You wish!

Alright, alright. At long last, here's a pic of me. It's not a recent one, but it'll do. It was taken when I was on my way home from feeding starving children and building hospitals:

http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/3083/paddyi.png

Be nice, I'm not the most confident person in the world when it comes to my looks. I've been told that I resemble George Clooney in his younger day, but I don't see it. Whatever!

You do! *fans face* Yowza!

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You like like the guy from the Goonies.

He fucked my mum in 1982.

Haha! He does too!
http://winnandtonic.files.wordpress..._sloth_1024.jpg

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omg too funny. And I was all set to have that picture framed. and sent to the customs agents.

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The sad thing is, I used to go to school with a guy who didn't look much different from my drawing. We used to shit on his face and piss on his lunch, and then make him eat the shit and pissy sandwiches, and we'd call him spunk-breath and fatty mother.

AHHH FUCK IT WAS ME! THE SHITTY BOY WAS ME! I didn't wanna eat the pooh-yummies but they made me!

I think I've been infected with the Swine Flu.

Sorry about that, I shouldn't have swallowed all of that pig spunk before I threw up on your cock

I thought you just had PMS. Why do you think you have swine flu? Are you growing a cute little curly tail? I hope you feel better if you're ailing. Stock up on the soup, hand sanitizer, soap, and tp.

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I probably don't but, everyone in our house is sick and suffering from minute but similar symptons. I've shit like 5 times in the last 2 days.

i couldn't be bothered studying i feel all bleagh!

you know ages ago paddy you asked if i had any other photos? a few years ago i was out with friends for a hen party & bf didn't see pics of me in outfit so am gonna wear said outfit so he can see what i looked like & have asked him to take a photo so i can show other friends

but seeing as it wouldn't compare to lb's lingerie piccy maybe not?? na silly idea that, ignore me lol

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You MUST share your racy pics. I've got half a chub and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let go to waste.

lol paddy & chubb? wtf you doing with locks & shit??? erm maybe i don't wanna know lol

& if you interested we were wearing st trinian's outfits lol short skirts def shows off the inkwork on my legs lol

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Will you sit on my face and wriggle around a bit?

I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from. Oh wait, yes I do: my massive erection is picking up obscene radio waves and relaying them into my dirty, filthy boy's brain wherein they germinate into a fully fledged sex offender's waking nightmare.

Just for the record and any future character references I may require from you: I don't really mean any of the horrible things I say.

paddy, in a word NO!!!

get one of your midgets to do that for you!! *sigh* you know what maybe mentioning that was a *big* mistake...

(the photo)

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip0vQnkkiVM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hEJ...feature=related

TEH LULZ!

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Ahhhh you know I don't really mean it! Besides, you're not my type. For a start you don't seem like the type of girl who's into massaging metal filings into an exposed glans penis wound. Wait, what am I talking about?? Of course you fucking are! You wrote the scrapbook on cock torture, complete with meat-pictures snipped from your boyfriend's back-fat.

GOD you're sick!

The first one was hilarious, but the second was just profoundly depressing on so many levels. It was like a cruel freak show, except with less dignity. Not to mention the clearly unfair match-up of the two midget fighters - the smallest one has literally zero reach. At least give him a stick or something!

yes i do!!

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Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

paddy do you fancy me getting "the boys" around to yours??? lol

(only j/king....sorta)

i do NOT like being mis-quoted!!!!

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Fine by me

Don't let me keep ya!

*ignores paddy*

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haha I don't know why that second video made me think of these, but notice the resemblance in technique?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJVGmYvu4x8

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If you want me off your case you can send me to sleep for 3 months by extracting a lump of semen from me via the lost art of sexitimes

Hahaha I see the similarity. I also saw the similarity when I found a partially aborted baby with no arms and legs, and it was trying to escape from a puddle like a fish. I did the right thing, and stamped it to death. Sounds horrible, but think about it: if I had let it live it'd just end up on a talk show doing battle with a robot monkey for the amusement of slack-jawed retards.

GO JERRY, GO JERRY!

http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahs...coupon-download

Apparently Oprah bought you some chicken from KFC if you print out this coupon today. I don't have my damn printer hooked up..I'm screwed!

This is her community service for her crimes against food.

Fuck, it's a U.S.-only offer. Irish people need chicken too, ya fat cunt!

Yea, I don't even think those hosers up North can get in on this one. I can't find a coupon to just save and email somewhere with a printer.

Where have you guys been? That's a scam. Probably on snopes if you check. It's not real. That was in the paper awhile ago.

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Seriously? hah No idea...guess I should've known since I found about it on 4chan.

This cough is killing me.

It doesn't seem to be fake. I went to Oprah's main website and searched for "KFC" and the coupon offer appeared in the results. Plus the link xgrafcorex supplied is hosted on www.oprah.com.

Not that it makes a difference to me

I'll be darned. They had that in the celebrity section of the paper that it was a scam. I bet the competition did that!

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I would like to eat some fried chicken but all my friends would shun me and call me deregatory terms


ahh fuck it I'll just get some when im in a town that isn't as white as this one.

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This is what the scam was involving her. http://news.webindia123.com/news/Ar...09/1221693.html

That's a problem there? Heck, everybody has KFC or Mr.Chicken here. Go for it.

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nah its just a joke. my friends dont like chicken for some odd reason.

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I just had a horrible shart. Cleaned my undies in the bathtub.

Did you sanitize the tub afterwards? Get a bucket, dude! I don't think you'd want to bathe in the toilet.

Get ya some Imodium AD if you're able to take that. It's for diarrhea. And make sure you're getting fluids. Hubby took me to the ER and I was almost hospitalized once when I had horrible flu-like symptoms and had to get 3 drip IV's of saline and 1 of antibiotics because I was so dehydrated. Even if it's just ice chips, try to keep your fluid intake up. If you have to resort to it they make all sorts of medical helps in suppository form. Just don't get them from Paddy.

haha Not necessarily to be gross, but I was so cleaned out my bowels didn't work for a week. No kidding. And I never lost a darn pound either. Go figure.

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Well, this just crapped in my oatmeal. RIP Dom. You're a great guy. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090505...us_obit_deluise

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the concept of a shart is still funny, even since middle school it just has not lost its grace.

lol you sharted yourself.

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SHIT(lololol), that sucks. He was great.

That sucks that guy died!


Nothing like drinking a bunch of beer while rocking out to straight edge hardcore!

Gargle with some hot water with salt and baking soda in it. Just a pinch of each.And yes, it tastes terrible, but it works. Or drink some tea with honey in it if you're able. Local honey is the best because you're less apt to have an allergy to it. That is providing you're not diabetic or anything like that. Pineapple juice, not the mamby pamby kind, but real stuff is good for coughs, too.
And stay away from Requiem! You guys don't need to breathe on each other!

I'm gonna open up the metaltabs medical ward. haha Would it be silly of me to play death metal over the Musak?

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Does beer work? I drank a bunch tonight and it doesn't seem to be helping any.

Have you ever tried to gargle with beer? It's quite a thing to see. And no, it won't work. I don't care what my husband says beer does not cure everything or anything. On second thought it does help lactating women, but only in small amounts. If you're not a lactating woman it won't do anything for you.
Smart ass.

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You just haven't had enough. I'd recommend having a little more and see how you feel. I'm pretty sure it goes like this:

Weak Cough: 2 Beers
Normal Cough: 3 Beers
Bad Cough: 5 Beers
Flu Cough: 7-10 Beers (depending on severity)

I hope this helps.



This is offensive to my previous advice

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I think I'm already into Flu Cough range..but it's still not working. Fuck!

Depending on what you're drinking you may move into Req's world of torrential runs. Please, refrain from washing out your undies in the bathtub. If you wish you can save a fresh batch for Paddy's business. I already wrote his commercial. http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=43975

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Haha shart. I like DART too (Diarrhea Fart)

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Hey, if you want something hot 'n salty to gargle on I...ahhh fuck this.

i am swift on my way to joining the mono club... did a blood test yesterday.

have hepatitis as a result of it, too

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Haha... same old act getting old Paddy?

Christ man... sorry to hear that Is the one you have treatable?

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I hope you get better soon, Tran. That's crappy that they both hit you.

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Oh fuck man...
You`ll make it to health dude

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A, B, or C tran?

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I've heard some bad stories about mono, including starting to enjoy day-time television.

I hope your hep isn't serious, man. Best of health to you.

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If anyone is interested, the USPS released the new Simpson's stamps today. I'm married to a mailman so he got me mine already.
God knows what he'll want in return. DOH!

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Damn sam, best of luck with getting through that shit. My uncle died from hep combined with sclerosis of the liver and cancer. Keep me posted bro.

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Ah Fuck Germany

I want to have some too

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I'm shaving my head tomorrow after 5 years of very few and far between trims. I shaved it bald once before after the first time I grew my hair out..I'm shaving it because I have an interview on Tuesday with Halifax Regional Police for a summer training program they are offering to potential recruits.

RIP.

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NO





DON'T DO IT

NO

HOLD UP


At least take before/after pics.

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haha, it's already done! I'll post pics soon. I didn't shave it bald like I had intended, but left a couple of centimetres in length.








Annnnnnnnnnd what the hell was up with MT not loading?

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why not just pull a Devin Townsend skullcap? Then you can have long hair AND be bald.

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Fuck being a cop! I could never be bound by the law like that... so much of it is complete and total bullshit. Join the fitters union with your big gay friend fagfrost! You have to be a drunk, a coke head, or divorced to join my local, or so it seems Hair is not an issue.

MT was dead all day

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Yeah I had the same problem for a few days. I thought something was wrong with my browser

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Ok they always say you shouldn't drink while on antibiotics... and I did drink a little bit. Just ONE pint of ale. It probably isn't a big deal, right?

I'm on 500mg of Amoxicillin.
( Thanks to you Paddy! )

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Shit, you're one good lookin' motherfucker, I can't wait to see you in your uniform with your short back 'n sides. I may actually have a definitely-non-gay-just-appreciating-the-male-form-wank to your pictures, if that's ok with you of course

I think there was something wrong with the server and it needed rebooted or some such thing.

Ha! 500mg of Amoxicillin ain't gonna shift that infection, son! They don't call me The Big Cheese for nothing'.

I don't think you're in much danger with one pint. You're still here, and haven't had a massive psychotic brain attack or puked a kidney, so you'll be grand.

Well, duh, Paddy. That's what I told you Alex said. I have connections. And his email address. He also ran out of free disk space. I just read a new email. So that's what was up.

I saw that back 'n' sides, too.

BassB'- For some reason it doesn't really surprise me that you'd try that out. I wish you the best of luck. You've always had such gorgeous hair can I have the rest of your shampoo? Just don't let Paddy near it!!

Alcohol keeps the antibiotic from working so I don't think it would hurt, but it won't let it work either. For some reason I'm thinking that can make you sensitive to sunlight, too, so you might want to check on that.
Are you allergic to penicillin? That's what I've taken because I am.

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OLLOLOLOLSULULULOLOLULZ ButtBehemoth as a police officer OLZLOLZLOLOLULZ OMFGLMFAO LAWLZ





I AM THE LAW

Don't they do drug tests for prospective law enforcement up in Canada? Are you going to go the extra mile an not blaze for a whole month? And then not blaze ever again after that?

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Shit Nick, if I had to cut my hair for a chance at becoming something I want I wouldn't hesitate. Good luck with that, and lemme know how that goes.

YES. MT is back, I actually missed this place.

BassB my homie joing the po-po? Can't believe it!

Haha

I wasn't worried about severe side effects as a result of that pint But I have been told that even one drink can counteract the antibiotic. I'm just not sure if that would have any effect on my infection. It's actually an abscess on the back of my leg which recently burst and turned into an infected hole about the circumference of a penny. Smells terrific

I'm not allergic to Penicillin. And I'm not sure why my doctor gave me Amoxicillin either

I haven't noticed a difference around sunlight, most likely because I've always been really sensitive to sunlight and I stay indoors as much as possible when it's sunny haha.

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hair is actually a pain in the ass. I'm glad I cut mine short after so many years

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i can almost taste it!

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So what are you doing for the hole there? What caused it?

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Children of Bodom just fucking cancelled all of the remaining dates of their US tour. I was gunna go to the show on wednesday, but not anymore.

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I want pics of that hole.

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trying to motivate to study *sigh* not working

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just got back from my dr. appt for my arm. The bone is fully healed and he says i have no restrictions with it. besides still being stiff, still some slight nerve bruising, and not quite being able to fully extend it yet, everything is good. Time to get back in the gym.

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nice one td! *hugs* glad it healed up well

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Let's make a deal: you study as often as you're supposed to and I'll stop sneaking into your house in the middle of the night to chew on your hair while you sleep. And I'll stop waking your boyfriend up so he can watch. He likes to watch; all he asks in return is that I lick his balls while he eats Coco Pops. Each to his own!

Glad to hear you're all better chief Now you can hunt down those cunts who ganged up on ya in the bar and break more than their noses

thanks guys. haha paddy, let me get my arm back up to strength first so i can really do some damage.

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rofl @ paddy!!

that would be a good stunt!! since my boyfriend is in england

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Shit, if you're not there...then what crazy bitch's hair have I been chewing on? Oh fuck, I've said too much...

i've given up trying to study lol

just messing about online playing games, looking at buying stuff (boring stuff to help with my studies), reading compy mag & keeping an eye on my forums & email

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Same here bunny. Except my studies aren't important(not school related), I'm just picking up my Python book again. What kind of study enchancments are you looking at?♠♠

voice recorders to record tutorials & that when plugged into pc will convert voice to text, dragon voice recognition software, one of those pen things that scan text & store it so you can put it into your computer later (forget the name), coloured overlays, a decent camera so i can take pics of diagrams on boards in tutorials, coloured counters, coloured matchsticks... lol

on a serious note requiem i have been recently diagonised with dyscalculia and dyspraxia so i'm looking at study aids to help me i'm entitled to money so i'm looking at what "toys" i can spend the money on when it comes through

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neither, hepatitis X i guess, its an as of yet unidentified virus that's enlarged my liver.

should explain: hepatitis technically means enlarged liver, A ,B C are all strains of a virus that cause that..... but hep X is just any enlarged liver


probably not mono, first mono test was negative. waiting for CMV test results, no big deal . its nothing permanent (so they say) and i should be ok in a while. it would be nice if i could put my feetup but i have big papers/articles to write and such. oh well, i'll make it through fine im sure

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hope it clears up for you soon tran xx

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tran, I think my friend's liver problem had to do with his thymus. I don't know if it did the same thing to him as you though. I just thought I'd mention it.

bunny, I just looked those 2 terms up. That really blows my mind. Kinda makes me wonder about myself, but it's a little late for all that now in my case. Just curious.

If there's a cause for forgetting how to spell certain words that just blank out into phoenetics then I'm real guilty of that. Especially lately. Or maybe it's just from the company I've been keeping.

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lol ta lb,

yeah i had to get assessed (why i was in belfast on friday) & the woman said she was amazed how i got through the schooling system without it being picked up. i know that answer, teachers being lazy basically - they helped the children that were good at maths but not those that weren't.

but the up-side (as i've said) i will be able to buy some new "toys" to help me with my studies

plus i get an extra 15mins for every hour in the exams, i'll be able to take my exam on the computer (cause of poor handwriting caused by the dyspraxia), i can get rest breaks, i can even take the exam in a room outside the main hall if i want too. i am also entitled to extra help with my studies

so yeah all in all it's a good thing shame it wasn't picked up sooner!

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I'm so glad they found out. Of course it was about 100 years ago, but my schooling was pretty much shot for much that mattered after 7th grade. I don't think they tested for anything other than basics back then. Even my vision problems weren't picked up til I was almost 40. There's so many things can cause people trouble and they unnecessarily get labeled lazy or unco-ordinated and it's irritating because there's an unknown yet valid reason. My son's bipolar is the same thing. If you don't know and don't suspect what it might be you can't treat or help the problem.
I'm glad you're getting help. You're a good cookie.

The "No Child Left Behind" thing they have in the states is utter crap to me. I've seen too many kids that were pushed through the system without knowing shit from Shinola. Like you said about the teachers helping the "good" students and the rest just getting pushed through the system with no help.

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ta lb *hugs*

yeah the university are good about it all, they paid for the assessment because i am on finanical aid through them for my courses otherwise it would have cost me £250!!

& it was one of their learning support advisors that was telling me to get tested & depending on what the results were they would make sure i get all the help that i need.

& the university will get a copy of the report of my assessment & my current tutors & all future tutors as well

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haha. Thanks for the comments guys.

I haven't touched drugs in years. I've learned my lessons long ago. I couldn't care less if I never smoked again.

The drug tests don't worry me in the least..the thing to worry about is the mandatory polygraph tests. Very personal questions. In-depth questions about every little crime/vice you've ever committed. All the drugs you've ever done, the amount of times you've done them.. Even Questions about engaging in underage sodomy, bestiality, children porn, ect.

In other words..Paddy would be a big fail.

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yeah the polygraph is why i decided to go for a Corrections Officer instead of a state trooper. I wouldn't pass that thing to save my life haha

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bodom are kinda fags now anyway

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I just want to know which of us are you guys gonna frisk first?

Hey, I'm old. I have to know these things.

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You fucking faker! We thought you were dying! YOU'RE A PHONY!

Haha in all seriousness, I hope you get through it chief. And hell, if you need a liver transplant I'll gladly give ya one of mine Only one previous owner, died of a cum overdose which definitely did not involve me or my cum reserves. Might need to wring it out a bit...you're not on a low-salt diet, are ya?

I had an interview with the police once. It was soon after they arrested me, but a few years later I had another one when I applied for a job. I think I may have failed before I even started because I claimed to have no criminal record and no known sex offences, even though I applied for the job at the same station in which I was beaten to a pulp 3 years earlier, with my teeth marks still visible on the arresting officer's helmet (you're a dirty cunt!). I saved the transcript of the polygraph:

"Have you ever watched, bought or starred in child pornography?"
"Exclusively child? No."
"I appreciate your honesty. Welcome aboard, son."
"FUCK YOU PIG, I just wanted to tell someone in uniform what a dirty cunt I am, and the guys at Burger King won't let me in anymore."
"Wait! ...would you have any problem tasering small children, the elderly or the infirmed?"
*gets erection*
"I can see from my testing equipment that you just got an erection. Welcome aboard, son."
"FUCK YOU PIG! FUCK DA PO PO! AND TINKY WINKY, that guy's a cunt!"

I wanna be a cop so I can look like the gay one from the Village People.

Hahaha just kidding, chief. Good luck with your career! Don't baton my face too much when I'm in Canada fucking chimps - they like it!

P.S. If you wanna sway the results of the polygraph in your favour a little, try to suck your anus up inside you, as if you're trying to snip off a turd, like when the phone rings and you have to behead your turtle otherwise you'll look like a broken-down sausage machine as you shimmy along the corridor towards the phone, trying not to create too much of a mess between your grinding cheeks.

Paddy, it's time for your pill.

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