Comment...!!!

Come with me my love,
As I end this life I have.

Life is a prison,
But we will escape together.

We’ll bleed to death
In each other’s arms.

I’ll slit yours,
If you slit mine.

I’ll shoot you,
If you shoot me.

Feed me pills I’m not supposed to take,
And I’ll share them with you in our last kiss.

We’ll jump together,
And we’ll hit the ground holding hands.

We can dive into the water,
And watch each other lose our last breath.

We can sip poison,
And die like Romeo and Juliet.

I don’t mind,
As long as I go with you by my side.

We’ll walk into the light together,
And be free from this torment we’re drowning in.

If this is the only way to escape life’s pain,
Then bleed on me darling, as we slip away.

I’ll look in your eyes.
One kiss goodbye.
And I’ll see you soon.

They’ll find us on the floor,
Soaking in each other’s blood.

My eyes locked on yours,
And yours on mine.

My arms around you,
And yours around me.

If death is the answer to love’s mysteries,
Then we will find it, no matter what it takes.

People die,
But true love is forever.

There was nice two-sided symmetry there that indicates that they are two halves of a whole but I felt it could have been tapped more.

I don't like the generic pain thing. Be more specific. Is their love frowned upon or forbidden? It's makes it hard to sympathise. Especially in the modern climate where being apparently irreparably morose has the strange dualistic status of being both yawnsome and comical.

Overall, it's a beautiful sentiment and it's applied well in an extreme realisation.

Good work. And I initially read it for a laugh.

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I'm still debating on it. It seems too much like a list to me. The form isn't bad and it breaks from the structure a little which keeps it from being totally tedious, but it's just not doing it for me. That's only my opinion. Someone else may love it.

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