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2009-06-24, 15:02
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England
Posts: 342
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Animal Dream (Lyrics and stream of song)
I've been on a bit of a creative streak these past few days and this is probably the song I'm most proud of. The lyrics are below and a link to the actual song on Myspace. Any feedback is much appreciated.
www.myspace.com/severedspirit6
Animal Dream
I'm walking down,
To the forest.
I can't be late,
All my friends are waiting.
The lion, goat and bear,
Are calling me over.
We are an army,
We are ready to fly.
Push the tree.
We climb aboard,
A seat upon the bark.
The night air is cold,
The moon is in our eyes.
This is a secret land,
A magic encounter.
We are an army,
we are already flying.
Push the tree.
__________________
www.myspace.com/severedspirit6
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2009-06-25, 15:01
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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When I read the lyric it didn't do much for me, but with the music I liked it much better. I wasn't sure what kind to expect. For some reason the drums just didn't seem in sync to me. Maybe it's just my speakers.
Anyways, this seems like it should be part of a series of songs. Any chance of that?
Btw, I listened to several of your other pieces and really like them. They're definitely trippy and you have a very nice voice for that style.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2009-06-28, 20:36
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England
Posts: 342
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Hey thanks a lot for listening to my music!
My approach to lyrics these days is to just go for it and not hold back or criticize what I've written too much. I also tend to be a lot more literal now in what I write.
I found myself getting too swamped in trying to write songs nobody but me could understand!
This one is about a dream I had when I was very young where me and a big group of human-animals pushed a tree over, sat on it and flew over a forest.
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www.myspace.com/severedspirit6
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2009-06-28, 22:09
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Quantum.
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,149
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That's the spirit. Don't try to be artistic when writing, generally that'll just land you with a pompous piece of shit.
It works nicely with that music. Like Tripple-X says, trippy.
As for the lyrics themselves they are the way I like it - gets what needs to be said said, enough to trigger the imagination with the music added but doesn't try to impress anyone with a lot of pictures and metaphors or other crap to that general effect.
Nice work!
__________________
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal
"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan
"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
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2009-06-29, 13:57
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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Great story behind the song! I love to hear those. That explains the simplicity of the lyric and gives it a lot more life to me.
Write on!
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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