

If it's not that can you take a screenshot of the error and post it?

How much is left of your course? Do you have any plans for what you're gonna do afterwards?

rofl!!!

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Ahhh you were too quick for me, I edited my post ^^

hey paddy

it was silly software at work just means i can't do part of my work shame really!! lol

my course ends on 13th oct with an exam!! *hides* & yeah next year i'm doing java already signed up for it.

so from 14th oct to mid-late feb next year i can do fuck all!! yeah will have free time to fuck about online and/or play games

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So, you'll have plenty of time to leave your gay boyfriend and find a real man? A real man with his own key to his mum's house? And with his own bedroom and PC? Hmmm, I'm not even sure that such a man exists, it's almost as if he'd be too perfect...oh no, wait...I think I know someone who fits that description EXACTLY.

Bunny, you lucky lucky girl.

lol paddy bf def not gay trust me on this rofl!!

& lol ta paddy, want me to share that with bf?? that you said i was lucky?? lol

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You know, the more we talk, bunny, the more convinced I am that you don't actually want to have sexitimes with me. But...that can't be right, can it??

Haha. There was actually no pain leading up to it at all. I was actually laughing because i was winning and he couldn't budge my arm. Then it just suddenly snapped. Spiral fracture of the humerus.

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Word. If there's one thing I'm going to make sure of after I have my degree, it is staying away from administration. I've trained to invent, design and build things and FUCK anyone who thinks I should organize the work force.



Lay off Irishman, she's not even below average height. And anyway, it's not like even midgets actually appreciate watching TV with a guy's mom, look at his hot computer and say "wow" and then get sodomized in more holes than they ever knew they had.

And fuckall, the vent above my stove just quit. My appartment is full of salmon tinted thick bloody smoke.
Then again, that should mean the entire hallway is as well, so at least there's something good out of it.

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thanks amadeus!! & yeah i'm 5ft 8 in my barefeet

& *hugs* hope everything okay with the smoke & stuff

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Isn't that a Cannibal Corpse album?

Do you think you'll be arm wrestling again when you're all healed up? haha

My mother's flapjacks are the tastiest in 6 counties, and if bunny doesn't want to slobber over them as I do then that's her loss.

Nice pre-emption!

The trick to a good smokeless burn is to let the victim starve all of her fat off before you chuck her in the oven

Doesn't count if you're standing on a stack of telephone directories, or in your case the still-twitching bodies of freshly aborted children.

I don't think I've ever gotten a textual hug from you, and I've been nothing but nice and sensual towards you from day one! Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. LEAVE HIM, already!

not standing on anything paddy so there!!

& yuck to flapjacks!!!

& i think if i gave you a hug you'd be scared mate!!

& why would i leave my bf???

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you have a better chance of seeing Christ at a Deicide show than for me to ever even consider arm wrestling again

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Haha! I'm sure the inmates will give you enough opportunities to test your strength anyway

Like that guy?
Jeeeesus

Fuck my way to my school got 2km longer today. Every day 18km for both ways. I`m fucking annoyed

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I'm sure. You should see the size of those dudes. Some of them are like 6'6 300lbs of solid muscle. they look like the dude from the Green Mile haha

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*hugs td* am sure you'll be okay

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Thanks Bunny. I'll be fine. I'm not scared to get beat up every once in a while if i have to. To me it sounds like the perfect job.. 95% of the time you stand around and bullshit with people, then once in while you fight some people. What's better than that?

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erm not fighting!! but then again td i'm just a weak girly

right am off to do a bit of studying,

laters,

bunny xxx

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Hiiii Bunneh
Yeah have a good learning session

laters,

XxX Gomli XxX


Fuck I just got bitten or stabbed (ya I know what that means) by a goddamn Mosqiuto

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but Bunny, you're irish! You should want to brawl every once in a while! Ask paddy, he fist fights himself all the time.


on a side note, this posting every 120 seconds instead of 30 is a bit inconvenient, but if it keeps the spam away, i guess it's worth it.

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/fixed

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you're right. good catch on the typo

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Haha, yes they do. They carry a sidearm, a taser, and they also keep a 12 gauge shotgun in the car.

Edit: Found a photo of the sidearms they carry.
http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/3020/rcmp5946wd1.jpg

My fathers friend was a corrections officer (he has moved up to warden since then) But he had to get peppersprayed when he did his training, do you have to do that Truth?

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I don't like fighting, I'm allergic to blunt force trauma. It makes me all dented and swollen.

/fixed

Shit, I didn't think Canadian cops had any hardware on them. British cops don't (well, they've recently been given tasers). Northern Irish cops used to have revolvers, but that's about it. I guess being neighbours with the U.S. would make anyone want to be armed. OOOOOO SATIRE!

How's tricks, Blitz? Haven't had a natter with ya in ages.

ta gomli *hugs*

& lol td last time i was in a fight was fuckin years ago & i managed to fracture a guy's jaw!! he asked for it though he was being a real creep & the bouncers wouldn't do anything about it so i hit him, next night went back & was told that i fractured his jaw *shrug* my left hand is my dominated hand when fighting if that means anything??

but na i've kinda grown up now (a bit) don't fisty fight anymore, wrecks my hands lol

done a bit of studying, research urgh!! hate doing research, anyway am off to play on the ps3 for a bit,

should be around laters,

bunny xxx

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You are a genuinely terrifying woman...and I'd very much like to be injured by you. In the balls, with your left hand.

I doubt the pepperspay, cause that just seems pointlesss since nobody uses them in a jail. The gas is the only thing i know for sure we get. But if we get gassed, shocked AND peppersprayed then it seems more like hazing than it does training haha

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That sounds like a fun night in Belfast to me. I tossed hot pepper sauce in an old boyfriend's face once cuz he was a darn lunatic. That's a mess to clean off painted walls so I don't recommend it.

Nobody sent me a "good luck with your colonoscopy" card. I'm so hurt.

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It's strange to me that they train you guys in this way. Presumably they inflict these things on you so you know how they feel and what the experience is like, but if that's the case they should also put a bullet in your kneecap and bludgeon the back of your head with a truncation and stamp out your teeth with steel toe-cap boots haha.

I was going to send one rolled into a cylinder and coated with Vaseline, but I couldn't get the ink to stop running, so I just had a wank instead. Out of respect for your colon, of course

Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better. Thank you for caring.

*thinks* I wonder what Paddy will do for hubby's thoracic fistula?

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I'll probably just send some chicken soup.

That would probably be best since he's an angry German guy.

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Haha

I'm pretty good. I haven't been on MetalTabs much lately as I have been spending most of my PC time playing Zombie Panic Source Best HL2 mod I've ever played hands down. How have you been lately?

Haha. They use pepperspray and tasers in the prison here, and they do keep real firearms and riot gear locked away just in case some really big shit goes down.

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They use taser shields here, like for cell extraction when someone is being an ass. I've never heard of pepper spay being used for anything i know you don't get to carry any. the only thing we carry is a radio and a whistle

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So you don't get to carry anything for self-defense?

Haha I also forgot to mention that they hand out free condoms to each cell every day in the prison here. They don't want people spreading STD's around.

And you must eat your fruit in the designated eating area, you aren't allowed to bring it back to your cell anymore ever since some guy was caught selling alcohol that he had been making under his bed with leftover fruit

I've been told some pretty nasty stories too, like about ten years ago when this one guy somehow managed to get hold of a steak knife... he was pissed off at some other guy for some reason, so he cornered him, held him down and cut half his fucking face off

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What exactly are you doing? I'm majoring in Construction Management right now and having more and more doubts if its for me.

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Cheers to the moderator that got ride of all those spam threads.

Weather here has sucked too much lately..can't be riding in this rain.


There were a few shows coming up in the area but I won't be here..we'll be out at sea. Another thing I'll be missing is Evil Dead: the musical. Anyone know anything about that? Sounds pretty interesting.

It all depends on police force..Halifax police carry Sig Sauer p226 9mm(with hollow-tip bullets), and I'm pretty sure most RCMP units have glocks.

Halifax Regional Police have these in pretty much all of their squad cars as well.

http://www.rkba.org/guns/principles/images/p90.jpg

No idea why they need friggn P90's in their normal squad cars...but pretty bad ass nonetheless.

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l...discoverhrp.jpg

Right, third row at the end...this was in June from a week-long police intro 'camp'. I'm now a volunteer for them..I drive around in an unmarked car with a police radio looking for/witnessing crime.


Robocop jokes commence.

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Holy mother of Jesus these guys mean business! I thought hollow-points were illegal, or is it only illegal to have them if you're a civilian? Or have I been grossly misinformed? haha

EDIT: Maybe I'm thinking of dum-dums (the ones with an X carved into the tip).

Good Christ! You could bring down a herd of fucking elephants with that thing! Do they really need that much firepower? Or do they keep it as a 'just in case' precautionary kind of thing?

Would it differ from province to province? I remember when an officer spoke at our high school at some kind of assembly, and inevitably some kid asked him about what kind of firearms they carry. He mentioned the glock, and said that they also keep a 12 gauge tactical shotgun in the car. This was about seven years ago though, so things may have changed since then?

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Sorry chief, just noticed this post there now!

HL2 is the dog's proverbials, and the modding capabilities make it infinitely more enjoyable. I've been playing HL2 with SMOD Redux recently, I mentioned it in the PC games thread. The single player campaign, when being hacked to bits via console commands, kept me sane for a good 6 or 7 months in 2007. The mark of a truly great game! I must give Zombie Panic a try (I'm hoping it's not a multiplayer-only mod).

Things with me aren't too bad, just starting to emerge from a lurker mode rut myself haha. Heading to hospital later for a post-operation check up, and decided to do an all-nighter rather than try and wake my ass up in the morning. Other than that, absolutely fuck-all is going on in sunny N. Ireland!

I see cops coming and going around my street on a bi-weekly basis, and they're obviously not regular cops because they're carrying MP5s and have slightly different uniforms and vehicles. It's strange to see, even in this shithole of an estate. I can't figure out why they keep appearing, because the house(s) they go to are populated by troglodytes who couldn't possibly pose a threat worthy of sub-machine guns!

I remember when British troops would patrol this place when I was a kid, one of them let me look down the scope of his SLR. Fuckin' thing weighed a tonne even with him holding the back-end of it. Shit, I just remembered something...new paragraph!

When I was a kid visiting my grandmother in Belfast I went to the corner shop at the top of the street to get some awesome candy, and on my way back there were soldiers squatting for cover along my grandmother's fence. One of them called me over, and asked if I would go to the shop for him and get him a few things. I was like "umm...ok". He saw the confusion in my face and explained that most shop keepers in Catholic areas wouldn't serve British troops. He was just about to hand me the money when my aunt came out and called me in (she had saw me point to myself out the window, as if to say "Me?" when the soldier called me over haha). Strange days. I also remember being in another part of Belfast and having a land-rover drive by me, slow down and the gunman on the roof cock his weapon and point it at me with a look on his face that didn't seem to say "just messing with ya, kid!" haha. I was about 7-years-old, and thought he was gonna clip me, and froze with my back against the wall. I'd heard stories of kids my age getting shot (accidentally or not, I don't know) so I was pretty shook up.

I also remember being on a bus and it would be stopped every 400 yards or so and British troops coming on and searching under the seats for weapons. I think it's safe to say that this place was a police state for the duration of the troubles - road blocks, checkpoints, having to carry papers, being subjected to searches, warrantless arrests, etc. Thank fuck that's over with! The dismantling of the military presence here caused some people I know to get upset, because their jobs in the army barracks were about to disappear (not just soldiers, but civilian workers, too). So, presumably they'd be happier if people were still clipping each other and the army had to stick around haha. Weird.

My new roommate majoring is Construction Management, too... I don't have much to say about the subject because he actually doesn't speak much.

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When you guys talk about "construction management" I get a certain image in my mind. An image consisting of fat, greasy Italian-Americans sitting around a construction site talkin' about bustin' heads and runnin' numbers. And for that I salute you.

evening all

am shattered as usual and am debating whether to take tonight off from studying or not,

in the meantime here is a clicky i wanted to share with you all i found it funny so fuck off if you didn't!! get a sense of humour!! lol

stupid computer at work still doesn't like me *sigh* will phone support in morning again!!

anyway will be lurking,

bunny xxx

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Man I thought it would be like that also. Its not and I'm quite sad. Its about being a lawyer, writing ten page papers, sucking dick, protecting the environment, and learning how to be bossed around by women on a mans job.

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i've decided since am so sleepy gonna take tonight off study so will be lurking

aren't you a lucky lot?? lol

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Haha the link was a pleasant read. It reminds me of something I read about atheism. Someone was accusing atheists of having their own "religion", to which someone replied that saying "atheism is a religion" is no different from saying "not collecting stamps is a hobby."

Shit, I think a mafia-run racket actually sounds like the healthier option here!

for once i agree with paddy!!

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I like number 25 of this site.

FUCK! My brother`s coming home in 20mins!!! Off to wank one quick

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lol glad you like it gomli

& too much info for my delicate bunny ears!!

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Yeah sorry about the 2o mins.I meant 3

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is your bro older or younger than you gomli??

& i just made a yummy marinade for my veggies - they are erm marinading as we speak will do my evening meal tomorrow & am gonna thicken up some of the marinade & use as a sauce

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Actually I got 2 bros. One 25 year old and one 18 year old. The Oldest of us is......can I say handicapped? I mean he`s blind and authistic(? dunno if it`s right or not ?)
Do you make your marinade with balsamico? We always put our lamb filet in it

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yeah i know what you mean & okay

i got one older bro right pain in the ass he can be!!!

no my marinade is orange & spicy v yummy i'm a veggie

& i can thicken some of the marinade to make a sauce

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This turkey sandwich is awesome. Turkey, mayo and cheese. only thing it's missing is a hint of creole seasoning

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