"Paddy's Pooh Yumyums"

There's a new little treat in a little foil wrapper
That's made from stuff you'd find in a crapper
It's the color of choclate with white chocolate bits
Like corn which doesn't digest one bit

Its not real pleasant so please don't sniff
It'll send you into shock and make your bones all stiff
If you try to take a bite it'll bite you back
Make you feel like you took a brick to the sack

(Chorus)
Paddy's Pooh Yumyums, don't try them today
Paddy's Pooh Yumyums, add to tooth decay
They'll make your innards rot like a corpse in the heat
On the scalding, hot surface of an asphalt street

Paddy's Pooh Yumyums, not fit for Easter baskets
Paddy's Pooh Yumyums, might put you in caskets
He passes them to midgets cuz he really doesn't care
If they make Paddy's Pooh Yumyums in their underwear

If you like your life and you don't want to lose it
If he offers you some, don't be scared, just refuse it
He'll find some other schmuck right around the bend
And make them feel they got a deal in the end

It's a fact that their end will be what's hurtin'
And they can't warn their friends, of that I am certain
That would mean admitting that they had tried a piece
They'd be shunned from north and south, west to east

(Chorus)
Paddy's Pooh Yumyums, don't try them today
Paddy's Pooh Yumyums, add to tooth decay
They'll make your innards rot like a corpse in the heat
On the scalding, hot surface of an asphalt street

Paddy's Pooh Yumyums, not fit for Easter baskets
Paddy's Pooh Yumyums, might put you in caskets
He passes them to midgets cuz he really doesn't care
If they make Paddy's Pooh Yumyums in their underwear

BJH
5/5/2009

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that was...beautiful! It makes me think back to my first pooh yummy yumyum yumtimes which I produced from my meaty chocolate picnic hamper after I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in Yumington Castle, Yumford. I scooped it up, licked it, and thought "this would go well with red wine and midgets", and an empire was born. Still-born, but born nonetheless.

You're a literary genius, and I'm honoured to have been featured in such a masterful work of pooh-related artytimes.

I'm still suffering nervous twitches from thinking that you were my muse. And I wrote about feces. What is wrong with me?

I'm glad you liked it. It took some thought and piecing together, but I think it's the shit.

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I don't know what's up with you either, but what the hell.

You want to hear something fun? We just practiced "We will rock you" with the choir, and then I had a look at this...
Go on, try it. The first two lines of the chorus "Paaaddys po-oh JUM JUMS", squeeze and bend a little with the verses to approximatly fit "You're a young man hard man" and so on, improvise the rest along those general lines. This is cool!

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Oh no! You're right. Good observation.

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Great stuff. I am not comment on the specifics simply because it was funny. Although, the rhyme in lines 3-4, 1st verse. Hmmm.

Never mind. Great stuff.

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Ouch! I didn't notice that. I don't think I'll bother changing it though. Good observation and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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